Charles couldn’t look at Lily after he helped her out of the coach, so he turned his focus on their destination. They faced a lovely townhouse with dead ivy crawling up the walls. He rapped the knocker, and a tall, muscular middle-aged butler met them at the door.
“Lord Lonsdale to see Lord Darlington.”
“Is there a message to take to Lord Darlington?” the butler asked.
“Tell him, Cam.”
They were allowed inside and waited in the entryway while the butler went upstairs. Charles kept himself at attention, still trying not to look at Lily. A few minutes later, the butler returned.
“I’m to show you to the library. His lordship will be down as soon as he is dressed. He also told me to deliver these.” He held a handful of letters, addressed to all of the League members.
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“I’ll have my quickest lads deliver them at once.”
Charles and Lily were shown into the library. Charles found himself torn between wanting to speak to her and wanting to be as far away as possible.
“Charles,” Lily whispered and glanced his way. She looked somehow more beautiful. “Please, say something. Anything.”
God help me, I think I still love her, the woman who would bring about my destruction.
“Was any of it real?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
She wiped a tear and sniffed. “Every minute.”
“I asked you to marry me.” He still didn’t believe her, even though he wanted to. She’d admitted to her deception, so what did any of it truly mean now?
“And I wanted to. I still do, but I know that’s impossible.” She turned away, looking out the window at the frosted garden outside, lit by moonlight. “Still, I cannot regret telling you the truth. As painful as this is, despite everything I have lost in telling you, it has also lifted a great weight off me.”
He thought of the long carriage ride to this house, how she’d spent the ride curled up the corner, taking up so little space, as though she thought she didn’t deserve it. The misery in her eyes had cut him to the core. He was hurt, it was true. He had been compromised and betrayed. But he also had to try to see the world through her eyes. It was not as if she had ended up here by choice.
Hugo had taken her, hurt her, forced a child on her, and then threatened to take that child away. She had never had a choice in any of this, not from the moment Hugo had had his way with her. It was unfair to hold her accountable for his actions. She had made a choice to confess all to him. Wouldn’t that include how she truly felt?
His hands curled into fists as he fought off conflicting emotions.
Charles moved toward her. Before he could think twice, he grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face him. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t speak. He jerked her to him, slamming his mouth down over hers.
Part of him wanted to punish her for her betrayal, show her how furious he was, but an animal hunger took over and all he now wanted was her. Lily in his arms, in his bed, beneath him, with him, part of him. Life was a cruel mistress who showed him no mercy.
“Charles.” Lily gasped his name.
“Tell me to stop and I will.” He moved their bodies back so they were pressed flush against the nearest bookshelf. He fisted a hand in her hair and moved his lips down the smooth column of her throat, wanting to explore her more than ever.
“Please, don’t stop. Not ever,” Lily whimpered as he nipped her collarbone. Charles tore the ties to her cloak apart, and it fell to the floor at her feet. The swell of her perfect breasts made him hungry. She’d bound these beauties flat for an entire year? It was a crime against nature, one that he would make her pay for by spending hours exploring them with his mouth and hands.
“I should hate you,” he said as his lips returned to hers in another violent kiss. Their mouths broke apart, and she gazed at him with those blue eyes of hers that were infinitely bewitching.
“You have every right to hate me,” she replied. Tears coated her lashes now as she blinked rapidly.
“I hate how weak you make me feel,” he said, and each word tasted bitter on his lips. “I hate everything Hugo has made you do. But I don’t hate you.”
Lily curled her fingers into the lapels of his coat and leaned into him. “There were so many nights I wanted to crawl into your bed and lie against you. You made me feel safe. I am trusting you now, tonight, to protect not only me but my child. Please, Charles, I know my betrayal is unforgivable, but Katherine is innocent in all this.”
The anger that had mingled with his lust faded, leaving only a softer, deeper desire that frightened him. He wrapped his arms around Lily.
“I will protect you both.”
They were quiet a moment, simply holding each other in quiet desperation. The library door opened, and a blond-haired man entered. He wore slightly shabby clothes, but Charles knew they’d been fine once. Darlington had fallen on hard times of late.
“Lord Darlington.” Charles greeted the viscount with a nod. “Thank you for allowing us to impose upon you.”
Darlington flashed them a rakish grin as he looked at Lily. “Of course. No trouble. I imagine your friends will be arriving shortly. Tea is on the way, such as it is.” Darlington chuckled. Charles didn’t miss the rumpled clothes and mussed hair. He’d obviously come from sleeping, and Charles and Lily had interrupted him.
“Lord Darlington, I’d like to introduce you to Lily, Lily Linley.” He nodded at his woman.
Darlington came over and kissed her hand. “Enchantée.”
Lilly blushed and smiled. Charles tried to stop himself from feeling jealous. Darlington was a rogue with a wicked reputation almost on par with his own.
“Linley, you say? The rumors said you were head over heels for a widow named Wycliff,” Darlington observed.
“Yes, quite head over heels, considering she’s the same woman,” Charles murmured and glanced toward Lily. She paled, and he wondered what she was thinking.
Darlington’s gaze drifted between them a moment. “Well, make yourselves comfortable. My butler will show the others in when they arrive.”
“Thank you.” Charles waited until Darlington was gone before he took Lily into his arms again. “You must tell me everything. The others too. Can you do that?”
Lily nodded. “I’m afraid it will only make you angry…to know everything.”
“Just answer me this.” Charles steeled himself for the answer he suspected she would give them. “Did Hugo send you to me as Lily? Did he want me to fall for you? Was this all planned in advance, even our encounter in the tunnels?”
She paused, and her hesitation drove a dagger into his heart.
“You did not rescue me at Lewis Street. I was there on a separate mission for Hugo. He sometimes calls upon me on my days off as Tom. But when Hugo learned that you had encountered me as Lily and that you were intrigued by me…”
Charles frowned. “He knew he could use you against me.”
“His original idea was for me to pose as his cousin, hoping you’d try to use me to learn information about him. But when Emily came to me with her own plan, Hugo decided to embrace it instead. He knew you would trust Emily far more than anyone else.”
Charles sighed, an unbearable weight settling on his chest. “He’s not wrong. I would trust Emily with anything,”
“But I never meant for you to meet me in the Lewis Street tunnels that night,” she quickly added. “Not as myself.”
The misery he had tried to keep at bay broke through. “Hugo has always known how to hurt me, to make me bleed.” He moved on shaky legs to a chair and collapsed into it. Lily was suddenly at his feet, resting her cheek against his knee as she clung to his legs.
“Again, I know you can’t believe me or even trust me.” Her voice was so broken that it nearly killed him. “But I do love you. I never hid that fact. I never acted beyond what I felt. If anything, I held myself back as much as I could.”
I can forgive you, but how can I trust you?
He reached out to touch her hair, to ground himself by touching those golden strands. But before he could, Lily was up and walking back to the window.
He would see to Lily and Kat’s safety, that much he knew. They were as much victims in this tragedy as anyone, and he would not let Hugo harm a hair on her or Katherine’s head. But beyond that? He knew he would spend the rest of his life missing her once she and her daughter were able to leave London safely. He would never feel like this with any other woman again, not ever.
He stared at the toes of his boots and she watched the garden, both of them ignoring the silence that had grown into a thickening fog between them.
Ashton was the first to arrive. He strode into the library and nodded to Charles.
“Glad to see my rendezvous plan was executed properly—” He froze when he saw Lily. “However,” he began again, “normally one does not invite one’s lover to a war council, no matter how attractive she is.”
“Believe me, Ash, she is more a part of this than you realize.”
Ashton folded his arms over his chest. “I assume you’ll explain?”
“I will, once the others are here,” Charles promised.
“Very well.”
Soon Godric and Lucien arrived, and right on their heels were Jonathan and Cedric. None of the League were smiling, but that was understandable. This was a summoning, a war council that Ashton had arranged long ago. They were all to meet at Lord Darlington’s should they receive a message from Darlington with the word Cam in it—the river they’d rescued Charles from all those years ago. Anyone watching their letters or their communications would likely not see the significance of a letter from Darlington because he was outside of their immediate circle.
“What’s Mrs. Wycliff doing here?” Godric asked when he saw Lily. “Emily is expecting you home any minute to see Sophia to bed.”
Charles saw Lily stiffen.
“Is she all right?” Lily asked Godric.
“Sophia is fine,” Godric assured her. “But I still don’t understand why you are here?”
“I promise you, Lily’s presence here is necessary,” said Charles told his friends.
“Everyone, take a seat,” Ashton said. “Charles, I believe, has some information to share with us.”
Charles stood. His palms were slick with sweat, but he had to tell his friends the truth.
He cleared his throat. “I know you’re wondering why Lily is here.”
He waited for her to join him, and she did, her face downcast. He understood her concern. He was about to explain how she’d betrayed him, betrayed them all, and how she was now begging for their help.
“Lily’s real name is Lily Linley.” He paused. “For the last year, she has been living under my roof as my valet, Tom Linley.”
This caused murmurs of concern to break out among the League. At another time or another place, there would have been a lot of good-natured ribbing at Charles’s expense over the matter. But given why they were here, they knew the significance of this revelation went far beyond an amusing social farce.
“I was not aware of her deception until tonight,” Charles said. “She was sent by Hugo to work at Berkley’s Club to be a spy, and on his orders she eventually infiltrated my house as a servant.”
The silence that descended on the room was deafening. Only the grandfather clock out in the hall could be heard ticking slowly.
“Hugo hired you?” Ashton’s tone was that of ice. Charles reached out and took one of Lily’s hands in his, squeezing it gently.
“She wasn’t hired,” Charles said. “I want every man in this room to understand this. Lily was a maid in Hugo’s house when he…”
“Hugo Waverly raped me.” Lily raised her eyes and looked at everyone in the room. Her voice was strong and fearless at a time when she had every right to be afraid. “I escaped from him and gave birth to his child in private, but he found me again. He pressed me into his service, threatening to take my child if I did not do as he commanded.”
Charles squeezed her hand again. He was proud of her courage.
“Hugo trained me to be useful to him. To become a tool, a weapon in service of the Crown. Only he soon decided to use me for his own personal aims, to use me against you all.”
“It’s perhaps unchristian of me, but I would like to throw Hugo in the Thames,” Lucien growled. “To rape a woman?”
Godric slammed a balled fist onto the reading table he sat at. “And then threaten her child?”
“And then force her to work for him?” Cedric howled. “Villain!”
“So why did you stop being Tom?” Ashton asked, the calmest of them all. “I assume Hugo changed his orders?”
“Yes. He wished for me to secure Charles’s affections, with the intention of having me betray him just before—”
“Before the endgame,” Ashton finished for her.
“This man is the devil himself,” Jonathan muttered.
“Yes, but the devil is clever and not to be underestimated. Such a betrayal, revealed at a time of Hugo’s choosing, would have broken Charles, made him incapable of defending himself.” Ashton still stared at Lily with a coldness that Charles didn’t like.
He was the only one who had any right to be furious with Lily. He was the fool who had fallen for her, the one who’d proposed to her after only a few brief encounters. Now when he looked at her, he saw a familiarity, the eyes he’d gazed into often enough over the last year, the eyes of a dear friend. And now he loved her, loved her madly. But how was he to know Lily’s true feelings? He could never fully trust her until the day Hugo stopped breathing.
“So, now we know something of Hugo’s plan and that his final stroke must be coming soon. How do we respond?” Cedric asked. He toyed with his cane.
Ashton still stared at Lily. “That depends on Miss Linley.”
Lily nodded, understanding. “What do you need of me?” Charles kept hold of her hand, hoping he could keep her calm, but the nervousness she had shown before had faded.
“How far did Hugo want you to go with your seduction?”
Her hand tightened in Charles’s grasp as she looked at him, pain in her blue eyes. “He wanted me to accept Charles’s proposal.”
A wave of despair washed over him, even though he had sensed with building dread that she would make this confession.
She squeezed his hand again. “The truth is, I wanted to say yes, even before Hugo ordered me to do so. But I had hoped to refuse as long as I could, to protect you,” she whispered. “Please, believe me.”
Charles’s eyes burned as he looked to Ashton. “Then perhaps we should give Hugo what he wants. A bloody wedding. The only way to end this is to make him believe all is going according to plan.”
“Quite right,” Ashton agreed. “But that means everyone in this room will be in grave danger. It is very likely that your wives, children, sisters, brothers, and mothers will all be at risk. No one will be judged if they choose to take their families and leave London.”
Charles stepped toward his friends. “You saved my life once, and that debt grows deeper each day. But this burden is mine alone to bear. You’ve helped me carry it long enough. I would beg all of you to leave.”
There was a long, heavy silence, again punctuated only by the ticking of the clock in the hall.
“We all went into the river that night,” Lucien said. “All of us. I’m staying here until the matter is settled once and for all.”
“As am I,” Cedric added with a nod.
Godric smirked. “I never liked that bastard, and I’ve been meaning to settle the score if I was offered the chance.”
“I may not have been part of your League until recently, but I am here now, and I’m not leaving either,” Jonathan said.
Ashton smiled grimly. “Then I believe it’s now a matter of seeing to the safety of our families. We should consider sending them away.”
“But you must be careful,” Lily interrupted. “Hugo has servants in each of your houses.”
“More men like Gordon?” Lucien demanded.
Lily nodded. “Yes. I do not know who they are, only that he has at least one in each townhouse in London.”
“What about the country homes?” Cedric asked.
She paused, uncertain. “I don’t believe so. But it is impossible to be sure.”
“And their job is to report back to him?” Ashton asked.
“Yes, anything they overhear, what they learn of your movements.”
“Might they attack us, like Gordon did?”
“They will do whatever Hugo asks of them, either out of loyalty or fear.”
“Wonderful,” said Godric. “Assassins in our midst.”
“If you send all your families away, Hugo will become suspicious,” said Lily. “You must stagger their trips. Come up with mundane reasons, play disappointed when they choose to leave. If Hugo senses you are trying to protect them, it will draw his attention.”
“Unless we distract him with the wedding,” Charles added. He knew Hugo would be thrilled to see his spy marry his hated enemy. All else would cease to matter once Hugo achieved that goal, because he’d have Charles exactly where he wanted him.
“Charles, you don’t need to” Lily began, but Ashton spoke over her.
“No, Charles is right. We’ll keep his mind plenty occupied if he thinks his plan is working. Lily, you will need to keep sending him reports, play his game, reluctantly, of course. Change nothing about your behavior, but I will advise you what to say about our plans.”
Charles balked. “I don’t want Lily involved aside from the wedding. She’s been a pawn in this long enough. She needs to be safe.” He owed her that much, at least. She was a victim of Hugo as much as he was. Perhaps in a way that made them even. Her life destroyed, his life betrayed.
They were perfectly matched by tragedy.
“No, Charles. Lord Lennox is right. I must play my part. Kat is the only thing that matters now. She must be kept safe.” She grasped both of his hands, and for a moment as he gazed into those cornflower-blue eyes, he saw Lily and Tom both there, begging him to trust them. It was an eerie thing to see a friend in a stranger’s eyes. Everything around them faded as he lost himself momentarily in her face, wishing more than anything that he’d met her in a world where Hugo didn’t exist.
“It is too dangerous. I’m not about to let you risk your life for me—”
She suddenly lunged at the hearth, retrieving a poker and swinging it so that it stopped a mere inch from his face. She wasn’t breathing hard, and something about her expert control over that fire poker made his blood sing with desire. Who knew he loved such a dangerous woman?
“Don’t forget, you fought me more than once when I was Tom. I was trained to fight long before I ever met you. I am not weak.”
“I know, but this shouldn’t be your fight, Lily. You deserve to be safe…after everything you’ve been through.”
Her eyes lowered until all he could see were her dark-gold lashes. “I don’t know about that. I’ve done things working for Hugo. Things I am not proud of.”
“I do not hold those things against you,” said Charles. “Anything you did was to protect your daughter from his clutches. How could I not understand that?” If he’d been alone with her and none of his friends were watching them like they were some sort of play, he would have pulled her into his arms, breathed in her sweet scent, and reassured her that he understood her actions with a kiss.
“I suppose a wedding will suit, since you two can’t keep your eyes or hands off each other,” Lucien said with a wry chuckle.
“Agreed,” Ashton said. “You and Lily indeed sell your attraction quite well.”
“Then you will need someone willing to aid you in your ruse,” Lily said. “A priest who can officiate, but agree not to finalize the marriage. I do not know how the church will look upon such fraud.”
“I may know someone,” said Ashton. “His parish is in the country, but I’m sure he will come here if I asked.”
“You will not need to,” said Charles suddenly, surprising even himself. “I intend to go through with this marriage without any deceptions.”
The other men in the room seemed a little puzzled by Charles’s bold statement.
“You cannot really wish to marry me,” Lily said.
“I do.” Not that he could say why. He knew there were reasons, but right now he was too afraid to examine them.
“But a wedding would be binding. It would truly make us…”
“Man and wife. Yes, I’m well aware of how weddings work.”
“It’s why he’s run the other way from them all his life.” Cedric snickered.
“You’re not helping,” said Godric. Charles heard Cedric curse as the duke kicked him in the shin.
“So we plan the wedding,” Ashton said. “We will keep Darlington’s house as a rendezvous point in case we must reconvene. The new code word will be…”
“Gardenias,” Charles said, thinking of what the shopkeeper had said the flower meant. The call of loneliness. And here he was, willing to marry a spy sent to betray him in an effort to cure that loneliness.
“Very well. Gardenias. But remember, you must continue to act normally. Assume everything you say outside of this house will reach Hugo’s ears. Not even Berkley’s is safe. Make no changes in staff. It would only alert him to our actions, and there would be no way to be sure you’d found the spy in your household.”
They soon came to an understanding of what had to be done. Charles shook the hand of each man as they left. Godric paused as they reached him.
“Lily, will you be returning home to my residence?”
Lily glanced at Charles. “Yes, I believe I must.”
“She will,” Charles agreed. “And I shall come with her.”
“But—” she began.
“Given the public announcement of our engagement, it will not seem out of place. There’s no chance that I will leave you and Kat alone.”
Godric nodded. “I will have a separate room prepared for you. I will see you both at the house then.”
Now only Ashton was left, who watched Charles carefully. He then turned to Lily. “I need a minute with Charles. Would you mind?”
“No, of course not.” She nodded and left the library. Charles instantly felt her absence. He feared that she would vanish all over again.
“Charles, I need to know where you truly stand on this.” Ashton placed a firm but gentle palm on his shoulder, grounding him in a way he hadn’t realized he needed. Tonight’s revelations had left him feeling oddly adrift.
“Where I stand?” he echoed.
“Yes. This marriage will be real. She will be your wife. I understand why you wish to protect her from Hugo, but are you certain you want to tie yourself to a woman who may not love you?” Ashton’s voice softened. “I know your heart, Charles. You put on a carefree demeanor, but you’ve always questioned whether you deserve love. I’m telling you, you do deserve love and happiness, like the rest of us. I can’t stand by and let you marry someone simply because of guilt, or because it makes the fight with Hugo a little easier.”
Ashton’s eyes seemed to glow in the reflection of the firelight in the hearth of Darlington’s library. Charles’s throat constricted as he spoke.
“Don’t worry about me. I am more concerned that you will all face this danger with me. I never meant for any of this to happen. It’s my fault.”
“The fault’s not with you, but Hugo. Every sin lies upon his head. Now, about Lily…”
“I know it makes me sound like a fool, or perhaps a madman, but I think I love her. And I suppose she knows me better than any woman ever has. As Tom she was a friend, a confidant. I never hid myself from her. Now that I’ve been around her as she truly is, as Lily, I find that strangely liberating.” He smiled ruefully. “Do you know how many women I’ve been with over the years, the famed courtesans, wicked widows, passionate spinsters? None of them knew any more about me than the smile I wished to present. Lily has seen me in my darkest moods, stayed with me through my nightmares, and never once abandoned me. I am still certain she cares for me. That must count for something, mustn’t it?”
How could he put into words the way Lily glowed as she entered a room, how his breath caught and he could barely remember his own name? It wasn’t merely that he wished it might be more. It was more. Had always been more.
“You are certain then?” Ashton asked.
“I am.”
“Well then, we shall make preparations for a wedding, and you will play the part of the smitten fiancé.”
For the first time in what felt like hours, he managed a smile. “That will not be hard,” Charles said. He would spend time with Lily and Kat. He would make sure that they were safe. His future wife and future child. Knowing how Katherine had been conceived only made him care more about the child. She needed love, security, and a father who would give her both.
And that man is me.