I wandered the halls of the Dark Prince’s castle with no particular purpose, no place I needed to go. I remembered that I was usually afraid of being here. I remembered that, once upon a time not too long ago (or was it a lifetime ago?), there had been something dangerous that lived here. Someone dangerous.
The blood-red threads of the carpet were cast like dandelion seeds as I walked, the entire thing disintegrating with every step I took. The oil paintings on the wall were all cocked too far to the left. The pillars of the hall I entered were tilted as well. Everything, in fact, looked as though it had shifted too far over, like it was in danger of collapsing at any second.
I tried to remember how I’d gotten here. I felt like I should remember that, but all I could recall was my friends, New York, talking with a Fae prince in a grand hall not unlike this one, and then…And then…
I shook my head. All that was left was a blank space. A chasm as dark as some of the rooms I walked past.
I let my feet carry me until I looked up and realized I’d arrived at the end of a hall I recognized. The hall with the seal that’d kept the Dark Prince controlled inside me. There used to be an imposing iron door reaching to the ceiling, secured with rivets as big as my head. The last time I’d visited, the door had still been in place, but there’d been enormous gashes from the times I’d lost control of the Dark Prince’s power. I’d seen true darkness on the other side of those gashes. It had called to me more than once; I had been terrified of what would happen if that darkness ever got free.
The entire door was ripped apart now. Each side hung limply, the edges where the two ends used to meet nothing but jagged metal. On the other side of the door was a simple—albeit large—open room, made of brick with no windows and no other doors.
The darkness was gone.
I clutched my hand to my chest as it twinged painfully. Thinking of that darkness brought back a wave of fresh memories. I remembered the Dark Prince being ripped from me. I remembered Kasia taking him.
“I am free now.”
I straightened up at the voice. I took a deep breath to steady myself and turned to face the Dark Prince. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’d expected to see him here. Somehow, the worst things in my life tended to linger.
Only…
I walked over to him. My heart didn’t speed up as I approached. My hands didn’t sweat when I stopped in front of him and looked up into his cold, golden eyes. He looked as terribly cruel and imposing as always, every line of him sharp enough to cut. Yet I could sense he was…less somehow. Less substantial. Less real.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached out to touch him.
My hand passed right through his chest. I drew it back, a humorless chuckle escaping my lips. “You’re not really here right now, are you?”
“I am whatever makes you feel better.”
I nudged my head outside, to the empty space beyond the walls of the castle. “You’re out there.”
“I am.”
“So I’m just talking with myself. Anything you say isn’t really you saying it.”
The Prince smirked. That certainly looked real enough, from the way his eyes lit up to the way his thumb rubbed against his index finger, like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to reach up and caress my face, or strangle me.
“Would that really be any different than how it was before? I am you. Or was.”
“You’re free now,” I said. “You’re out of my stupid, confining body and into the great, wide world. Is it everything you ever wanted? Are you happy?”
I wasn’t sure why I asked those words, but they fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. And the strangest part of it was, I really did want to know. As much pain and annoyance and grief he’d put me through, I was genuinely curious if this god who’d been with me for so long had finally gained what he’d wanted.
I expected the Prince to continue sneering at me, but instead his lips fell into a serious expression. “I got my body. How can I not be happy?”
I nodded. “Excellent. And all it cost was destroying me.”
“Don’t make this about you!” the Prince snarled. “It was always about you! From the moment I was cursed inside your infernal body every day was a battle to see if I could be more than just an afterthought to your life. And even when you found out that I was not just a little curse, that I was more than you ever thought possible, still it didn’t matter because you were the one in control. You, out of this relationship that affected both of us, you were always in control. It never mattered what I wanted, and you wouldn’t have given it to me, even if you’d cared.”
“I’m sorry.”
The Prince’s expression froze mid-retort. It looked so silly compared to his usual composed manner that I nearly laughed out loud. It was clear the apology had blindsided him. “No, you’re not. You’re not even close to sorry.”
“I guess I just wanted…” What had I wanted? At first, for him to leave me alone. Then for him to help me. And right before I’d lost him it was… “I guess I just wanted us to work together. I just wanted to stop fighting with you.”
“Well, now that’s impossible.”
“We can try again,” I said. “We can beat Kasia, I know we can if we work together. If we combine our strength I know we can beat her and then you’ll be free, I promise you’ll be—”
“Stop!” The Prince pressed his hands to his ears. It would have been funny how child-like the movement was if he hadn’t also looked to be in immense pain. “Don’t say that! Don’t give me that!”
“Give you what?” I said, my voice growing soft. “Give you what?”
He looked up, and there were tears red as blood leaking from the corners of his eyes. “Don’t give me hope.”
The ground lurched beneath my feet. I fumbled for footing as the entire castle began to dip, as the floor turned vertical and I was left grasping desperately at the fraying threads of the carpet to keep myself from falling.
I caught a final glimpse of the Dark Prince staring down at me as the castle crumbled away and I fell down into nothing.