PART FIVE

I

Two weeks before Aunty Cora come back, Peppy pick up herself and go over to New Green. She ask Jeff if him interested in accompanying her, but him say no, so she go by herself. She wasn’t sure what got into her the evening as she jump on the bus, but she guess she was just longing to see Leslie and George and Miss Irene and Vin, for after all, them more like family to her.

Most everybody on the bus know her and was glad to see her. Some of them school children, some market women, others of them contractor men coming from work. Them tell her how hers and Aunty Cora’s face miss plenty-plenty in New Green, especially down the shop and on Sundays at Communion. And Peppy was happy to see them, for New Green people always warm and loving to her. Them wanted to know how she doing at school, if she enjoy living with her father, when Miss Cora coming back, if she plan to bring things for them little boy, Junior, who don’t have shoes to wear to school September coming, or them little girl, Stephanie, whose only church frock on the last. But Peppy only smile and nod her head, yes, Aunty Cora soon come back, but she don’t know what she plan to bring.

The bus let her off in front the shop, and Peppy’s breath pull in same time. The walls needed a decent coat of painting, not to mention the fence Aunty Cora white-wash every Easter with the limestone mix. That lay tumble-over on the grass, with plenty idlers sitting on top, swinging feet, looking on. Peppy suck her teeth under her breath. If Aunty Cora was still running it, it wouldn’t look so disgraceful.

Several bad words reach her ears as she move slowly inside the shop. Aunty Cora never used to allow people to curse in her presence, not to mention gambling inside the shop. Three men sit down around a small square table gambling with cards. Them call out ‘howdy do’ as she step inside, and Peppy grudgingly force out ‘howdy do’ in return.

Mass Ernest’s picture replace Aunty Cora’s on the wall. Other family members paste-up elsewhere. Peppy put down thirty-five cents on the counter and order a bottle of aerated water, champagne flavour. It feel strange buying from her own shop. Mass Ernest pull off the stopper, and she turn the bottle to her head sucking down nearly half. Mass Ernest watch her from the corners of his eyes, so she couldn’t really scrutinize the shop as she have a mind. It was dark though, like him don’t open all the windows, and the glass case and barrel weren’t there anymore. A big table was there instead, and men play dominoes on it. Not much canned goods on the dust and cob-web laden shelves either, mostly liquor.

‘Miss Cora soon come back?’ Mass Ernest jerk out, eyes following Peppy’s.

She suck down more of her soda. ‘Two more weeks.’ The men gambling look up as she answer and turn back round when she finish. She put down the empty bottle on the counter. ‘Anybody see Leslie or George?’

One of the gamblers raise his head, ‘Leslie was down here earlier, but him gone up. No sign of George, though.’

Peppy tell him thanks and step through the door, the scent of stale cigarette and day-old beer clinging to her nostrils. Turning the corner at the cedar tree, she call out hello to Miss Beatrice, and her spoil daughter, Angie, to Mr Rob and his new live-in woman. Up ahead she could see MaDee’s tomb, the old out-house, white clothes billowing on the line, but no sign of Leslie or George. Peppy walk on up.

The grass in front the house grow up tall. She wonder if Leslie or George plan to cut it before Aunty Cora’s return. Making her way up to the verandah overlooking the garden fill up with weeds now, she listen for a familiar voice, or hoop. But everything dead-quiet. She run into Leslie.

‘Oh, is you!’ Him sound glad to see her. ‘I heard the person coming up the steps. How things?’

Peppy shrug, ‘Just come to see everybody.’

‘Well, is about time. From you leave, you don’t even drop a line. Let me know if you still living.’ Leslie was short and meager-body, have plenty spaces between all his teeth, and little strands of beard popping out on his chin. Him always pull them while speaking. ‘I get me first letter from MaCora just the other day.’

Peppy nod, following him inside the house. She careful not to mention that is four letters she get from Aunty Cora so far. ‘Your father coming out.’

Leslie stroke his chin. ‘I hope him can take me back to England with him this time.’

Peppy wonder if Leslie wasn’t tired of waiting. Him been singing the same Sankey ever since she can remember.

‘Where George and Miss Irene?’

‘Walk about as usual.’

‘I hear that Miss Gertie gone.’

Leslie kiss his teeth. ‘What a way news can travel. Couldn’t bear her any more, man.’

‘MaCora know?’

‘MaCora don’t matter right now. Me in charge. You hungry?’

‘Little bit.’

Leslie leave the room and Peppy look about her. She wonder why him rearrange the furniture. If him plan for Aunty Cora to see it like this.

‘You notice how the shop nasty and dirty?’ Leslie walk silently into the room with a bowl of soup. Him place it in front Peppy. ‘It would never look like that if MaCora did give it to me. Allow me to run it till she come back.’

‘I thought she just wanted to rent it out. Get rid of it. Let somebody else take care of it.’

‘Yes, but me and George could’ve run it. Me and George could’ve taken care of it. We was only in there for few months before she take away the key and complain how we can’t do business. She didn’t give me a proper chance.’

Peppy didn’t say anything else to him, for she know Aunty Cora would rather have family in the shop than renting it out. The few months she allow Leslie to run it, things just start to go bad. For according to Aunty Cora, Leslie not only trust out plenty of the goods to friends, but him wouldn’t get up out of bed early enough in the mornings and open the shop, so early-morning-people can get bread or crackers before them go on to work or school.

Other thing was Leslie’s lack of respect towards Aunty Cora’s older friends causing them to crawl up the hill to the house, no matter how sick and arthritic them was feeling, and to complain how them miss her bad-bad in the shop, for her grand boy, Leslie, don’t treat nor talk to them decent. Leslie and Aunty Cora did have it out the Sunday evening.

‘Give me the shop keys,’ she tell him. ‘For if you can’t act decent to the customers, it don’t spell sense you run business. Business not just buy and sell,’ she warn him, ‘it take me and Anderson plenty years to turn friends with New Green people. I can’t allow you to mash up everything I spend years build.’

Leslie kiss his teeth and fling down the set of keys. ‘I can’t bear to live with you,’ him tell her. ‘I can’t wait for the day when me father come and take me away. You not interested in me. You not interested in giving me a chance. Peppy alone get chance.’

Aunty Cora grab up her stick to lick him, but Leslie didn’t move, him stand up in front her same way waiting till she strike so him could unfurl all his frustration and fury on her.

Aunty Cora let the stick drop back on the floor. Her face seem older than usual to Peppy who was watching from the corner of the doorway. Aunty Cora brush her two hands and shake her head. Eye water was in her voice. ‘I finish with you, Mass Leslie, for I see that you ready to lift your hand and strike me. And when a child who me raise, whose shit I been cleaning from birth, who me work hard to feed, done grow big and ready to strike me when I talk to them, I done with you.

‘Boy who I spend so much money on. I send you go to trade school, for your head so hard you couldn’t pass exam to high school. But you curse the man you apprentice with and leave trade school. I give you a piece of land and few heads of cow, and say go farm, well, the cows almost drop down dead for water, for you wouldn’t feed them. The one time you plant anything, grass grow over it and kill it, for you wasn’t interested in taking care of it. You say you want motorbike to get around, I buy you a motorbike. Well, the motorbike park up around the house corner. I finish with you, boy.’ And with that song, Aunty Cora get up, bend over pick up the set of keys off her bedroom floor, and hobble away on her stick.

‘You notice how the place just dark and dirty,’ Leslie say to her, breaking into her thinking. ‘But that’s the way she prefer it. My own granny. Shit, boy,’ him say after a while, ‘when you have a granny like that, you don’t need enemy.’

‘Me might go to Foreign,’ Peppy tell him, changing the subject.

His forehead furrow-up all of a sudden. ‘Miss Gwennie sending for you?’

She sorry she tell him, for first of all she wasn’t sure, and secondly she didn’t like the sudden edge that attach itself to his voice.

‘Well, she sending for all the children.’

‘Huh,’ Leslie sigh. ‘You lucky. If it wasn’t for MaCora, I would be in England now.’

Peppy concentrate on her soup, sipping each spoonful carefully. Him was sitting across from her fixing a small transistor, the contents of its belly sprawl out on the table. These days him into technical work, before that it was carpentry, and before that tailoring.

‘I going up to Vin’s house after I finish eating,’ Peppy tell him.

Leslie didn’t answer right away. Him fling down a set of keys on the table. ‘Don’t bring in any of your boyfriends to come carouse now that MaCora not here. I know you.’

Peppy didn’t even bother to look at him. She finish off her soup, pick up the keys, wash, rinse, turn down her plate and then make her way up to Brocton, where Vin live.

II

Aunty Cora came two weeks after that. Walking home from school the evening, Peppy spy the white Peugeot park up infront her father’s house. She know right away it wasn’t Walter’s or Percy’s car, so it have to be one other person. Water fill her eyes same time and she was afraid to go inside. Aunty Cora look younger and stronger. Seems as if Foreign agree with her in truth. She did have on the same thick and heavy glasses and was wearing the very same piece of English cord tie-up around her head to keep them off her nose.

‘But look at me dying trial! Gal, you meagre!’ Aunty Cora bawl out as Peppy walk towards her, eyes not paying mind to anybody else in the room. And when Aunty Cora get up from out the off-white sofa and stretch out her two hands, Peppy allow the tears to run down and wet up Aunty Cora’s Foreign frock.

‘But look at me dying trial!’ Aunty Cora say again. ‘What kinda cow bawling this?’ She hand Peppy her white handkerchief with red and purple embroidery around the edges. ‘Gal,’ Aunty Cora say to her, after hugging, and settling herself back in the couch, ‘how things?’

Peppy never answer right away. She wish Rudi and Jeff and Rosa and Aunty Cora’s two friends weren’t there. She wish the two of them were alone, so them could talk freely. ‘Me alright.’

‘How Walter treating you?’

Peppy’s eyes reach Rudi’s and both sets turn away at the same time. ‘Alright.’

‘Just alright?’

Peppy nod, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

‘Well, gal,’ Aunty Cora say to her when she see she couldn’t get much out of Peppy with so many people about, ‘as long as you can stand up on your two feet, that must mean you alright in truth.’

Peppy wanted to fling herself down inside Aunty Cora’s lap and hug her good and plenty, but she pull up a chair instead and sit down next to her.

‘Come down Saturday,’ Aunty Cora tell her. ‘Then we can talk whole heap. I miss you, gal. Plenty, plenty.’

Well, the Saturday morning could barely break before Peppy tidy herself and hop onto the bus eager to spend time with Aunty Cora again. But as she comb her hair that morning, paying special attention to her appearance in the mirror, she couldn’t ignore the gloominess lodged inside her heart corner. And it didn’t just start up since Aunty Cora’s return, it’s been growing steadily for a while now.

She know Aunty Cora will want her to come back and live in New Green especially since Miss Gertie gone. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to go back. She and Rudi grow close over the months. She like to spend time and talk with him plenty. Neither George nor Leslie or even Vin hold her interest much anymore, even though them feel more like family to her in some ways. But it was more special with Rudi. These days she feel even closer to him, since him tell her his story.

Sometimes she feel so happy for him, she want to share it with friends at school, but she know she have to keep it confident. It’s amazing how well she can read him. Know exactly when to give him a walk, when to spend time, and when some topics make him more bashful than usual. She could tell from several weeks beforehand that something important was on his mind. Every time the two of them alone and the moment seem perfect, him would suddenly get up and turn on the radio, wipe off the counter, or dust down windows. Night time, when the two off them lie still inside the bed, him make sure silence don’t linger between them, sometimes talking till long after she drop asleep.

Finally one afternoon him turn to her: ‘Remember when you ask me what was the position between Percy and Martel?’

Peppy feel the grin spreading over her face. She know exactly what was coming next. She nod her head and look pass Rudi.

‘Well,’ him take a deep breath, clearing his throat, ‘them together.’ Him say it slow, as if uncertain about the timing, then him raise his head and look at Peppy.

Peppy continue to look pass him. Then in a voice trying its best to remain calm and nonchalant, she say to him: ‘I know about those things. MaCora tell me about those things all the time.’

Him look at Peppy close, surprise in his eyes. ‘Really!’

‘Well, you know if you spend plenty time inside a shop, you hear people talk about things. And one time them was talking about this man. Them call him batty-man and was laughing about it.

‘So that night when shop lock and me and MaCora was walking home, I mention it to her. And she start to whoop, lasting about four whole minutes. Then she tell me that’s what them call men who love other men. And she say nothing wrong with it, but plenty people don’t like hear about it. But as far as she concern, people can do whatever them damn well please with whichever part of them body them damn well want. For them not paying taxes for it.’

Rudi grin, relaxing more.

‘And you know what else?’ Peppy’s face was starting to glow. ‘She tell me about this woman she used to study cooking and baking and decorating with. Miss Clementine. Rumour had it that Miss Clementine was sodomite. She used to do it with some of the other girls that study there.’

Rudi never say anything when Peppy finish talk. She try to remember other things Aunty Cora did say, but nothing come to mind.

‘Well, I’m that way too,’ Rudi say to her after a while, letting out a long sigh. ‘I mean . . .’

‘Nothing wrong with that,’ Peppy blurt out. She wasn’t sure what else to say. According to Pastor Longmore those things wrong. One Sunday in church, him mention how all those men who go to one another for love and affection had better change them ways, for God just going to shut the doors of heaven in them face. And from where she was sitting down inside the front pew with the rest of children her age, she did turn round to the back of the room to look at Aunty Cora, to see if she listening. For it was just several weeks before, that them discuss Miss Clementine. But Aunty Cora’s head was bent forward as usual, as if praying. Beads of sweat gather-up crossway her forehead and she was fanning with her hymn book.

She could barely wait till the sermon to ask Aunty Cora about it.

‘Lord, Peppy, man. The sermon was almost three hours long. How me to remember every thing, so?’

‘Well, I mean the part about . . .’ Peppy pause. She was sure Aunty Cora well know what she talking about. ‘I mean when him was talking about those people who not going heaven . . . people like Miss Clementine, I mean.’

‘But look at me dying trial! How you and Pastor Longmore know Miss Clementine not going to heaven.’ Aunty Cora let out one of her long whoops.

Peppy was certain Miss Gertie going to put down her pipe and run come to find out what Aunty Cora laughing about, for Miss Gertie is a woman who love sweet joke. Peppy wish Aunty Cora would keep quiet and get back to the subject at hand.

Aunty Cora never say anything for a while. The two of them was sitting on the verandah steps, sun gone down for the day, moon lurking somewhere in the distance. ‘What a way you interested in these things,’ she finally let out. ‘Other times, all you do is chat-up chat-up with your friends while Pastor Longmore preaching. Anyway,’ she breath in deep, ‘you growing. You will understand better as you grow. But not everybody interpret things the same as I tell you. Bible say one thing, John Brown say another. Bible big and open wide. It say plenty things, it mean plenty more other things.’

Aunty Cora wasn’t making herself clear, but Peppy think she understand.

‘Then how you must know what to believe? How one must know right from wrong?’ she ask her.

‘Gal, pickney, life is mystery own self. You growing, you will see. Sometimes is you alone, you have to make choices. Sometimes you find out right and wrong only through trial and error. Other times is only by what feel good deep down inside your belly bottom. Nothing else.’ Aunty Cora left it at that. She say she was feeling tired and needed to lay down a little. Peppy remain outside on the verandah even after Aunty Cora leave, fanning away mosquitoes. She could smell Miss Gertie’s tobacco close by.

Peppy’s mind turn back to the situation at hand with Rudi. The silence in the room was overbearing. She wonder where Jeff and Rosa, if them outside playing, or if them listening. She look across on Rudi, perch-up uncomfortable on the hassock, twirling the thin line of moustache that resemble Martel’s.

‘You have a fellow?’ Peppy stutter little bit. ‘I mean, you have somebody who . . .’

‘I know what you mean.’ Rudi stretch out his legs. ‘I have one friend.’

Peppy didn’t like the way the conversation was taking shape. She wanted him to talk to her with the same kind of confidence, the same kind of enthusiasm, that him use when talking about Martel and Percy, or about the people him dance with down at the Cultural Centre where him start to take lessons. Now him just say one thing and pause, waiting till she say the other bit, before starting again. She want him to talk, like the way Aunty Cora talk, so everything can sound alright.

‘So tell me,’ she press him, ‘tell me his name, what him look like, where you meet. Tell me everything. I want know.’

And Rudi was shy at first, for him was afraid. But then it start to pour out plenty, almost like water through pipe that have wear-out washer, little bit at first, then as the washer get worse, more and more. And him tell Peppy about the boy, Terence, jet black with white-white teeth. And how Terence used to go to the Youth Camp where Walter teach and how them just used to only say howdy-do at first and never quite talk. Then one night, Rudi see him at party and them start to talk.

And Peppy just sit down and listen, for the way Rudi was talking now, confident-like, she could tell that whatever him say was alright, for it sound like it was feeling good to him deep down in his belly bottom. And even when Rudi reach to the part about where them kiss, her hand-middle was still dry, and her breathing never change pace, she only grin instead, and him grin back in return, fingers playing with the thin-line moustache, same way.

So when Rudi tell her these personal things, Peppy feel almost like she and him is one, like them is true brother and sister. And she tell him about her friend at school, Jasmine, and how Jasmine’s mother was that way too. For according to Jasmine, that was what cause the final split between her parents, but she already suspected it, because her mother and the lady was much too close. Jasmine say she don’t really mind, for the lady nice and treat she, Jasmine, and her two brothers good. And since her father was only part-time anyway, it don’t really matter, for she didn’t know him well.

During the story about Jasmine’s mother she notice him relaxing more and more. And it make her feel even closer to him, like she would do anything to protect him, to make sure him feel comfortable all the time. And as these things run through Peppy’s mind as she make her way up to Aunty Cora’s house the Saturday morning, she come to a decision about what she going to tell Aunty Cora.

Aunty Cora was stretched out on her big, four-poster bed, when Peppy push open the door and step inside her room. It smelt of arthritis rubbings and ointments as usual, with little Foreign scent mix-up with it. The barrel she bring back was resting near her bed. Plenty of the things from inside sprawl around on the floor.

‘I dead tired, gal,’ Aunty Cora say in greeting to Peppy.

Peppy walk over to her bed, and sit down at the foot. ‘You must be really tired. Near twelve o’clock, and you still in bed.’ Concern stain her voice.

Aunty Cora fix the pillows behind her head. ‘Ever since I come back, I tired more than usual. I don’t know is what. And then, I feel this lump moving around plenty inside me belly, too. Lord, gal, when is not one thing, is another. I have to go and see Doctor Lord.’

Peppy sigh. There now, Aunty Cora sick. Who will look after her?

‘You hear anything about Miss Gertie?’

Aunty Cora shake her head. ‘I send telegram to her son, so I waiting. Man, I don’t know how me and Leslie going to make out. Everything that damn boy do raise me blood pressure.’

Peppy didn’t say anything. She never usually know what to say when Aunty Cora complain about Leslie.

‘Me talk with Gwennie,’ Aunty Cora say after a long pause. ‘She want you to come over with the other children.’

‘Then, what about you?’ Peppy ask first thing.

‘What about me?’ Aunty Cora fix the pillows behind her head again.

‘Who going to look after you when you get sick? Who going to stay with you?’ Peppy kick off her shoes and hop up inside the bed beside Aunty Cora, the two heads pressing into the pillows Aunty Cora just finish fluff-up.

‘Lord, gal. You chat too much nonsense.’ Aunty Cora fix the sheet around Peppy’s feet.

‘But me serious, MaCora.’ Peppy’s voice raise-up.

But Aunty Cora only murmur. After a long time, she say: ‘Gal, I turn into old somebody now. I soon die and leave you. I want you to go to Foreign and get good schooling. I want you to get a good education, so you can turn out decent. Don’t bother to think about me. Is your life now.’

Eye water gather up in Peppy’s eyes. She try to hold them back. She didn’t want Aunty Cora to see her crying. She big now. Peppy shift round in the bed. Aunty Cora didn’t move much. Just lie down still.

‘I don’t want to go Foreign. I don’t even know me mother.’ Peppy stop. The word sound strange to her. ‘I don’t even know her good, how me and she going to get on?’

Peppy did have plenty more questions, but Aunty Cora hush her up. ‘Stop your damn foolishness. How you mean you don’t want to go! You have big-big opportunity right in front your eyes and you mad want to fling it away. How you mean you don’t want to go!’ Aunty Cora was facing Peppy now. ‘Gal, don’t chat nonsense.’ Her voice was firm. Peppy know the conversation near finish.

‘But I don’t know her, MaCora. How we going to get on?’ Peppy’s voice was firm too.

Aunty Cora sigh long and plenty. ‘Don’t bother about those things. Just think about going abroad. Think about education and to turn decent. Think about your future. New Green don’t have future to give you, only baby and marriage, hungry-belly and poverty. I want you to have more.

‘I want you to turn lawyer, or teacher or doctor, even businesswoman. I don’t want to see you with New Green boys, all them can give you is hungry-belly and plenty children. Things will work out with you and Gwennie. I know it. It won’t be rosy at first. For you don’t know one another well. But you have to try, and she too. But things will work out good.’ And with that song, Aunty Cora put an end to the conversation. And after enough silence pass over them, she start up again.

‘You will like the place, Hartford. Nice big shady trees. Gwennie’s house right at the foot of a place them call Blue Hills or Fields, I can’t quite remember. The Sunday evening I was staying there, her gentleman friend drive us up there. Gal, you know big house!’ Aunty Cora stop and look at Peppy, her eyes wide with wonder. ‘Houses big and pretty with big lawn and big car and even swimming pool around back. Gwennie say it costly to live up there though, cheaper houses down at the bottom.

‘And even then, if it wasn’t for your uncle Samuel who bargain with the man, it would still cost more. But she say it better there than down on Milk Street.’ Aunty Cora shake her head. ‘Milk Street bad as yaws she say. Plenty gunmen and drugs and informer, just like them bad parts out here. Not safe. But you will just have to care yourself. Don’t walk about at night, have company at all times. Believe in you Maker, go to church and pray.’

And when Aunty Cora finish about Hartford, she get up and show Peppy the things she carry back from Foreign. She show Peppy the pictures she take, the places she go, church, entertainment parks, zoo, Aunty Cora tell her how the snakes in America as wide as her bathtub, and as long as the entire rope of tobacco down the shop. She show Peppy the things she carry back for herself, curtains and bedspreads and lamps and lampshades and the weak rum, and she give Peppy the bag Gwennie send with food and clothes for the children. Peppy tell her Aunty Cora about school, about the new friends she meet, about Rudi’s two friends Martel and Percy, about Rudi’s school where him learn folk dance, and how the two of them do plenty things together. And throughout the whole time, not a word about coming back to New Green mention.

Peppy spend the Saturday with Aunty Cora and part of the Sunday. Sunday evening, she pick up herself and jump on the evening bus heading back to Porous. Aunty Cora never ask Peppy when she coming back, she only stand up at the verandah gate and watch Peppy as she turn down the hill, the glass of rum she have, swirling round and round in her hand. She never even move when she couldn’t see Peppy anymore. She just turn the glass to her head and suck down the rum. Little bit run down her chin, Aunty Cora pick up her frock tail and wipe her mouth-corner, clean.

III

It usually take Peppy about thirty minutes to walk home from school each evening. And as she never have plenty friends living around her way, she walk by herself, cars and buses and trucks passing her by the roadside, school children in front and behind her, her mind occupied with the upcoming trip. Rudi just get another letter from the mother, and she send with it plenty forms, some affidavits of support, others just plain application and medical forms. She send money too, for passport pictures and physical examinations. Last week, Rudi ask her to bring Jeff and Rosa to the photography studio. Time soon come to leave, him tell her, while handing out the money.

And she remember feeling kind of glad about it, but also kind of cautious. She mention it to friends at school, but never with any extra eagerness, for things have a way to not always turn out quite the way one would want them. Peppy talk about in length to Jasmine though, for Jasmine travel plenty since her mother is a higgler woman, travelling to Miami and New York two and three times a month, so she can buy sneakers and jeans and sweat-shirt and pants and blender and pressure-cooker and sell them in the market at more bargainable prices. Since she the oldest, sometimes Jasmine travel with her.

And Jasmine tell her, ‘Yes, man, Peppy, you going to have a nice time,’ in her twang voice, for even though she only been to America three times, staying no more than five days the longest, Jasmine have a permanent Foreign accent. ‘And the best thing,’ Jasmine tell her, ‘is you don’t wear uniforms to school. You wear any Jesus Christ thing you feel. Even high heels and tube top.’ Jasmine eyes were twinkling when she say it. ‘You can burn your green tunic and white blouses before you leave.’

‘So I couldn’t even wear me uniform even if I wanted to?’ Peppy ask her friend out the corner of her mouth, for is not that her closet empty, but she don’t change shoes once a week like Jasmine. Furthermore that would mean her mother will have to buy her school clothes for is only yard clothes and church clothes she have plenty, not much going out clothes.

Jasmine laugh out loud. ‘Gal, you mad! Then you know what,’ Jasmine say to her after a pause in her sing-song Foreign twang, ‘you can eat bubble gum and sweetie in the classes.’

‘You lie!’ Horror form on Peppy’s face, her eyes roll over.

Jasmine kiss her teeth. The two of them were outside on the grass behind the classroom one mid-afternoon break time. Jasmine nod her head. ‘Yup! I went with my cousin up to her school. The children even rude to the teacher sometimes. You know how we have to stand up and say good morning every time a teacher come inside our class? Well, is not so over there, the children sit down on them tail same way and continue talking to one another.’ Jasmine shake her head slow from side to side now. Scorn cause her mouth to turn up.

‘Them don’t even have devotion or chapel. Even in elementary school, them don’t have lunch or evening time prayers. That’s why me mother say,’ Jasmine turn to Peppy, her face round and pixieish, ‘that she’d want me finish high school out here, for some of the public schools over there no damn good.’

Peppy sigh plenty. All of a sudden the schools in America don’t sound pretty to her a tall. She wonder if her mother know about these things or even Rudi, if Aunty Cora know the children over there don’t even pray before them eat. And these things cause Peppy plenty thinking, for is not only her mother she going to have to learn to live with, or even her brother and sisters, but the children at school over there who if them don’t even fear teachers, how them going to fear God?

And as Peppy continue on walking, she think about how even during her classes, she find herself gazing through the window near her seat, thinking about winter clothes. For she see it in magazines and plenty books, and Aunty Cora did mention how the people have to dress up in big hats and warm, long coats and even tall boots so as to walk through ice and snow. Even fingers and throat and sometime ears have to cover-up, Aunty Cora did say. And especially with how she can barely keep on her whole slip and girdle for them feel too damn uncomfortable, she don’t know how she would manage wearing so many clothes day-in and day-out during winter.

And so Peppy’s mind and concentration would often spend so much time on Foreign that even when her teacher, Mrs Haywood, call out her name, and tell her to answer the question she just ask, the other students would start-up laughing for them know Peppy wasn’t paying attention. And when Mrs Haywood see that she can’t answer the question, she tell Peppy to go and stand up at the back of the class and turn her face to the wall corner.

The only time she started thinking seriously about living with the mother though was when she was down at Grandma spending time. Grandma send word to Rudi that she long to see the rest of her grandchildren, especially the baby, Rosa. And so Rudi send Peppy with Rosa the Friday evening.

And the first thing that reach her ears all the way out the gate when she jump off the bus with Rosa was Grandma’s mouth. She wasn’t sure whether or not she should go in or wait outside till Grandma finish, for Grandma’s temper don’t easily change when she cursing. But she go on in nevertheless, dragging Rosa behind her. She did have to take away the two purple roses Rosa have squeezed up in her hand, slap her on her fingers and then throw away the roses behind the house, over the fence where cows eat the wild grass, for Grandma is a woman don’t like people, especially pickney, touch-touch and pick-pick her flowers. She love to cut them and put them on her centre table, next to the old pump organ and the blue velvety-looking settee that still have the plastic on it and that she don’t allow any of her grandchildren to sit down on, unless them tidy for the evening, and the black-and-white television her son Samuel send her from Connecticut, that she dust every day and don’t turn on for longer than one hour each evening, and two on Sundays for Billy Graham’s special broadcast.

Grandma didn’t even turn the white of her eyes to look at either she or Rosa as them walk through the verandah, through the living room and into the kitchen, where she stand up over the oil stove, cooking dinner and cursing Dave who was sitting down on the floor in the doorway, not paying her any mind. Nothing hurt Grandma more than when she cursing you and you not paying her any mind.

‘I know you break me nice-nice dishes out of damn bad mind,’ Grandma was telling Dave, as Peppy and Rosa take a seat around the kitchen table already set for dinner. ‘I know is because I tell you not to leave the house, why you break me nice dishes. I notice too,’ Grandma push up her cat-like spectacles that was foggy with the steam from her pot, up on her nose, ‘that whenever your Grandpa talk to you, you act like you don’t hear him, and you don’t do as him tell you. The other day him ask you to tie out the cow with the calf, and after the poor man come home tired, him still have to get up and go tie out the cow. And all you do after school finish is sit down on your tail and don’t lift straw.’

Grandma stop, catch her breath and turn around to look at Peppy and Rosa. ‘How you do me babies. Look how you turn into big woman, Rosa!’ Then she turn right back around to Dave and continue to curse, her voice changing only slightly. ‘But I know what I going to do. That day when all of you must go to the airport, I allow you to go on. But when everybody else ready to board the plane, you can’t put your blasted foot nowhere for I done tear up all your papers.’

And after she say so, Grandma get response, for Dave look up at her for the first time, face tight, eyes shifting round. And when Grandma see him look up, she stop the cursing for she know she get him right where she want him.

Grandma turn back to Peppy and call the baby over to her, then she pull up a chair and sit down, asking Peppy to help serve the dinner for her feet starting to hurt. Dave get up from where him was sitting and grunt out ‘howdy’ to Peppy, then him pinch Rosa’s two round cheeks, and walk through the kitchen on his way out to the verandah. Him was almost six feet tall. Grandma say him is the dead stamp of Grandpa’s side of family, long and narrow with big knee caps.

Peppy never like Dave much, at least not anymore than she like Jeff. Them talk, but them don’t really talk. As long as she live she not going forget how them beat her up and tear up her dolly, Rose.

As Peppy was serving out the dinner, Grandma say to her, voice sharp, ‘Take care of the papers and the passports. As a matter of fact, tell Rudi to bring them down here. For if Walter see them, you can kiss Foreign ta-ta. That man!’ Grandma pause and shake her head, looking off into the distance. ‘All I can say is I hope Gwennie don’t take damn careless and send for him, for that would be trouble on top of trouble and the Lord knows she have enough. That poor child meet it in truth.

‘I know you and Gwennie will get on,’ Grandma continue on, ‘for you quiet just like she, and you industrious, you easy to get on with. But she going to have trouble with Dave and even Del.’ Grandma hand Peppy a plate of food, and Peppy put it on the table. ‘Del quiet too, but is a different quiet. Quiet enough to deafen you. She and Dave give me and your Grandpa a damn tough time, but is me grandchildren. If them want a place to sleep, I have to give them place. But you and Rudi will be big help to your Mama.’

Peppy try to picture her mother’s face, but she couldn’t remember more than her eyes, brownish-greenish, the colour of leaves when night coming down. She was light skinned, brown like Grandpa’s side of family. Jeff and Dave too. Only thing them have light-brown eyes, same colour as them hair. Del and Rudi dark like Grandma’s side of family, Rosa and Peppy in between. She wonder if she and her mother going to really get on as Grandma say, or if it going to be more like what Aunty Cora predict, that the two have to get to know one another first. She wonder if Rudi going to be different around the mother. Right now him don’t talk about her much, but she wonder if that would change. If him would take the mother in confidence, tell her some of the things him used to only tell she, Peppy. She wonder if she and Rudi would always remain close too. But as Peppy think about it more and more, that evening as she was walking home, a funny feeling in her belly tell her things going to be different. And so she try push away the feeling, for she never want to think about it.

As for Walter, well, Peppy sigh. She don’t really know. Him alright, she suppose. Most times she just feel sorry for him though. For when him don’t quarrel and curse, him just quiet and sad-looking. When him come home, just him alone sit down and watch the seven-thirty news with Brenton Hall. Sometimes him eat the little dinner Rudi leave cover-up for him in the kitchen. Sometimes him don’t eat a tall. Other times him just take one or two mouthfuls, then call Jeff to come and finish the rest.

Nowadays she hear him pacing around in his room, sighing plenty, two and three o’ clock in the morning. She know Rudi hear it too, for his breathing not as deep and even. Sometime she ask him, ‘Rudi, what is wrong with him, think him going crazy?’

But Rudi only kiss his teeth and grunt out, ‘Cho, don’t pay him any mind, just his sins pinching him.’

And although a chuckle form itself around Peppy’s mouth corner, she know Rudi not serious. She know him wonder the same thing as she. She know Jeff wonder it too, even if Rosa too young to understand. She imagine Walter must miss them mother and must be going through a damn rough time. She can’t imagine it being easy when the woman you love pick up herself and leave you alone a tall, a tall.