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Rebecca and Amy
A major ramification of Amy’s deafness is that she misses out on thousands of hours of peripheral conversations, not only the ones John and I have, but also most of the conversations in the hearing world. John has gained a lot of knowledge indirectly by overhearing conversations on filing income tax returns, mortgage rates, applying for a job, investing money, gardening, repairing a car, fixing a broken toilet, etc. While Amy has normal intelligence, her worldly knowledge is far below that of hearing kids her age because of her inability to hear casual conversations. To make matters worse, many hearing people do not make any effort to speak directly to her, assuming she can’t understand, so why bother.
Mother told me I have a dentist appointment today. Basically, I don’t want to go as my teeth are just fine and perfect! I don’t have teeth like John had. He wore braces. He looked like a monster. I mocked at him. I gave him a monster facial expression with teeth wide open at the same time doing the Frankenstein walks!
John decided to do his monster face back to me. Saying that’s what I looked like. Mother told us stop it or you will be late for dentist appointment. I told Mother that I want John to take me to the dentist. John agreed as he wants to drive around.
The dentist had a very small waiting room which was an an ugly light green. John told the front desk that I had an appointment today.
Mother had told me all the dentist would do is clean my teeth, but when I was in the small room with the dentist, he did other things to my teeth. I did not know what he was doing. He told me nothing. I was scared, confused, and crying by the time he finished. When I returned to the waiting room, John saw me crying and said, “What is the matter?”
I tried to tell John what the dentist had done, but he could not understand me. I kept saying, “The dentist hurt me. I don’t know why.”
John got mad. He told the lady at the desk, “I need to see the dentist now. I want to know what he did to make my sister cry.”
When Dr. Blackburn came out in a few minutes, John asked him, “What did you do to Amy?”
The dentist said, “Nothing.”
John said, “Amy doesn’t cry about nothing. What did you do to her?”
The dentist then told John, “I found a small cavity in one of her upper molars, and I had time available, so I decided to fill it. When I was filling her tooth, Amy seemed upset, but I did not hurt her.”
John told Dr. Blackburn, “I’m not happy how you treated Amy. You should have told her what you were doing. No wonder she was scared when you were jamming needles in her mouth and drilling her tooth.”
The dentist mumbled, “I’m sorry.”
When John knew I was not physically abused, he signed, “Get in the car, Amy, and stop crying. All you had was a cavity.”
Ha! But at least he cared enough to ask the dentist.
Later, when John told Mother what happened, she was mad. She had chosen Dr. Blackburn for our dentist because he was used to working on disabled patients. Mother called Dr. Blackburn and said, “Why didn’t you explain to Amy what you were going to do?”
Dr. Blackburn said, “I didn’t think she would understand, so I didn’t tell her anything.”
Then Mother was really mad. She said, “Amy may not be able to read your lips, but she’s deaf, not stupid. You could have written on a piece of paper what you were going to do. Or showed her the x-ray and gestured what you planned to do. You could have asked her brother to explain to her what was going to happen. I can’t believe you did this. She was really scared.”
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Blackburn told Mother. “I’ve never had a deaf patient. I didn’t know what to do.”
Other deaf people have had medical procedures without knowing what they were, just like what happened to me at the dentist. I heard of a deaf couple who gave birth to a beautiful baby through C-section. The parents of the daughter told the doctor to sterilize their daughter because they did not want her to have more deaf children. This was done without their daughter’s knowledge or consent. After several years, the deaf couple tried to have a second child but could not conceive. When they returned to their doctor, he told them, “You were sterilized at your parents’ request.” Imagine their shock.
Some hearing people think that Deaf people can’t make a complex decision or understand the issues involved. That is what happened to me at the dentist’s office. All I saw was a big needle and some odd tools. Gosh! I thought. What the heck is the dentist doing to my perfect teeth? The dentist should have told me or asked my brother to explain about the cavity to me.