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I perceived red light, and heat. There was a burning in my side, my leg, my back. My chest burned with each breath. Surely I hadn’t been condemned? Faced the Final Judgment, and been found wanting? I begged for a chance at redemption, to defend my good character. I struggled to escape, to pray for salvation, but strong arms held me down. Demonic arms restrained me as I thrashed about.
“It’s all right, calm down, you’re safe. Shhh...” the demonic voice wasn’t what I expected; this was soft and sweet, with a slight hint of Ireland to it. The demonic arms resolved into soft hands, gently holding me. As my head cleared, I realized the red light was the bright sun on my closed eyelids; gingerly, I opened them.
I immediately shut them again. The sunlight burned into my brain with a white heat. I tried to speak, but a raspy croak came out. “Would you care for a sip of tea?” The soft brogue turned the word into tay. I nodded. “All right, here’s a spoonful.” Supporting my head from behind, she brought the spoon to my lips, so I could sip the warm liquid. It felt wonderful. “You like that, do you? Well, here’s some more. Not too much now, you’ve not had much these few weeks.”
Weeks? How long had I been here? Where was here? I opened my eyes a bit, then gradually got them to stay open. I was sitting in a brightly-lit room with green curtains at the window. The bed had a brass bedstead and was roomy enough for two. Seated next to me was a figure of radiant beauty- large green eyes, the color of emeralds, sparked in an oval face crowned with long, black hair. She wore it loose about her shoulders, and it draped around the housecoat she was wearing like a mantle. Her skin was ivory, with full, sensuous lips. But those eyes- I found myself staring into them, lost in their depths. The more I struggled to see into them, the deeper they seemed to go. Like a mountain pool, deep and clear. I felt drawn into them, deeper and deeper and...
When I woke, it was late afternoon judging by the lack of sunlight in the room. I could hear conversation somewhere in the house, two women from the sound of it. I called out, “Hello? Is someone there?” The conversation stopped, and the angel with the tea reappeared. She had changed into a simple gingham dress in blue, and her hair was done up in a bun on the back of her head. I thought it looked better down, but I couldn’t help notice the gracefulness of her neck, the way it gently sloped down to her shoulder, the slightness of her collarbones, and the swell of her-
I abruptly stopped my train of thought as being a fairly unproductive area of observation. She noticed my sudden change of focus, and smiled slyly- I had the distinct impression she knew exactly what I had been thinking, and I shifted nervously under her gaze.
“And how are you feeling now, Mr. Glenn?” Her use of my name caught me by surprise, and it showed. “Oh, don’t be getting upset now, your friends told me who you are and what you’re doing. Or do I look to you like the kind of woman who brings strange men into her house all the time?” The words were aggressive, but the tone was light, playful.
“I’m sorry, you have me at a disadvantage. I don’t know who you are, or where I am, or what’s happened to my colleagues...I’ve important work to do and I need-”
She cut me off, “You need to rest, at least that’s what the doctor tells us. As to where you are, you’re in the house of Widow O’Neal, near Arlington. Your friends brought you here a fortnight ago, at Death’s door- fitting I suppose,” she gave a sad smile.
“Please give Widow O’Neal my thanks.” I croaked. “May I learn your name?”
The emeralds sparkled again. “Widow O’Neal, to be sure.”
She wasn’t much older than me, if at all. “A widow?”
She nodded, smiling again. Everything seemed to be a source of amusement to her. “Twice.”
“Twice?”
“Ah, don’t be so shocked now, my first husband- bless his soul!- was an old man who was my father’s friend; he’d buried his own dear wife years before and had no-one to care for him. He died soon after we were married, leaving me his property when he went. We were only married a matter of months, and him being bedridden most of that time...my second husband was a distant cousin from Ireland, he’d come over after the family was kicked off their land by the English lord who owned it. Try to understand that- it was their land, they’d been on it for a hundred years, but an English lord owned it.” She shook her head and continued, “He’d planned to marry a local girl, but with no land of his own he couldn’t do it. So he came over here. I needed someone to work the land, he needed a place of his own, so we decided to marry.”
“What happened to him?”
“I’m getting to it, just you calm down.” She was enjoying having an audience. “He was a bit of a daft man in a lot of ways. A good man, but a bit thick at times. We were putting a tin roof on the barn when the clouds rolled in. I told him a storm was coming, but he wouldn’t listen- said we had hours yet. I tried to tell him storms move quicker here, but ‘storms is storms’ he said, and so he stayed out in it. It was a big thunderstorm, with great balls of hail- one knocked him in the head and he fell off the roof. As I said, a bit thick.” She smiled, but there was a hint of sadness.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t actually know what to say. I had thought Sarah to be forthright, but this woman made her look reserved! Her manner suggested we were old friends, despite my having met her but hours before.
“Ah, don’t be. I didn’t love him- I’m sad that he died, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t mourn him as I would someone I cared deeply for.”
Something she had said earlier still nagged at me. “You said it was fitting I was at Death’s door?”
She laughed again, the notes sounding musical. “Your ears must still be stuffed up. I said you looked like you were at Death’s door when they brought you here- I’ve had two men leave here as corpses, so what was one more?” She leaned down and smoothed the hair on my forehead. Her touch was soft and-oddly- comforting. “But, you had a good, strong heart and the bullets hadn’t hit anything vital. Your ribs-” she moved her hand under the blankets toward my side, but I stopped her, and she pulled back her hand with a laugh. “All right, I was just saying your ribs did their job and protected you. No need to act so formal, Mr. Glenn,” she laughed, “it’s not like we’re not well-acquainted.”
I shivered involuntarily. “What does that mean, exactly?”
“What it means, exactly,” she said, mimicking my tone, “is who do you think has been tending to you these last few weeks? We’ve been sleeping together since they brought you to me.”
“We have?”
“Of course we have. You’re in my bedchamber, in my bed. Sure and I wasn’t going to sleep on the floor now, and you couldn’t be left alone at first, so we’ve been sharing a bed for a fortnight. And there’s other things...”
“Other things?”
“Well now, you’re a bit thick too it seems. You needed to be fed, and bathed, and your dressings changed, and helped with your-”
I cut in. “I think I understand. You- you did all of that?” She nodded. “My sincere gratitude, but I admit, I’m a bit puzzled- a bit, well, surprised that you would have had to take all of that on.”
She smiled again, it was bewitching. “You were brought to me, barely alive. Your friends, Joshua and Sarah, were beside themselves. I’ve nursed people before- my own mother before she died, my first husband, and my second husband- rest his soul- lingered for a week before he finally died. I know what a body needs when it’s in that state, and I know that you had no one to do it for you. It wouldn’t have been entirely proper for Sarah to do these things, her being married to Joshua and him being here, and you likely wouldn’t have been too comfortable with it, so the easy choice was for me to do it.”
I still felt a bit embarrassed by the whole affair. “Thank you,” I said stiffly.
“Oh, come now! You’re not the first man I’ve shared a bed with, and it’s not like you were in any kind of condition to behave inappropriately. As for...the rest of it, shall we say, well now you were unconscious and delirious most of the time, so there’s nothing to worry about. Now that you’re awake, you can take care of yourself.” She paused and her eyes danced. “Unless, of course, you’ll be needing me to continue,” she teased. Before I could respond, before I could even think of a response, she bent down abruptly and kissed my forehead, then bounded off to the door. “I’ll just go and make some dinner for you, if you’re up for it. Meanwhile, I’ve got someone who wants to see you.” She stepped out of the room and said something I couldn’t catch. Moments later, Sarah walked in.
It was so good to see her, my chest swelled with feeling, while her eyes teared up and she choked back a sob. “Oh, Matt, thank God you’re alive!” She crossed the room and sat in the chair next to me, grabbing my hand as she did so. “Josh and I feared the worst, but Colleen’s been an absolute treasure.” I gathered that was the Widow O’Neal’s first name. “She never gave up hope, even when the doctor said there was nothing he could do for you. She just kept on feeding you and cleaning you and keeping you comfortable. She kept our spirits up as well.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“After you passed out?” I nodded. “We thought you were done for, but Josh carried you to the carriage and rode off ahead to find help. He let the policeman go, and we made sure that he would see to the others...” She didn’t need to clarify that remark. “We rode for about an hour, but we went west- away from the town. We ended up here, at this house, and Josh didn’t think you could go any longer- we brought you inside and then he and Colleen left to find the doctor. I was so worried, you looked pale and you just kept repeating McDowell over and over.”
I interrupted, “Did she hear?”
Sarah nodded. “Everything. She asked who McDowell was, and you repeated the entire message, you wouldn’t stop. It’s all right though, Colleen is on your side. She suggested Josh leave for Richmond- said that if the message was so important you wouldn’t stop repeating it, even near death, that he better make sure it was delivered- that he owed it to you.”
“Did he?” I held my breath.
“Yes, he left the next morning and rode to the nearest station and caught the train for Richmond. He was gone about three days, then returned.”
I breathed again. “Well, that’s it then. We did our best.”
Sarah looked puzzled. “What do you mean, you got the information you needed, you delivered it- shouldn’t you be happy?”
I looked toward the window, the growing darkness. I could hear Colleen rustling in the kitchen, the smell of dinner wafting its way through the house. “We failed in our mission.”
She stood up. “How can you say that! All that we went through- you went through? And you say it was a failure?”
I looked at her, calmly, “Sarah, what do you suppose happened in Washington after we escaped?”
She thought for a moment. “They...maybe they realized you were spies?” I nodded. “And that you were privy to their meetings- oh!” It dawned on her. “That you know their plans! And you got away with them, so now they’ll change them and...oh, Matt, I’m so sorry. It will all be for nothing.” She hid her face in her hands and wept.
“Maybe not. Maybe they’ll realize we’re serious about wanting independence, and willing to do what is necessary to achieve it. Maybe they’ll decide not to invade...at least we may have bought ourselves some time.”
“Do you really think so?”
I debated telling her the truth. Once, a lifetime ago, she had demanded honesty from me. She deserved it. “No,” I said softly. “I don’t think that will be the case at all.” I changed the subject. “Where’s Josh?”
She sniffed, “He went to Arlington for information, he’ll be back soon.”
Suddenly, I felt very tired, my eyes growing heavy. She kept talking, but I couldn’t really follow what she was saying; it didn’t seem to matter though. I had time to rest.
“Wake up Dear, time for some soup.” The voice was Colleen’s, she was gently lifting me to a sitting position, moving pillows to support me. That done, she began to feed me spoonfuls of soup.
“I can manage for myself,” I groused.
“Maybe,” she teased. “And maybe you can’t. Maybe you spill it all over my nice quilt. Maybe you get the mattress wet, and I don’t want to sleep in a wet bed all night.” I blinked at this. “That’s right, Dearest, we have to share this bed, so you’d best get used to the idea and let me feed you.” She changed her tone, more serious now, “Joshua’s returned, he needs to speak with you. I told him to wait until you’d had something to eat.” I made to interrupt, “No, I told him you’d do that, not eat because you wanted to talk. He agrees with me that you need your strength- so soup first, news after.”
Grudgingly, I ate the soup- it was actually quite tasty, chicken soup with garden vegetables, the broth rich and nourishing. If this is what I had been eating the last two weeks, it was no wonder I’d recovered. She wiped off my mouth, then left; Gordon entered the room almost immediately. “Matt! My God, it’s great to see you upright again.”
I smiled. “It’s good to see you too, thanks for getting me out of there.”
He shrugged, “All in a day’s work.” Serious now, he handed me a letter. “This is from the General. Before you open it, I’ve got bad news- the Yankees have occupied Alexandria.” I looked up, shocked. “They’ve been skirmishing up and down the border for a while now, but they finally moved a large body of troops into the city. We think they’ll be headed here next. We need to get you back to Richmond, or at least someplace safer- if you’re up to it, we can get you to the train tomorrow.”
“Up to it or not, I don’t see that we have a choice.” I paused. “Josh, if the Federals are moving into Virginia, are we moving to engage?” He indicated he had no idea. “Do you suppose they’re looking for us still?”
“That’s the other part of the bad news- according to some of the locals, there are wanted posters being distributed nearby, asking anyone with information about a man with gunshot wounds to contact the authorities. I expect that means they’re looking for you.”
“Fine- then we leave tomorrow.” He hesitated. “I know- Colleen. What is it with this trip that we keep collecting people?” He smiled. “We’ll have to talk to her about it, we can’t force her to come with us, but she needs to understand the risk she runs by staying here.” I shook my head. “What news from General Lee?”
Gordon hemmed and hawed and tried to avoid answering the question, but I demanded an answer. “He’s not happy,” he said at last. “He doesn’t blame us- exactly- but he questions some of the decisions we made.” By ‘we’, I assumed he meant ‘me.’
“What, specifically?”
“It’s in the letter.” Gordon pointed. “I’ll leave you to read it while I talk to Colleen”
As he left the room, I broke the seal, and opened the letter.
Major Glenn,
I regret deeply to learn of your injuries. I hope they are not as severe as the doctors believe, and that you will return to duty soon. We have much work to do, and we will all need to work harder to achieve our goals.
I am somewhat dismayed by the reports from Lt.Col. Gordon, to wit your encounters with Mr. Casey and the agents from the North, but also regarding your decision to take on the additional passengers. I trust in your judgment that this was an appropriate thing to do under the circumstances, but it is not what I expected from this mission.
I must also regretfully inform you that the information Lt.Col. Gordon relayed to us is of no further value; the information itself exceeded my expectations greatly, but due to the manner of your escape and the fact that you were identified as Confederate agents, we must assume the enemy will now change his plans. I am very sorry to bring this to your attention, especially in light of the heroic circumstances under which you obtained it, but I am certain you will understand this to be the most likely outcome.
I pray for your speedy recovery and return to duty. I have further tasks for your talents, if you wish to continue. Please send me a report on your activities at your earliest convenience.
He closed the letter with the usual salutations, and his signature. I felt defeated by his tone- the one thing I didn’t wish to do was disappoint the General, but I felt as though I had done so. Maybe he’d soften his tone when he received my report; if not, he could always reassign me. After this mission, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
“Oh, Lord, are you in here grousing again?” Colleen had reappeared. “I told Joshua not to upset you, but he wouldn’t listen to me. So, I gather you’re trying to do your best not to let me go?” I started to protest, but she cut me off. “Now, now- you’ve dreamed up this pretext of Yankee invasion just to drag me along with you to Richmond. Well, I don’t think I need to go quite that far, but yes, I think a trip south might be nice, and you still need looking after. Now, let me get into my nightclothes and we can settle in for the evening.”
Not much later, we were laying in bed together- this was rare enough an occurrence in my life to still be a novelty. She had snuggled up next to me, closer than I felt was truly necessary, and had turned toward me so we could talk- and talk, we did. We talked for hours, it seemed, about everything and nothing. Big matters and mundane matters. We talked about Richmond, and my work, and what I would do- my frustration with the way things had turned out. We talked about settling her into a new place, with Sarah, nearby. We talked until we were both hoarse, and then settled down to sleep. She shifted so she was facing me, and threw her arm across my chest. I lay on my back, listening to her breathe, smelling the faint perfume she wore. I went over the events of the last week, and of today, and of tomorrow. I went over our conversation, and was struck to realize that of all the things we had talked about, we had never spoken singly- of our own plans, or of things we wished to accomplish on our own. We spoke of a future which implicitly involved each other- nothing definite, but a shared sense that we wanted to explore the possibility of a future. It was a start.
The next day was a flurry of activity as Gordon and Sarah and Colleen packed. I tried getting out of bed and standing, which proved to be as much as I could manage. By noon, they were packed and loaded and I was able to walk about three feet before collapsing; clearly, I still needed help.
Gordon and Sarah carried me outside to the carriage where Colleen was waiting. She would drive me to the station and go with me to Richmond, while Gordon drove Colleen’s wagon with her belongings. I was weaker than I thought, and the trip was very difficult for me. A porter helped me to our car and deposited me on the bench seat, while Colleen saw to the loading of the wagon and our effects before joining me in the car. I could tell she wanted to talk, but I wasn’t up to it and she left me alone; I was asleep before we pulled out of the station.
Arriving in Richmond, we returned to the same hotel where Gordon and I had started our journey less than a month prior. The desk clerk took one look at my weakened appearance and hurried from behind the counter. “My word, you look dreadful, Sir. May I call for someone to assist you?”
“I can make it to my room,” I said, before falling to the floor.
“You are a stubborn one.” The angel was chiding me again, relating my many shortcomings. I opened my eyes to see Colleen smiling at me from a chair near the window. “How are you feeling?”
I tried to sit up, but failed. “Not too bad,” I lied.
“You’re also a bad liar,” she observed. “You've been unconscious for an hour. Fortunately, you didn't tear open any of your wounds- this time. Would you like to try again, or will you behave reasonably and let me help you?” She fixed her green eyes on me, daring me to challenge her. I glared in return. She looked at the wall, where a clock hung, the pendulum swinging back and forth steadily. “You’ll be having a visitor shortly,” she offered.
I was confused. “A visitor? Who knows I’m back in Richmond?”
She smiled sweetly, “Your General Lee, of course.”
That got me up. “What! How does he know I’m here?”
“Obviously someone told him.”
“Who told him- wait, don’t tell me.” The green eyes danced. “You sent him a message. Why?” I groaned, and fell back onto the pillows.
“You need to recover your strength, if you’re going to heal. The only way to do that is for you to relax and stop worrying- well, you won’t do that until you make your report. So, I sent General Lee a note informing him of your arrival and how, medically, it would be advisable if he could take your report sooner rather than later, and he sent back a note saying he’d be here at four, sharp. It’s half-past three now.”
We argued, a short, sharp affair which I lost, about my getting up and dressed. She agreed to shave me and help me into a clean shirt, but that was the extent of her consolations. At four o’clock, there was a knock on the door. My stomach twisted in knots as she got up to answer it. “General Lee, I trust?”
A familiar voice responded. “Good afternoon, madam, I am Robert Lee, your humble servant, and you are, I presume, Mrs. Colleen O’Neal?” The introductions made, she escorted the general into the room.
“General Lee, I imagine you’ll wish to discuss matters with Major Glenn in private.” It was odd hearing her refer to me by my rank- usually it was ‘Dear’ or ‘Dearest’. “But for health reasons, I wish to remain close; may I retire to the balcony?”
“Of course, dear lady, that is perfectly fine and thank you for your gracious understanding of our need to speak privately.” She smiled and gracefully exited the room, my gaze lingering on her as she left.
Lee seated himself in the chair so recently vacated by Colleen; it wasn’t a fair trade in my book. “It was good of you to come, General, I appreciate how busy you are.”
Lee looked at me closely for a long moment before he answered. “It was necessary Matthew.” His use of my first name told me that his displeasure wasn’t directed at me. “I need to understand what went wrong. There may be...” he paused, “Other forces at play here, to which we are blind. I need you to tell me everything that happened after you left Richmond. Leave no detail out, no matter how inconsequential...”
So I told him. I told him of our ride to Harpers Ferry, of our meeting with Casey, the arrival of the agents. Of the meeting with Davis, the use of the Washington Territory seals. I talked at length of Sarah, and Gordon, and how they came to be a couple. It took an hour, but I told him everything. “I woke up in Widow O’Neal’s house, and caught the first train I could back here to report,” I concluded.
Lee nodded grimly. “It is as I feared. There is a spy ring here in Richmond, very highly placed. I had suspected that my orders were being intercepted, so I warned you away from the direct routes- but it is clear to me that those orders were intercepted, as well. This is most distressing, Matthew- our deepest secrets are privy to the enemy’s eyes.”
I looked at Lee for a moment while I considered the question on my mind. “Sir, those men- we believed they were Pinkertons, but they made the same moves I would, were in all the places I considered as safe. They mirrored my moves exactly- tell me, Sir, there were other agents in Federal service, weren’t there?”
Lee stood and paced impatiently. “Yes,” he offered at last. “There were three sets of agents, plus two who worked alone- you and one other. I know one pair came South, I had heard another pair stayed North, and the third pair...” he shrugged. “I have no idea what came of them. Nor the other solitary agent. Someday, I’ll explain the system to you- it was General Scott’s invention- but for now let us concern ourselves with our next moves. I was disappointed that your hard work was wasted by the nature of your escape, but I am glad you returned. We have dealt the enemy a setback and bought more time to prepare. McDowell’s plan revealed some insights into his mind, and we should be able to use that to ready our forces for his next blow. I have information from a new source which will help us keep a close eye on McDowell and the Federals, so you needn’t concern yourself with that. For now, I want you to focus on resting- I’ve great need of your talents here, looking for the spymaster.”
He sat down in the chair and leaned closer. “Tell me, what is your assessment of Gordon? I must admit to being a bit dismayed at his- shall we say- impulsiveness, especially with regard to his choice of bride. Marrying a Unionist, delivering her father to the North...”
“Sir,” I paused, the strain of the interview beginning to wear on me, “Sir, in my opinion Gordon’s actions enhanced the effectiveness of our mission. Sarah provided us with excellent cover for the mission, and were we not pitched against trained agents, we should have met with singular success. As for her politics, she is hardly a Unionist- she’s mountain folk, like me,” I reminded him. “Richmond hasn’t distinguished itself with concern for the western counties, but that doesn’t mean they’ll cleave to the Union. She supports Gordon, and therefore his cause. She’ll do nothing which would bring him harm. The same goes for her father and brother, despite their location in the Union. Besides, Maryland isn’t a hotbed of Union sentiment.” Lee smiled at this. “If it wasn’t for Gordon and Sarah,” I went on, “I wouldn’t be here, now. If my service is deemed of value by you, then you have them to thank for it.”
Lee nodded. “Very well, I accept your assessment. What are your thoughts on keeping him close by? I thought perhaps as a liaison between General Beaureguard's forces in the field and us here at headquarters, so you could call on him for assistance?”
“I think that’s a very good plan Sir, especially tracking the spymaster.” I began to feel very drowsy. “We also need to find a place for Colleen- excuse me, the Widow O’Neal to stay, now that she has had to abandon her home.”
“Indeed. Well, see to it if you can from here; if you need my help, then send a messenger. But don’t tire yourself, Major- it is essential that you return to duty as soon as possible, if we are to catch this spy.” With that admonishment, he rose and walked to the balcony. “Madam, I believe Major Glenn is in need of your assistance. I will take my leave of you now, and should you need anything you have but to ask. I thank you for your care of this man, please continue your ministrations- I need him back.”
Colleen curtsied slightly, and Lee bowed, kissing her hand as he did. He turned to me and nodded formally, then did something I’d never seen him do before.
He winked.
It was brief, but there, and it was a wonderfully human touch. With that, he was back to being the man I had known years ago, a lifetime ago, in Texas. I smiled, then slumped back against the pillows. Colleen resumed holding my hand, a look of concern etched in her brow. “Are you all right?”
I smiled, “Just tired.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. No, I’m not all right, but I will be. There’s a lot to do, and some of it I have to do myself. But some of it, I’ll need help. Gordon, Sarah...you.” I looked up at her to see tears veiling the emeralds. “That is, if you’re willing. You’ve done enough already, God knows. I understand if you’d rather not be involved...”
“Just stop, stop talking.” She was fighting back tears now. I wasn’t sure why she was upset, but I thought it was a good thing. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t willing to help.”
I clutched her hand in mine, her warmth spreading through me. I felt weak and cold and began shivering. “You’ve got a fever again,” she scolded, as she crawled into bed with me. “Lay still, let me warm you up.” She stroked my hair softly as she held me, the heat from her body chasing the chill from my spine.
“I don’t know what the future will hold, and I can’t promise anything. But I want you to stay with me while we find our way. Together,” I added, unnecessarily.
“I told you to stop talking.” She was firm now, and I stopped fighting. “If I didn’t think there was a possibility with you, I would’ve stayed in Arlington. Let’s get you well, then we can worry about the future. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Tonight, I’ll take care of you.”
It wasn’t love, or romance- not yet. We didn’t have anything but a mutual attraction of two lonely people, who saw the possibility of a future together. But it was a start. The greatest journeys often came from humble beginnings.