“SHE’S TELLING THE TRUTH.” MARK GLARED AT YONNIE as Priscilla ran out of the barn. Fury was a bitter taste in his mouth. “We weren’t doing anything wrong. We were having a private conversation.”
Yonnie shook his head and turned to the bishop. “It looked inappropriate to me. There’s no telling what would’ve happened if we hadn’t decided to walk in here.”
Mark took a step toward him, his hands balled into fists at his sides as his heart hammered against his rib cage. “Yonnie, nothing inappropriate would’ve happened if you hadn’t walked in. I would never take advantage of Priscilla that way. I’m more honorable than that, and you can trust me around Priscilla.” He nodded toward the barn exit. “You need to have faith in your dochder. She may have made mistakes in the past, but we’ve all had lapses in judgment. Stop using her past against her.”
While John’s expression remained impassive, Yonnie’s grave expression suddenly brightened with a strange gleam in his eyes.
Mark gritted his teeth as confusion and suspicion mixed with his burning anger. Rain beat a steady cadence on the barn roof above them.
Yonnie turned to the bishop. “Why don’t we take our discussion outside, John?”
“Ya.” John started for the door.
Yonnie leaned toward Mark and lowered his voice. “I suggest you remember who owns this farm. If you want to keep this job, you’ll mind your own business when it comes to my relationship with my family. Now, if you know what’s best for you, you’ll get back to work.”
Mark took a deep, shaky breath as Yonnie followed John out of the barn. Once his boss was gone, Mark turned toward a wall and kicked it with all his might. Pain exploded in his foot, and he hopped and grunted in response.
When he came to a stop, he leaned back against the wall and scrubbed his hand down his face as his thoughts spun.
What had just happened?
In less than an hour, he’d gone from being frustrated with Priscilla to longing to console her and take away all the pain her ex-boyfriend had caused her. And then he found himself caught up in holding her, touching her, and being close to her. And if Yonnie and John hadn’t walked in, he would’ve kissed her.
He groaned and stared up at the barn ceiling as thunder rolled. How could he have allowed himself to lose all control with her? What was it about Priscilla that brought out his most confusing and fervent emotions?
He padded over to the barn exit and looked out toward the doorway of another barn where Yonnie stood speaking to John out of the rain. His arms flailed about as if he were engrossed in a heated discussion. Was he complaining about Priscilla and calling her cruel names?
This is your fault! If you hadn’t held her in your arms and almost kissed her, this never would have happened.
The voice crept in from the back of Mark’s mind, leaving guilt and regret in its wake. He turned toward the house and fought the urge to walk in there and ask to speak to Priscilla alone to apologize.
But that would only make things worse for the two of them. He had to wait for the situation to defuse before he could speak to her. The plan was simple, but the idea of staying away from Priscilla felt like pure torture.
What was happening to him?
Stepping back into the barn, Mark picked up his pitchfork. Yonnie had told him to get to work, and he didn’t want to risk losing this job. As he began to muck the stalls, Priscilla’s words about how Trent had treated her echoed through his mind, causing him to work harder and faster. He had to burn off some steam before he drove himself crazy.
As he continued to work, the scars on Priscilla’s arm and the tears in her gorgeous eyes haunted him. He would do everything in his power to be the friend she deserved, no matter how she tried to reject him. He couldn’t give up on her. Her father and her
ex-boyfriend had failed her, but he would never fail her. No matter what the cost.
Priscilla jumped with a start as a clap of thunder ripped through the air. She pulled the last pair of her father’s trousers from the clothesline and placed them in the basket as the unexpected rainstorm continued to drum the roof and splatter on the porch. She’d have to hang the clothes on a line in the utility room.
When she heard footsteps, she turned and sucked in a deep breath as her father and the bishop came up on the porch. She gripped Ethan’s shirt in her hands and pressed her lips together. Now she’d learn her fate after the incident in the barn.
The strangely satisfied look displayed on her father’s face sent alarm slithering through her veins.
“We’d like to speak with you inside the haus, Priscilla.” Dat pointed to the door. “Now.”
“Ya, Dat.” She hurried inside to the utility room with the basket of clothes she’d have to deal with later. She peeked out the window and spotted Ethan sitting on the porch playing with a toy car. He looked so happy, so adjusted to this new life. But her decision to open her heart to Mark in the barn may have changed everything. She had to be strong now for Ethan’s sake.
She went into the family room, glad to hear her mother still at her sewing machine upstairs. Her father and the bishop stood by their wood-burning stove.
“I’ve discussed this at length with John, and we’ve decided you need to marry Mark.” Dat said the words as if they were mundane and not life changing, earth shattering.
“What?” Priscilla divided a look between her father and the bishop as her pulse galloped. Had she heard her father correctly? He expected her to marry Mark?
No, no, no, no! He was the last person she’d ever marry!
“You need to marry Mark,” Dat repeated. “Your behavior in the barn suggests that you and Mark have been involved in an intimate relationship for some time, and this is both sinful and disappointing. The only way to make this right is to marry him as soon as possible.” He turned to the bishop. “Right, John?”
“Ya.” John gave a curt nod. “You and Mark can decide on the wedding date. And there should be no more physical contact between you until you’re married.”
“But we haven’t had any—”
Dat shot Priscilla an icy glare, and she stopped speaking.
“It’s settled, then. You’ll marry him.” Dat turned to John. “Danki.”
John nodded. “I’m going to go talk to Mark.” Then he turned and disappeared through the front door.
“What’s going on?” Mamm came down the stairs, her dark eyes wide.
“John and I caught Priscilla and Mark kissing in the barn.” Dat folded his arms over his wide chest. “John and I spoke and agreed she should marry him as soon as possible.”
Mamm blinked, and her gaze settled on Priscilla. “Is that true? Were you kissing Mark?”
“No.” Priscilla grasped the edges of her apron, and she felt a surge of confidence that seemed to rise from deep within her battered soul. “It’s not true at all. We were talking, and he was sitting close to me. Dat has decided to use this as an excuse.” She glared at her father. “This is just what you wanted. You wanted me to find a husband, and since I haven’t, you arranged one for me. You want me to marry so I’m no longer an embarrassment.”
“Mark is perfect for you.” He gestured out the window. “He can have half of my business. I’ll give you both land and even build you a haus. You can live in the daadihaus until your new haus is built.”
Disgust roiled in Priscilla’s stomach as she studied her father. Dat is getting what he wants. And although Mark might do this to avoid being shunned, he won’t want to turn down every man’s dream—land, a successful business, and a haus.
Mamm stepped over and touched Priscilla’s arm. “Mark is a gut man, and he cares about you and Ethan. He will be a gut husband and gut provider.”
“That’s all that matters, right?” Priscilla yanked her arm away from her mother’s grasp. “No one cares how I feel or what I want.” She wagged a finger at her father. “It’s all about what’s best for you. Now everyone will see Priscilla as a gut woman. I’ve confessed my sins and I’m forgiven. And now I just have to legitimize mei sohn.”
“If you want to stay here, you need to marry him.” Dat barked the words at her. “If not, then you and Mark will be shunned for your inappropriate behavior. You both know we have a strict rule of no touching before marriage, and I can’t take another shunning in my family.”
Priscilla’s knees wobbled as she realized the truth. She was trapped in this situation. She had to do what her father and the bishop said. She couldn’t allow her father to evict her and Ethan. They’d have to go to a homeless shelter because she couldn’t ask anyone in the community—not even Laura—to take them in if she was shunned again. She had to succumb to their demands, even if it meant marrying a man she hadn’t chosen, a man who would never have chosen her. She had to make this work for her son’s sake.
Priscilla turned back to her father. “What makes you think Mark will agree to this?”
“Trust me,” Dat said, insistent. “He will.”
Mark’s arms and back ached as he set the pitchfork aside and started toward the barn exit. He had mucked all the stalls in record time. His stomach growled, indicating it was time for him to head home for supper, but he longed to stay and talk to Priscilla. He needed to know that she was okay, but he had to force himself to leave.
Tomorrow was Friday. Maybe her father would realize he’d been wrong about what he’d witnessed in the barn and would allow Mark to talk to Priscilla.
“Mark.” John Smucker appeared in the barn doorway. “I need to speak with you.”
“John, I didn’t realize you were still here.” Hope sparked within Mark. This was his chance to make things right! “I want to talk to you too. What you saw earlier wasn’t what it seemed. We were only talking, and I would never have tried to do anything inappropriate with Priscilla. She’s mei freind, and I care about her.”
“I realize that.” John fingered his long, graying beard. “It’s apparent how you feel about her, which is why you need to marry her.”
“Marry her?” Mark took a step back as if the words had punched him.
“Ya. The damage has been done, and only you can make things right.” John’s tone was even, despite the weight of his words. “It’s what’s best for her and the kind. Only you can repair her reputation.”
Renewed fury boiled through Mark’s veins. “Whose idea was it for Priscilla to marry me?”
John paused as if caught off guard by the question. “Well, Yonnie and I agreed on it.”
“Really?” Mark lifted his chin. “Did Yonnie suggest it to you?”
“That’s not important.”
“Ya, it is important.” Mark’s voice rose. “And rather than keeping this innocent incident to yourself and counseling Yonnie to do the same, you’re going to go along with what he wants?” He stared at the bishop for a few moments as the truth dawned on him. “Tell me you’re not blind. Tell me you see what’s really going on here, John. Yonnie treats Priscilla terribly, and he’s forcing her to marry me as some sort of punishment.”
John’s look became steely. “You’ve got it all wrong. Yonnie is a gut daed, and he’s only doing what’s right. Priscilla needs a stern hand because of her past behavior.”
“Priscilla’s sins were forgiven when she repented.”
John’s eyes narrowed as he studied Mark for a moment. “Mark, it’s obvious you care for Priscilla, which means you’ll do what needs to be done. If not, then you’ll both be shunned for the inappropriate and intimate behavior before marriage I saw with my own eyes. Besides, you’ve earned yourself quite a reputation with the young women in this community. I think this marriage will be gut for you too.”
“My reputation?” Mark exclaimed. “Are you serious?”
“Ya, I am. Everyone knows you enjoy the company of the maed in the community, and you’re nearing thirty. I think it would be a gut decision for you to finally settle down.” He paused. “It’s up to you what happens now. How would your dat feel if you were shunned?”
Mark’s throat constricted. He couldn’t allow the bishop and Yonnie to humiliate Priscilla again, but was he ready to get married?
“What’s your choice?” John asked.
“I’ll speak to Priscilla, and we’ll decide together.”
“Fine, then. But Yonnie and I have already spoken with her, and I believe she sees what’s right. I need to get home to mei fraa. I’m sure supper is ready.” John nodded and started toward the door. “Tell your dat hello for me.”
John disappeared from the barn, and Mark stilled as if his boots were glued to the barn floor.
Shock rippled through him as all his hopes and dreams dissolved. He felt as if he were dreaming. This couldn’t really be happening! How could his entire future be decided for him in a matter of a few hours? He felt as if he couldn’t breathe as the bishop’s words echoed through his mind. If he married Priscilla, he’d never build a house on his father’s farm. He’d never come home to his own kitchen, his own bedroom. He’d never have the freedom he’d envisioned in that little house he’d hoped to build next to Jamie’s. Instead, he would have a wife and a child to support, which meant he’d have to consider their wants and needs before his. Was he ready to be responsible for a family?
But if he wasn’t ready, then he and Priscilla would be shunned. Priscilla had already told him she wanted to leave the community, and another shunning would be just the catalyst to shove her away. His lungs constricted at the thought of her leaving their community forever.
Closing his eyes, he sent a fervent prayer up to God.
God, please lead me down the right path. I’m at a crossroads, and I’m so confused I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel like the world is closing in on me. I have to make the right decision or I could jeopardize the lives of two other people. I don’t want to force Priscilla to marry me, and I’m not sure I’m even ready to be married. But I also can’t stand the thought of losing her. Show me your will. Show me the way.
With a deep, shaky breath, he stepped out of the barn. The rain had stopped, but dark clouds still dotted the sky and the smell of rain remained in the air. He strode through the mud and up the back porch steps, and then he knocked on the storm door. The door opened and Yonnie stepped out on the porch.
“I thought you were gone,” Yonnie said. “It’s almost six.”
Mark jammed his hands in his pockets to stop himself from wiping the smug expression off his boss’s face.
Calm down! You don’t want to be shunned!
“I want to talk to Priscilla. Is she available?”
“She’s making supper with her mutter.” Yonnie lifted his chin. “What do you want to discuss?”
“You know what I want to discuss, Yonnie.” Mark fought to keep his voice calm despite his raging anger. “It’s about our future.”
“I’d like to discuss that with you, actually.” Yonnie nodded toward the barns. “If you agree to marry mei dochder, I’ll give you half my business, plus half my land, and I’ll build you any size haus you want.”
Mark pressed his lips together as his stomach soured.
This is bribery! This is more sinful than if I’d kissed his dochder in the barn!
“What do you think, Mark?” Yonnie held up his hands. “I think that’s a fair payment for marrying my dochder.”
“Priscilla can’t be bought and sold like one of your horses,” Mark said, seething as his entire body vibrated with sudden, white-hot anger. “I’m not going to force her to marry me. I’m going to let her make that decision.”
“Fine.” Yonnie pointed toward the door behind him. “Would you like to come in?”
“No.” Mark shook his head. “I’d like to speak to her out here. In private.”
“I’ll get her for you.”
Mark spun toward the porch railing and leaned forward on it while he waited. His thoughts were moving so fast that he felt queasy. There had to be a way to stop this ridiculous mandate. But how?
When the door clicked open, he glanced over his shoulder at Priscilla. She fingered her black apron as she gave him a shaky smile.
“Hi.” He stood up and faced her.
“Hi.” She pushed the ties of her prayer covering over her shoulder. “I guess the bishop spoke to you.”
“Ya.” He lifted his straw hat and pushed back his thick hair. “I wanted to talk to you about it in private. I think that if we talked to the bishop, we could—”
She put her finger to her lips as if to shush him and then pointed to the open windows behind her. “Kumm.” She reached for his arm and then pulled her hand back. “This way.”
He followed her down the porch steps, and then they walked side by side on the path leading to the daadihaus, the small, one- story brick house just past the empty swing set.
They walked up the porch steps, and she sank onto a glider and nodded toward the spot beside her.
“How are you?” he asked as he sat down and angled his body toward her.
She shrugged. “I guess I’m okay.”
“I’m sorry.” He heard the quaver in his own voice. “This is all my fault.”
“No, it’s not.” She shook her head. “It’s my fault.”
“No, if I hadn’t been kneeling on the barn floor so close to you, then we never would’ve wound up in this mess.”
She looked up at him, and her lower lip trembled. “No, mei dat would’ve found another way to make you marry me. He wants the stigma of his dochder’s illegitimate sohn taken off his family.”
Mark glowered and shook his head. “What if we go talk to the bishop? He’s always been a reasonable man. If we explain exactly what happened and I take the blame, then maybe he’ll change his mind.” He jammed a finger into his chest. “He can shun me since I’m the one who got too close.” And almost kissed you.
Her expression grew grave. “I have no choice. I’m trapped, and there’s no way out unless I want to be homeless. Mei dat won’t let me stay unless I marry you. I don’t have enough money saved to find a place to rent, and I can’t afford day care for Ethan if I have to work outside of school hours. You’re my only option for giving mei sohn a decent home. He’s innocent in all of this. He didn’t choose this life.” She looked out toward her father’s house. “I guess marrying you is better than being out on the street or living in a shelter.”
Mark flinched at her biting words, but then he worked to make his expression serene.
“I should have realized when I decided to come home that mei dat would punish me for sinning.” She looked over at him. “Would you rather go through with the marriage or be shunned?”
He frowned as disgust rolled through him. “I can’t allow your dat to throw you and Ethan out on the street, and I can’t stomach the idea of you both living in a shelter. What if I talk to Jamie and Laura? They both have plenty of room in their homes. What if you and Ethan lived there?”
She gave him a sad smile. “That’s sweet, but it would never work. I’d still be shunned, and so would you.”
“But isn’t that better than having to marry me?”
She sighed and turned away from him. “I think we’re both trapped unless you want to be shunned. But if you’re shunned, mei dat can’t pay you until the shunning is over.”
Mark snorted. “He’d probably fire me anyway. I’d have to go back home and work on mei dat’s farm.”
“But that’s not what you want.”
“I don’t want you and Ethan to be homeless. I don’t think we have a choice.”
They were silent for a moment, and he longed to hear her thoughts.
“What about your girlfriends?”
“Girlfriends?” He raised an eyebrow as he angled his body toward her again.
“You know.” She gave him a sardonic smile as she counted them off on her fingers. “Let’s see. Franey and Ruthann. And Sadie Liz seemed to really like you that day at the fabric store.”
“I’ve told you, they’re not my girlfriends.”
“Do they know that?”
“You sound like mei schweschdere.” He had to change the subject. “Priscilla, we can make this work if we have to. We’ve known each other our entire lives. Surely we can find a way to live together.”
“Ya.” She nodded. “I guess it could be worse. At least you’re not a stranger.”
Mark tried to pretend the insult didn’t cut him to the quick. “All right. I guess it’s settled, then.”
She sighed. “Ya, I guess so.”
“So.” Mark smiled. “Will you marry me?”
She rolled her eyes and then laughed, and he enjoyed the sound. “You already know the answer to that question.”
“Are you going to tell Ethan?”
She pursed her lips. “Ya, but I need to find the best way to tell him.”
“Now we need to meet with the bishop and pick a date, right?”
She nodded.
“We can go see him tomorrow after I get here in the morning.”
She nodded again, and then they stared at each other. Once again, he longed to know what she was thinking. Was she disappointed, scared, anxious? Did she care about him at all?
She stood. “I guess I should get inside and help serve supper.”
“Ya, and I need to get home.”
Mark followed her down the porch steps, and they walked side by side up the path toward her parents’ house.
When they reached the house, she looked up at him once again. “Gut nacht.”
“Gut nacht,” he echoed. He started toward the barn and then spun toward her once again. “Priscilla!”
She pivoted toward him, her eyes questioning his.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for all of this,” he said.
She seemed to wilt a little, her slight shoulders hunching. “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry you’ve been tangled up in my mess.”
He smiled at her. “We’ll get through it.”
She nodded. “Be safe going home.”
“I will.” But he wasn’t planning on heading home right away. He was going to go see Laura and beg her to help him make sense of this crazy day.