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Chapter 12

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“DID YOU LOSE SOMETHING?”

“Yes.” Her mind was at the top of the list, Rory thought as she continued to search for the diary.

“Where was the last place you remember having it?” Darla asked, coming into her room to help Rory look.

“I don’t remember.”

It must have been before she let Clayton kiss her, because she could hardly remember anything after. She didn’t know why she was letting that tiny mistake completely confuse her. It was a temporary loss of good judgment, but it was over now. She was certain it was over now.

“What did you lose?” Darla asked, finally getting to the important question.

“My book.”

She was at the part where it was starting to get good, going into more details about the man her aunt fell in love with. There was still no name, but there was a lot of description. He sounded like any woman’s dream.

“I think I saw you reading it in the garden before; could you have left it out there?”

Now Rory remembered that she had it before the scene with Clayton and must have left it there among the flowers. Giving Darla a quick hug, Rory rushed downstairs to fetch it.

At first she couldn’t find it among the blooming flowers, and she got down on her knees to search for it. Instead of finding the book, she was startled to find a small door with a lock on it. She would never have found it if she wasn’t looking for something else.

“Go and fetch a couple of lanterns,” Rory told Darla, who had followed her down. “I think there is a secret room or something here.”

Darla returned after a few minutes, but she wasn’t alone. Both Rex and Clayton were with her, lanterns in hand.

“You were going to go alone?” Clayton asked, a deep furrow in his brow.

“It’s my house; I should know what is hidden in it.”

“That’s just being reckless.”

Rory turned to Darla. “Why did you bring them?”

“I agree that going alone would be reckless.”

There would be no convincing them to go away, so Rory motioned for them to break the lock. At least they could be useful in that way. The door swung open to reveal a very dark hole. The four of them leaned over to peer in, but no one was in a hurry to find out what was inside.

“Maybe someone should stay here and make sure the door doesn’t close behind us and get stuck. You wouldn’t want to get trapped in there,” said Darla, trembling enough to make the flame in her lantern flicker.

“Why don’t you both stay at this end?” Clayton suggested. “There might not be much room in there, and three people could be a tight fit.”

“We could leave the ladies behind.” Rex looked like he hated the idea of being alone with poor Darla.

“Absolutely not!” Rory raised her voice. “This is my house, and I will find out where this leads. I don’t care who goes in second, but they will be following after me.”

She didn’t bother to wait for them to sort out who was going and who wasn’t. Rory bent over to tie up the edges of her skirt before taking her lantern and slowly descending the narrow ladder. It wasn’t easy to balance onehanded on the thin rungs, but she swallowed her fear and focused on taking it one step at a time. She reached the bottom, where she found herself facing a long and narrow corridor that went farther than her light could reach.

“Damn it, woman, can’t you think before you act?”

Clayton was stumbling down the ladder now, so he must have won the argument. She hoped that Darla would be able to stand being alone with Rex for that long. Rory waited until he had his feet on the ground before beginning to walk down the corridor, her lantern in front of her.

“You can’t wait for me?”

“No.”

She heard him mumbling curse words under his breath, and it made her smile. He was able to appear well-mannered and respectable most of the time, but in rare moments his rougher nature showed through. She wondered if he struggled to keep that aspect hidden from the world. She also wondered what it was about her that brought out his uncivilized nature.

Inside the tunnel, there was a cool breeze blowing at them from the other end, though they could not see where the tunnel stopped. It wasn’t very wide, only a little bigger than the width of Clayton’s shoulders. This was not a tunnel designed for more than one person to travel. Because of that, Rory had to walk in front, and Clayton stayed behind her. He was close enough to reach if she needed to but not close enough to make her feel uncomfortable. The rock walls and overhead beams appeared in good condition, so she wasn’t worried about a collapse, only the possibility of something in their way along the dirt floor.

“What do you think this was built for?” Rory asked as they crept forward slowly, careful of where they put their feet.

“It was probably originally used for smuggling of some kind. I doubt your aunt was using it for that, so it might not have been used for a long time.”

“Do you think she knew it was here? There is no mention of it in her diaries.”

“I find it hard to believe she lived here so many years and never discovered it.”

“The servants might have been using it.”

That might be possible, but Rory found it unlikely. The lady of the house would have known about this after living here for such a long time. Perhaps she had her own reasons for keeping it a secret, even from her own diary.

“I think I see a ladder up ahead,” said Rory. “This must be the end of the tunnel.”

Clayton slid past her to get in front and climbed up to the top of the ladder. There was a hatch, and when he tried to push it open, Rory could hear that it was latched shut. It rattled when Clayton pushed harder on it, but eventually he was able to use his weight to break the latch off. He helped Rory up the ladder and into a tiny cabin. It was darkened from too much dirt on the windows, but there was enough light from the lantern to see around them.

“What is this place?” Rory asked, moving carefully around the room without touching anything. “Are we on another property?”

She went to the window and looked out. She could see her house in the distance, but it was partially blocked by the trees. It was close enough to walk to easily, but the woods would have kept it hidden.

“No, I think this is on the edge of your land,” said Clayton. “A gardener’s cottage is my guess.”

“I suppose it would have been important to have one on hand for that secret garden.”

“There are only two rooms in this building, and neither looks like it has been visited in a very long time.”

“I feel like an intruder going through someone else’s personal things,” said Rory. “Perhaps we should just go back.”

Rory followed Clayton into the bedroom, and although she felt strange about being there, her curiosity was too strong to leave. All of the items appeared to have been left exactly where they were a long time before. It was as if the occupant had left suddenly without the care to come and get them again. The bed was made, but there was a man’s jacket thrown across the foot of it. Judging by the size, which was close to Clayton’s, the gardener must have been a large man. He had shaving tools on top of the dresser, and when Rory looked in the wardrobe, there were numerous work shirts and trousers.

“You don’t know anything about what happened to the former gardener?” Clayton asked, standing close to the doorway and watching her look around. 

“No. None of the former staff was still employed by the time I became old enough to take possession of it. I had to bring my own from London.” She had assumed the staff was let go after her aunt’s unexpected death.

There was a table near the bed that had a piece of ribbon sticking out of a drawer. Opening it, she found tokens from a woman, including a delicate handkerchief, once white but now an aging yellow, and a lock of auburn hair tied with a dark red ribbon. There was also a small stack of envelopes with a woman’s handwriting on them.

“It seems our mysterious gardener had a ladylove,” Clayton said as he moved closer to look at them with her.

Rory was appalled by the idea, but she couldn’t deny what she was looking at. “This is my aunt’s handwriting.”

“Was there any mention of a gardener in her diaries?”

“No, not specifically.” She didn’t open them but took them into her hands and pulled them against her chest. “She did say that she was in love with someone her family wouldn’t approve of. He was the reason she gave up on London.”

“It seems they preferred to be closer to each other.”

“That tunnel goes directly to the house. You don’t think they used it for...?”

Clayton remained silent, watching her with those dark blue eyes as she put all the pieces together to form the truth. Her aunt was clearly the woman the gardener was in love with, and if the diary was any indication, she loved him too. Still, a woman sneaking through tunnels to visit her lover was a lot to accept. The aunt she so often thought she might one day become was a fallen women.

“She wasn’t married, and she was well over the age of being on the shelf when she moved out here.” Clayton spoke slowly and cautiously, as if he wasn’t sure how she would handle this new piece of information. “The two of them might have been very happy together here.”

“She chose to seclude herself here to be with her lover.” She could hear the judgement in her own voice.

“You said that your aunt talked about him in her diaries. About how well he treated her and how much he cared about her.”

“Yes, but that’s not worth giving up your life for.” Rory didn’t know why it was so upsetting to her, but she felt betrayed by her own memory of her aunt.

“She didn’t die, she just moved away from London.”

“She died at some point.”

“With the man she loved by her side. I don’t think she considered it a sacrifice.”

To her, they were one and the same. Clayton didn’t know what it was like to be a part of society with the pressure of representing one’s family. He had the freedom of being middle class.

“She walked away from her responsibilities.”

“So, you are telling me that you don’t think love is worth giving up life in society?”

“Love is fleeting. Society is forever.”

“You have never been in love, then.”

Rory felt like the air was knocked out of her. Her cheeks burned, and she struggled to speak. “You don’t know that. I might have been in love a dozen times.”

“Not if you can so easily dismiss it. Love isn’t something you choose; the feelings choose you. You meet the right person, and you can’t imagine a life without them.”

“You have so much experience with it?”

Rory had never experienced such a feeling, but she would wager everything that Clayton hadn’t either. In London, she had enjoyed the company of men at balls or parties, but never felt the kind of connection he described. Clayton would have been in love with his work, only becoming excited by his next project. They were both people bored with life and looking for something to occupy them. Love would have changed that, and it hadn’t.

“No, I haven’t been so lucky, but when I do, it will be something worth giving up anything for,” he said with complete conviction.

Rory glared at him, fixing her narrow hazel eyes on his dark expression. They were both angry now, breathing heavily and facing off with each other. She was gripping the letters so tightly she could feel them wrinkling in her palm.

“A woman would be foolish to give up her future for a man. Marriage is supposed to be a beneficial arrangement for both people. My aunt and her lover both suffered for the relationship. Neither of them got anything for it.”

“They had each other. That counts for something.”

“I would rather keep my family’s good name.”

“Will that warm you when you crawl into your cold bed? I guarantee a man would do a better job.”

Rory gasped. “How dare you!”

“I think I’m the only one who would dare. You probably frighten most men before they even think about it.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

Rory didn’t know why he did it, but his feet moved forward and brought him closer to her. With each step, his eyes grew wilder and hungrier, but she made no move to get away. She just watched him make his approach and listened as her heart beat faster. He reached out to wrap his hands around her upper arms and pulled her flush against his body. Her lips parted but no sound came from them.

“I think I know you better than you know yourself. You just don’t want to admit it.”

He swooped in to kiss her before she could say something that would ruin the moment for them both. The moment their lips touched, she responded to him willingly. She melted against his body and dug her hands into his shirt, pulling him closer. Their mouths were hot and wet against each other, sucking and licking until he felt nothing but heat between them. 

“Still think a working-class man can’t offer anything you want?” His voice was rough against her ear, bringing her back to the moment and the people that they were.

Rory shoved hard against him, making him stumble back. Her skin felt warm, both where he had touched her and where she had wanted to be touched. Her body was betraying her with every urge and ache she felt, telling her to return to his arms. He had attempted to seduce her, and she was escaping by the skin of her teeth.

Trembling, Rory grabbed her lantern and ran to the tunnel, rushing back to the safety of the house. Darla was waiting for her there, but Rex was nowhere in sight. Rory was glad for that, since she didn’t want a full audience for her appearance.

“What happened?” Darla sounded both concerned and frightened. “Was there something terrifying in there?”

The only thing that frightened Rory was herself. She no longer felt like the elegant lady in a ball gown, but like a real woman in her own body. She felt like she was sliding into a new world and she wasn’t going to be able to come back to her old life afterward.

“Nothing happened,” Rory assured her. “Nothing at all.”