Luka
The sylph turned to me when we were alone, reclining gracefully against the bed. He looked at me with a strong and determined gaze, his eyes glinting in the low light of the room.
“So, foxy,” he started, “You and the human are pretty close.”
My lips thinned, and I nodded slowly. “She’s my best friend.” I didn’t know if I could still call Baz a friend after everything that had happened. He hadn’t exactly been himself when he’d tried to kill me, but —
Kol raised a brow. “That so?” He sighed; a playful grin still written plainly on his face. “Damn. I thought Elmy boy was gonna finally have some real competition.”
Competition? For what?
“What do you mean?”
Kol stretched out his wings and reclined against the pillow, shifting around to find a better position. He adjusted his shoulders until he’d nestled the pillow perfectly underneath them, creating the ideal support for the base of his wings.
“A new hot guy vying for the human’s affection under the same roof?”
I didn’t know what he was getting at. “It’s not like that. Rhen is my friend. Probably the only real one I’ve ever had.”
“Aww. Don’t let Elm hear you say that. It would break his heart.” He adjusted himself in his bed again, obviously uncomfortable and in pain. “Weren’t you friends with his dipshit of a brother, too?”
I released a heavy sigh. “I mean, yeah. But sometimes I felt like he only kept me around out of pity. Like everything I did annoyed him.”
Kol let out a deep sigh, rolling his neck around in a slow circle and resting his cheek against his shoulder. He closed his eyes for a few moments, conscious of the tension in his back and shoulders. He groaned, and finally gave up on trying to get comfortable. He shot to his feet and peered down at me. “I’m gonna go check on those two. Make yourself at home, foxy.”
Disappearing through the door, I was left in a stark white room with nothing but my thoughts and the heavy silence to keep me company. As the minutes slowly passed by, I began to grow increasingly antsy and restless - my mind whirring away at an ever-increasing speed. Until, eventually, when I couldn’t take it any longer, I stood up.
I had a slow start. My legs were still wobbly, and the stabbing pain in my stomach kept me unsteady, but I finally found my footing. I grabbed Kol’s flat pillow, fluffing it gently in my hands before placing it gingerly back on the bed. I even went as far as pulling up the thin sheet and tucking it under the mattress.
Several minutes passed, and no one returned to the room. Antsy, I decided to venture out. Tell Elm that I was sorry about his dad. I felt guilty. I hadn’t been the one to kill him, but I’d been there. Stood by and watched in horror as Baz had ripped out his heart with no hesitation.
So I was at fault, too. I had done nothing to stop him. And had kept his secret from everyone in Dullahan.
Taking my time, I cautiously traveled through the seemingly endless hallway before finally arriving in the living room. The walls were lined with paintings of far-off landscapes and other pieces of art, emphasizing the warmth and classic style that illuminated throughout this place. As I took a few more steps into the room, I noticed some of its charming details - plush velvet furniture arranged around an ornate wooden coffee table, vibrant beige curtains flowing from the windows.
It wasn’t decorated as luxuriously as the palace, and definitely gave off vibes that a man had decorated it. Still, it was comfy and welcoming.
The front door was cracked, letting in a nasty chill, so I figured that’s where everyone had disappeared to.
Bracing myself against the cold, I wrapped my arms around my body and trudged through the snow, following the fresh prints until I reached a small greenhouse that was connected to the side of the fortress.
Kol stood with his back against the door, his wings draped protectively over himself as he tried to avoid the relentless onslaught of snow and chill that seemed to penetrate even the thickest of coats.
His stance, the way he was peering through the door, made me feel as if I’d unwittingly stumbled upon something I wasn’t meant to see. Quickly, my body shrank in on itself and, without even thinking about it, I scurried around and hid behind a bush.
Elm
Her mouth was warm and soft, salty with our tears. I forgot why I wanted to keep her away, why I couldn’t allow myself the pleasure of a moment like this with her. Every thought of that night flew out of my mind as we kissed; there was only this moment that we shared together, connected in an inescapable embrace that seemed to go on endlessly. For a few seconds, this feeling of contentment completely overwhelmed me; it was almost too much for me to bear.
When the moment passed, I finally tore myself away from her. It was a strange and difficult feeling, like pulling against two powerful opposite forces. My heart felt both relieved and disappointed at the same time. I didn’t want to let her go; I wanted to stay there forever.
I backed away and looked her in the eyes, searching for a hint of what she was thinking. Her gaze seemed distant and confused, like she too had been caught up in this moment and couldn’t quite find her way back from it. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again.
“Why did you do that?” I asked, turning toward the rows of greenery. The scent of herbs hung in the air like a gentle mist. Hints of rosemary, thyme and sage flowed on the breeze, brushing lightly against my skin. Poppies bloomed in delicate shades of purple, surrounding the entrance with an ethereal grace. Everywhere I looked, there was something beautiful or fragrant; lavender wafted through the air with a hint of clover coming from somewhere beyond my field if vision.
Her voice tickled my ears even from the distance between us. “I don’t—I don’t know.”
“Don’t ever do that again,” I growled harshly, expecting that she would storm off back to the house and leave me to wallow in my self-centered misery in peace.
But she asked in such a sad, broken whisper. “Why?”
I whirled, my brows knitted in confusion; I’d not expected her to ask such a simple question, one with a heart wrenching answer I was reluctant to give. Instead, I stepped closer and took her chin in my hand, raising her gaze back to mine.
She was so small, so tiny that if I’d truly wanted to, I could crush her in my arms. But she wasn’t quite that fragile. She’d always been so fucking resilient.
I admired that about her — her ability to keep going even when everything went wrong. That’s why I knew I had to be firm with my words. Had to really sever the thread connecting her heart to mine.
“Because.” I feigned rage, squeezing her chin between my finger and thumb. She looked back into my eyes, and my breathing grew heavy with emotion. “Because I don’t want you. I will never want you like that.”
Her face crumpled, and I knew I’d struck the right nerve. Knew I’d said the only thing that would make her run for the hills. A pang of guilt shot through my chest, but I was ready to accept the consequences of my words.
She ripped her face from my grasp, fury and anguish blazing in her dark brown eyes.
“Fuck you!” She screamed, her voice ringing out through the brittle walls of the greenhouse as tears streamed down her hot, flushed cheeks. The noise echoed off into the sky as a clash of thunder rocked the building from outside. She was shaking, her body revolting against the chill in the air as another loud rumble shook everything around us. “I can’t believe—”
She bolted out of the room, not even thinking to shut the door behind her. I could hear her crying all the way back to the fortress until she reached her own bedroom and slammed it shut.
“Well, that was a bit harsh.” Kol said in the doorway. His wings, still not completely healed from the injury they had sustained, hung limply behind him as he carefully made his way toward me. He slowly spread them wide, stretching the muscles in his back as if they still hurt him.
Rubbing his shoulder thoughtfully, he paused, as if debating something internally. It wasn’t until his large, clenched fist connected with my cheek that I realized what it was.
“You’re an idiot sometimes.”
I had to stifle my own seething anger and restrain myself from retaliating against the injured sylph. My nose curled as I took deep breaths, letting the anger cool and dissipate. “What the hell did you do that for?”
His casual shrug in response to my question was utterly infuriating. I gingerly touched my cheek, the beginnings of a bruise already beginning to form.
“What do you want, Kol?”
He completely disregarded me, his gaze fixed forward as he proceeded to scuff the ground with his shoes, kicking at the pebbles that were scattered beneath him. Finally, he sighed and met my gaze. “Are you ever going to tell her?”
“Tell her what?”
“That you’re in love with her.”
Confusion filled my face, my eyebrows knitted in a puzzled expression. But inside I felt an uneasy stirring, the anxiety radiating through my body like thunder in the sky. A lump was slowly forming in my throat as I contemplated what he’d just said. “What? No, I’m not.”
True love was something I had never been capable of experiencing. I wasn’t capable of the kind of deep, passionate love people write about in novels and poems.
Kol tested the strength of his right wing, fluttering his feathers and tensing the muscles underneath. “Okay, sure. So, tell me. When was the last time you brought a random girl home? There for a while, it was a different one every week. Remember that little pixie? I never could wrap my head around—” He paused to chuckle. “How she could wrap around your head?”
My nostrils flared as my eyes locked with his. They were a shimmering silver, unblinking and full of intent. “We’re in the middle of a war, Kol, in case you haven’t noticed. I haven’t really been thinking about sex.”
He dropped his wing, raised the other one. Both brows raised as he inspected the bald patch where new feathers were starting to grow. “Hmm. You know, the Elm I knew several months ago wouldn’t have let that stop him.”
“Oh, my gods, you’re annoying.”
“But I’m right. You love her. So, what’s the big deal?”
I clamped my eyes shut, blocking out his words and refusing to give them any credence. He was wrong, this wasn’t love! I had never been much of a romantic person in the past - the gushy, romantic stuff just didn’t appeal to me. But what I felt for her was so much more than that. It was more than a feeling or emotion; it was something deeper and all-encompassing. There was an undeniable connection between us, and it terrified me.
Yet, when she’d led me away into the greenhouse just before I lost my grip on my perfectly poised persona, I’d been more than grateful. My heart had fluttered at her touch. And when she’d slid her hands underneath my shirt, I’d come nearly undone in her arms. When she’d told me she was a safe place to fall apart, I’d wanted nothing more than to place my heart in her hands.
I’d felt more seen than ever before.
And I’d pushed her further away.
No, I couldn’t possibly be in love with her. Because that would mean — “I can’t,” I replied, shaking my head solemnly. “I don’t deserve her.”
Kol put his hand on my shoulder, the comforting weight of it steadying me. “Don’t you think she should be the one that gets to decide that?”
My ears pricked up at the sound of someone taking labored breaths, like they were struggling to get enough oxygen. Both Kol and I whipped our heads toward the doorway, where Luka stood, his green eyes wide and full of pain.
“Hey, uh—” He grimaced, tightly gripping his stomach as he winced in pain. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but, um, you guys got anything to eat around here?”