Baz
Give up, idiot. She’s not coming.
Mammon pounded on the wall inside my mind, determined to find a point of weakness where he could worm his way back to the surface. He would surely exploit any doubt I had and rise again.
Rhen’s message came in loud and clear, even though I hadn’t been the one in control then. It woke me up, hearing how tired her voice was inside my mind.
She, too, was probably exhausted from fighting it.
So, I made an excuse to leave Drea’s side, not that she even noticed when I glimmered to the cabin. She was so wrapped up in plotting a way to move the cauldron that she’d simply waved me away.
I couldn’t bear seeing Rei’s face, not after what I’d done to her, so I stood outside of the door. The hardwood felt cool against my back as I pressed against it, and my thoughts seemed to drift away with the fading of all other noise around me. All that was left, was an inexplicable guilt that kept ringing within my head.
I’d done so many bad things.
Not just recently, but my entire life. I could simply blame it all on the beast inside me, but I knew Mammon was only a small part of the problem. All the lies I’d told. The deception. Hell, even the way I treated my staff.
People were actually afraid of me. And that was before they knew I could turn into a bloodthirsty monster.
Even Luka. Gods, I was awful to him. Exploited his kindness and friendship and kept him tucked under my arm until I needed something from him. And I didn’t truly know how much I depended on him—needed him—until my claws were inside his gut.
Felt good, didn’t it?
There was no point in denying it. I’d loved the feeling of power. The taste was metallic and warm. Magick radiated from my body like an electrical current that I could barely contain, so releasing it—using it — alleviated that pain. But only briefly, because the aftermath always hurt more.
As soon as I’d glimmered in, the kaanhounds that Drea had left to guard Rei departed. It appeared they, too, were afraid of me. Still, I heard their low growls from the edge of the woods when a pink cast of smoke descended in front of me. From it, Rhen appeared with a grim expression.
I almost couldn’t contain my joy at seeing her.
“Rhen,” I breathed.
Her brows scrunched inquisitively, as if she wasn’t sure how she should react. She kept one hand on the hilt of the sword in her belt.
I didn’t blame her.
Releasing a heavy sigh, I said, “I’m so sorry.”
“Where is she?”
Right. I’d known she hadn’t agreed to meet me for anything other than the trade, yet it hurt more than I’d expected.
“Inside. Rhen, look,” I stretched out my hand to her, as I’d done so many times before. However, this time she recoiled, making me quickly pull my arm back to my side. Guilt rocked through me. I’d truly destroyed this girl, yet somehow—she radiated a glow of power that I couldn’t understand.
I was beneath her, I realized.
Another sigh. “Go on in. I’ll stay here to keep the hounds away.”
That caught her attention. “You aren’t worried that I’ll escape with her?”
I shrugged. “Go ahead.”
Then maybe Drea would finally kill me. Just get it over with so I wouldn’t have to feel this massive gaping hole filled with guilt. But that was my cowardice talking.
Rhen studied me for a moment, her eyes assessing my new form — the horns that protruded from the top of my head, the sharp talons that extended from my fingers, and the black skin that faded up my forearms, making my hands look stained by ink.
I had attempted and failed innumerable times to make the horns disappear, to look away from the darkness that was indelibly staining my fingertips.
“You’re really him,” she said finally, “aren’t you?”
I nodded once. Unfortunately, yes.
Oh, she’s so delicious. Can I have a taste?
No, you stupid bastard. Go away.
“In that case, can we talk first?”
What? I’d expected her to burst through the door to her mom. Thought she would brandish that sword of hers and ram it straight through my heart. I’d rather die by her hands than by Xandrea’s, anyway.
“Uh, sure.”
We walked to the edge of the forest in tandem. I was mindful not to encroach on her comfort zone, allowing her to choose a distance from me that was comfortable for her. Clearly anxious, she periodically stopped and kicked at the scattered twigs and broken branches.
A disquieting silence filled our hazy path, a cacophonous orchestra of bird chirps and wind gusts that enveloped us like an unwelcome shroud.
“I want to help you,” she muttered, still staring at her feet.
She didn’t mean that, did she? After everything I’d done. I didn’t deserve her help.
But I wanted it.
Desperately.
“Why?” The question slipped off my tongue. I didn’t even try to catch it.
I’m not worth saving, Rhen.
No. You’re not.
You know, I’m getting really fucking tired of your commentary.
“Honestly?” She met my gaze. “I don’t know, but I have this feeling that I’m going to need you if we are going to kill her.”
“Okay. So, you’re here to switch places with her?”
A nod.
“She’s going to be suspicious. We need a believable excuse for the switch.”
Her face contorted, and I knew she’d already thought it all out.
“That’s why you’re going to pretend that you lured me here with the promise that you’d let her go if I agreed to marry you.”
What?
Oh, that’s good.
No.
“You said once that you would spare her if I joined you. Well, I’m giving you what you want.”
“Rhen—”
“Baz, please. It’s the only way I know how to save her.”
Desperation. I knew that feeling all too well.
“I want you to know that this,” I gestured around me. “Was never what I wanted. I was too greedy and wanted the crown no matter the cost. I didn’t care if I hurt you; didn’t care about the chaos it might bring. I just wanted to be free.”
I’d thought crushing Father’s heart in my hand would release me from this ache in my chest. And it had. For half a second, I was high on power. But with it came my downfall. I hadn’t freed myself at all. I’d allowed Mammon to shackle me against the wall.
“I know. That’s why I’m going to save you.”
Rei
The fire in the hearth was dangerously low again, but I was out of firewood, so I huddled in a ball in front of it.
So cold.
I had to hang on a little longer. For Rhen. For the world.
Remember. I have to remember my purpose in this war. I will not let them win.
It happened so fast. One second, I was curled in front of the fire, the next a pair of feminine arms grabbed me up from behind.
I fought against them, but I was too weak. Something sharp pressed against my neck, and I felt the brush of breath on my ear.
The door opened, and I saw her.
My beautiful girl. The raven whose wings I’d pinned down for so long. She looked like she could take flight now with her eyes wide in terror.
I barely felt the metal blade at my throat until she screamed for me.
“Mama! No!”
He was with her. That terrible monster. Eyes black as night and curling devil horns atop his crown. He grabbed her hand, held her back.
She cried again, and the woman holding me pressed the blade further into my skin.
“Looks like you’ve been busy, Mammon.”
The monster’s face softened. Filled with fear. He said nothing.
She laughed cruelly behind me. If I could just move my hand —
“Let her go! I made a deal with Baz,” Rhen said, tears spilling down her cheeks.
No. Rhen, don’t cry for me.
“I will take her place, but only if you let her go.”
My daughter’s face crumpled, and I longed to reach out for her. Saw the seashells wrapped around her throat, and a memory surfaced.
It was the first present Char had ever gifted me. He hadn’t been able to afford a fancy gold band to propose with, so he’d gathered shells by the shore off the Mainland and scrounged up enough to buy the flimsy chain. He’d spent months cleaning and boring holes in the shells so he could string them up.
You are as beautiful as the sea, Rei darling, he’d told me when he’d wrapped it around my neck. I’d thought him a madman, a hopeless romantic, but looking at my little raven wearing it, I understood what he’d meant.
Rhen’s hair crashed around her like a black sea. Raw emotion splashed her pink face like gentle waves against the sand. And I remembered the vision the Seers had gifted me, her ashen body lying at my feet. The world had cracked open, and it had swallowed her whole.
But I had the power to change it. It was a risky move, with her standing next to that monster with daemon eyes.
Tears spilled down my cheeks. I’d left her alone for so long. Forced her to navigate the cruel world all on her own.
But she wasn’t alone anymore. She had come so far, become so strong that I knew she could handle it.
You have to live. Please.
“I have no use for you,” muttered the woman. What was her name?
Oh, Xandrea. That’s right. She’s the real monster.
I was wrong.
His eyes were blue.
I was not afraid.
So—tired.
With every bit of energy left in my body, I called out to my little raven. “It’s okay, baby. Find love, my sweet girl, and once you have it—”
She pressed the metal further in, and I winced. But the pain cleared the fog on my brain. “Never let it go.”
My hands found the end of the dagger and ripped it from Xandrea’s hands. She hadn’t expected me to have that much strength left, so when I had it in my grasp, I plunged it straight into my chest.
It slid in like butter.
I barely felt it.
Rhen reached out her arms for me, and the boy released her. I watched in slow motion as he dropped to his knees.
“Mama,” Rhen said, holding me in her arms like she’d done so many times before. “Mama, please.”
I played my part, and I knew because I saw him standing behind her wearing the most welcoming smile I’d ever seen.
My lips tried to form his name, but I lost it. Slipped out of my body, and in doing so lost control of it.
Char.
He offered me a hand, and I reached out to him.
Goodbye, Rhen. Please, be happy.