“I’ll talk to you later,” Alexa called back to Tia Perez, her new executive editor of Radiance magazine.
It was a gray Wednesday afternoon and by now the word was out about Alexa’s promotion. It was getting hard to keep smiling at the steady stream of well-wishers, from board members to the mailroom clerk.
The place was still buzzing about the launch of the new magazine and Alexa’s promotion. She smiled as she recalled her mother’s excitement upon hearing the news.
“I’m so proud of you, daughter. That Mrs. Holland must truly think highly of you. I knew no matter what if you maintained your focus you could achieve anything because you are so bright and intelligent.”
Hearing such words of praise from her mother partially diminished her anxieties over taking the position. She held her chin high as she replayed her mother’s words in her head while rounding the corner to her department.
“Hi, Sharon,” she said as she entered her department. “Did I get any calls while I was out?”
Sharon smiled and nudged her head toward her office. “Maybe you should see for yourself.”
Not quite understanding what she meant, Alex cautiously approached her office. Seated in one of the chairs holding a bouquet of yellow roses was Sean.
Her mouth dropped. “Sean, what are you doing here?” After their last encounter she couldn’t believe that he would have the gall to come to her job.
Sean immediately stood up. “I came to apologize.” He handed her the flowers. “Here, these are for you. Yellow roses mean friendship. I hope that we can make amends, as friends of course.”
Alexa stared between the roses and Sean’s nervous smile and relinquished her anger. “You didn’t have to.”
“I know,” he interjected. “I deserved that slap.” He rubbed the spot where Alexa’s hand had landed more than a week ago, as if the stinging pain was still present. “What happened between us has really been on my mind, and I was hoping to get a chance to give you the explanation that you deserved.”
“Forget it, Sean,” she replied. “It’s not necessary.”
“Yes, it is,” he insisted. Alexa noticed how he took a couple steps towards her then stepped back as to not offend her again by invading her personal space. “Can we go someplace where we can talk?”
Her first response was to say no when she remembered Teressa’s words concerning her last encounter with Sean. Their meeting could bring closure to the whole situation. She could also do as Teressa suggested by dropping Darius’s name so that he’d know she was not spending her nights agonizing the loss of their relationship.
“Sure.” She placed the flowers in an empty vase that she found in her credenza and grabbed her things.
Alexa noticed Sharon’s eyebrow rise as they passed her desk. She didn’t want any office gossip floating around. “I’m going to a business lunch,” she informed her. “I’ll return in an hour.”
As if on a timer, the elevator doors opened with a spot for the two of them. Without a word, they stepped in and rode to the parking garage where Sean’s BMW was parked.
“Where would you like to go?” he asked as he disarmed the vehicle and opened her door.
She shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn’t matter to me,” she casually replied as she slipped inside.
Sean decided on a nearby café that wasn’t quite as busy during the noon hour. The place was quiet. Most of the patrons were senior citizens out on their daily lunch excursion. They immediately found a secluded booth and placed their orders.
“So what’s up?” she asked after the waitress departed.
“I thought about what you said and had to agree. The way I left things was wrong. I was a jerk for treating you the way I did and I am sorry.”
“Hmm,” she snorted. “That’s putting it a little mildly.”
An uneasy laugh escaped him. “I don’t know what to say other than I wasn’t ready for marriage.”
“Then why did you ask me to marry you?” she charged. “I didn’t twist your arm. Why did you have to go there with me?”
“Because it seemed like the right thing to do. We both were settled in our careers. We got the chance to do everything we wanted to do like travel and buy things we wanted. We lived comfortably. It seemed like the natural order of things.”
It had never occurred to her that men planned their lives in the same manner as women. She assumed they simply went with the flow of things. If they were dating then they continued to date until they were either handed an ultimatum or another woman came along.
Sean continued. “You and I had been dating for a while. You were intelligent, sexy and fun to be around. I loved you for who you were, but while you had it going on in every imaginable way, I was still empty inside.”
Alexa nodded. “I understand, because after I got past all of the glitter and glamour of having a wedding, I realized the same thing. There was something missing for me, too. Something that marrying you could not cure.”
Sean leaned forward; his face lit up like a Christmas tree from her own confession. “Did you feel it? Did you feel that way, too, Alexa?”
She nodded. “It took me a while to see that I loved you, too, but I wasn’t in love with you because my heart belonged to someone else. It always had.”
Sean’s mouth dropped opened. “What?” Apparently those were not the words he expected to hear.
Alexa immediately noticed his surprise and quickly cleared any misunderstanding. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t when you and I were together. It was way before us.” She proceeded to unfold her history with Darius.
“Do you still love him?”
Alexa smiled with a look of love in her eyes that told Sean all he needed to know.
He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to her. Alexa noticed that it was a signed blank check payable to her.
“What is this for?”
“My half of the cost for the wedding. It’s the least I can do.”
She placed the check on the table and pushed it back to him. “I don’t need it.” She smiled with nothing but Darius in mind. “I have everything I need.”
Darius reread the card attached to the tiny pitchfork tucked in the stem of roses. Give me another chance. Love, Sean. He took a deep breath to maintain his composure. Who was this Sean and why in the hell was he sending flowers to his wife?
That old sinking feeling dared to reenter the pit of his stomach, but he was determined not to go there. He wasn’t about to go through that personal hell again. An old saying that his mother used to say came to mind. “If you’re catching hell, don’t hold it. If you’re going through hell, don’t stop!” As far as he was concerned, hell wasn’t his destination in their relationship.
He claimed the nearest chair and leaned back, waiting for Alexa’s return. Reg’s words came to mind and he fought to keep them at bay. He didn’t want to doubt her love for him or the new relationship that they had built.
Darius decided a walk was what he needed to clear his mind. He remembered passing a Coke machine in the lobby on his way upstairs. Maybe he could get one and chill before broaching the subject. He was about to leave the office when he heard Alexa returning.
“Did I get any calls?” he heard her asked the receptionist.
“You got something,” the woman replied, nudging her head towards the door of Alexa’s office.
“Oh, really? What now?” Alexa asked, somewhat irritated by all of the surprises over the course of a few days.
At that moment, Darius stepped around the corner. “Me.”
Alexa’s eyes immediately lit up, and a smile spread easily across her face. “Darry!” she gasped and ran into his arms. Her eyes watered up as she pressed her face against his chest.
Darius wrapped her up protectively in his embrace. “Hey, lady,” he murmured against her hair. He caught the surprised expression on the secretary’s face and briefly wondered if her look had anything to do with the roses on Alexa’s desk.
Alexa pulled back, taking both of his hands into her own. “You tricked me. I thought I wouldn’t see you for weeks.”
Darius shrugged, staring into her face and momentarily forgot the roses because of her beautiful smile. “I managed to pull some strings here and there.”
“How long are you going to be here?” she asked, cuddling back into his embrace.
“Only for two days. So, can you take the rest of the day off?”
She smiled slyly. “I’ll see what I can do.” So as not to be rude, she quickly introduced him to Sharon before leading him into her office. Once inside, she closed the door and fell against him smothering him with kisses.
“Whoa now,” he teased as he took a seat in the chair, pulling her down on his lap.
“I’m sorry, I just missed you, baby,” she replied with a soft sigh.
“Seems like you’re not the only one full of apologies,” he retorted, pointing to the bouquet of flowers.
Alexa rolled her eyes. “It’s not what you think,” she began. “I got those from an ex-fiancé.”
“Your ex-fiancé?” he exclaimed, dropping his arms from around her waist. “I don’t get it, Alex.”
“Then let me explain.”
She told him about her relationship with Sean, from how he backed out of the wedding up to when she ran into him at the mall.
“I was upset with him for acting like everything was okay. He sent the flowers to apologize for being forward with me. I only agreed to go out to lunch with him so I could tell him that he need not contact me any further because I am involved with someone.”
“And you think he accepted that?” he asked, disgruntled by the simplicity of her statement. He knew how men, particularly brothers were when it came to a taken woman. They loved challenges. Trying to regain the affections of an old flame posed the best challenge especially when what they had was good. He ought to know, because the challenge was before him just a few months earlier.
In addition, he found it hard to believe that this brother would back away just because she said she had a man. As a young man, Darius remembered challenging a woman’s faithfulness to her man by making a pass at her anyway just to see if he could accomplish something. Those days were long gone now as his energies were set on one woman. But there were still many men out there who provoked the challenge.
She nodded. “He told me to tell you that you are a lucky man,” she repeated Sean’s words.
Darius nodded in agreement. “Yes, I am.”
“And I am one lucky woman,” she added with a kiss.
The two got lost for a moment in a passionate kiss when Darius pulled back. He looked at his watch. “I have exactly 52 hours and I don’t want to waste one damn minute.”
Alexa laughed. “Aye, aye.” She hopped off his lap and disappeared for a few minutes. When she returned, she quickly grabbed her coat and purse. “Ready when you are.”
Darius brought a bowl of hot buttered popcorn into the living room while Alexa followed with two glasses of Pepsi. He sat the bowl on the coffee table and went upstairs to retrieve the stadium blanket Alexa told him he would find in the guest room closet. Just as he bounded up the stairs, the telephone rang.
Alexa placed the drinks down and answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“I hope you aren’t doing anything you shouldn’t be doing,” the caller said.
Alexa sat up at the sound of Maya’s voice.
“Hey, girl!” she exclaimed. “Long time no talk to.”
“I know, what’s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing my behind. I heard you and Darry are back together.”
She hesitated, not knowing exactly all that Maya knew. “Who told you that?”
“Bry, who else? He picked up on you two at the reception and confirmed with Darius a couple weeks ago that you two were trying to make it a go again.”
“I’m sorry, May,” she began. “I intended to call and tell you, but time got away from me.” Alexa wanted to tell her friend the real good news about them tying the knot, but declined, wanting the announcement to come from both of them at the right time.
“Yeah, I know how it is when things are going so well that you’re bogged down enjoying the moment.”
Alexa laughed at her friend’s comment. “I guess you could say that.”
“Are you happy?”
Alexa sighed dreamily. “Yes.”
“Who would have known this would happen?” Maya asked out loud. “It was just four months ago that the two of you were at each other’s throats. I knew when I got you two together sparks would fly.”
“Whatever,” Alexa moaned. Leave it to Maya to think she had something to do with everything involving the two of them.
“So have you told Darius the good news about your promotion?” Maya asked. Maya was one of the first to know.
“Not as yet,” Alexa whispered, so Darius wouldn’t overhear.
“Alex, you have to tell him. You’re supposed to be in New York by June and May is almost here.”
“I know, I know,” Alexa groaned. “Don’t you think I know that? I’m just waiting for the right time.”
“I think the right time is now,” Maya shot back. “How are you going to try to rebuild a relationship based on secrets? You really need to approach this delicately. You both have experienced a great deal of pain from what happened in the past. You of all people, Alexa, should know the challenge you have before you with Darius.”
Alexa knew that Maya was right. Had she known that they had gone against all advice and eloped, she would be devastated.
“I can only pray that you are taking things slow,” Maya continued. “Trust me when I tell you to hold off getting involved physically right now.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because when two people who have a past such as you and Darius get involved sexually, you are placing yourselves in a dangerous position. When you share yourself with someone, you are creating a soul tie. After being apart for so long and getting back together physically you’re essentially taking on more baggage than what you left behind.”
“Darius and I are adults, Maya. I think we would be mature enough to leave the baggage in the past.”
“But you thought you left your heart in the past, too, now where did that get you?”
Alexa couldn’t reply because Darius had returned to the room carrying two pillows and the large blanket she requested. He flung the blanket out in the air so that it floated down perfectly over her, then fluffed up one of the pillows and placed it behind her back.
“Thanks, baby,” she whispered.
“Who you talking to?” he asked as he snuggled up beside her. He began licking playfully at her neck with his tongue.
“Maya,” she whispered.
“Hi, May!” Darius shouted, smiling mischievously in Alexa’s face as he began to undo the buttons on her blouse.
“What’s up, Captain D?” Maya shouted back.
“Maya says hi.”
Darius nodded and opened his mouth to reply when Alexa pressed her palm against his face. Darius poked out his lip in response making her smile.
“Well, I don’t want to hold you two lovebirds up. If I know you and Darius like I know I do, I know you two are probably naked now.”
Alexa laughed as she thought about some of their escapades. “Forget you.”
Before hanging up, Maya made a heartfelt plea that pulled at Alexa’s conscience. “Please, hon, trust Darius and your love for one another enough to do the right thing. Don’t do anything rash. Take your time and allow the healing process to take its time.” Alexa let Maya’s words marinate in her mind. If there was one thing Maya knew about her, it was her fear of confronting people. The thought of telling Darius made her so nervous that she felt faint
“I will,” she promised.
“I’m only saying this because I love you and I hope you know that.”
“I know and I love you, too,” Alexa returned.
“Good, now call me if you need me.”
Alexa placed the handset on the hook with a sigh.
“Are you sure that was Maya?” Darius asked with a strange look on his face.
“Yes, that was Maya,” Alexa said. “Who else could it be?”
“Sean,” he flatly replied.
She immediately pushed Darius away with irritation and sat up. “I can’t believe you said that.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized. “I just can’t believe that brother.”
“I told you he didn’t know about us, baby. I had to tell him.”
“I know.” He pulled her into his arms again. “I just can’t stand knowing that I am so far away from you when there are brothers here pushing up on you.”
“Darius. I could say the same about you, but I don’t.”
He nodded slowly at her response. “I know. I trust you.” He kissed her sweetly on the neck. “I’m just feeling a little out of it. I miss you like crazy. It’s hard being married and not living with your wife, especially when I think about you practically every moment every day. Then there’s my job. I am so ready to get out on my own that I can’t stand going to work sometimes. Plus, I’m still trying to keep up with my responsibilities at the school. I just need there to be some stability in one area in my life.” He took her hand into his. “We need to talk about what we are going to do.”
His words did not come as a surprise. She knew that it was inevitable that decisions had to be made.
“You know, I’m glad I decided to come.” Darius sighed with a squeeze of her hand. “You have this way of making me relax.”
He reached up and traced her jawline with his forefinger. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too,” she returned.
Darius’s visit was exactly what Alexa needed to get her through the week. The two spent most of the weekend in the house watching rented videos and eating takeout. Darius wasn’t up for sightseeing or a night out on the town. All he wanted to do was sit around her place, relax and enjoy his wife.
“Do you ever feel guilty?” Alexa sultrily asked one evening as the two were curled up on the sofa. Alexa, who was pulling up the rear, pressed her face against the baby-soft skin of Darius’s bare back. She kissed him tenderly, loving the feel of his flesh against her mouth. Her arm was possessively draped around his hip.
“About what?” Darius asked as he turned onto his back, giving her full access to him.
“About lying to our family and friends.”
“We aren’t lying,” he replied.
“The only reason why you say that is because nobody suspects anything, so you don’t have to make something up.”
He laughed lightly, knowing full well she was telling the truth.
“If you want to know the truth, I’m not ready to share you with the world yet. Call me selfish if you want, but I’m not eager to deal with the questions or comments.” He rolled onto his side and propped his bearded chin in his palm. “I want to give us the chance we missed nine years ago. I want you to feel good about me being your husband and you being my wife. I know that the distance makes it hard, but when we are together, it’s like the first time all over again. You make me want to love you harder and all I want to focus on is doing just that.”
Tears welled in Alexa’s eyes at his touching confession. She wanted the same, more than anything else as well. Leaning over, she planted a sweet, love-filled kiss on his mouth. For the first time, the anxiety that she had felt days before slowly evaporated as her whole being blossomed like a flower ready to receive love.
Alexa promised that she would make their trip to Kansas City worthwhile. She had just received a package from the Visitor’s Bureau in the mail and had made a mental note to preview the contents at lunchtime.
Once they were together, on fair territory, she would bring up the announcement about her new job. In fact, maybe moving to New York could be an answer to their prayers as far as the new business was concerned. Not only would it provide them with a fresh start, but it would also eliminate argument over their future living arrangements.
All Darius had to do was discuss the possibility with Bryant. It would be exciting starting their new lives together in a new city. She had to come up with a plan to sell New York City to him and present the idea to him the right way. Reaching into her desk drawer, Alexa removed a notepad. She drew a line down the center of the page and wrote pros on one side and cons on the other.
In the business she was in, she always found it beneficial to weigh the possibilities of a project before taking it on. Under the word pros, her hand lit across the page in fervor. After acquiring a good number of points, she turned to the opposing side. It was as if reflecting on the negative. Sometimes one negative point could be so detrimental that it could outweigh all positive potential. She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer that Darius would understand.