| p. 3 |
‘We reached…Demmin.’ Irene Bröker, So war’s! Lebenserinnerungen 1922–1997, Deutsches Tagebucharchiv Emmendingen, 131, p. 66. |
| p. 5 |
‘We got bogged…night’s rest.’ Ibid. |
| p. 6 |
‘Wretched night…insoles.’ Gustav Adolf Skibbe, Kriegstagebücher 1944–1945, 13.3, Deutsches Tagebucharchiv Emmendingen, 1344, 1, n. pag. |
| p. 6 |
‘Everything at sixes…overcrowding in town.’ Ibid., 15.3. |
| p. 6 |
‘without much of note’. Ibid., 24.3–27.3. |
| p. 7 |
‘She was forever…evenings.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, Lübeck, 1984, p. 77. |
| p. 8 |
‘They joined…wife and daughter!’ Ibid., p. 78. |
| p. 8 |
‘It wasn’t just…blessed, too.’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, Pommersche Zeitung, 1. April 1995, 13/95, p. 16. |
| p. 9 |
‘Crammed full of strangers’. Ibid. |
| p. 10 |
‘What will become…defend Demmin.’ Ibid. |
| p. 11 |
‘Things…fall apart.’ Wilhelm Damann, ‘Die letzten Kriegstage 1945 in Demmin’, Demminer Regionalmuseum, newspaper 5093, folio 2. |
| p. 11 |
‘beggared belief…a word.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 79. |
| p. 12 |
‘The Russians…River Oder!’ Ibid., p. 78. |
| p. 12 |
‘How naïve I was.’ Ibid., p. 67. |
| p. 12 |
‘Why didn’t I…ran its course.’ Ibid., p. 81. |
| p. 13 |
‘I had on my dark-grey…over my arm.’ Ibid., p. 80. |
| p. 13 |
‘for withdrawal purposes’. Gustav Adolf Skibbe, Kriegstagebücher, 28.4. |
| p. 13 |
‘Murder. Manslaughter.’ Ibid., 30.4. |
| p. 13 |
‘hasty retreat’. Ibid. |
| p. 13–14 |
‘Mum’s birthday…allowed out.’ Ibid., 29.4. |
| p. 14 |
‘The telephone…around the town.’ Irene Bröker, So war’s!, p. 67. |
| p. 15 |
‘But there we were…in a trap.’ Ibid., p. 68. |
| WAR WITHOUT LIMITS |
| p. 19 |
‘The time has come…a new war.’ Call from the 2nd Belorussian Front’s Council of War, 16 April 1945. |
| p. 20 |
‘I do not…no longer tenable.’ Adolf Hitler, Mein politisches Testament, Gegeben zu Berlin, den 29. April 1945, 4.00 Uhr, folio 4. |
| p. 21 |
‘the potential suicide par excellence’. Sebastian Haffner, Germany. Jekyll & Hyde. 1939—Deutschland von innen betrachtet, Berlin, 1998, p. 24. |
| p. 21 |
‘that the surrender…is impossible.’ Adolf Hitler, Mein politisches Testament, folio 6. |
| p. 22 |
‘I don’t want…circumstance.’ Adolf Hitler to Otto Günsche, in: Walter Kempowski, Swansong 1945: A Collective Diary of the Last Days of the Third Reich, tr. Shaun Whiteside, London: Granta, 2014, p 214. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| p. 22 |
‘Didn’t sleep…make it?’ Gustav Adolf Skibbe, Kriegstagebücher, 30.4. |
| p. 23 |
‘Many, many people…rare sight now.’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, p. 16. |
| p. 24 |
‘Herr Stoldt…before they left.’ Ibid., p. 44. |
| p. 24 |
‘If only…future held?’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 81. |
| p. 25 |
‘We managed…beloved Demmin.’ Ibid. |
| THE EYES OF THE ENEMY |
| p. 28 |
‘I myself…capitulation.’ Adolf Hitler, Mein politisches Testament, folio 6. |
| p. 28–29 |
‘It is our will…my people.’ Ibid., folio 3. |
| p. 30 |
‘We heard…in the distance.’ Irene Bröker, So war’s!, p. 67. |
| p. 30 |
‘When we heard explosions…in my ears.’ Ibid., p. 68. |
| p. 31 |
‘He told us…into the sky.’ Ibid., pp. 68–9. |
| p. 31 |
‘When we got back…as far as Gnoien.’ Gustav Adolf Skibbe, Kriegstagebücher, 30.4. |
| p. 32 |
‘We young women…first Russian attack.’ Maria Buske, ‘Erinnerungen’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945. Berichte—Erinnerungen—Dokumente, Schwerin, 2007, p. 50. |
| p. 33 |
‘He was too intelligent…in particular.’ Wilhelm Damann, ‘Die letzten Kriegstage 1945 in Demmin’, folio 2. |
| p. 33 |
‘Old Frau Rentner…a few Russians!’ Ibid. |
| p. 34 |
‘I see his act…played a part too.’ Ibid., folio 3. |
| p. 34 |
‘Gunshots cracked…out of the cellar.’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, p. 16. |
| p. 37 |
‘His head…on her face.’ Hitler’s valet Heinz Linge, in: Walter Kempowski, Swansong 1945, p.296. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| p. 38 |
‘Look, that’s…on fire.’ Erich Mansfeld to staff sergeant Hermann Karnau, in: ibid., p. 297. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| p. 38 |
‘Why they came…at the time.’ Norbert Buske, ‘Das Geschehen’, in Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945, p. 14. |
| p. 38 |
‘A guard was posted…of his watch.’ Maria Buske, ‘Erinnerungen’, in: ibid., p. 50. |
| p. 39 |
‘My mother…all over Luisenstrasse.’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, p. 16. |
| p. 39 |
‘but an uneasy…crept over us’. Ibid. |
| p. 40 |
‘The Russians cut off children’s tongues!’ Karl Schlösser, conversation with the author, Demmin, 15 April 2014. |
| p. 41 |
‘One of them…with his rifle.’ Ibid. |
| p. 41 |
‘The lovely big farm…Russians and Poles.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 82. |
| p. 42 |
‘Several Russians…in a high arc.’ Ibid., p. 83. |
| p. 42–43 |
‘But in the end…were saying.’ Else R., ‘Brief’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945, p. 31. |
| p. 43 |
‘We immediately started…for a good hour.’ Ibid., pp. 31–2. |
| p. 44 |
‘Ilse was…it’s not possible!”’ Ibid., p. 32. |
| p. 44 |
‘We cowered there…bundle of fear.’ Norbert Buske, ‘Das Geschehen’, in: ibid., p. 16. |
| TOWER OF DARKNESS |
| p. 47 |
‘It was a cold…burning town.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 83. |
| p. 48 |
‘Peering apprehensively…Fire!’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, p. 16. |
| p. 49 |
‘Day and night…clouds of smoke.’ Ibid. |
| p. 50 |
‘Our beautiful tall…to be seen.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 86. |
| p. 50 |
‘We must all get out of here.’ Karl Schlösser, conversation with the author. |
| p. 51 |
‘We’re going…your father!’ Karl Schlösser, in: ‘Tief vergraben, nicht dran rühren’, Spiegel Spezial, 30.3.2005. |
| p. 51–52 |
‘I am afraid…awful truth.’ Else R., ‘Brief’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945, p. 31. |
| p. 52 |
‘For you, Else.’ Ibid., p. 32. |
| p. 52 |
‘I was all confused…hand in hand.’ Ibid., p. 33. |
| p. 53 |
‘“This is the last…own blood.”’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 84. |
| p. 53 |
‘I asked them…on their way.’ Ibid. |
| p. 54 |
‘When my father…the Trebel.’ Ibid., p. 85. |
| p. 57 |
‘My mother…like an avalanche.’ Lotte-Lore Martens, ‘Erinnerungen zum Kriegsende in Demmin’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945, p. 26. |
| p. 57–58 |
‘With the smoke…in the water.’ Ibid., p. 28. |
| p. 58 |
‘Some women…I wonder?’ Ibid. |
| p. 62 |
‘Nobody knew…every night.’ Irene Bröker, So war’s!, p. 70. |
| p. 62 |
‘Dr P. told us…washing ashore.’ Ibid. |
| p. 63 |
‘No one will ever…of darkness.’ Ibid., p. 71. |
| p. 63 |
‘At last…after that.’ Ibid. |
| p. 64 |
‘He pulled…at it bravely.’ Ibid., p. 73. |
| p. 64 |
‘When the woman…held me back.’ Ibid. |
| p. 64 |
‘All this sounds…will understand.’ Ibid. |
| THE GHOSTS OF DEMMIN |
| p. 66 |
‘The deserted dental practice…the horror.’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, p. 16. |
| p. 66 |
‘A heavy blanket…dead bodies.’ Karl Schlösser, conversation with the author. |
| p. 67 |
‘The sight of the riverbank…worthless.’ Lotte-Lore Martens, ‘Erinnerungen’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945, p. 29. |
| p. 69 |
‘Another thing…at a later date.’ Else R., ‘Brief’, in: ibid., p. 35. |
| p. 69 |
‘veterinary surgeon’. Wareneingangsbuch der Demminer Friedhofsgärtnerei 1945. |
| p. 71 |
‘Death by suicide (hanging)’ etc. Sterbebücher des Standesamtes Demmin 1945, vol. 1 (1–300), vol. 2 (301–700), vol. 3 (701–1100). |
| A VOICE FROM THE BOMBED-OUT TEMPLE |
| p. 76 |
‘The parish hall was bursting.’ Jakob Kronika, Der Untergang Berlins, Flensburg, 1946, p. 40. |
| p. 76 |
‘Something of a sense…way they sing.’ Ibid., p. 51. |
| p. 76 |
‘We have no right…strange service.’ Ibid., p. 40. |
| p. 77 |
‘There is risk…no way out.’ Ibid., p. 41. |
| p. 77 |
‘I can’t carry on…madness and crime.’ Ibid., p. 18. |
| p. 78 |
‘But the tyranny…rule of evil.’ Ibid., p. 19. |
| p. 78 |
‘war’s rebellion against peace’. Ibid., p. 9. |
| p. 79 |
‘Wilhelm II…yesterday.’ Ibid., p. 40. |
| p. 79 |
‘Goebbels has changed…last resort.’ Ibid., p. 39. |
| p. 79 |
‘The brunt of responsibility…Dr Goebbels.’ Ibid., p. 41. |
| A WAVE ROLLING INTO THE REICH |
| p. 80 |
‘The thought of living on…hopelessness of victory.’ Christian Goeschel, Selbstmord im Dritten Reich, Berlin, 2011, p. 213. |
| p. 81–82 |
‘It was still hard…in public.’ Hans Graf von Lehndorff, Ostpreussisches Tagebuch. Aufzeichnungen eine Arztes aus den Jahren 1945–1947, Munich, 2005, p. 9. |
| p. 82 |
‘They must all…“and our country?”’ Ibid. |
| p. 82 |
‘The Führer…he’d sooner gas us.’ Ibid., p. 18. |
| p. 82 |
‘It doesn’t really matter…now.’ Ibid. |
| p. 83 |
‘They are not…say, food.’ Ibid., pp. 24–5. |
| p. 84 |
‘We return to Juditten…Lord’s Prayer.’ Ibid., p. 25. |
| p. 84 |
‘As we’re coming…“with gas.”’ Ibid. |
| p. 85 |
‘to fight the risk of infection posed by suicide’. Ibid., p. 62. |
| p. 85 |
‘A thorn is piercing…It is enough.’ Ibid., p. 75. |
| p. 85 |
‘There’s nothing more…nothing impossible.’ Ibid., p. 76. |
| p. 85 |
‘All feeling…dead inside?’ Ibid., p. 153. |
| p. 86 |
‘Dead bodies…in the beds.’ ‘Erlebnisbericht aus L.S. aus Groß-Nappern’, in: Die Vertreibung der deutschen Bevölkerung aus den Gebieten östlich der Oder-Neiße, Munich, 2004, vol. 1, no. 7, p. 25. |
| p. 86 |
‘Shudder after shudder…all the family.’ Ibid., no. 8, p. 31. |
| p. 86 |
‘The most senior…last night.’ Ibid., no. 14, p. 59. |
| p. 86 |
‘In the course…in the tree.’ Ibid., no. 53, p. 208. |
| p. 86–87 |
‘When I said…that very day.’ Ibid., no. 59, p. 229. |
| p. 87 |
‘Mass graves…their own lives.’ Ibid., no. 61, p. 237. |
| p. 87 |
‘It’s hardly surprising…that terrible night.’ Ibid., no. 68, p. 266. |
| p. 87 |
‘In the forest…hanged themselves.’ Ibid., no. 72, p. 274. |
| p. 87 |
‘Several Germans…slitting their wrists.’ Ibid., no. 96, p. 360. |
| p. 87 |
‘Young Frau Lemke…his pistol.’ Ibid., no. 105, p. 399. |
| p. 87 |
‘In her despair…herself.’ Ibid., no. 116, p. 432. |
| p. 87 |
‘In the night…days later.’ Ibid., no. 122, p. 453. |
| p. 87 |
‘Countless suicides…indescribable.’ Ibid., no. 127, p. 468. |
| p. 87 |
‘My uncle…and ran away.’ Ibid., no. 129, pp. 475–6. |
| p. 87–88 |
‘The list of people…longer and longer.’ Ibid., vol. 2, no. 8, p. 29. |
| p. 88 |
‘On the evening…suicide.’ Ibid., no. 10, p. 35. |
| THE TEACHER AND HIS WIFE |
| p. 89 |
‘The war is over. The guns are silent.’ Hildegard Theinert, ‘Der letzte Eintrag’, in: Hans Richard Schnittny, Erinnerungen, Deutsches Tagebucharchiv Emmendingen 1106, p. 12. |
| p. 90 |
‘The rumours…“become of us?”’ Ibid. |
| p. 91 |
‘SS, field gendarmerie…upon us.’ Ibid. |
| p. 91 |
‘Johannes had…that evening.’ Ibid. |
| p. 91 |
‘Life would…did that.’ Ibid., p. 12–13. |
| p. 91 |
‘We would…together.’ Ibid., p. 12. |
| p. 92 |
‘Glittering…rippling waters.’ Ibid., p. 13. |
| p. 92 |
‘I have said…happiness.’ Ibid. |
| p. 92 |
‘How lovely…the fortress.’ Ibid. |
| p. 92 |
‘The Russians…more and more.’ Ibid. |
| p. 92 |
‘Only a little…forever.’ Ibid. |
| p. 93 |
‘Who will…any meaning?’ Ibid. |
| HELL MACHINE |
| p. 94 |
‘I have shot…household.’ Suicide note from Generalmajor a.D. Karl Bernhard Wilhelm von Brozowski, in: Ursula Baumann, Vom Recht auf den eigenen Tod. Die Geschichte des Suizids vom 18. bis zum 20. Jahrhundert, Weimar, 2001, p. 377. |
| p. 96 |
‘I remember…all dead.’ Ludmila Woloshina, in: Eleonore Wolf, ‘Das Kriegsende 1945 in Neubrandenburg,’ in: Zeitgeschichte regional. Mitteilungen aus Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, 9:1, July 2005, p. 7. |
| p. 96 |
‘As I record…your hands?’ Renate Meinhof, ‘Das Tagebuch der Maria Meinhof. April 1945 bis März 1946’, in: Pommern. Eine Spurensuche, Reinbek bei Hamburg, 2006, p. 15. |
| p. 97 |
‘Sunday dawned…church.’ Ibid. |
| p. 97 |
‘Then the grandmothers…hanging.’ Ibid., p. 54–55. |
| p. 98 |
‘Throw my children in after me.’ Ibid., p. 70. |
| p. 98 |
‘I could describe…fates.’ Ibid., p. 56. |
| p. 99 |
‘hell machine’. Günter Jacobi, in: Nils Köhler, ‘Das Drama von Alt Teterin 1945—ein Projektbericht’, in: Zeitgeschichte regional. Mitteilungen aus Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, 14:1, July 2010, p. 93. |
| DEATH IN THE WEST |
| p. 101 |
‘Aged twelve…grown-ups.’ Johann Radein, Wir sind wieder einmal davon gekommen, Deutsches Tagebucharchiv Emmendingen 1300, p. 200. |
| p. 101–02 |
‘I don’t dare…intimate scene.’ Ibid. |
| p. 102 |
‘My friend and I…told them so.’ Ibid., p. 201. |
| p. 102 |
‘It’s over…to that.’ Ibid. |
| p. 103 |
‘I’ll never forget…cemetery.’ Ibid. |
| p. 103 |
‘year of…and orphans’. Leopold Reitz, Jahre im Dunkel, Neustadt an der Weinstraße, 1959, p. 46. |
| p. 103 |
‘Death is…matter of course.’ Ibid., p. 39. |
| p. 104 |
‘The motto…be dire.’ Ibid., p. 130. |
| p. 104 |
‘Not only…to blame.’ Ibid., p. 106. |
| p. 104 |
‘Hanged, shot…and drink.’ Ibid., p. 152. |
| p. 104 |
‘The list…talked out of it.’ Ibid., p. 199. |
| p. 105 |
‘I could see…clear eyes.’ Mathilde Wolff-Mönckeberg, On the Other Side: Letters to My Children from Germany 1940–1946, tr. Ruth Evans, London: Persephone Books, 2007, p. 30–31. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| p. 105 |
‘as if she…tomorrow.’ Ibid., p. 101. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| p. 105 |
‘I am awfully…compels me.’ In: Christian Goeschel, Selbstmord im Dritten Reich, p. 252. |
| p. 105 |
‘A friend…the only one.’ Doris E., in: Lothar Steinbach, Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Glaube? Ehemalige Nationalsozialisten und Zeitzeugen berichten über ihr Leben im Dritten Reich, Bonn, 1983, p. 94. |
| p. 106 |
‘A wave of suicides…they die.’ Udo von Alvensleben, Lauter Abschiede. Tagebuch im Kriege, Frankfurt, 1971, p. 448. |
| p. 106 |
‘Given my conduct…my shame.’ Horst Wilking, in: Walter Kempowski, Swansong 1945, p. 316. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| THE WAXWORKS OF LEIPZIG |
| p. 108 |
‘What kind…average man?’ Margaret Bourke-White, ‘Dear Fatherland, Rest Quietly’: A Report on the Collapse of Hitler’s ‘Thousand Years’, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1946, p. 61. |
| p. 109 |
‘I know…individual terror.’ Ibid. |
| p. 109 |
‘Death seemed the only escape.’ Ibid., p. 43. |
| p. 109 |
‘During the retreat…Americans came.’ Ibid., p. 45. |
| p. 110 |
‘Making myself…ever had.’ Ibid. |
| p. 110 |
‘In its brief flare…fast enough.’ Ibid., p. 46. |
| p. 110 |
‘We didn’t know! We didn’t know!’ Ibid., p. 73. |
| p. 111 |
‘Hurry to the Rathaus…waxworks.’ Ibid., p. 49. |
| p. 111 |
‘Reclining…on the desk.’ Ibid., p. 50. |
| p. 112 |
‘In a nearby room…beside him.’ Ibid. |
| p. 113 |
‘beautiful landscape…by schizophrenics’. Lee Miller, ‘Germany, The War That Is Won’, in: Antony Penrose (ed.), Lee Miller’s War: Photographer and Correspondent with the Allies in Europe 1944–45, Boston: Bullfinch Press, 1992, p. 161. |
| p. 113 |
‘The love of death…themselves.’ Ibid., p. 176. |
| p. 114 |
‘A girl…waxen and dusty.’ Ibid. |
| p. 115 |
‘Our glorious idea…them myself.’ Magda Goebbels, letter to Harald Quandt, 28 April 1945. |
| CITY WITHOUT HOPE |
| p. 119 |
‘They should have been…indefinitely.’ Margret Boveri, Tage des Überlebens. Berlin 1945, Munich, 1970, p. 8. |
| p. 120 |
‘I’d had a small tin…when inhaled.’ Ibid., p. 108. |
| p. 120 |
‘In the last days…for bazookas.’ Ibid., p. 109. |
| p. 121–22 |
‘Can we really…life and death?’ Jacob Kronika, Der Untergang Berlins, p. 42. |
| p. 122 |
‘This paralysed nation…life and future.’ Ibid., p. 76. |
| p. 122 |
‘Not many people…no difference.’ Ibid., p. 91. |
| p. 123 |
‘Presumably a mother…never know.’ Ibid., p. 92. |
| p. 123 |
‘Death will catch…sweeping the country!’ Ibid. |
| p. 123 |
‘There are droves…right moment.’ Ibid., p. 124. |
| p. 123–24 |
‘We see something…dead Germans.’ Ibid. |
| p. 124 |
‘If you are dishonoured…but to die.’ Ruth Andreas-Friedrich, Schauplatz Berlin. Tagebuchaufzeichnungen 1945 bis 1948, Frankfurt am Main, 1984, p. 23. |
| p. 124 |
‘It’s over…He went.’ Friederike Grensemann in: Walter Kempowski, Swansong, p. 70. |
| p. 124 |
‘It was so hard…my throat!’ Ibid., p. 289. |
| p. 126 |
‘It is up to us…a sin.’ Jakob Kronika, Der Untergang Berlins, p. 194. p. 126 ‘Who are we…unbearable.’ Ibid., p. 193. |
| THE DARK FIGURE |
| p. 131 |
‘In their fear…wiped out.’ Letter from municipal employee I.R. from Schönlanke, Netzekreis, Pomerania, in: Die Vertreibung der deutschen Bevölkerung, vol. 2, no. 196, p. 214. |
| THE WOUND THAT WAS GERMANY |
| p. 135 |
‘The din from…glorious mystery.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit. Mein Weg in der Hitler-Jugend, Munich, 1979, p. 11. (Translator’s note: the translations from this book are my own, but for the full text see Geoffrey Strachan’s translation, Melita Maschmann, Account Rendered: A Dossier on my Former Self, tr. by Geoffrey Strachan, Lexington, Massachusetts: Plunkett Lake Press, 2016.) |
| p. 136 |
‘She loved…in her love.’ Ibid., p. 10. |
| p. 136 |
‘Even before…dear and vulnerable.’ Ibid. |
| p. 137 |
‘That’s how wide…German society.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen. Berichte meines Lebens 1907–1972, Deutsches Tagebucharchiv Emmendingen 1479, p. 63. |
| p. 137 |
‘One belief…for EVERYTHING.’ Ibid., p. 87. |
| p. 138 |
‘The age into which…a new world war.’ Ilse Cordes, Erinnerungen an den Sohn 1921–1941, Deutsches Tagebucharchiv Emmendigen 1428/II, p. 1. |
| p. 139 |
‘The pair of them…darling mother!’ Ibid. |
| p. 139 |
‘And so…of his life.’ Ibid., p. 2. |
| p. 140 |
‘Day after day…from despair.’ Ibid., p. 3. |
| p. 140 |
‘It wasn’t possible…a poor country.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 14. |
| p. 140 |
‘It was an awful…bitter resort.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen, p. 78. |
| p. 141 |
‘I know I’m lonely.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft. Eine Jugend in Nationalsozialismus, Tübingen, 2002, p. 31. |
| p. 141 |
‘But there was…more keenly.’ Ibid., p. 50. |
| p. 141 |
‘The men wore…large eyes.’ Ibid. |
| p. 142 |
‘Sex, murder…Particularly bloodshed.’ Sefton Delmer, Trail Sinister: An Autobiography, Volume One, London: Secker & Warburg, 1961, p. 75. |
| p. 142 |
‘Looking back… Vesuvius eruption.’ Ibid. |
| p. 142–43 |
‘Complete liberty…compartmentalising.’ Stéphane Roussel, Les Collines de Berlin: un regard sur l’Allemagne, Paris: Éditions Mazarine, 1985, p. 30. |
| p. 143 |
‘It did not surprise…hungry too.’ Sebastian Haffner, Defying Hitler: A Memoir, tr. Oliver Pretzel, London: Phoenix, 2011, p. 48. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| p. 143 |
‘Indeed, my father…the times.’ Ibid. |
| p. 144 |
‘the uncurbed, cynical…end in itself’. Ibid., p. 44. |
| p. 144 |
‘A generation…chaos and peril.’ Ibid., p. 57. |
| HUNGRY AND FANATICAL |
| p. 145 |
‘Indeed, the mood…save the world.’ Sebastian Haffner, Defying Hitler, p. 53. |
| p. 146 |
‘What impressed me…than ever before.’ Sefton Delmer, Trail Sinister, p. 97. |
| p. 148 |
‘Would-be intruders…up to anyone.’ Reiner Hamm, Erinnerungen, German Diaries Archive Emmendingen, 1815, p. 81. |
| p. 148 |
‘It was depressing…nothing moved.’ Ibid., p. 82. |
| p. 149 |
‘My father was moved to tears.’ Ibid., p. 85. |
| p. 149 |
‘We Germans prefer…and waiting.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen, p. 88. |
| p. 150 |
‘It was mass…a revelation.’ Ibid., p. 92. |
| p. 150 |
‘was that he…about Versailles’. Ibid. |
| p. 150–51 |
‘When they talked…including us.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 58. |
| p. 151 |
‘He said the…save Germany.’ Ibid., pp. 60–61. |
| p. 151 |
‘Songs are sung…going on.’ Ibid., p. 61. |
| p. 151 |
‘There is something…fire is dancing.’ Ibid., p. 62. |
| p. 152 |
‘I have become…found a saviour.’ M. Hoffmann, Der Retter (n.d.), in: Henrik Eberle (ed.), Briefe an Hitler. Ein Volk schreibt seinem Führer. Unbekannte Dokumente aus Moskauer Archiven—zum ersten Mal veröffentlicht, Bergisch Gladbach, 2007, p. 117. |
| p. 152 |
‘But no one…no convictions whatsoever.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei. 20 Jahre Nationalsozialismus 1923–1943. Ein Tatsachenbericht, Zurich, 1944, p. 18. |
| p. 152 |
‘Brüning may not…that landslide.’ Ibid., p. 24. |
| TORCHES IN WINTER, VIOLETS IN MARCH |
| p. 153 |
‘I have nothing…southern Germany.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 26. |
| p. 153–54 |
‘On the whole…very dejected indeed.’ Ibid., p. 31. |
| p. 155 |
‘No rallying cry…community.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 8. |
| p. 155–56 |
‘Her dark eyes…appealed to me.’ Ibid., p. 7. |
| p. 156 |
‘What was I…drift with it.’ Ibid., pp. 8–9. |
| p. 157 |
‘It was a matter…life and death.’ Ibid., p. 9. |
| p. 157 |
‘I wanted…of my contemporaries.’ Ibid. |
| p. 157 |
‘People shout…as possible.’ Stéphane Roussel, Les Collines de Berlin, p. 62. |
| p. 158 |
‘There are few…the theatre.’ Sebastian Haffner, Defying Hitler, p. 86. |
| p. 158 |
‘but I did…interpret it’. Ibid., p. 85. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| p. 159 |
‘All this was…business as usual.’ Ibid., p. 91. |
| p. 160 |
‘His eyes widened…the sun.’ Sefton Delmer, Trail Sinister, p. 149. |
| p. 161 |
‘Hitler himself…German fatherland.’ Ibid., p. 151. |
| p. 162 |
‘In 1933…took second place.’ Reiner Hamm, Erinnerungen, p. 93. |
| p. 162 |
‘We were surrounded…in Munich.’ Ibid., 97. |
| p. 163 |
‘The faster you act…conviction.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, pp. 31–32. |
| p. 165 |
‘As my parents…sacrifice.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 17. |
| p. 165 |
‘Because I was…hoi polloi.’ Ibid., p. 19. |
| p. 165 |
‘That’s why…one big family.’ Ibid., p. 21. |
| p. 166–67 |
‘Many who had…everyone else.’ Stéphane Roussel, Les Collines de Berlin, p. 90. |
| p. 167 |
‘The next time…tailor-made suit.’ Ibid., p. 92. |
| PART OF SOMETHING GREATER |
| p. 169 |
‘The solemnity…sense of importance.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 114. |
| p. 169 |
‘It is the first…to the heart.’ Ibid., p. 115. |
| p. 169 |
‘I am no longer…name is Germany.’ Ibid., p. 116. |
| p. 170 |
‘We lived like…Brandenburg!’ Ilse Cordes, Erinnerungen an den Sohn, p. 13. |
| p. 170 |
‘Just look…frighteningly pale.’ Ibid., p. 20. |
| p. 171 |
‘These are difficult…deep filial love.’ Ibid., p. 15. |
| p. 171 |
‘Like all those…always would,’ Johann Radein, Wir sind wieder einmal, p. 14. |
| p. 171 |
‘The oath of allegiance…overwhelming.’ Ibid., p. 67. |
| p. 171–72 |
‘It’s quite an experience…as we go.’ Ibid., p. 91. |
| p. 173 |
‘My youth…silent majority.’ Lore Walb, Ich, die Alte—Ich, die Junge. Konfrontation mit meinen Tagebüchern 1933–1945, Berlin, 1997, p. 24. |
| p. 173 |
‘I have a clear…speaking.’ Ibid., p. 72. |
| p. 173 |
‘One for all…no community.’ Ibid. |
| p. 174 |
‘Just as, in my dream…Hitler’s picture.’ Ibid., p. 88. |
| p. 174 |
‘We were very popular…somehow special.’ Ibid., p. 108. |
| p. 174 |
‘rose daily…Führer’s will!’ Sebastian Haffner, Defying Hitler, p. 159. |
| p. 175 |
‘Now we were…fear of me.’ Ibid., p. 210. |
| p. 175 |
‘We trusted…civilian life?’ Ibid., p. 231. |
| p. 175 |
‘You are under…inhuman.’ Ibid., p. 236. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| AN INNER RIFT |
| p. 178 |
‘One has no right…these lines.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 21. |
| p. 178 |
‘Our parents may have…natural.’ Ibid., p. 41. |
| p. 178 |
‘At the time…of life, then.’ Ibid., p. 43. |
| p. 179 |
‘But it went against…no harm.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 78. |
| p. 180 |
‘I pushed it…stench pervaded.’ Ibid., p. 80. |
| p. 180 |
‘We sang the same…depression.’ Johann Radein, Wir sind wieder einmal, p. 104. |
| p. 180 |
‘fell into a…very lonely’. Ibid. |
| p. 181 |
‘Strangely enough…against the horror.’ Sebastian Haffner, Defying Hitler, p. 114. |
| p. 181 |
‘The only way…of reality.’ Ibid., p. 169. (Translation slightly modified.) |
| THE HAPPY YEARS |
| p. 184 |
‘There was something…in Germany.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 54. |
| p. 184 |
‘I filled…long in coming,’ Ibid., p. 55. |
| p. 184 |
‘Everyone wanted…that evening.’ Ibid., pp. 61–62. |
| p. 185 |
‘Dad was full…right.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 76. |
| p. 185 |
‘I often sat…proud of me.’ Ibid., p. 97. |
| p. 186 |
‘The sight of him…of life.’ Lore Walb, Ich, die Alte—Ich, die Junge, pp. 35–36. |
| p. 187 |
‘We are living…thick and fast.’ Ibid., p. 75. |
| p. 187 |
‘If he could only…his goal.’ Ibid., p. 76. |
| p. 188 |
‘Anyone who had…with him ideologically.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 40. |
| p. 188 |
‘You’ve grown small-minded…had a Hitler.’ Ibid., p. 43. |
| p. 189 |
‘He had conquered…satisfied.’ Ibid., 74. |
| IN LOVE WITH THE FÜHRER |
| p. 190 |
‘Germany…with Hitler.’ Sefton Delmer, Trail Sinister, p. 282. |
| p. 190 |
‘They were adoring…when to cheer.’ Ibid. |
| p. 191 |
‘[T]hey all…authority over others.’ Ibid., p. 283. |
| p. 192 |
‘Suddenly, the storm…poured in.’ Stéphane Roussel, Les Collines de Berlin, p. 74. |
| p. 192 |
‘Since Hitler…without reaching him.’ Ibid. |
| p. 192 |
‘[T]hey’re yours…and yours.’ Ibid., p. 76. |
| p. 193 |
‘It wasn’t you he was talking to.’ Ibid., p. 79. |
| p. 194 |
‘The Führer’s emotive…full of energy.’ Johann Radein, Wir sind wieder einmal, p. 184. |
| p. 195 |
‘His blue eyes…see every flaw.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen, p. 103. |
| p. 195 |
‘Those years…reality set in.’ Martin Sieg, Im Schatten der Wolffschanze. Hitlerjunge auf der Suche nach dem Sinn, Münster, 1997, p. 24. |
| p. 196 |
‘I saw Hitler…gave me his hand.’ Ibid., p. 61. |
| p. 197 |
‘I felt somehow…almost numb.’ Ibid. |
| THE SMELL OF FEAR |
| p. 199 |
‘For a second…fait accompli.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 58. |
| p. 199 |
‘I pushed the memory…of my life.’ Ibid. |
| p. 199 |
‘All this could…fast asleep?’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 124. |
| p. 200 |
‘But you and I…do you hear!’ Ibid., p. 125. |
| p. 200 |
‘I clearly recall…any of it!’ Lore Walb, Ich, die Alte—Ich, die Junge, p. 120. |
| p. 201 |
‘I ask him…clear to me.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 82. |
| p. 202 |
‘Dear God!...nights on end.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 67. |
| p. 202 |
‘He couldn’t…How naïve I was!’ Ibid. |
| p. 203 |
‘Nobody joined…anthem either.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 95. |
| p. 203 |
‘I remember…everywhere.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 59. |
| p. 204 |
‘Anyone who has…way of life.’ Ibid., p. 64. |
| VICTORS |
| p. 205 |
‘Last great test of fate.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen, p. 181. |
| p. 205 |
‘It was only now…our fathers.’ Ibid., p. 188. |
| p. 206 |
‘It didn’t occur…and necessary.’ Ibid. |
| p. 206 |
‘I said to myself…necessity.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 73. |
| p. 206 |
‘I developed…that foreign nation.’ Ibid., p. 71. |
| p. 207 |
‘Our life…difficult duty.’ Ibid., p. 76. |
| p. 208 |
‘My dears…I’ve made it!’ Ilse Cordes, Erinnerungen an den Sohn, Anhang: Feldpostbrief von Hermann-Friedrich Cordes vom 1.2.1941. |
| p. 208 |
‘It is a proud…and detached.’ Ibid., 4.5.1941. |
| p. 209 |
‘Isn’t it terrific?…you.’ Lore Walb, Ich, die Alte—Ich, die Junge, p. 177. |
| p. 209 |
‘The words and cadences…I weep…’ Ibid., p. 131. |
| p. 209 |
‘World history…to be German.’ Ibid., p. 141. |
| p. 210 |
‘It’s strange to think…living in.’ Ibid., p. 186. |
| p. 210 |
‘For the first time…wrong.’ Ibid., p. 200. |
| A SENSE OF FOREBODING |
| p. 211 |
‘Mum’s standing…for real.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 173. |
| p. 212 |
‘That moment…wisely and responsibly.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 97. |
| p. 212 |
‘The people around me…to rain.’ Ibid. |
| p. 213 |
‘My dears…in advance.’ Ilse Cordes, Erinnerungen an den Sohn, Anhang: Feldpostbrief von Hermann-Friedrich Cordes vom 21.6.1941. |
| p. 213 |
‘I’d like to embrace…your Reich!’ Ibid., 8.7.1941. |
| p. 213 |
‘Despite the hard blows…premature end.’ Ibid., p. 1. |
| p. 214 |
‘He didn’t give…higher things.’ Ibid., p. 22. |
| p. 215 |
‘We received quantities…rather think not.’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen, p. 72. |
| p. 215 |
‘By then…would end up.’ Ibid. |
| p. 215 |
‘They all had…suddenly all alone.’ Ibid., p. 75. |
| p. 216 |
‘The war had carved…untouched.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 121. |
| p. 216 |
‘Germany, he said…point of this war.’ Ibid., p. 129. |
| p. 217–18 |
‘I was often…what was happening.’ Johann Radein, Wir sind wieder einmal, p. 71. |
| p. 218 |
‘Fear, pain and grief…her grief.’ Ibid., p. 45. |
| p. 218–19 |
‘He turned up…remained cool.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, pp. 200–201. |
| p. 219 |
‘The days ticked on…stopping.’ Ibid., p. 202. |
| p. 219 |
‘I remember…gave me the chills.’ Ibid., p. 204. |
| p. 220 |
‘A German girl…do everything.’ Ibid., p. 208. |
| p. 220 |
‘His hate-filled eyes…murderers, too?’ Ibid. p. 209. |
| p. 221 |
‘That day…without realising.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 113. |
| p. 221 |
‘What was evil…desperate situation.’ Ibid. |
| THE SHADOW OF OTHERS |
| p. 222 |
‘For reasons…damage.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 128. |
| p. 223 |
‘Those people…killed there.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 219. |
| p. 223 |
‘From then on…hidden in shadow.’ Ibid., p. 220. |
| p. 224 |
‘What did the Poles do to her?’ Ibid., 225. |
| p. 224 |
‘We have to…will be awful.’ Ibid., p. 226. |
| p. 225 |
‘If the Führer…we think.’ Johann Radein, Wir sind wieder einmal, p. 222. |
| p. 225 |
‘That traumatic incident…friend and me.’ Ibid. |
| p. 225 |
‘But what will come after defeat?’ Ibid., p. 224. |
| p. 226 |
‘We have to stay…win the war.’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 129. |
| p. 226 |
‘If Germany…will be killed.’ Ibid., p. 138. |
| FROZEN SOUL |
| p. 228 |
‘I have to go…going to end?’ René Juvet, Ich war dabei, p. 153. |
| p. 228 |
‘No aspect…contradictions and extremes.’ Ibid., p. 155. |
| p. 229 |
‘This speechlessness…felt it myself.’ Johann Radein, Wir sind wieder einmal, p. 214. |
| p. 230 |
‘Reluctantly I take…kitchen wall.’ Ibid., p. 262. |
| p. 230 |
‘I was ashamed…more than ever.’ Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 237. |
| p. 230 |
‘In the chill…soul was frozen.’ Ibid., p. 221. |
| p. 231 |
‘I could see…I had said.’ Ibid., p. 259. |
| p. 231 |
‘We’d got into…allow for collapse.’ Ibid., p. 259. |
| p. 231 |
‘Everything I’d built…falling apart.’ Ibid., p. 263. |
| p. 232 |
‘Even at this stage…filled the room.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen, p. 338. |
| p. 233 |
‘Those who had led…with them.’ Ibid. |
| p. 233 |
‘I was quite certain…go with it.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 175. |
| p. 234 |
‘A swarming frenzy…danse macabre.’ Ibid., pp. 156–157. |
| p. 235 |
‘I was filled…end up surviving.’ Ibid. p. 175. |
| p. 235 |
‘I had no plans for the future.’ Ibid. p. 180. |
| p. 236 |
‘What fate…to be destroyed???’ Lore Walb, Ich, die Alte—Ich, die Junge, p. 253. |
| p. 236 |
‘But we mustn’t...end of the war?’ Ibid., p. 301. |
| p. 237 |
‘My mind alone…never again.’ Ibid., p. 344. |
| p. 237 |
‘Better dead than slaves.’ Martin Sieg, Im Schatten der Wolfsschanze, pp. 76–77. |
| p. 237 |
‘What possible reason…dark thoughts.’ Ibid., 168. |
| p. 237–38 |
‘Your mum said…lost you already.’ Ibid., p. 93. |
| CURTAINING OFF REALITY |
| p. 241 |
‘Our philosophy…than reason.’ Baldur von Schirach, Hitler-Jugend. Idee und Gestalt, Leipzig, 1934, p. 130. |
| p. 242 |
‘The past…illusion.’ Martin Sieg, Im Schatten der Wolfsschanze, p. 87. |
| p. 242 |
‘That letter…with the past.’ Ibid., pp. 95–96. |
| p. 243 |
‘Life had slammed…to yesterday.’ Ibid., p. 97. |
| p. 243 |
‘That way I…self-destruction.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 195. |
| p. 244 |
‘There was only one…altogether.’ Ibid., p. 205. |
| p. 244 |
‘The destruction…didn’t add up.’ Julius Posener, In Deutschland 1945 bis 1946, Berlin, 2001, p. 18. |
| p. 245 |
‘What was that…bottom of an abyss.’ Ibid. pp. 18–19. |
| p. 246 |
‘A lot of Germans…awful as that?’ Ibid. p. 25. |
| p. 246 |
‘Nowhere is this…evident everywhere.’ Hannah Arendt, ‘The Aftermath of Nazi Rule’, p. 342. |
| p. 247 |
‘Germans mail…in their midst.’ Ibid. |
| AN INABILITY TO FEEL |
| p. 248–49 |
‘This general lack…what really happened.’ Hannah Arendt, ‘The Aftermath of Nazi Rule’, p. 342. |
| p. 249 |
‘a half-conscious refusal…inability to feel.’ Ibid. |
| p. 250 |
‘He’s at peace…war has destroyed.’ Lore Walb, Ich, die Alte—Ich, die Junge, p. 338. |
| p. 250 |
‘Hitler is dead…anymore.’ Ibid., 345. |
| p. 251 |
‘Until we awoke…struck with blindness.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen, p. 383. |
| p. 252 |
‘Hitler was dead!…to rain.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 187. |
| p. 252 |
‘What had happened…loved Hitler.’ Stéphane Roussel, Les Collines de Berlin, p. 247. |
| p. 253 |
‘When I tell…elicits a reaction.’ Ibid., p. 242. |
| p. 253 |
‘It was best…talented authors.’ Ibid., p. 248. |
| VICTIMS |
| p. 254 |
‘For most Germans…victims of them.’ Stéphane Roussel, Les Collines de Berlin, p. 242. |
| p. 255 |
‘This is usually…cancels the other…’ Hannah Arendt, ‘The Aftermath of Nazi Rule’, p. 342. |
| p. 256 |
‘But what about…abandoned.’ Lore Walb, Ich, die Alte—Ich, die Junge, p. 338. |
| p. 256 |
‘What a course…to see this!’ Ibid. |
| p. 257 |
‘I despised those…necessary.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 205. |
| p. 258 |
‘I saw my return…my release.’ Gerhard Starcke, Mit Stenoblock und Kübelwagen, p. 380. |
| p. 258 |
‘The English can’t have probed very deeply.’ Ibid., p. 379. |
| p. 258 |
‘However bleak…turn for the better.’ Ibid., p. 411. |
| p. 259 |
‘Watching the Germans…against reality.’ Hannah Arendt, ‘The Aftermath of Nazi Rule’, p. 345. |
| GHOSTS OF THE FORGOTTEN |
| p. 260 |
‘But this is not real…no longer touch.’ Hannah Arendt, ‘The Aftermath of Nazi Rule’, p. 345. |
| p. 261 |
‘hardly recognised anyone’. Renate Finkh, Sie versprachen uns die Zukunft, p. 265. |
| p. 261 |
‘I had to keep…upset anyone.’ Ibid., p. 266. |
| p. 262 |
‘Guilt and shame…loyalty evil too.’ Ibid., p. 268. |
| p. 262 |
‘Many had felt…youth like that?’ Ibid., p. 269. |
| p. 263 |
‘Sometimes I’d be…eased off.’ Melita Maschmann, Fazit, p. 212. |
| p. 263 |
‘Emotionally and psychologically…rock bottom.’ Ibid., p. 213. |
| p. 264 |
‘The line…without our noticing.’ Ibid., p. 239. |