How to Take Control of Your Luck
Introduction
This chapter contains fifty-nine practical ways to increase your luck. They can be read in any order you wish. You might like to read the chapter and then decide which ones you’d like to experiment with first. Alternatively, something might interest you, and you might decide to start with that one first. You’ll make faster progress if you work on one or two at a time, rather than trying to do too many. Focus on these until you notice some improvement, and then add another, and another, until you’ve worked on all the areas you need help with.
Some of these ideas need a change in outlook, but others involve looking for opportunities to put them into practice. Number 27: The Harder You Work, the Luckier You Get is an example. To gain the most from this idea, you should volunteer for any task that involves persistence and hard work. If this isn’t possible, tackle a task you’ve been putting off. Work hard until you’ve completed it, and enjoy the satisfaction of finishing something that was difficult or not particularly pleasant. Recently, I cleared all the junk out of our garage. This was a chore I’d put off for years. I found something I thought I’d lost, which was lucky for me, and two months later, my wife and I still gain pleasure every time we drive in or out of our garage.
1. Attitude
Joseph Addison (1672–1719), the English essayist, wrote: “I never knew an early-rising, hard-working, prudent man, careful of his earnings, and strictly honest, who complained of bad luck. A good character, good habits, and iron industry are impregnable to the assaults of all the ill-luck that fools ever dreamed of.” Joseph Addison obviously had a positive attitude.
Everyone has an attitude. Some people are born with a positive attitude and have an optimistic approach to life. Other people are born with a gloomier disposition, which gives them a negative attitude.
At one time I worked in a warehouse at a printing supplies company. The woman who prepared the invoices was one of the most negative people I’ve ever met. Nothing was good in her life, and she loved telling everyone about her problems. At work, she enjoyed creating problems whenever she could. She also enjoyed dragging everyone down to her level. If you commented on the beautiful day, she’d reply: “The weather forecast says it will rain tomorrow.” I worked there for three months, and for most of that time tried to make her smile. I didn’t succeed, and I assume she’s still wallowing in her negativity.
Shortly after leaving the warehouse, we moved house. I had a small mail order business and visited the local post office several times a week. Most of the staff were pleasant and friendly to deal with. However, one lady was grumpy and appeared to go out of her way to make life difficult for the customers. Remembering the lady in the warehouse, I made it my goal to make her smile. It took almost three years to achieve this. Twenty years later, she’s still at the post office. Whenever I walk in, she smiles and waves to me, but she’s unpleasant to everyone else. It taught me that I have the power to change my own attitude, but it’s impossible to change anyone else’s. They have to decide to do it themselves.
There’s a famous story about two people who look at a half-filled glass of water. One person sees the container as half empty; the other sees it half full. The first person has a pessimistic approach to life, while the second is an optimist. Which of these two people is more likely to be lucky? The optimist expects good things to happen, and as a result, is much more likely to experience apparent luck than a pessimistic colleague. The optimist has a good attitude, and attitude is everything.
With a good attitude, optimists feels good about themselves, and are able to look ahead and make plans for the future. Pessimists are so full of anxieties and doubts that their minds are too occupied to think about future plans.
Most people’s attitudes vary from time to time. No one is 100 percent positive all the time. The key to success is to be positive more often than negative. In fact, we always have a choice. Any time you’re feeling negative, you can deliberately change your attitude and make it more positive. You’ll feel much better as a result. There’ll be less stress, and you’ll lead a much more enjoyable, more relaxed life.
Attitude is important in every area of life. Let’s imagine two men at a party. One is an optimist and the other is a pessimist. They both see an attractive lady. The optimist thinks: “The worst thing that can happen is she’ll turn me down.” He walks over and introduces himself. The pessimist thinks: “She’s bound to turn me down. Why humiliate myself?” As a result, he doesn’t introduce himself and misses out on an opportunity to make a new friend.
Let’s imagine the same two people at work. They’re both faced with a problem. The optimist thinks: “Let’s look at this from another angle. There has to be a solution.” The pessimist thinks: “Let’s give up now. It’s impossible.” The pessimist gives up; the optimist persists until she succeeds.
When I told a friend I was working on this chapter, he told me: “Attitude isn’t just important; it’s essential. It plays a major part in everything you do. No one achieves success in any area of life without a good attitude. Your attitude determines how successful you’ll become. If you have a good attitude, you can’t help but be lucky.” My friend is a joy to be around, as he’s always cheerful and positive. He’s had as many ups and downs as anyone, but consciously decides to make every day a good one.
Optimists enjoy being with other optimists. They expect good things to happen. They spend as little time as possible with negative people, as they know moaners and complainers enjoy pulling everyone down to their level. One morning a week I go to a breakfast club meeting. I joined it fifteen years ago as I felt the need to mix with positive, enthusiastic people. I had become sick and tired of the constant negativity of a magic club I belonged to, and joined the breakfast club the same week I resigned from the magic club. It’s been interesting to watch the growth and development of the members of the breakfast club over the last ten years, compared with the members of the magic club. The bickering, infighting, and petty jealousies have prevented the magic club members from progressing in their careers, while the breakfast club members are achieving their goals and succeeding in every area of their lives.
I’ve thought about these two groups many times over the past decade. I occasionally come across people who still belong to the magic club, and they’re always keen to tell me the latest gossip about the other members. Members of the breakfast club are too busy pursuing their goals to waste time in negativity and gossip.
More than twenty years ago, Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman conducted a series of experiments with salespeople at Metropolitan Life. Not surprisingly, the optimists turned out to be more successful than the pessimists. Dr. Seligman believed that it was the person’s self-talk that either sustained or defeated the salespeople as they made their daily cold calls on the phone. Someone who thought “No one wants to buy insurance from me” would give up quickly after a few knockbacks. However, the salesperson who thought “They may already have insurance, but eight out of ten people are uninsured” would keep on making calls.
Encouraged by this discovery, Metropolitan Life carried out a larger test on all fifteen thousand people who applied for sales positions in 1985. They employed one thousand of these without using Dr. Seligman’s optimism test. Dr. Seligman wanted to use this data later on to see if the optimists outperformed the pessimists. In fact, they did. In the first year, the optimists outsold the pessimists by 8 percent, and this increased to 30 percent in the second year.
Dr. Seligman also performed another experiment, asking the insurance company to employ one hundred people who had failed the entrance criteria, but were rated super-optimists on Dr. Seligman’s test. These people would not normally have been offered a position in the company. Their results were amazing. In the first year, they outsold the pessimists by 21 percent and this rose to 57 perecnt in the second year. This conclusively demonstrated that optimists make much better salespeople than pessimists.1
If you maintain a positive attitude, you’ll not only enjoy a happier life, but you’ll also be significantly luckier than people with a negative attitude. This is because you’ll be open to any opportunities that come your way. You’ll be more approachable and develop a wider circle of friends, which will also provide you with more opportunities.
2. Take Control
You need to take control of your thoughts, as these influence your attitude and actions. Ultimately, your thoughts will attract or repel good luck. Most people pay little attention to how positive or negative their thoughts are. You’ll be amazed at the difference in your attitude toward every aspect of your life once you start focusing on positive thoughts. Naturally, you’ll find yourself thinking negative thoughts every now and again. You don’t need to berate yourself when this occurs. Simply switch your thoughts around and think of something positive. Each time you do this, the more positive you’ll become. In time, the process will become automatic. One technique I found useful when working as a salesman was to think about a major sale I’d made immediately before approaching another prospect. The memory of the past success gave me the right attitude to make another sale. Naturally, when I made the additional sale, my colleagues attributed it to good luck.
You should also constantly see yourself as being in control of your destiny. This means you’ll take ownership of every situation, good and bad, and will remain focused on progressing toward your goals. People who do the opposite and think of themselves as powerless victims lead lives of frustration and blame everyone else for their misfortunes and lack of success. Once you realize that you’re in control of your destiny, everything will start to go your way, and you’ll be luckier than ever before.
3. Associate with Like-Minded People
Other people affect your thoughts and actions. Negative people try to pull you down and encourage you to share their negativity. I call them vampires, as they have the ability to suck out every trace of positivity. Nurture your relationships with positive people, and spend as little time as possible with negative vampires.
4. Find a Magnificent Obsession
We all need something worthwhile to aim for. Find something challenging, stimulating, and worthy of your time and effort. This will be different for everyone. One person might find this in studying toward a degree, while another might achieve the same satisfaction in seeking a closer connection with the divine, or in helping people less fortunate than him- or herself. One person I know began a program of self-development and started working on resolving his inappropriate responses whenever he felt angry or impatient.
5. Set Goals and Achieve Them
This is a continuation of seeking a magnificent obsession. The most successful people, usually called the luckiest people, choose worthwhile goals, and then work hard until they’ve achieved them. Usually, they have a number of goals. Some are short-term while others might take a lifetime to achieve. Some are relatively easy to achieve, while others are difficult. Achieving short-term and easier goals keeps these people motivated as they strive to achieve their more difficult, long-term goals.
If you set challenging, worthwhile goals for yourself and work hard to attain them, you’ll be amazed at how lucky you become.
6. Be Happy
The great American president Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865) said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” I’m sure that, like me, you know many people who go through life appearing to be unhappy, while others, often with much less to be happy about, seem to be in constant good spirits.
Many years ago, Tai Lau, a feng shui master, told me, “If you want to be happy, be happy.” It was simple yet very profound advice, and I’ve tried to follow it ever since. Every morning when I wake up, I tell myself that I’m going to enjoy a wonderful day. I’ve found that starting the day with positive thoughts makes me feel good and enables me to remain happy no matter what the day brings. It’s not easy to remain happy in the midst of the various challenges we all face as we go through life. It’s a sign of maturity to take control of your own happiness and be happy, no matter what.
I’ve found that maintaining a positive, happy disposition makes me luckier in many different ways. I seldom have problems finding a parking space close to where I want to be when I go downtown, for instance. I feel confident that I’ll find a parking space, and I usually do. Recently, I went to a wine tasting at my local wine shop and was fortunate enough to buy the last bottle of the wine he had opened for tasting. The owner told me I was lucky, and reminded me that I’d done exactly the same thing a year or two earlier. I already felt happy at obtaining the last bottle, but it was good to have the luck aspect reinforced as well.
7. Use Positive Affirmations
Affirmations are words that are repeated over and over to instill positive thoughts into our minds. They are always phrased in the present tense and stated strongly, as if whatever it is you’re saying is already true.
You might, for instance, be suffering from a lack of confidence. To correct this difficulty, you might say to yourself as many times a day as possible: “I am confident and strong. I can stand up for myself in any type of situation.” Obviously, this won’t be the case when you start saying this affirmation. However, if you keep repeating it, it will ultimately become part of your reality, and you’ll gain the confidence you need.
You can do exactly the same thing with luck. If you constantly repeat: “I am lucky. Good things happen to me all the time,” you will improve your luck.
The trick is to keep control over your thoughts. Anything you say can become an affirmation. If you constantly say to yourself, “I’m never lucky,” or “life isn’t fair,” that will become your reality.
Consequently, it’s vitally important to think positively as much as possible. During the course of an average day, we all think a mixture of positive, neutral, and negative thoughts. If you find yourself thinking a negative thought, deliberately turn it around and make it positive, or alternatively, think about something different instead.
Here are some positive affirmations that will help improve your luck:
8. Spend Time with Friends
A short while ago, a relative of mine told me that he had no friends. He had devoted his life to making money and although he’d been extremely successful at this, he wasn’t happy. I felt sad for him, as good friends are amongst the greatest blessings life has to offer.
As I work at home, it would be easy to focus on my work and gradually become a hermit. Fortunately, I keep in regular contact with my friends. I usually meet them for morning coffee or lunch. When I return home and get back to work, I’m happy, stimulated, and more productive. Although it’s not the reason why I meet them, my friends often give me good ideas and suggestions.
Recently, I happened to mention I was writing a book on a particular subject. My friend said he knew someone who had been involved in this field for many years and would I like to meet him? This chance remark led to a meeting with a charming man who gave me some excellent ideas for the book. Meeting him was a lucky day for me. I’ve had many experiences like this over the years.
9. Make New Friends
As well as nurturing your current friendships, you should nurture all your relationships, and be willing to accept new people into your life. Naturally, you should nurture these, too. You should do this with no expectation of any reward, other than the new friendships you might make. However, each of these new friends has other friends, and your circle of contacts will steadily grow. The more contacts you have, the more opportunities you’ll have. Over a period of time, you’ll be amazed at how lucky you become. It’s been estimated that the average American has approximately 300 contacts. Some of these are strong, such as family and good friends. Others are more tenuous, and include people you deal with at the bank and post office, gas station attendants, and the like. As each of these people is also in contact with 300 others, you’re a maximum of one step away from 90,000 people. You can take that even further, too. If all of those people have 300 contacts, you’re a maximum of two steps away from 27,000,000 people!
It’s not hard to make friends. Be sociable, accept invitations, and make the first move when you meet people you like.
10. Expect Serendipity
Serendipity is the act of finding something useful or valuable without searching for it. I’ve experienced this frequently in bookstores and libraries. While looking for a particular book, I often find another book that is even more helpful than the book I was searching for.
The word serendipity was coined by the English writer Horace Walpole (1717–1797), after reading The Three Princes of Serendip, a Persian fairy tale in which the three heroes constantly made interesting discoveries by accident.
Something I find fascinating about serendipity is that my luck improves if I expect serendipity to occur. Whenever I visit a library, for instance, I wonder what books I’ll discover by accident. Because I expect to make interesting discoveries, I find them regularly.
While writing this section, I read in today’s newspaper a human interest piece about a man having his hair cut. He happened to mention that his house was damp, and the hairdresser said that he’d installed a certain type of heat pump. A man having his hair cut in the next chair commented that he sold and installed this particular heat pump, and the man with the damp house immediately employed him. This was serendipitous for both the man with the damp house and the man who sold heat pumps. It was also serendipitous for me to read this at the exact time I was writing about serendipity.2
The Greek mathematician Archimedes had a serendipitous moment in the public baths of Syracuse. Apparently, he ran naked through the streets of Syracuse calling out, “Eureka!” (“I’ve found it!”) Archimedes accidentally discovered that the amount of water that spilled out of his bath was exactly equal to the bulk of the part of his body that was submerged.3
A few years ago, I was fortunate enough to visit the Lascaux Caves near Montignac in southwestern France. These caves were discovered accidentally by four boys who were exploring the woods near their home. They widened a small hole they found in the ground, and crawled into a large space. They were amazed to see beautiful paintings of animals on the walls.
The Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered in 1947 by a young boy who was looking for a lost goat. These are excellent examples of something wonderful being discovered by accident.
Expect fortunate things to happen by accident. They will, and everyone will tell you how lucky you are.
11. Nurture Yourself
Most people lead busy lives, and it can be difficult to take time out purely to nurture themselves. However, it’s vitally important for your happiness and well-being to nurture your physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. Nurturing yourself has nothing to do with self-indulgence. Nurturing is loving, respecting, caring, and respecting yourself for the magnificent creation that you are.
Nurturing yourself means that you have a right to do something special for yourself every day. This could be as simple as going for a walk and leaving your cell phone at home. It might be buying flowers for no reason at all. It could be phoning a friend for a chat. It might be setting aside ten minutes to read a book. It could be listing in your mind all the blessings in your life. It might even be simply spending time on your own. Changing your daily routine is a good way to nurture yourself. One of the best ways to nurture yourself is to slow down. When you slow down even for a minute or two, you’ll be able to see all the things you normally miss as you race through your day.
You can nurture yourself by helping others. This can be as small as smiling at a stranger as you pass in the street. It can be a kind word. It can be a donation of time or money. Often, spending time with someone can be a priceless gift. You nurture yourself when you accept other people as they are. You also nurture yourself when you don’t always have to be right. Go with the flow.
How does nurturing yourself improve your luck? When you feel good about yourself (and nurturing yourself certainly does that), you’re receptive to all the good things life has to offer, and good things will start coming your way.
12. Laugh More
I regularly watch stand-up comedians on YouTube. I love to laugh, as it invigorates me, releases tension, and makes me feel good. It reminds me how good it is to be alive.
Children laugh much more than adults. Although estimates vary, it’s said that children laugh 300 to 400 times a day. Apparently, adults laugh fifteen to twenty times. Obviously, everyone is different, but there’s no doubt that children laugh much more than adults.
In his book, Anatomy of an Illness, Norman Cousins described how watching old Marx Brothers movies helped him reduce both pain and inflammation. In fact, ten minutes of laughter brought him two hours of restful, pain-free sleep. It’s no wonder laughter has been called the best medicine.
Laughter relaxes the entire body, reduces stress levels, and improves blood flow to the heart. It also produces endorphins (which make us feel good) and antibodies that help fight infection. A good laugh is extremely beneficial from a health point of view.
Laughing also keeps you young. Michael Pritchard is famous for saying: “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.”
When you laugh, you become more optimistic, outgoing, and friendlier. You also become more attractive to others. Laughing is contagious, and every time you laugh you have the potential to help others as well as yourself. Laughing with others also increases your connection with them, and opens doors for new experiences and opportunities. This increases your potential for good luck.
Seize every opportunity you can to laugh, and make it a good one if you can.
13. Expect Good Things to Happen
This relates to maintaining a positive mental attitude. If you believe good things will happen, you won’t be devastated by the mistakes and failures that everyone experiences from time to time. Instead you’ll be convinced that something good will come out of the situation and, as you expect that to happen, you’ll be alert to every opportunity that presents itself.
Good things can be both small and large. A few months ago, I happened to walk past a house while a children’s birthday party was in progress. About a dozen girls were playing a game on the front lawn, watched by several parents. One of the girls was holding a daisy. As I walked past, she ran over and presented it to me.
14. Act As If You Are Lucky
Everyone’s heard the phrase “fake it until you make it.” Our minds are extremely suggestible. If you constantly act as if you’re lucky, and affirm this to yourself all the time, you’ll find that you will become lucky. When you act as if you’re lucky, you attract good luck to you, and luck will become a reality in your life.
A friend of mine regularly finds money on the street. On several occasions while I’ve been walking with her, she’s suddenly bent down and picked up a coin or note that someone had dropped. Each time, I would have walked past without seeing it. When I asked her about her useful talent, she told me she’d always been lucky at finding money.
15. Eliminate Negative Emotions
It’s hard to be lucky when you’re crippled by shyness or feelings of jealousy or rage. They prevent you from moving ahead, as your mind constantly dwells on your own perceived limitations. These feelings can also be seen by others. As negativity of any sort is unattractive, emotions of this sort can prevent people from helping you.
It’s natural to feel negative when events seem to be conspiring against you, but it’s one thing to feel them, and quite another to express them. When you eliminate the negativity, you increase your opportunities of attracting all the good things of life, including good luck.
16. The World Is Your Oyster
You’re not going to experience much luck if you stay at home, and fail to venture out into the world. There are opportunities everywhere, but you need to be out and about to find them.
Of course, you’ll make mistakes when you move out of your comfort zone. Everyone makes mistakes. One man I know told me that he loves making mistakes, as each one brings him ever closer to success. When I queried him about this, he told me that he learned from every mistake, and this told him what not to do next time.
Just recently, a friend of mine phoned someone who owned a valuable art collection. It had taken him several months to gather the necessary courage to make the call. My friend is keen on art and wanted to see in particular a certain painting the man owned. When my friend finally phoned, he was immediately invited to the art collector’s house to see the entire collection.
Be brave. Take chances. Trust. The world truly is your oyster.
17. Eliminate Envy
We’ve all experienced situations in which someone else got the promotion, even though we thought we were better suited for the position. There’s no point in being envious of the person who got the job. After all, the new position might be incredibly stressful, or involve more hours of work each week than you’d be prepared to put in.
It’s a similar situation if a friend has a gorgeous partner while you’re still on your own. The partner might look attractive but could be extremely needy and hard to live with. What you think is your friend’s good luck might in reality be the opposite.
Instead of feeling jealous or envious of someone else’s apparent good luck, remain focused on your own hopes and dreams.
18. Remember the Good Things
Many years ago, a man came to me for help with insomnia. I discovered that when he went to bed at night, he’d think about the mistakes he’d made during the day. After that, he’d think about the silly things he’d done over the previous few days, and then move back to the previous month. He’d keep going back in time until he was thinking about the stupid things he’d done as a small child. No wonder he couldn’t fall asleep! I taught him to think about all the good things that had happened to him during the day, and his problem ceased. Meeting this man made me wonder how many people limit their lives by constantly reliving all the unpleasant, shameful, negative, and unhappy experiences from their past.
To be lucky, you must develop a selective memory. Remember the good things. Relive them with a smile on your face. Count your blessings and realize how lucky you actually are.
19. Forgive
It’s impossible to move ahead if you’re constantly dwelling on something negative from the past. Everyone has experienced hurt, and it’s natural to feel anger, resentment, and fear that it could happen again. However, there’s no law that says you must hang on to those feelings forever. If you do, you’re effectively stuck in the past. You can’t move on until you let go and forgive the other person. When you forgive, you set yourself free. This means you can move ahead again.
Failing to forgive keeps you imprisoned in your own personal hell, constantly going over past grievances and hurts. Lucky people have no time for that. They’re constantly looking ahead rather than living in the past.
While you’re forgiving others, forgive yourself as well. No one is perfect, and everyone is doing the best he or she can.
20. Be Grateful
When you make an effort to look for the good in every situation and be grateful for it, you’ll become aware of how lucky you actually are right now.
Here’s a small example. While writing this section my phone rang. When I answered it, the person asked for someone I didn’t know. When I told him he’d dialed the wrong number, the man on the other end didn’t apologize. In fact, he didn’t say anything. He hung up on me while I was still talking. At one time I would have thought about this incident for some time, thinking about how rude he’d been. Now, instead of doing that, I silently thanked him. His call had forced me out of my chair and given me a brief break from my computer screen.
Express your gratitude to your family and friends. Recognize their importance in your life. Be grateful for your job. Even if the pay is low, be grateful. Be grateful for the gift of life. Be grateful for being you.
Dr. Martin Seligman, former president of the American Psychological Association, created a gratitude exercise known as the “Three Blessings.” At the end of each day, he suggests that you think about the three things that occurred during the day that you’re most happy about. This simple technique helps to reduce feelings of anxiety and depression and at the same time increase feelings of joy and happiness.4
Dr. Robert Emmons, a professor at the University of California and author of a number of books on gratitude, conducted a lengthy project called the Gratitude Interventions Project.5 He discovered that people who expressed gratitude were happier, healthier, more enthusiastic, and more energetic than people who didn’t. They were also more successful at setting and achieving goals.6
Actively look for opportunities to thank people. It makes you feel good, and is appreciated by others. It also makes you memorable and may provide you with further opportunities in the future.
21. Take Chances
You won’t succeed if you never try anything. Take a chance. Even if it doesn’t pay off, you’ll learn from the experience. Taking a chance means taking risks. This doesn’t necessarily mean crossing Niagara Falls on a tightrope—it could be making the first move and introducing yourself to a stranger at a function you’re attending. It might be being brave enough to ask for a pay rise.
Naturally, you should try to minimize the risk and avoid anything foolhardy or dangerous. Evaluate the situation carefully, take a calculated risk, and move forward.
22. Keep Your Sense of Wonder
It’s easy to forget how incredibly fortunate we all are to be alive today, living on this amazing planet full of incredible variety and diversity. Try going outside on a cloudless evening, and gaze up at the stars. Visit a nearby scenic lookout and marvel at the magnificent view. Watch a flock of birds flying in unison. Walk along a beach. Appreciate the laughter of children. Play with a pet. We’re surrounded by wonder. Pause and appreciate it every now and again. Pausing to appreciate the wonders all around you will help you realize just how lucky you are.
23. Spend Time on Your Own
Take time out of your daily schedule to relax on your own. Although it might be hard, it’s especially important to do this when you’re really busy. You’ll be amazed at the ideas that will come to you when you sit quietly and think about your hopes and dreams. Don’t sit down and let your mind wander. If possible, think about ideas that will help you solve a problem. It doesn’t have to be a particular problem of yours. Think of ideas you could implement that would make other people’s lives easier or more comfortable. Don’t evaluate the ideas as you get them. Write them all down, and think about them later.
You may choose to spend time on your own working at a hobby, exercising, or doing something else you enjoy. You’ll find good ideas will come to you no matter what you’re doing.
24. Meditate
Setting aside time on your own to think is highly beneficial. You can increase the benefits of this by learning how to meditate. The word meditate comes from the Latin word medi, which means “to center.” Consequently, when you meditate you go within and align yourself with the center of your being.
Meditation has many benefits. It quietens the mind, improves mental health, strengthens the immune system, and reduces stress, depression, backaches, and negativity.
There are many ways to meditate. Some people do it through walking, jogging, gardening, or gazing at a beautiful scene. Other people meditate by losing themselves in a hobby. In all of these examples, the participants are in a state of mindfulness. They are living in the moment, free from all worries and concerns.
One of the simplest ways to meditate is to sit in a comfortable chair, and take several slow, deep breaths through your nose. I like to close my eyes while doing this, but many people prefer to gaze at a burning candle, or a tranquil scene. Allow yourself to relax with each exhalation, and feel all the muscles in your body gradually becoming loose and limp.
You’ll probably notice random thoughts coming into your mind from time to time. When you become aware of them, gently dismiss them by focusing on your breathing.
When you feel completely relaxed, allow your mind to think of the word luck. Various thoughts and ideas will come into your mind. If you find your mind thinking about matters that are totally unrelated to luck, focus on your breathing for a few seconds and silently say the word luck to yourself.
When you feel ready, finish the meditation with a brief prayer of thanks to the Architect of the Universe. Open your eyes and continue relaxing for a minute or two, until you feel ready to get up again.
It takes practice to relax and slow down your thoughts. Remain patient when your mind drifts away. Gently bring your attention back to the meditation. If you give yourself ten or fifteen minutes a day to meditate, you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel about every aspect of your life. You’ll find yourself feeling more relaxed, less anxious, and more accepting and understanding. You’ll also feel—and become—luckier.
25. Persist
Frequently, the most successful people are those who refuse to quit. They persevere long after most people would have given up. Calvin Coolidge (1872–1933), the American president, was convinced of the power of persistence. He wrote: “Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
It’s natural for your motivation to waver when you’re working on a large-scale goal or project. It’s impossible to remain motivated all the time. Consequently, many people give up as it seems too hard, and the goal appears too far away. Persistent people keep on working, even when the goal seems impossible to achieve.
A strange thing happens when these people achieve success: everyone forgets the months or years of hard work and effort and says how lucky they are.
26. Find the Silver Lining
Whenever you find yourself in a difficult situation, look for the silver lining in the cloud that’s covering you. It might take time to find it, but it will be there. It might come in the form of a lesson, a new insight, or even a hidden benefit.
One advantage of looking for the silver lining is that your attitude will immediately change. Instead of thinking gloomy thoughts, you’ll be reaffirming your belief in yourself and start moving forward again. This means you’ll be taking control again, rather than allowing circumstances to rule your life.
27. The Harder You Work, the Luckier You Get
Gary Player, the South African golfer, is one of several people who have been credited with coining the phrase “The harder you work, the luckier you get.”7 This means that when you work hard, you’ll discover lucky opportunities that will be missed by people who do as little work as possible. Interestingly, as opportunities that involve hard work are ignored by most people, there is less competition to worry about.
28. Do Something New
A few months ago, I visited a friend and noticed he was reading a book on cabinet-making. As I’ve never seen him do anything remotely practical, I asked him why he chose that particular book. He told me that once a month he takes a book out of his local library on a subject he knows nothing about. He finds some interesting, and others he discards after reading a few chapters.
“It keeps me mentally stimulated, and also gives me great ideas,” he said with a smile.
Another friend of mine has started learning the piano at the age of seventy-five. “It keeps me young,” she told me.
Learning and doing new things will keep you mentally stimulated and youthful in outlook. It also exposes you to new ideas and concepts that have the potential to increase your luck.
29. Look for Opportunities
Russell Conwell (1843–1925), an American Baptist minister, philanthropist, and author, wrote a powerful speech called “Acres of Diamonds.” He presented it more than six thousand times, and it was published as a book in 1890.8 In the speech, Conwell tells of a man who sold his property so he could look for diamonds. The person who bought it later discovered a fortune in diamonds beneath his property. In fact, it was the largest diamond find in history, and became the Kimberly Diamond Mine. The message is that you don’t have to travel to find opportunities; they are everywhere.
Every time you experience a problem, think about the potential opportunities it provides. Your solution could prove rewarding in many different ways.
A good way to find opportunities is to ask questions. Why is something done in a certain way? Why can’t I buy such-and-such locally? When you find a good opportunity and take advantage of it, your friends will tell you how lucky you are.
Once you start actively looking for opportunities, you’ll find they pop up everywhere, even when you’re not looking for them.
30. Charisma
People who have personalities that naturally appeal to others are said to be charismatic. “Charisma” comes from the Greek word khárisma, which means “gift of grace.” Max Weber (1864–1920), the German sociologist, wrote: “Charisma is a certain quality of an individual personality by virtue of which he is set apart from ordinary men and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities.”9 This makes it sound as if charisma is possessed by a few lucky people, but fortunately, everyone can become more charismatic if they want to be. The secret of charisma is basically liking others. If you genuinely like people, you’ll be interested in them and it will be expressed in your words, actions, and facial expressions. Smile, look people in the eye, relax, listen, and be yourself.
When you look at someone or something you like, the pupils in your eyes dilate. Other people can’t determine this consciously, but pick it up subconsciously. This is one of the reasons we can tell if someone likes us. We all have the ability to tell if someone’s smile is false or genuine.
The quickest way to become more charismatic is to interact with more people. Speak to people while waiting in line, or when you’re out and about. Have a brief conversation with a checkout operator or server. If you find it hard to talk to people you don’t know, you might start by asking people what time it is, or possibly ask for directions. You’ll discover that most people will smile and be happy to help you. In some cases, you’ll be able to extend the conversation, and enjoy a pleasant interaction with someone else. Every now and again, an interaction of this sort may bring you good luck.
31. Act on Your Hunches
Some people call it intuition or a sixth sense, but you don’t need to believe in the metaphysical to experience hunches. A hunch is a premonition or feeling you get about something or someone. You cannot explain it logically, but something inside tells you that something is right or wrong. I’ve learned the hard way to act on my hunches. At times, I’ve allowed logic to overrule my hunches, and I’ve always regretted it later. Acting on my hunches gives me luck, as it tells me whether or not to proceed with a particular course of action.
32. Listen
When I was in grade school, a teacher of mine constantly told us: “You never learn anything while you’re talking.” I’m not sure I really understood what she meant at the time, but I’ve been grateful for her advice over the years. Frequently, people inadvertently give me good ideas for my books in the course of a conversation. If I’d been thinking about what to say next rather than listening, I’d have missed out on all those good ideas.
One of my most popular books, Spirit & Dream Animals, was written purely because I overhead two people talking about the meanings of different animals that appeared in people’s dreams. I introduced myself to the two ladies, apologized for overhearing what they were talking about, and enjoyed a lengthy discussion with them on the subject. That was truly a lucky day for me.
Many people enjoy the sound of their own voice and like to dominate the conversation. I’m sure they do this because they want to be noticed, and enjoy being the center of the conversation. Maybe they want to appear smarter than everyone else. Whenever I find myself in this type of situation, I think of my old teacher’s words.
When you really listen, you open yourself up to new ideas and experiences. You’ll be able to take advantage of some of these and everyone will tell you how lucky you are.
33. Say Yes
Way back in 1967, on my first day in London, I bumped into two people I knew back home in New Zealand. They were going to a party that evening and invited me to come along. My first thought was to decline. After all, I wouldn’t know anyone at the party except for the two people who’d invited me. Also, as it wasn’t their party, I’d possibly be unwelcome. Despite this,
I said yes, and my life changed forever. At the party, I met a young lady called Margaret, and she and I have now been married for more than forty years. If I’d turned down the opportunity, it’s unlikely we’d have ever met, and both our lives would have been completely different.
Almost the same thing happened to my father when he met my mother. He had just returned home from the Second World War, and his mother had met the wife of a senior officer in my father’s regiment. She invited my grandmother and father for afternoon tea. My father didn’t want to go. The last thing he wanted to do was reminisce about the war with someone who had been much more senior in rank. However, his mother persisted, and he agreed to go. Serving the tea and handing around the cakes was the senior officer’s niece. Less than a year later, they married. If my father had not gone to the afternoon tea—and he very nearly didn’t—I would not have been born.
When you think of how your own parents and grandparents met, not to mention all the generations that preceded them, you’ll realize just how lucky you are to be alive today.
We all receive invitations and opportunities that we decline for various reasons. It’s impossible to say yes to everything, but before you decline, think about the possible opportunities the invitation might provide.
One of my regrets occurred about fifteen years ago in Las Vegas. I was staying with a friend. He’d just told me how tired he was when the phone rang. It was a world-famous magician who was calling to invite me to a late supper after his show. I would have loved to have gone, but because my friend had told me how tired he was, I declined and never got to meet him. It did occur to me to call a taxi, but I knew my friend would insist on driving me to the magician’s hotel and back. I should have allowed my friend to drive me there, and insist on returning home by taxi. We all have regrets, but if you think carefully before saying no, chances are you’ll have fewer of them.
34. Live in the Moment
The only time any of us have is now. Young children live in the present and become totally absorbed in whatever it is they are doing. Adults find this hard to do, as many people spend their time looking back to the past, and reliving problems and concerns that have no relevance to the present moment. If they’re not thinking about the past, they’re likely to be worried about situations and events that might occur in the future.
Life occurs in the present moment. It’s hard to be lucky if you’re living in the past or worrying about the future. To be truly lucky, you need to live in the present and be willing to seize the right opportunities as they present themselves.
35. Visualization
Visualization is the art of imagining the outcome you desire as clearly as you can. If, for instance, you have a job interview tomorrow morning, you might sit down comfortably, close your eyes, and imagine exactly how you want the interview to go. Maybe you’d start by visualizing yourself waking up and feeling excited about the interview. Picture yourself getting dressed, having breakfast, and going to the interview. Although you may not have been to this particular place before, you can imagine yourself sitting down and waiting to meet the person who’ll be interviewing you. See yourself walking into this person’s office, and then visualize the entire interview in your mind. See yourself looking confident, smiling, making good eye contact, asking questions, and giving good responses to everything the interviewer asks you. See yourself saying goodbye to the interviewer, and then imagine yourself going through the rest of your day, happy because you know you made a good impression and did everything necessary to obtain the position.
When you go to bed, visualize it all again, and tell yourself that everything will occur exactly the way you visualized it. Visualize it again on your way to the interview, and remain confident that it will work out exactly as you visualized it.
By doing this, you’ll feel much more relaxed and comfortable during the actual interview. Because of this, you’ll be able to think quickly during the interview, and respond to the questions in a calm, confident manner. You’ll stand out from the other candidates for the position, and dramatically increase your chances of being offered the job.
Imagine the scenario if, instead of feeling relaxed and positive, you were anxious and worried about the interview. You’d probably say to yourself: “I’m feeling really nervous. Have I got the right qualifications? Will the interviewer like me? Will I make a good impression? I’m sure I’m not right for this position.” Although you’re not relaxing with your eyes closed while thinking these thoughts, they’re still a visualization of sorts. If you go into the interview with these negative thoughts in your mind, the chances of you being offered the position are reduced enormously.
Whenever you visualize a positive outcome, your luck increases. This is partly because you’ll feel confident of success, and you’ll approach the situation in the right frame of mind. In addition, the universe will recognize your attitude and help you achieve your goal.
36. Be Curious
When I first started work, people constantly told me I asked too many questions. I asked because I was curious. I wanted to know why things were done in a certain way. Maybe I asked too many questions, but I learned a great deal as a result and was sometimes able to make suggestions that helped the company I worked for.
I still ask questions, but I’m not as brave as my brother-in-law. He’s happy to ask the type of questions that most people won’t because they’re worried about appearing foolish. His curiosity has made him a fortune. People tell him he’s lucky, but much of his success can be attributed to his curiosity. Asking questions and thinking about the answers has provided him with numerous opportunities he was able to capitalize on.
Ask questions. Be curious and see how lucky you become.
37. Everyone Is Important
It’s impossible to know who might provide you with a lucky opportunity. You probably already treat people in authority with respect. After all, they might be able to help you directly or possibly influence people who can. However, you also need to treat less important people with the same degree of respect. Someone who is in a modest position might know someone who can help you or give you some valuable advice. Who knows what luck might come from the encounter? In the future, this person might hold a senior role and will remember how you treated him or her when you first met.
If you treat others as if they’re important, they’re likely to extend the same courtesy to you.
38. Make Today Special
Decide to make today a special day, a day in which nothing bothers you, and you see the best in everything that happens. You might like to make plans for your first special day a day or two ahead. Decide what you want to accomplish, who you’d like to spend the day with, and what you’d like to do. You may not be able to do this if it’s a regular day at work, but you can still decide to make it your special day where everything goes well.
Once you’ve had one special day, you’ll decide to do it again and again, until every day is a special day. When you’ve reached this position, you’ll find nothing will bother you anymore, and you’ll feel relaxed and in total control of everything that happens. You’ll also find good luck occurring on a regular basis.
39. Inspire by Example
Lead your life as if you’re already the person you desire to be. If you’re courteous to others, speak well, smile, don’t complain, and work hard, people are going to see you as a good, positive person. You must be fair, friendly, reliable, and dependable at all times. Your dress must be appropriate for whatever situation you’re in. By doing all of this, you’ll inspire others by your example, and this will open doors to many opportunities that might have been denied you in the past. In turn, everyone will say how lucky you are.
40. Think Win-Win
Win-win is the concept of entering into every opportunity with the object of being reasonable to everyone concerned and ensuring a positive, mutually beneficial outcome. It is based on fairness, compromise, cooperation, and mutual benefit. The traditional I-win-you-lose scenario is not a fair way of dealing with others. If you get a bigger slice of the pie, someone else gets less and will feel that you’ve taken advantage of them.
This doesn’t mean you need to look after the other person’s interests as well as your own. It does mean being honest, ethical, and treating others the way you’d like them to treat you. They need to look after their own interests while you focus on yours.
If you act honorably and sincerely toward others in all your dealings, you’ll find more and more opportunities will be presented to you, demonstrating that the “pie” is actually infinite.
41. Be Adaptable
Be prepared to go with the flow. You might have your heart set on going to a particular movie. However, if it’s sold out, not showing at your local cinema, or your friends don’t want to see it, be willing to see a different movie, or maybe go out for dinner instead.
If you’re kept waiting somewhere, don’t get angry. Instead, catch up with some calls or read a book.
People who are flexible and adaptable have much more fun than people who are rigid, dogmatic, and set in their ways. If you’re open-minded, listen to new ideas, and change your plans when necessary, you’ll achieve much more success and happiness than the dinosaurs who won’t adapt. You’ll also be luckier in every way.
42. Help Others
You can help others in many different ways. One of the best ways to help someone is to spend time with them. Even a smile will help. Helping others makes you feel good about yourself. It involves interacting with another human being and there’s no knowing where that might lead. It could even result in a lifelong friendship. It also improves the life of someone else, and this makes the world a better place for everyone.
43. Find a Mentor
Mentors frequently appear in people’s lives at just the right moment. Warren Buffett, who has himself mentored many others, was mentored by Benjamin Graham. Ray Charles had Wiley Pittman. In both cases, the mentor arrived at exactly the right moment for the person being mentored.
Mentors can increase your luck in many ways. They can teach you valuable skills and techniques. They can introduce you to influential people who might open doors for you. They can provide opportunities to learn and practice your skills. They provide encouragement, and act as sounding boards to your ideas. Quite apart from anything else, a mentor will have your best interests at heart, and will become a good friend you can call upon for help and advice at any time.
Mentors may stay connected with you for decades. Some stay with you long enough to get you started and then move on. Although I wasn’t aware of it at the time, some of the teachers I had at school were also mentors. They were able to see potentials in me I hadn’t yet recognized, and gently nudged me in the right direction. These were all short-term mentors, but they were no less valuable than long-term mentors.
Mentors will usually find you, but there’s no reason you can’t seek a mentor if you’re ready for one. Seek out people in the field you want to succeed in, and find someone knowledgeable and easy to get along with. Ask this person if you can contact him or her for advice every now and again. Most people will feel flattered to be asked, and gradually that person will become your mentor. Of course, not everyone wants to fulfill that role. If you get turned down, simply go through the process again and again until you find your mentor.
44. Be a Mentor
Many people who have been mentored ultimately become mentors themselves. There’s a special joy in passing on information and helping people who are ready to receive it. Mentoring others also increases your luck. Often the person you’re mentoring will be younger than you, and he or she will provide you with the viewpoint and attitudes of a different generation. This provides you with additional opportunities you might not have seen otherwise. The satisfaction and pleasure you receive from mentoring a person with potential will increase your self-esteem. By helping someone else, you’re benefiting the whole world, albeit in a small way, and the universe will reward you. When you work in harmony with the universe, you can’t help but be lucky.
45. Practice the Golden Rule
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The world’s main spiritual traditions teach the concept of treating other people the way we would like to be treated ourselves. This maxim predates Christianity by thousands of years. In The Eloquent Peasant, a popular story during the time of the Middle Kingdom (c. 2040–c. 1650 BCE) in ancient Egypt, are the words: “Now this is the command: Do to the doer to cause that he do thus to you.”10
The golden rule is not always easy in practice, as everyone has to deal with difficult people from time to time. However, it is in these situations that you most need to practice it.
When you practice the golden rule, you’ll think about the effect your actions have on others, and be able to see yourself in the other person’s position. In other words, you’ll be empathizing with them. By treating others with compassion, kindness, and respect, you’ll feel differently about yourself. People will respond and trust you in return. You’ll also receive opportunities you may not have been presented with otherwise.
46. Feel Lucky
Feeling lucky is closely related to attitude. If you go through life expecting fortuitous and lucky events to occur, they probably will. You’ll also recognize them when they appear. Conversely, if you go through life with a pessimistic attitude, you’ll miss out on lucky opportunities as you’ll be focused on the negative aspects of everything you experience.
Lucky people create their own luck because they have a positive attitude toward life, and expect good outcomes. They experience just as many ups and downs as everyone else, but because they expect to be lucky, they pick themselves up again and start looking for the next opportunity.
47. Self-Respect
We’re all harder on ourselves than we are on others. You’re not likely to tell a friend that he or she is lazy or stupid, but you may well say these things to yourself. You deserve all the respect you naturally give to others. Start appreciating yourself for the wonderful creation you are. In the entire history of the world, there has never been another person exactly like you. You are unique and special.
Be honest with yourself, too. We all make mistakes. When you do, admit it, learn from the experience, and move on. I know several people who constantly blame past partners for everything that is wrong in their lives. It would be interesting to know what their previous partners have to say about this. Almost always, there are mistakes on both sides. Admit your mistakes, forgive others and yourself, and move on.
Part of the process is to avoid people who don’t give you the respect you deserve. They cause unnecessary stress and undermine your self-esteem.
When you respect yourself, you’re able to face every situation calmly. You’ll be open to good opportunities, and this will increase your luck.
48. It’s Never Too Late
You can change your life at any age. You can start attracting luck at twenty, fifty, or eighty-five years of age. Your physical age has nothing to do with it. It is never too late.
Many years ago, a sales-representative friend of mine told me he felt he was getting old, as most people in his industry were under forty. He was thirty-eight at the time, and thought it was too late to start again. I thought it strange that someone under forty would think that way, but since then I’ve met many people who also felt trapped by their ages. My friend enjoyed playing poker. After a great deal of encouragement from his friends, he placed a small advertisement in a local paper offering to teach others how to improve their game. This new venture started modestly, but now he’s making a full-time living from it, and feels happy and fulfilled.
There are numerous examples of people starting a new career in their forties, fifties, and later. Grandma Moses (1860–1961), who started painting in her seventies, is a classic example. In 2006, one of her paintings, Sugaring Off, sold for $1.2 million.
A retired man in my city opened up a store selling fresh fruit and vegetables when he was sixty-seven. Now, fifteen years later, he runs a thriving empire of stores offering fresh fruit and vegetables at reasonable prices. I’m sure he has no intention of ever retiring.
Julia Child started out as an advertising copywriter. She was almost fifty when her book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, was published and the career that made her famous began.
Maturity can be an advantage in many fields, as you’ll have many years of life experience behind you. If you’re concerned about your age, spend time evaluating your skills and interests, and decide which one, or more, you’d like to pursue. I can guarantee that as soon as you start, more and more opportunities will come your way, and people will start calling you “lucky.”
49. Life Is a Journey
Every year I set goals for myself. I find them helpful in keeping me on track, and I’m sure I’ve accomplished more with them than I would have without them. However, I consider my goals to be guides, and have no hesitation in changing or even discarding goals, if circumstances change or a fresh opportunity opens up. My goals are flexible, and it’s not the end of the world if I fail to achieve them.
Many people become trapped by their goals. They remain totally fixated on them, and as a result, suffer stress, anxiety, and uncertainty when they remain elusive, or they feel they’re not progressing as quickly as they’d like. It’s hard to feel lucky when you’re constantly stressed, pressured, and worried.
A better, and easier, approach is to see life as a journey, rather than a destination. By focusing on the journey, you’ll be able to appreciate the ride and will spend most of your time enjoying the present moment, rather than worrying about what might or might not eventuate in the future. This approach opens you up to luck in all its forms. Many serendipitous moments, for example, will occur when you’re enjoying the present and are open to fresh experiences.
50. Choose Your Direction
Every day you make choices and decisions. Admittedly, most of these are minor, but they demonstrate your ability to evaluate and make choices in every area of your life. You have the power to choose the direction of your life. In fact, you’re creating it every day with the choices and decisions you make. You can change your thoughts, your reactions, and even your feelings about any aspect of your life. If you’re not happy with the way your life is going, you can’t call yourself a lucky person. However, by deliberately making different choices, you have the ability to change your present and your future, and this enables luck to enter into your life again.
51. Values Plus Goals
To be lucky, your values and goals need to be aligned. If they’re not, luck is unlikely to shine on you, and you’ll feel tense or lacking in motivation. If your values are high but your goals are low, you’ll find it hard to motivate yourself to achieve them. If your goals are high but your values are low, you’ll experience little satisfaction in accomplishing them.
When your values and goals are aligned, you’ll feel positive, motivated—and lucky.
52. Eliminate Negative Habits
A friend of mine is always late. He arrives late for appointments, meetings, and social events. He’s missed flights, and was even too late on one occasion to meet the person he most admires. This was just one of countless opportunities he’s lost. As well as costing him opportunities, this bad habit has caused him a great deal of unnecessary stress.
He’s not alone. We all have negative habits that cost us opportunities, create stress, and slow down our progress through life. If you want to increase your luck, you need to overcome these bad habits.
Choose one negative habit, and focus on it for a month. Congratulate yourself each time you overcome it, but don’t beat yourself down when you fail. Simply remind yourself of your reasons for eliminating this behavior, and resolve to do better next time. Psychologists claim that habits can be changed in just twenty-eight days. Consequently, approximately a month after you decide to overcome an undesirable habit, you should be well on the way to success. Allow another month to ensure the new behavior has become your normal way of life, and then tackle another bad habit. As you do this, your luck will increase.
53. Accept Yourself
You can change negative habits, but you can’t turn yourself into someone you don’t want to be. If you’re an extrovert, for instance, you can learn to listen more or to stop constantly striving to be the center of attention. However, you shouldn’t try to become an introvert, as that is not who you are. Likewise, if you’re an introvert, you should try to be more outgoing and to speak more, but you shouldn’t aim to become an extrovert. No matter if you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between, you should seek your own particular strengths and work with them. You’re most likely to be lucky when you’re making the most of your natural talents and abilities.
54. Be Kind
Surprise someone with an act of kindness. If whoever is behind you in line at the supermarket has only one or two items and you have a cart full of groceries, let the person ahead of you. You’ll feel good, the person you let in front of you will be grateful, and for a while the world will be a better place for both of you. Even something as simple as a smile or a friendly word can help others.
Being kind doesn’t necessarily cost anything, but it helps everyone involved, and makes you feel good about yourself. Your luck cannot help but increase with so much positive energy around you.
55. The Energy of Drishti
Drishti is a Sanskrit word that relates to using the eyes to focus attention on something specific for a particular purpose. In yoga, it’s used to focus on one of nine specific points while the person meditates or practices different asanas. We all use our eyes to see, but yogis also use their eyes to perceive an inner reality that is not normally visible. It enables them to see the divine in everything.
You can practice drishti by using your eyes to send positive, compassionate, and kindly energy to everyone you come across in your everyday life: family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers alike. They may not know you’re practicing drishti, but they’ll sense your benevolence, love, and care. You’ll experience luck everywhere you go as a result.
56. Spend Time with a Child
Ask a teacher if there’s any truth in the saying “kids say the darndest things,” and you’ll immediately be told several humorous stories about life from a child’s point of view. Children look at the world differently than adults, and you can learn a great deal by listening to them and thinking about what they say. It’s a privilege to temporarily see the world through a child’s eyes. You’ll be amazed at the amount of wisdom a small child has and how deeply they think about what’s going on in their lives.
Because of this, I always feel lucky whenever I’m with my grandchildren, especially one-on-one. Although they can be hard work at times, I always return home feeling revitalized and full of ideas.
57. Change One Thing
People often become frustrated when they try to change everything about their lives with one massive effort. It can’t be done. However, you can make huge changes in your life if you make one small change, followed by another, and then another. By making a series of small changes, you’ll ultimately experience huge benefits. It takes three to four weeks to change a habit. Allow as much time as necessary for the habit change to occur, as some changes take more work and effort than others.
There’s another benefit you’ll gain from making a series of incremental changes. Each small success will make you feel better about yourself. This will be reflected in your posture, facial expressions, and thoughts. You’ll feel good about yourself and will become luckier with each change you make.
58. Get in the Zone
When you’re in what athletes call “the zone,” you become so involved in what you’re doing that you lose track of time. The task you’re engaged in should require your full involvement and be both challenging and enjoyable. People often find themselves in the zone when they’re participating in a sport, playing music, writing in a diary, meditating, or doing yoga. An acquaintance of mine is a cabinet maker who appears to go into a trance when he’s working on a major project. He finds it easy to enter the zone. I find myself in the zone frequently when I’m writing. Much to my family’s amazement, I can sometimes forget to eat lunch when my writing is going well.
You’re especially lucky whenever you’re in the zone, as you’re gaining pleasure and satisfaction from working on and completing a difficult or demanding task.
59. Random Acts of Kindness
Most of the time, it’s a pleasure to help friends and family members. We do this when someone we know has done something good for us, or because we want to express our love in a tangible way.
However, there’s also a special joy that comes from helping complete strangers for no reason at all. Practicing random acts of kindness can become addictive, as it’s so beneficial for everyone involved. Even the smallest gesture has the power to change a life. I started practicing random acts of kindness when someone saved me from getting a parking ticket by putting some coins into a parking meter. I have no idea who that person was, but more than twenty years later, I still remember it and try to pay back his or her good deed by doing similar things for others. A friend of one of my sons regularly puts additional money into vending machines, so the next person will receive a free snack.
Of course, you can also do this without spending any money. Paying someone a compliment costs nothing and makes everyone feel good. Simply smiling at someone can raise their spirits. A retired man I know spends a few hours a week visiting people in a retirement village. He raises the spirits of many lonely people there. An elderly lady I know regularly receives home-grown vegetables from a young man who lives on her street. He enjoys gardening and gains pleasure from giving his excess vegetables to people within walking distance of his home. Donating time to a worthy cause is a particularly good way to help your local community.
Practicing random acts of kindness increases your luck in many ways. A basic law of the universe says that if you do a good deed for someone, sooner or later you’ll receive something good in return. Sometimes you’ll meet the people you’re helping. These new contacts may become friends who open up new opportunities for you. Your life will improve, as helping others is a guaranteed way of increasing your happiness.