Love and Marriage
Introduction
My wife and I have been happily married for more than forty years. Some of our friends have been married for many years, too. We also have friends who have been married a number of times, and friends who are single and searching for the right partner. It’s not surprising that there are probably more suggestions on how to increase your luck in the area of love and marriage than in any other aspect of life.
My wife and I know a middle-aged man who would love to meet a suitable woman and get married. However, he does absolutely nothing to help himself. He works at home, and leaves his house only to buy groceries and other supplies. At one time he placed advertisements on dating sites, but he didn’t follow up on any of the leads he obtained. Unless he makes an effort, his chances of meeting women are almost zero. Luck often involves being in the right place at the right time. He’s unlikely to meet anyone in his home. Consequently, his luck would increase enormously if he made an effort to visit more places. If he did that, sooner or later he’d start meeting people, and if he met enough of them, in time he’d probably find a partner. Here are a number of methods that people have used to become luckier in the areas of love and marriage. If you’re seeking more luck in this area, remain positive, keep telling yourself that the right person is waiting for you to find him or her, and experiment with the suggestions in this chapter.
151. Kiss as Many People as Possible
In his book, On Love, Dr. Bubba Nicholson says that kissing is a highly effective way to taste and smell semiochemicals on people’s skin. Semiochemicals enable people to subconsciously assess their degree of compatibility with other people. It follows that if you want to be lucky in love, you need to kiss as many people as possible until you find the right person for you.
152. Be Lovable
If you want to be loved, you need to be loving and lovable. This should continue long after the courtship and marriage. If you continue doing whatever it was that made you attractive in the first place, your relationship will continue to strengthen and grow.
153. Love Letters
Love letters are lucky for both the writer and recipient. However, as strong emotions are generated by writing and reading a love letter, numerous superstitions offer advice on when and how to write a suitable letter.
The best day to write a love letter is supposed to be Friday. This is because Friday is dedicated to Venus, the goddess of love. The word “Friday” comes from the Old English word frigedaeg, which means “Frige’s (Freya’s) day.” Freya was the wife of the Norse god Odin. However, the word for “Friday” in most European languages comes from the Latin dies Veneris, which means “Venus’s day.” Consequently, Freya became connected to Venus, and Friday is considered Venus’s day.
Love letters should not be typed or written in pencil. They should be written with a pen.
It’s a good omen if your hand trembles while writing a love letter. This means that the recipient reciprocates your love.
Once written, the letter should not be posted on a Sunday, or for some unknown reason, on February 29, September 1, or December 25.
If you receive a love letter, you should examine the envelope carefully. If the flap has come open in the post, or if the stamp is of an incorrect value, it’s a sign that there are problems in the relationship.
It’s bad luck to propose by letter. You can exchange as many love letters as you wish, but save the proposal until you are together in person.
154. The Law of Attraction
The law of attraction says that whatever you ask for, the universe will provide. Consequently, if you’re looking for a partner, you need to think carefully about all the desirable qualities you’re looking for and send this thought out to the universe.
You do this by focusing on the qualities you desire as often as you can. Lying in bed before drifting off to sleep is a good time to do this. However, you should also do this at odd times during the day. You can think about your desire for a suitable partner while waiting in line, waiting for traffic lights to change, or traveling. We all get a certain amount of dead time during the day.
In the past, people tried a number of different methods to find a husband or wife. One common one was to carefully peel an apple, making sure to cut the skin into one long piece. Once that’s been accomplished, you had to turn around three times and throw the skin over your shoulder. You could then examine the shape it created, as it should reveal the first letter of your future lover’s name. You can do this whenever you wish, but the best day of the year for this experiment is October 28, which is the feast day of St. Simon and St. Jude.
Once you’ve found a potential partner, you can perform the traditional children’s game of plucking the petals off a daisy while reciting, “S/he loves me, s/he loves me not.”
155. Red Roses
As the rose is considered the flower of love, it’s an extremely lucky sign for a young woman to dream of a rose. It’s even luckier if she dreams of a red rose.
Women in England used to pick a red rose on Midsummer’s Eve and wrap it carefully in white paper. They would then hide it in a safe place until Christmas Day. If the rose still appeared fresh, the woman would wear it to church on Christmas morning. Her future husband would see it, and either compliment her on the rose or remove it. If the rose had died, the woman would remain single for another year.
Roses could also be used to determine the depth of someone’s love. The person enquiring about the degree of love had to snap the stem of a rose. The louder the noise, the more passionate and devoted the person would be.
In Victorian times, when couples were nearly constantly chaperoned, flowers were used to convey secret messages. In this system, red roses symbolized passion and white roses pure, chaste love.
Cupid is said to have been stung by a bee while admiring a beautiful rose bush. He became so angry that he shot an arrow at the bush, and the bush bled, causing all the flowers to turn red. Another story involving Cupid says that he accidentally spilled red wine over a rose bush, turning the roses red.
156. Love at First Sight
The ancient Greeks believed that man and woman were originally one. The gods cut them into two to weaken them, as they thought humankind was planning to overthrow them. This, they believed, was the reason why people could fall in love at first sight. They were simply recognizing the other half of their original selves.
Geoffrey Chaucer (c. 1343–1400) wrote: “She lovede right from the firste sighte” (Troilus and Criseyde, 1375); Christopher Marlowe (1564–1593), the Elizabethan playwright, wrote: “Whoever loved, that loved not at first sight!” (Hero and Leander, 1598).
A tiny purple flower called love-in-idleness is associated with love at first sight, because an old legend says that Cupid’s arrow pierced one of these flowers. William Shakespeare (1564–1616) the English dramatist, made fun of the concept of love at first sight by suggesting that placing a small tincture of liquid from one of these flowers on the eyelids of a sleeping person “will make a man or woman wildly dote upon the next live creature that it sees” (A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, act II, scene i). In Shakespeare’s tragedy, Romeo and Juliet, Romeo falls in love at first sight.
Love at first sight is not impossible, as attractiveness can be determined in a fraction of a second, and a few minutes conversation can determine the compatibility or otherwise of the two people concerned.
If you want to be lucky enough to fall in love at first sight, be extremely vigilant on the seventh day after the full moon. According to tradition, this is the most likely day for two people to fall in love at first sight.
157. Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall
There are many superstitions involving mirrors. The best-known one is that if you break a mirror, you’ll experience seven years of bad luck. Fortunately, there are also positive superstitions involving mirrors, including two ways in which a young woman can see an image of her future lover. A tradition from the Deep South of the United States says a woman can hold a mirror over a well and see in it a picture of her future husband.
In the United Kingdom, it’s said that if a woman places a mirror under her pillow, she’ll be able to see her future husband in her dreams.
You can also stand in front of a mirror and brush your hair three times before going to bed. If you do this, you may experience dreams involving you and your future lover.
158. Flower Power
Flowers play a major role in the folklore of love and marriage. You could ensure the continued faithfulness and love of the person you desired by planting marigold seeds in earth that your desired person had walked on. The plants need to be well tended, as the love will grow as long as the plants continue to thrive.
It’s a sign of love in the near future if you dream of a red rose.
If you want to attract a lover, put fresh daisies under your pillow every night before going to bed. You are likely to have vivid dreams involving your future lover. Continue doing this until you meet the right person.
You can also see your future lover in your dreams if you sprinkle a sprig of rosemary and a sprig of thyme with water three times, and then place one in each of your shoes. Place the shoes at the foot of your bed immediately before going to sleep.
159. Lucky Days for Proposals
Traditionally, the man always proposed to the woman, except in a leap year when it was acceptable for a woman to propose to a man. Nowadays, it doesn’t matter much who does the proposing, but whoever it is should pay some attention to the day of the week on which the proposal is to be made.
The couple will lead happy and eventful lives if the proposal is made on a Monday. They will enjoy harmonious lives together if the proposal is made on a Tuesday. They will never argue if the proposal is made on a Wednesday. They will both achieve their major goals if the proposal is made on a Thursday. They will need to work hard to achieve success if the proposal is made on a Friday. They will enjoy a highly compatible, harmonious life together if the proposal is made on a Saturday. Traditionally, a proposal should never be made on a Sunday, as that is the Lord’s day.
160. The Wedding Day
Once the right partner has been found, it’s traditional to get married. Certain days are considered lucky, and it makes good sense to select one of them. Here are some of the things you need to consider.
The ancient Romans honored their dead in May, and during this month everyone wore mourning clothes. Even now, two thousand years later, May is not considered a good month to get married in. The old saying “marry in May, and you’ll rue the day” still seems to apply. Conversely, June is considered an extremely lucky month to get married in. This is because in Roman mythology Juno and Jupiter were married in June. June was Juno’s month, and the ancient Romans liked to have their weddings in that month to ensure her blessing. Two thousand years later, June is still an extremely popular month to get married in.
You shouldn’t get married during Lent (the six weeks before Easter), or on Childermas (December 28), Maundy Thursday (the Thursday before Easter), St. Swithin’s Day (July 15), or St. Thomas’s Day (December 21).
You also need to be careful which day of the week to get married on. An old nursery rhyme goes:
Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday, the best day of all.
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday no luck at all.
Saturday was disliked, as superstitious people believed one of the partners would die early. However, Saturday is now the most popular day for weddings, as most people have the weekend off.
Of course, even following all of this, you still need to be lucky with the weather. Getting married on a wet, rainy day portends a difficult marriage, compared to the old saying: “Blessed is the bride that the sun shines on.”
161. The Engagement Ring
The engagement ring is the first visible sign that a couple is going to get married. Certain stones in the engagement ring are supposed to be luckier than others. The luckiest stones are diamonds, emeralds, rubies, and sapphires. Opal is an unlucky stone for most people, but is lucky for women born in October. As pearls symbolize tears, they’re considered unlucky in an engagement ring.
Friends of the bride-to-be can place the engagement ring on the tip of one of their fingers and make a wish, which will always be granted.
162. The Wedding Dress
To increase the amount of good luck in a marriage, the bride needs to wear “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.”
The “something old” is often the wedding veil, which was originally worn to protect the bride from the dreaded evil eye. The veil is often a family heirloom. The veil may also be “something borrowed.” In this case, it’s important that the veil belongs to someone who is, or was, happily married. The veil should not be worn before the ceremony, and it’s bad luck for the bride to see herself in a mirror while wearing it. Sometimes the “something old” is a piece of family jewelry, or some other item that has been in the family for a long time.
The “something new” is usually the wedding gown. The “something borrowed” often comes from a happily married woman who is a friend of the family. “Something blue” relates to fidelity, love, and purity. Often a blue garter is worn to satisfy this requirement. It’s common for a bride to place a coin in her shoe, as this ensures good fortune in the marriage.
Sometimes the final stitch in the wedding dress is not completed until immediately before the bride leaves for her wedding. This provides her with additional good luck.
It’s extremely good luck for the bride if she gets married in the same wedding dress as her mother.
Silk is arguably the best material for the wedding dress. This is because it increases the bride’s luck.
163. The Wedding Ring
The charming custom of exchanging wedding rings dates back at least two thousand years. Tertullian (c. 160–c. 225), an early Christian writer, mentions a golden ring that was sent to the bride as a formal promise that the marriage would take place. William Shakespeare referred to the exchange of rings in Twelfth Night (1602):
A contract of eternal bond of love,
Confirm’d by mutual joinder of your hands,
Attested by the holy close of lips,
Strengthen’d by interchangement of your rings. (act V, scene i)
The Puritans tried to abolish the wedding ring, saying it was a heathen superstition. However, the custom continued, and it would be hard to imagine a wedding today in which the bride did not receive a wedding ring. In fact, nowadays, the groom almost always receives a wedding ring, too.
164. The Bridesmaids
The custom of bridesmaids dates back to times when people opposed to the marriage would try to carry the bride away. The bridesmaids had to protect the bride and make sure this didn’t happen.
It can be lucky to be a bridesmaid, as it’s expected that she’ll receive a proposal of marriage herself within twelve months. However, it’s bad luck to be a bridesmaid three times, as this means you’ll become an old maid. Fortunately, there is a remedy. You need to become a bridesmaid four more times, making a total of seven, and all the bad luck will disappear.
It’s very lucky for the bride to have a matron of honor. This is because the presence of a happily married woman in the bridal party symbolizes the wedded bliss that the bride can expect.
165. Rice and Confetti
The custom of throwing confetti over the bride and groom as they left the church is derived from an ancient practice of scattering corn on the head of the bride. Corn was a symbol of abundance, and it ensured the young couple would lead happy, and hopefully prosperous, lives with plenty of children. Wheat was frequently used instead of corn. Rice gradually replaced corn and wheat, and was in turn superseded by confetti.
166. The Wedding Cake
The wedding cake is an essential part of the wedding celebration, as it brings good luck to everyone who eats it. Traditionally, absent friends are sent a slice of the cake to ensure they can share in the good luck.
The cake should be rich and tasty, as this symbolizes abundance in the marriage.
The bride always cuts the first piece of cake, and makes a silent wish. If someone else cuts the first slice, the bride risks not having any children. This is because the wedding cake also symbolizes numerous offspring. Usually, the groom helps his bride cut the first slice by placing his hand over hers. This enables him to share in his bride’s good fortune.
Sometimes the bride keeps a tier of her wedding cake to be used as a christening cake. This ensures the couple will produce children.
In England, small pieces of cake used to be passed through the bride’s wedding ring nine times and given to the bridesmaids. Later, they would be placed under their pillows to enable them to dream of their future lovers.
167. Get Me to the Chapel on Time
If the bride’s family has a cat, the bride needs to feed it, as this will ensure a long and happy marriage. (Interestingly, it’s also a sign of good luck if the cat sneezes on the day before the wedding.)
On her way to the church, the bride-to-be has to leave her home by the front door, and step across the threshold with her right foot first. In the United Kingdom, it’s good luck if the bride sees a black cat, a gray horse, an elephant, a rainbow, or a chimney sweep on her way to the church. Nowadays, as most people live in cities, it’s unlikely that she’ll see a gray horse or an elephant. However, it’s possible to hire a chimney sweep who will happen to be in the right place at the right time, and offer good wishes to the bride.
Once she reached the church, the bride had to enter it again with her right foot first. She should not enter the church using a door that faces north.
168. The Bride’s Bouquet
The bridal bouquet symbolizes fertility and the hope that the married couple will soon be blessed with a family. The ribbons tied around the bouquet also provide good luck.
The custom of the bride tossing her bouquet is an American tradition that began in the early years of the twentieth century and spread throughout the world. It supposedly began as a way in which the bride could misdirect the guests and, amid the confusion, leave the ceremony. Anything worn by the bride is considered lucky. Consequently, the lady who catches the bridal bouquet receives good luck, and is supposed to be the next person to get married.
169. Crossing the Threshold
It’s traditional for the bridegroom to carry his new bride over the threshold. This is done to preserve the luck of the bride and groom in their new home. The origins of this tradition are unknown. However, there are two stories that are intended to explain it. One says it dates back to prehistoric times when men carried women off against their will to be their wives. By carrying her over the threshold, the groom symbolically carries his wife off to her new life. Another story says that it goes back to Roman times, and was a sign that the bride was giving up her virginity reluctantly. Either way, it’s a pleasant tradition that brings luck to the happy couple.
170. Honeymoon
The honeymoon is the couple’s first vacation together after the wedding. Samuel Johnson (1709–1784) described the honeymoon as “the first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure.” No one knows where the term “honeymoon” originated, but it’s possible it began in Babylon where newly married couples would drink alcohol made from honey for the first month of their marriage. The first literary reference to the word dates back to 1552 when it appeared in Richard Huloet’s English-Latin dictionary, Abecedarium Anglico-Latinum. He made an ironic observation, saying that love, like the moon, inevitably waned.