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The natural siding of the cottage looked good surrounded by the orange, gold and red of autumn leaves, but Jake preferred it with a backdrop of snow. Lots of angel-making snow.
He parked in front of the garage that housed the plow, and instead of going to the front door, circled around to the back, and smiled when he saw her walking up from the lake. His instincts, as always, had served him well. She was wearing the cartoon shirt she’d bought when they had been together in Vancouver. He was wearing his too.
“Hey,” Tara said as he approached. “Nice shirt.”
Jake didn’t waste his breath on words. He took her face in his hands and said hello in a much more satisfying way. Her arms encircled him and she held on tight while they celebrated.
Finally lifting his head, he grinned. “I don’t know which I missed more, your look, or the taste of you.” He stuck his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled noisily. “Or maybe your scent.”
She tipped back her head and laughed.
“Oh god, that’s it. The sound of you laughing undoes me.” He picked her up and swung her around. “I’ve missed you so damned much,” he said, and sunk into another long kiss until a loud and plaintive meow coming from the house drew them apart.
“Nixie missed you, too. We should go inside.”
“In a minute, okay? First, I have news.” He needed to do this without the distractions of Nixie and Charlie. Just him and Tara, out here on the patio.
“Since yesterday?”
They’d spent an hour on the phone together the night before, and he’d told her how Vedigan Way had been found, alive and well and living on a ranch in Idaho. But this news, he’d wanted to tell her in person. “Yeah. I saved it so I could see your face when I told you.”
“It’s bad.”
She’d tensed visibly and he kicked himself. “No, it’s good, really good.” He smiled and grabbed her in a quick hug, then leaned back so he could watch her face. “Thomas Brady, is not your biological father. I have a DNA test to prove it.”
She laughed easily. “I know. I found out when I was at Paradise with Grace.” She kissed him, then drew away and a hint of sadness flickered in her eyes. “Turns out, Rose wasn’t my mother either. Her own baby, Brady’s child, was stillborn.”
He blew out a breath. “Well then.” He was at a loss for what to say because, holy crap, seemed inappropriate.”
Tara took his hands. “Here’s the deal. My aunt Hannah is really my mother. She had an affair with a married man, and voila, yours truly is the product of their union. And, I have five half-siblings somewhere out there.”
He watched her. “You learned all this at the same time as the information that Brady was involved in your mother’s, Rose’s, death.” It had happened nearly a week ago and she hadn’t told him. But telling him would have changed nothing, so what difference did it make? None. Hadn’t he done the same thing, withholding information until he got here? Of course he had. Something inside him smoothed out. They were going to be okay. He’d known that when she’d left the ranch.
Tara was studying his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you then, but I was still getting used to the idea and wanted to tell you in person. Now, about Rose, anything more on that?”
He rubbed up and down her arms. “Meyers is sending a private search team into the area of the coordinates you provided. They’re good—no, they’re the best—so if there’s anything to find, they’ll find it.”
“Great.” She leaned against him. “It’s been so many years. Do you think fingerprints would last?”
“No. But I’m betting the prosecution will be able to convince Brady that they have.”
“First they have to find the thermos. And Rose.” She slipped her arms around his waist. “She’ll still be dead. Even if her remains are found and her killer is brought to justice. None of that changes the fact that I lost my mom.” Tara sighed. “I have something else to tell you.”
Nixie let out another plaintive high-pitched yowl.
“Let’s take it inside before she starts shredding the screen,” said Tara.
As it was, when they got to the door, they found the calico kitten halfway up the curtains.
Jake slid the door open and plucked her free. “Silly girl. Where were you going?” He gave her a good rub and set her on the floor beside Charlie who greeted him with a solemn one-eyed stare, then head-bumped his leg. Jake scratched him behind the ears.
“You want some iced coffee?”
Was she stalling? “Sure. Thanks.” He stroked the two felines until they were purring in stereo and then followed Tara to the kitchen. Color, he thought. It’s everywhere.
Cushions, blankets tossed over the backs of chairs, placemats. A riot of bright blues, greens, oranges, and yellows. He nearly laughed when she handed him a glass painted with green and white stripes. “You’ve been redecorating.”
“It’s mostly stuff I put away because Rose’s things made me miss her more. I was a mess back then, Jake.”
“With good reason.”
“True enough. But it got worse, and that’s what I want to tell you about, to get one last secret off my chest.” She circled the room before finally sitting on the hearth of the cold fireplace.
“Okay.” If he never heard the word “secret” again it would be too soon. He sat on the edge of the chair across from her.
“Way back when Stan brought me home from the farm, nothing mattered to me but Charlie and getting him well. I was obsessed at first and panicked if he was out of my sight. I used to sit beside him, watching him breathe and after a few days, when he was obviously doing better, Stan informed me of my cousin’s death. That was the first time I remember thinking that I should feel something. But I didn’t. It was like I was empty. Had no emotions left.”
Hard to imagine her that way, and yet, there’d been that tightly controlled persona when he’d been here last winter. “A body needs time to recover.”
“It went on for months, as though I lived in a bubble that prevented anything from touching me. Except Charlie. I clung to him like a lifeline. Stan tried a couple of times to bring a psychologist here to talk to me, but I’d just lock myself in my room. I spent hours staring into the fireplace, whether there were flames there or not. I’d watch the coals go from red to black, and just keep staring. It was an ugly time.” She raised her glass and drank deeply, not putting it down until it was nearly empty, then she prowled the room as though looking for something and Jake wished he could take away whatever pain was eating at her.
“It got worse.” Choosing a soft chair this time, she sat again and became very still. “I couldn’t feel anything at all, and one night when I was really freaked out, I started throwing things at the fireplace. Books, ornaments, a lamp... anything I could pick up and heave, I did. It was like I was trying to feel angry, but it was trapped inside me and I couldn’t get it out.”
With a sigh, Tara laid her head back against the padded cushion and closed her eyes. “All that mess... After a while, I began picking things up. Putting them back where they belonged. But my treasured glass horse was broken beyond repair. My mom had given it to me and there was nothing left but shards of glass, and still, I felt nothing. I knew I should be sad or mad or something, but all I could think of was that I might as well be dead like her. While I stared at the pieces in my hand, I closed my fist, squeezing harder and harder until a tiny tingling started and I opened my hand. Blood.” Her eyes were open again, but unfocused. “His blood.”
Charlie climbed into her lap as she downed the rest of her drink. She gathered him in, rubbing her face against his fur for a minute. “I went to the bathroom and ran cold water across my palm, I liked seeing his blood coming out of me, mixing with the water until it was nothing, and then it was disappearing down the drain. I was purging my heritage and the shame that went with it. And there was also the tiniest awareness of pain.” She shuddered and Jake wanted to reach for her, but instinct told him to leave her be.
“That was the night the door to something ugly opened. I’d found a way to feel. I kept the pieces of glass.” She held out her hands, palm up, and stared at them as though she could see the fragments still sitting there. “They were a symbol, representing my mother’s love, and a tool, helping me get rid of the evil that was my father, because his blood ran in my veins. Each night, before bed, I’d take a piece of that glass and dig it into my arm until I felt something and I’d watch the blood trickle down, and off my fingers.” She pushed up her sleeves to expose the insides of her lower arms. “Over the days, weeks, and months, the tiny tingle grew, became more, and I’d bask in the pain. I’d smile as I watched his blood become nothing.”
Jake ached for the child she’d been.
“I got through the empty days because I knew I’d get relief at night. My arms were riddled with dozens of tiny, half-healed wounds, and I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. And I constantly flirted with the ultimate cut. With draining all of his blood from my veins. Those were the times when Charlie’s insistent meowing would pull me back from where I’d gone.”
She went quiet for a bit, but the hand on the cat never stilled, so Jake waited.
“Fainting in the kitchen one day probably saved my life. I’d run out of the alcohol I’d been using to clean my wounds—it also gave me yet another stinging connection to reality—and I was sick with infection. My sleeves came up when Stan lifted me off the floor, and what he saw had him hauling me to a hospital. The rest is history.”
“That must have been hard for both of you.”
“It was more ugly than hard, but we got through it. I spent a few years in therapy, and still carry around the reminders.” She absently rubbed the mottled flesh. “I had a violent reaction to the topical antibiotics, that’s why it looks more like burn scarring.”
“Why do you hide it?”
She shrugged. “Shame more than vanity. I think scars should mean you’ve survived something bad that you had no control over.”
“Didn’t you?” He ran his fingertips over the bumpy skin. “You’re a warrior, Tara. An amazing example of a fighting spirit, and I love you.” Her eyes widened. “I know, it seems like weird timing to say it, but...”
Tara blinked and wanted to laugh out loud because... Well, she wasn’t exactly sure why. Except there was an odd sensation of freedom now, because there were no more secrets, no more lies, and the love she felt for this man filled her to the brim.
She let the laughter escape. Reveled in it, then she set Charlie on the floor and curled into Jake’s lap. “If I was a cat,” she said. “I’d be purring.”
Damn. She’d almost forgotten. “Hang on, there’s more. I have something to—” She tried to get up but he held her tight.
“Nope, my turn, because you wouldn’t let me say it before you left the ranch.” He turned her so she was looking right into eyes that were very serious. Her heartbeat picked up.
She managed a nod.
He took both of her hands in one of his. “I haven’t worked out any of the details yet, because location doesn’t matter to me, and there’s options, so where we live is probably up to you, but here’s the deal. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He pulled a tiny black leather box out of his pocket and put it in her hand before he opened it.
Tara lifted out the ornate ring and studied it as laughter bubbled up inside of her. Two tiny cats wound together, one in white gold, one in yellow, with minuscule diamonds for collars, and emerald eyes. She’d seen it in Vancouver and meant to go back for it, but then they’d had to leave town suddenly.
Her heart pounded in some kind of crazy Reggae rhythm. He got her. Knew a big flashy diamond wouldn’t mean half what this ring did.
“I love you,” she said. “I love you so damned much I feel like I’m going to burst at the seams.” She kissed him then, holding on like she’d never let go, until Nixie climbed up to try and get between them. Obviously there’d have to be a closed door between them and the cats at night.
“Oh,” she said, and jumped up. “I have a present for you. Wait there.” She scooped up the kitten and headed out of the room.
“Close your eyes,” she said from the hallway, then she gently placed the enormous tabby in his lap.
Jake grinned as he stroked the big cat from the same café where he’d bought her ring. “You realize this means you’ll have to marry me.”
“Is that your best proposal?”
“I’d do better, but I have the wrong purring creature in my lap.”
Tara laughed. “I love you, Jake Meyers.”
“Good thing, as we appear to already have a family. Any idea where you want to live?”
“Anywhere with water. Lake, ocean or river.”
“My parents offered me their big house in Malibu. Would that suit you?”
“Give me ten minutes. I’ll get the crates for the cats and be ready to go.”
He laughed and set the tabby cat aside. “Not so fast, lady. First, you have to kiss me to seal the deal.”
She slid onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “On second thought, let’s stay here tonight and travel tomorrow.”
“Excellent idea.”
And then she kissed him.
~~~
Dear Reader,
I sincerely hope you enjoyed Jake and Tara’s story as much as I did!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Angie’s mystery man is about to not only be identified, but he’s going to really mix things up, with both old characters, and new. It’s a fun story with, of course, a happy ending, but boy oh boy, things sure get complicated. Dhillon and Chance play a big roll, as do James, Grace, and Logan. Unlike the last couple of stories, there are no horse characters, but you’ll get to meet some brand new Meyers children!
Okay, that’s all I’m going to share for now. ALL SHE WANTED, will be going up for pre-order in early 2016. Psst, this book’s got a man on the cover, because hey, after I zeroed in on him as Angie’s lover, I just couldn’t stop staring at the picture.
Back to business. Here’s where I ask for your help. If you loved this book, please share with others by taking a minute, going back to the retailer’s page and leaving a review.
It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it sure helps an author out if potential readers can see what others said about a book. Besides that, even a one line review makes me happy-dance around the writing cave, and Bear, my writing partner, appreciates the entertainment.
If by chance you didn’t enjoy LIES, your comments are welcome as well, and kudos for reading to the end anyways, I hope your next reading experience is happier.
Cheers!
Kathryn.
Dedication:
This book is dedicated to people who make the welfare of cats a priority through http://www.tinykittens.com/ and http://www.lapsbc.ca/
Their courage and dedication has made a difference in too many lives to name, but I can’t resist sharing a few of the ones who touched my heart on either the internet or in person, making me laugh, or cry, or with nothing more than single blink of an eye, made my heart soar.
An enormous thank you to Cassidy the miracle kitten, the undercooked but mighty Eep, fearlessly determined Forest, sweet Pip, Skipper the goat, supermoms Eve, Tip, and Zelda, James Bond, Cleopatra, Timmy, Bagheer, Margarita, Fergie, Patti, Dale, the Taylor litter, Potato litter, Girls litter, Calla Lilly, Pinecone, Mr. T, Rhodes, Rollins, Sloane, Sisko, Mila, and in memory of Lance, Oliver, Quark, Tadpole, and Toothless.
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Acknowledgements:
I’ve been told it takes a village to raise a child. And as my books are like children, I have a village to thank, so here goes.
Many thanks to: author L. j. Charles for your wonderful critiquing skills and advice; Barb for the sharp-eyed reading and spot-on suggestions; Judi Fennell for the awesome editing and formatting; Little Red Editing Services for proofing; The Killion Group Inc. for the incredible cover, and PR; Cherry Adair for her no-nonsense encouragement (virtual butt kicking); Sandy James for encouraging me to keep rockin’ the words; My RWA Kiss of Death Chapter sisters for the endless support; Sisters of Suspense for support and encouragement; Linda and Don for daring to teach me to fly thirty years ago; My Charming Prince for loving me and for looking after us all while this story made its way onto the page; Bear for the purring and good company while we were locked in the writing cave with the tunes cranked up; Wolfe because you may be gone but your pictures on and over my desk make me smile every day; and my family, for their love and support throughout this convoluted adventure—You are the constants in my journey. You’ve egged me on and believed in me always. I love you.
About the Author
Award winning author Kathryn Jane writes about the kind of women she’d like to hang out with—smart, self-reliant, think on their feet ladies who are just as happy eating a loaded hot dog at a ballgame as they are sipping champagne in the back of a limo.
Her heroines laugh as hard as they cry, appreciate good sweaty sex, and know how to keep a secret.
Her heroes are hot, tough, and inherently kind. But often baffled by the women they dare to love.
Kathryn is living her own happily-ever-after in a cottage on the west coast of Canada. Among her favorite things are the smell of the ocean, crisp sunny days, the warm breath of a horse, cats with a sense of humor, dogs that love to please, music, and kind people. She collects beach glass and rocks, has a single string of tiny Christmas lights that she turns on all year round. Besides reading and writing, her favorite pastime is hanging out at the beach with the people she loves.
For more information about Kathryn and her other books, check out her website http://kathrynjane.com/
www.facebook.com/kathryn.jane.921
https://www.facebook.com/authorKathrynJane
https://twitter.com/@Author_Kat_Jane
Other books by Kathryn Jane
THE INTREPID WOMEN SERIES
Book 1 – Do Not Tell Me No
Book 2 – Touch Me
Book 3 – Daring To Love
Book 4 – Voices
Book 5 – Lies
Book 6 – All She Wanted
Book 7 – Dance With Me
Book 8 – untitled (spring 2017)