Chapter Forty-Six

Angel wasn’t surprised to see John’s photo pop up on the message app. After explaining to Colton what a message app was. She’d met John briefly and knew how much he and Colton looked alike.

The message wasn’t very long, and she read it before realizing it wasn’t her business.

Hey! I set this account up in case you might read it someday. I have a feeling you’re not dead, so it could happen. If it turns out I’m wrong and you really are gone, then I’d rather just pretend you’re reading this. It might be stupid to hope, but I don’t know how to handle this without hope. I miss you, man. I know I’ve got three other brothers, but none of them are you. Robin’s pregnant again. If it’s a boy we’re naming him after you. Please don’t be dead.

She heard a sniff and looked over at Colton, expecting him to be laughing at that last remark. But he wasn’t laughing. His eyes were wet, and though the tears hadn’t breeched, it was close.

“I’ll give you a moment alone,” she said before moving to step away.

His large arm snaked around her waist and pulled her back, his face pressed against her stomach.

“The last thing I need is another goddamned moment alone. I’m fucking sick of being alone. Please just…”

She wrapped her arms around him, allowing her fingers to stroke through his hair in what she hoped was a comforting way. It had been so long since anyone had needed her for anything emotional, she had to think about what to do. It didn’t come naturally anymore. That thought bothered her.

What had she become? She wasn’t heartless—she felt his pain acutely—but she didn’t know what to say to make it better. And she desperately wanted to make it better for him.

She wasn’t sure if he’d cried. If he did, it was silent, the way most men did. Instead of releasing her, he pulled her into his lap.

“Thank you,” he said against her hair.

“I’m so sorry. I wish there was some way…” There were no words to finish the rest of that sentence.

If there was some way she could go back in time to that afternoon when he was shot, she would have protected him. She hadn’t even known his name at that point, but she would have done her job to keep him safe.

She moved to hold him closer, but he turned his head and pressed his lips against hers. It wasn’t soft or brief. It was intense and all consuming, as if he’d been using all his strength to hold it back, and couldn’t keep it contained for another second.

She felt the same way. She held him close, their kiss going deeper. He moaned as his hands grasped her ass and settled her onto the hard ridge in his jeans.

Up until now, she’d believed she was capable of keeping things friendly. Yes, she’d been as attracted to him as always, but she’d been in control.

There was no control now.

She whimpered when he pulled away far enough to remove her shirt. The small distance between them was too much. The time they’d been apart had been too long.

Why had she left? At the time, it had made sense, but now— Now she’d do anything in her power to stay with this man.

They were moving. Actually, he was moving and she was hanging onto him. He’d picked her up and was carrying her down the hall. He only faltered a second as he shouldered open the door to his bedroom.

They’d slept together before. But this was more than just lust or holding someone to offer comfort. This was everything—all of those feelings and more, combined. This was taking and giving in a frenzy of need. The need to be closer.

“Angel?”

“Yes,” she answered his unspoken question, wondering if either of them would have had the strength to stop, even if they’d wanted to.

But she, for one, had no intention of stopping.