Chapter Forty-Eight

Colton knew better.

He knew it was a bad idea to fall for Angel again. She’d nearly destroyed him the last time. He could almost remember that icy feeling in the pit of his stomach when he’d walked out that morning and found Justin on his sofa and Angel gone. No note, no nothing. As if she’d never been there.

As if she hadn’t left a giant fucking hole in his heart.

He also knew he was lonely, and wasn’t making the best decisions at the moment. Yes, she was hot, which—again—didn’t help with his decision-making abilities.

He damn well knew not to pin their future on a condom that had expired two months ago.

He wanted her, but some control remained. Had he wanted to, he could have stopped. If she’d balked, he could have satisfied her in another way until he could make a run to the drugstore.

But he didn’t stop, and the reason scared him almost as much as Viktor Kulakov did.

He couldn’t even put the thought to words. All he knew was, he was going for it. He’d risk the condom because, honestly, it didn’t feel like that much of a risk.

It wasn’t as if he could compel her to stay, even if they made a kid together. But the idea of having a baby with Angel, well, it didn’t scare the hell out of him, as it should have.

Surely, this was just his base instincts coming through. The need to procreate was in every man’s genes. It wasn’t that he was desperate to tie himself to this particular woman. This woman who refused to get attached to anyone. This woman who had been broken and alone for so long he didn’t know if he would ever be able to put all her pieces together again.

But she had everything he could ever want. She was tough and smart. And God, she knew how to move when she was under him. She tilted her hips up on his down stroke, and nearly ended him when she nipped at the skin where his neck met his shoulder.

He might have asked her to slow down, but he could tell she was ruthlessly chasing an orgasm, and he wanted to help her catch it. He went deeper, and she gasped before tensing in that beautiful way that meant she was going over.

When her muscles spasmed around him, he allowed his own release a few strokes later. He held his position until she’d ridden the last wave, then relaxed on top of her, shifting his weight slightly so he wouldn’t crush her.

“Colton.” His name was a whisper on her lips, which about broke his heart. It wasn’t just that he hadn’t heard his real name in a while, but he hadn’t heard it like this—dripping with satisfaction.

They stayed joined together until their breathing slowed, then he rolled to his side and pulled her next to him. Maybe if he held her tight, she wouldn’t be able to leave him.

Her head lifted as she stared at him, her chin on his chest.

“The condom seems to have held,” she reported.

He had been afraid to look. On this side of desire, he could see exactly how stupid he’d been. Now was not the best time for them to bring a child into the world. She was wanted for murder. If they couldn’t clear her, or keep her hidden, she would go away for a very long time.

And he had a phony name and was living a fake life.

“Look, I…” She paused, and he took the opportunity to stop her.

“If you’re thinking of saying anything that even slightly resembles regret, just keep it to yourself. I survived sex with The Mantis. Give me a few moments to bask in the victory.” He chuckled until she elbowed him in the ribs. “Come on. It’s a kickass name. Maybe you should have a cape.”

“I don’t want to talk about capes.”

He let out a breath and closed his eyes. He knew what she was going to say, and he couldn’t take it. “I’m riding a wave of bliss over here, and I don’t want you ruining it,” he cut her off before she could destroy him with her doubts.

“I wasn’t going to ruin anything. I’m on my own bliss wave, so there,” she snapped and even stuck out her tongue.

She put her head back down on his chest and he counted the seconds—fourteen—before she lifted her head again to look at him.

“We shouldn’t have done this.”

And like that, his wave of bliss turned into a tsunami of pain.

“That’s it,” he said as he reached over to grab up the box. “There are two left, and we’re using them right now.” The first one had worked just fine. He wasn’t about to let a box of condoms go to waste.

Maybe he was playing the odds, but he was going to make love to her until she stopped doubting that they could actually work.