I didn’t get my chain tattoo right away. I still had to earn it. A piece at a time. I learned that each link of the chain was tattooed on its own. Like a Boy Scout earns his badge. I got two small circles tattooed on a part of my wrist. One circle for each guy I beat down. I looked at BB’s chain and noticed it wrapped around his wrist several times like a snake starting to crawl up his arm.
“Cool, huh?” Kaden caught me running my finger across the small circles. I didn’t look at him. I just nodded. I realized I would have to fill the chain up with more links. I would always look weak until I hurt enough people to complete my chain. Even then I would have to grow my chain to be respected like BB.
Fear welled up. I pushed it away. Anger welled up. I embraced it. I would need all the anger I could hold on to—to survive.
I went home that night. I took Mae’s gift out of my window. I walked into the kitchen and lifted the lid of the trash can. The blond doll was smiling at me. I threw her in the trash. For a moment I looked at the doll with her hair covered in coffee grounds. Then I closed the lid and turned to walk away.
“What are you doing?” Mom stood in the doorway.
I looked at her and spoke slowly. “That’s not my world anymore.”
“TJ, what are you up to?” Mom was worried. This new mother came too late. “The school called, and you haven’t been there in days.”
I stared at Mom and just shrugged. “I’ve got better things to do.”
I turned to go, and she grabbed my arm. Before I could move away, she saw the two small circles. A quiet cuss word fell from her lips. She looked at me. She looked pale. She dropped my arm. “I guess you do.” She turned and walked back into the living room.