It was midnight before I opened the door to my apartment. It was the first time I could remember that I felt some relief. The familiar smells relaxed my whole body. I was suddenly so tired.
I pushed open my bedroom door and flipped on my light. An old cornflakes box was on my bed. I frowned and walked up to it. I picked it up. It was heavier than a normal box full of cereal.
“I hoped you would come back.” Mom’s voice came from behind me. She didn’t touch me. She didn’t know how. “I kept some things for you while you were gone.” She nodded at the box.
I opened it and pulled out Mae’s Barbie doll. It was cleaned up and smiling at me. Then I reached into the box and pulled out a handful of letters. The smell of strawberry flooded my whole body. I stumbled to my bed as tears started to flow.
Mom came up to me and patted my shoulder. “Whatever you choose I won’t stop you.” She reached down, kissed the top of my head, and left. I couldn’t remember my mother ever kissing me before. The moment was too much for me. I curled up on the bed with my shoes and jacket still on.
I opened the letters and read. Annabelle started by writing about her daily life, including more time with Kelly and the rest of her new friends. But as the letters continued, her words showed worry and fear for me. She always ended with how much she loved me. Her last letter hurt. She couldn’t understand my silence. It must mean I’d moved on. As much as she didn’t want to, she would try to move on too. Strong strawberry scent on this last letter gave away the many kisses with which she sealed her last words.
I finally let myself fall into a fitful sleep. The day had been too much.