I had it all wrong. I thought I was weak. I thought I wasn’t making choices. But I was strong, and I’d made choices and held to them. Val called the choices weak. But I knew I’d been strong. Billy was right. I’d changed. As hard as I tried, I never was much of a Hillside Viper. I knew I could rebuild the gang, but I wasn’t about to put myself in that same position again. I had an opportunity. BB was dead. Kaden and Brian had their own worries. It would take some time before the Hillside Vipers would return.
I walked into our small living room. Mom was sitting on the couch. Awake. There were no drugs. The TV was on. Mom had pulled her hair back into two tight braids. She looked at me as I stood in the door. I had the small suitcase I’d gotten from Miss Dixie in my hand.
Mom stood. She walked up to me and for the first time took me in her arms. She cried. I awkwardly lifted my free arm to wrap around her. She whispered, “I’m proud of you.” She took my face in her hand and said, “Don’t forget me when you make something of yourself.” I nodded.
She walked back to the couch and sat down again. She stared at the TV. I knew then what my mother meant when she said she wouldn’t stop me. Miss Miller’s words came flooding back too. “I promise you I won’t get in your way,” she’d said.
I stood for a moment longer knowing I was free to go. I was free for the first time. I finally said, “Mom, you know I love you. I always have.”
She turned her head and nodded. “I know, baby. I know.”
Then I left.
I walked past the Texaco and kept going for two more blocks down.
I followed the arrow that read Metro.