Adele was lying in the bath. She was supposed to be relaxing but as soon as she was alone, with nothing else to occupy her mind, she began to think. Yes, she had a happy life with John but nothing could eradicate the painful recollections of her past. As she lay there, the memories surfaced. The violence at home. The taunts from other kids. And the scornful way she was treated by adults.
She missed her brother who she rarely saw nowadays. Their lives were too different, making it difficult to relate to each other anymore. But they were still linked together by the past.
There had been a time when Peter had been the closest person to her, and sometimes she yearned for that bond again. She knew Peter had moved on from the squat and now had his own flat. What she didn’t know was how he found the money to pay for the rent and bills. But she had her suspicions, especially since he’d already been in prison, and she guessed that none of his earnings would be legal.
Although Adele had a loving boyfriend and good friends, nobody could replace her brother. There was something about suffering hardship together that brought you closer. A shared knowledge. An unwritten understanding. Years of looking out for each other, which somehow helped to ease the emotional burden. The absence of her brother had left a void in her life and it was one that nobody else could fill.
When her mind refused to switch off, she stepped out of the bath and pulled the plug. She didn’t want to dwell; it wasn’t good to dwell. Adele wrapped the towel around herself and made sure she put the lids back on the bottles of luxury bathroom toiletries which neatly lined the bath.
‘That was quick,’ said John when Adele joined him downstairs.
‘I thought I’d join you to watch some TV,’ she said, snuggling up to him on the sofa.
‘OK, we’ve just got time for a chat before the film starts,’ said John.
There was something about the way John said the word ‘chat’; it sounded ominous. Adele stared at him, her face full of concern, but didn’t say anything while she waited for him to speak.
‘That promotion I told you about,’ he began. Adele could feel the dread in the pit of her stomach as she listened to his words. ‘They want a decision; they’re giving me till Friday.’
‘And?’ she asked.
John took hold of the tops of her arms as he continued to speak, but Adele was stiff and unresponsive.
‘I want to take it, Adele,’ he said. ‘It’s a brilliant opportunity. We could be really happy there. I’ve been doing some research on the area and it sounds great,’ he gushed.
‘I don’t want to go, John,’ she said, exasperated. You know that; I’ve already told you! So what will you do if I don’t come with you?’
John released his hold on her arms, creating a physical distance between them. ‘I’m sorry Adele, but I’m taking it. Please say you’ll come with me. It won’t be the same if you don’t.’
‘For God’s sake, John! There are more important things than money. Don’t you think our relationship is more important than a flaming promotion?’
‘It doesn’t need to be the end of our relationship. Please, Adele, say you’ll come with me!’
‘No!’ she yelled. ‘I’ve told you, I’m not coming. I can’t!’
John also started to become irate. ‘You could come if you wanted to. The fact is, you don’t want to come, do you?’
‘I’ve told you, I can’t!’ she stormed, the rage building within her.
‘Why? Because of your family. A brother you hardly ever see, a father you hate and a neurotic mother who puts on you.’
‘Don’t you dare!’ she warned. ‘My mother needs me. She can’t help the way she is. And I do see Peter.’ Even to her, the words sounded unconvincing.
‘When do you see him?’ John hit back. ‘Hardly ever. He’s a bloody criminal, Adele! You need to give him a wide berth. And as for your mother…’
John didn’t get chance to finish his last sentence. Consumed by temper, Adele reacted without thinking. She smacked him hard across the face, leaving him stunned. John automatically drew up his hand to cover his cheek, which was hot and stinging from the angry blow.
Adele stared, open-mouthed; shocked at her own actions. But it was done. She couldn’t take it back. She waited for John’s words of retaliation. But he didn’t speak; he just looked at her contemptuously then got up from the sofa and walked away.
That cut into her more than any words could have done. ‘I’m sorry, John,’ she said, speeding after him as he left the room. ‘I’m really sorry!’ she shouted up the stairs as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’
She caught up with him and placed a conciliatory hand on his arm.
John spun around, ‘Take your hand off me!’ he demanded.
Adele could see that an angry red welt was forming on John’s cheek, and the guilt tore away at her.
‘Leave me alone,’ he said. ‘I want nothing to do with you.’
‘Please, John! I didn’t mean it. I was just angry when you had a go at my family.’
‘I don’t give a shit about your family! Now go away and leave me alone.’ he shouted. ‘I want nothing more to do with you.’
She pursued him as he sped into the bedroom and took a suitcase from the top of the wardrobe, flinging clothing haphazardly inside it. Despite her pleas, John continued to fill the case. She was desperate; she didn’t want to lose him. Reacting to her own despair, she grabbed at his arm to hold him back.
‘Take your fuckin’ hands of me!’ he yelled. ‘I’ve told you, I want nothing further to do with you.’ She backed off but John wasn’t finished. ‘Y’know, I’ve put up with a lot from you and your family, Adele. Having to visit them when your father hardly speaks two words to me, and trying to make conversation with your docile mother. And as for your brother! I can’t tell you what a relief it is to not be associated with the sister of a criminal anymore.’
Adele didn’t retaliate. She was feeling too remorseful for what she had done to John’s face, and looking at it was making her feel even worse. So, instead, she left him to pack, and returned to the living room. There she sat and cried desperate tears for what she’d lost.
She heard the door slam as John left. Now she had yet another failed relationship behind her. And she was alone once more.