March 15, 1899

I need to keep my mind sharp! When I lose focus is when things start to go wrong, and when things start going wrong, I put myself at greater risk of being discovered.

Neville has noticed how distracted I have been lately, and he has voiced his own concerns with my preoccupied state of mind. He has his own neck to worry about if I happen to drop him from twenty meters in the air, or in some other city (not sure if I am even capable of that), or who knows what else? Maybe he could get stuck in the in-between space…wherever it is he goes for that brief moment he vanishes from our world…stuck…out in the ether. If such a thing is indeed possible, it would truly be a horror.

But how can I keep my mind on this performance when my heart is so distressed? Sav, my Sav, has all but disappeared from my life. And after things were going so well. Something is horribly wrong; I only wish I knew what. Part of me fears that his employer has finally summoned him back to Italy, like I have been dreading for so long.

But that would mean Sav left the country without a word of explanation or goodbye. I cannot imagine he would do something so cruel. Without any correspondence from him, I am left only to worry and wonder.