CHAPTER SIX

WELCOME TO WOW WORLD

The three Spy Toys lounged in comfortable chairs in Auntie Roz’s wood-panelled office, bored out of their computerised minds. Dan eyed a large clock on the wall and heaved a sigh. ‘She said to meet her here at one o’clock,’ he muttered. ‘It’s nearly half past two now. Why is it that your boss can keep you waiting for ages, but if you’re ever ten seconds late, you get a lecture on timekeeping?’

Arabella opened her mouth to agree, but suddenly the door flew open and in trundled a gym treadmill on wheels being pushed by a bored-looking man. Auntie Roz was on the treadmill clad in a stylish tracksuit, jogging briskly, her masses of yellow hair bobbing wildly.

‘Sorry for the delay, team,’ she announced, sounding not the least bit sorry. ‘My last appointment overran, so I’m combining our meeting with the gym session I had planned for afterwards.’

Dan, Arabella and Flax stared at her in astonishment. ‘We’ve waited ninety minutes already,’ said Flax. ‘We don’t mind waiting until you’ve finished your workout.’

Auntie Roz consulted a diary without breaking her stride. ‘After this my chiropodist is coming around to scrape the hard skin off my feet. Would you rather we talked then?’

Dan winced. ‘Now’s good, actually.’

‘Splendid!’ Auntie Roz fished a remote control device from a pocket of her tracksuit. There was a bleep, and her huge computer screen began to lower itself from the ceiling. It showed a photo of a theme park with various rides and attractions. Towering in the background was a tall helter-skelter-like structure painted in garish pink and yellow stripes. ‘I’ve heard all about your encounter with Jade the Jigsaw. Let’s recap what we know. This is the new WOW WORLD theme park Jade mentioned. It’s built by Snaztacular Ultrafun and operated entirely by their toys. It opens tomorrow – a massive public event – and this mysterious Player One person wants to disrupt it. Just imagine it: all they have to do is broadcast the words custard hippo three times over the public address speakers and every toy in the park will be under Player One’s control. It could be absolute chaos.’

Arabella gave a shrug. ‘So cancel the opening. Send in the policebots to nab Player One.’

Auntie Roz snorted. ‘Snaztacular Ultrafun won’t cancel. This opening is too big a deal. Too much money riding on it. The whole world will be watching. It’s a huge advert for them.’

‘It’ll be a bit of a rubbish advert if all their toys go berserk during the opening,’ observed Dan drily.

Auntie Roz nodded. ‘Indeed, Dan. Which is why we plan to send in an undercover team to capture Player One before they can broadcast the code phrase. And that, my three pretty playthings, is where you come in. No pressure, obviously.’

‘How are we going to find this Player One person?’ asked Flax. ‘We don’t know what they look like, and they could be hiding anywhere in the whole park.’

Auntie Roz pointed at the tall, stripy building in the photo. ‘See that thing? It’s called the Bubblegum Tower. Basically a big slide. But at the top is the computer room that controls the entire park. Player One will have to access it to broadcast the custard hippo phrase over the loudspeakers dotted around WOW WORLD. The Weasel Corporation News Network is doing a live broadcast from the park tomorrow at eleven a.m. We think that’s when Player One will start their mischief. Snaztacular Ultrafun’s downfall will be broadcast to the entire world.’

‘What happens if someone says custard hippo to us?’ asked Arabella. ‘We won’t be a whole lot of use.’

‘Excellent point!’ said Auntie Roz. She reached into another pocket of her tracksuit and produced two tiny metal objects, which she tossed at Dan and Arabella.

‘Ah!’ said Flax excitedly. ‘I suppose these are tiny transmitters that jam the effect of the custard hippo phrase? I imagine Dan and Arabella fit them to their headsets?’

Auntie Roz winked. ‘Perceptive as ever, Flax. You, of course, are not a Snaztacular Ultrafun toy and are therefore immune from the custard hippo effect. Just as well, because these little transmitters are monstrously expensive. We could only afford two.’

‘Security at the opening will be tighter than a frog’s pocket,’ said Flax. ‘How are we supposed to do any snooping?’

Auntie Roz smiled mischievously. ‘That’s why you’ll be going to WOW WORLD with these people …’ She clicked her fingers and the door to her office slid open. In walked Doctor Potty and his daughter, Chloe. Gemma Snowdrop and John the unicorn (his horn still partially wonky) were trailing behind. ‘Doctor Potty has offered to help as a way of making up for this whole mess. He and Chloe are guests of honour and have access to all areas of the park. Where they go, you go.’

‘Arabella!’ cried Chloe, and ran to give the rag doll a hug. They performed their secret handshake, both laughing wildly at the bit with the karate chop.

‘Thought you weren’t keen on kids?’ said Dan with an amused smile.

Arabella shrugged. ‘Ah, this one’s OK. She’s a vicious maniac, so how could I not like her?’

‘Ha!’ laughed Chloe. ‘You’re the best doll ever!’

Dan could not help but notice how the elegantly dressed doll standing next to the unicorn was scowling at Arabella. Jealousy, he mused, was a terrible thing.

Friday morning was warm and bright. A few small, marshmallowy clouds hung lazily overhead in the late summer sky as Doctor Potty’s car slid through the immense gateway of WOW WORLD and joined the long queue of vehicles waiting to be admitted.

Chloe was sharing the back seat with Gemma, John and the three Spy Toys. She pressed her nose against the window and made a piglike snort. ‘There’s millions of cars ahead of us,’ she groaned. ‘It’ll take us hours and hours and hours to get in.’

Doctor Potty chuckled. ‘Fear not. Look up ahead.’

Chloe strained her neck to peer through the windscreen. A large round sign on a post exclaimed:

SUPER-FAST VIP ENTRANCE THIS WAY!

An arrow pointed to a narrow road that skirted the huge queue of cars.

‘See that?’ said Doctor Potty. ‘That’s for Very Important People like us to jump the queue. Here we go!’

With a burst of speed, he turned off on to the narrow road. All his passengers cheered.

Chloe pointed at the hundreds of glum faces waiting in the slow-moving queue of cars as they zoomed past. ‘Ha!’ she smirked. ‘See ya later, suckers!’

Nearing the main body of the park, their car pulled up beside a ticket booth with a long barrier shaped like a stick of rock. Doctor Potty wound down the car window.

‘Hello!’ he called to the large toy triceratops inside the booth. ‘The name’s Potty. Doctor Percival Potty. My daughter, Chloe, and I are your guests of honour today for the grand opening ceremony. Can you let us in?’

The triceratops harrumphed and consulted a clipboard. ‘Sorry, mate,’ she rumbled. ‘No Potty on my list.’

‘Then there must be a mistake,’ said Doctor Potty. ‘Can you check with your boss?’

‘’Ang on,’ said the triceratops, and picked up a tiny walkie-talkie.

‘What’s going on?’ asked Chloe.

‘Nothing, dear,’ said Doctor Potty. ‘We’ll be inside any moment now. Just you see.’

‘’Ello,’ boomed the triceratops into the walkie-talkie. ‘It’s Charlotte ’ere. Got a chap at the VIP entrance, name of Potty. Reckons ’e’s the guest of honour today?’ There was a pause. The triceratops squinted at Doctor Potty. ‘Yeah,’ she said into walkie-talkie, ‘that’s ’im. Looks a bit like a sad potato.’ Another pause. ‘Righto,’ said the triceratops. ‘Thanks, Lucas. Bye.’ She put the walkie-talkie down and folded her thick, stubby arms. ‘Sorry, Doctor Potty. I’m afraid your VIP status has been withdrawn.’

‘What?’ spluttered Doctor Potty. ‘Why? I’m a senior employee at Snaztacular Ultrafun. I’m a Very Important Person indeed!’

‘My boss tells me you were the person responsible for losing a load of top-secret company information from your computer,’ said the triceratops. ‘Might have cost Snaztacular Ultrafun billions. And for that reason, the top brass have decided that for the purposes of visiting this ’ere theme park, you are not as important a person as you thought you were.’

Doctor Potty shook his head, confused. ‘So what are you telling me exactly?’

‘What I’m tellin’ you, mate,’ said the triceratops, pointing a stubby claw at the immense line of cars in the distance, inching their way towards the main ticket booth, ‘is get to the back of the queue!’

After what seemed like years to Chloe, they reached the front of the long, snaking queue of vehicles, bought their entrance tickets and were directed to a vast car park. From where Doctor Potty eventually found a parking space, the towers and rides of the WOW WORLD park were barely visible in the distance. He opened the door and Chloe leaped out immediately, her face a picture of manic excitement.

‘Come on, guys!’ she cried, and sprinted off towards the park entrance at top speed. Arabella and Gemma raced to keep up with her. The others followed at a more measured pace.

‘Excitable little mite, isn’t she?’ said Dan, amused.

The unicorn shook his head sadly. ‘You have no idea.’

Inside, WOW WORLD was a seething mass of beaming faces, blaring noise and weird smells. Hundreds of children and their parents hurried happily from one startling attraction to the next. There were swooping roller coasters that swished and rattled overhead, provoking delighted screams from their passengers. There were ducks to be hooked and targets to be bullseyed. There were rides with slides and stalls with balls and attractions with distractions of every sort. In Yikesville, children ran screaming happily from cute clockwork ghosts. On Movie Island, they recreated their favourite blockbuster scenes with life-size action figures of Hollywood stars.

At the Awwwwwww Petting Zoo, robot goats and pigs danced and performed crazy circus stunts.

Every ride was operated by Snaztacular Ultrafun toys, a happy workforce of dolls and teddies and dogs and dinosaurs who made the children giggle and squirm with joy as if it were Christmas morning.

There were toys everywhere: not just selling tickets and operating rides but serving sizzling burgers made of unusual meat like ostrich and kangaroo, from brightly coloured vans (one source of the weird smells). Toys were also using mops and buckets to clean up the little patches of sick left by children who had found all the roller coasters, rides, toys and fast food a little too exciting (the other source of the smells).

Chloe goggled at the wondrous sights. It was like a thousand birthdays happening at once.

‘Safer if we send these other guys home,’ said Arabella to Dan and Flax. ‘They’ve done their part getting us in here. Without Doctor Potty’s VIP access, there’s nothing more they can do.’

The rabbit and the teddy bear nodded. In the distance, they could make out the looming form of the Bubblegum Tower. Flax pointed at a clock fixed to the wall of the ticket booth. ‘We spent ages queuing to get in and now it’s nearly ten thirty. We don’t have much time.’

Chloe pouted and hugged Arabella. ‘But we’ve only just got here! And I want to play with you and go on all the rides and –’

‘Ah, you’ll see me again,’ said Arabella cheerfully. ‘When all this is over we’ll spend an afternoon throwing stones at windows. Better than any theme park! Whaddya say?’

‘Promise?’

‘You betcha.’

They did their secret handshake, both giggling again at the mimed karate chop.

Gemma rolled her eyes. Arabella patted her on the arm in an awkward attempt at friendliness. ‘No hard feelings, doll-face. Look after this cheeky monkey, won’t you?’

‘Don’t you worry, rag doll,’ said Gemma coolly, tossing her long black hair. ‘Chloe and I always have fun.’