Chapter 5
Jane waited with her back to the front door until the crunch of Matthew’s carriage wheels faded and only then, released her held breath. Opening her eyes, she took a step forward and gripped a side table, her heart thundering. It had been foolish to storm from the drawing room and chase after him. How on earth would he interpret her actions now that she’d demonstrated such desperation?
Closing her eyes, she pressed her thumb and forefinger into her brow.
If he hadn’t guessed her feelings ran deeper than friendship before, he certainly would now.
“Miss Jane? Is everything all right?”
Jane snapped her eyes open and straightened as Jeannie hurried toward her, concern etched on her face. Jane forced a smile, raising her hand in an effort to placate Jeannie’s worry. “I am quite all right. A little weakened from Miss Wrexford’s tirade, maybe.” She took Jeannie’s elbow and steered her toward the kitchen. “Did you manage to find some tea?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then that is all I need to settle me. Come.”
The kitchen wasn’t much brighter than the drawing room. Jane sighed as she looked about her. “First, we’ll get to know Bath a little better, then we’ll make some much-needed changes about the house.” She moved to the window. “Even some pretty fabric to hang at these windows would brighten things up a little. Don’t you think?”
Jeannie wrapped a tea cloth around the handle of the kettle and lifted it from its place above the fire. “I do. I could even make some cushions for the kitchen chairs, and a good scrub of wax on that table will bring it back to its proper glory.”
“It’s all about a woman’s touch. This place has my father written all over it. As much as I might have loved him, the house is mine now, and I wish to make it feel that way.”
They sat at the small kitchen table until dusk fell and the room was lit by flickering lamps and candles, the fire slowly dying down. Jane looked at Jeannie’s heavy eyelids and slowly slumping shoulders. “Why don’t you go to bed? There are three bedrooms, with the biggest at the front. I’ll take that one, but you can choose which of the other rooms you prefer.”
“Are you sure, miss?”
Jane lifted her eyebrows and feigned annoyance. “It’s Jane from now on, remember? And of course I am. Now go. Tomorrow we will venture into town and see if we cannot fill some of these pitifully bare cupboards.”
Jeannie splayed her hands on the table and heaved to her feet. “I will see to the drawing room fire and lamps on my way up.”
“Thank you. See you in the morning.”
As Jeannie’s footsteps receded along the hallway, Jane exhaled and leaned back in her chair, her gaze falling to the dying embers in the grate. Matthew had looked so angry when she spoke of her irritation with him staying at a hotel so close by. On retrospect, she couldn’t blame him.
It was her fault she had spent years loving a man despite him giving her little indication of anything more than mutual respect and fondness between them. Was it Matthew’s fault he hadn’t reciprocated her feelings? That he chose to marry a woman far better connected and more beautiful than her?
A resounding no yelled unceremoniously in her head.
At the sound of Jeannie climbing the stairs, Jane silently admonished herself, collected their teacups and saucers, and walked to the sink.
She would do all she could tomorrow to make her and Matthew’s final hours together, for what she predicted to be several weeks, as amicable as possible. He didn’t deserve her brashness or snappish behavior. He genuinely cared about her. Of that much Jane could be certain. She smiled softly as she ran water from the tap.
It made her heart stumble to see flashes of the old Matthew throughout the day, even if parts of him might have been forever extinguished by Elizabeth’s infidelity. Above all else, Jane wanted him to be happy, and those flashes had given her hope that one day he would be.
A low flame of positivity flickered in her abdomen, and she quickly washed, dried, and returned the crockery to the spartan cupboards. There would be plenty of time to fill and rearrange the house to make it fully hers, but for now, a night’s rest beckoned.
The next morning Jane woke from a somewhat fitful sleep. Dreams of Matthew, both angry and then loving, had harangued her throughout the night. When she wasn’t dreaming of Matthew, she was abruptly woken by the unfamiliar shouts and noises outside her window. It would take her weeks to grow accustomed to the constant stream of city sounds that penetrated her windows after years of living in the quiet countryside.
Lifting aside the covers, Jane pushed up onto her bottom and stretched her arms high above, breathing deep. Beyond the undraped window, the early morning mist had dispersed to leave a bright, azure blue sky, the sun’s low rays casting a white beam of light toward her.
This was the first new day of the rest of her life.
Excitement pulsed through her as she rose from the bed and reached for her dressing gown from the back of a wooden chair. She put it on and walked to the door, tying the sash at her waist before emerging from her room onto the landing. She paused, straining her ears toward Jeannie’s room.
The clang of crockery and the scuffing of shoes downstairs drifted toward her. Jane smiled. Clearly, it would take time for Jeannie to adjust from her morning ritual of rising at the crack of dawn.
Humming softly, Jane walked downstairs and along the chilly hallway into the kitchen. A fire burned brightly in the grate and the table was already set for breakfast. The aroma of toast and eggs filled the small kitchen.
“I assume you have been out already today, Jeannie?”
The young girl flinched before spinning around from the sink, her soapy hand on her chest. “Oh miss. You startled me.”
Jane smiled and lowered herself into one of the four chairs around the table. “This breakfast looks wonderful. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Jeannie dried her hands and put the towel on the counter before sliding into the seat opposite Jane. “I just nipped along the road and found a lady selling bread and eggs out of her front door. I suppose now we’re in the city, we’ll find everything we need in the blink of an eye.”
“I expect we will.” Jane picked up the teapot and filled their cups. “Which is why I plan to dress as soon as possible and get outside into that beautiful sunshine. I can’t imagine we’ll have many more days of the weather looking so inviting.”
“No, miss . . .” Jeannie flushed. “Jane.”
“I had a thought during the night. Would you like to join Matthew and me for tea at the Pump Room this afternoon?”
Jeannie’s eyes widened. “Me? Oh no. I haven’t anything nice enough to wear. I would be ashamed, truly. You go with Squire Cleaves. I will be quite all right puttering around here. I could make a start with some cleaning, if you like.”
“The last thing I want is for you to go on with your usual duties.” Jane frowned. “You’ve already seen to my breakfast as you normally would.”
“I don’t mind. You said this whole adventure is going to take some time to get used to.”
Jane sighed. “Fine. You do as you please today, but during the week, we are going shopping. I want to buy you some new dresses, maybe even some nice new boots too. How would that be?”
Jeannie grinned. “That would be just lovely. Thank you.”
“I’ll look forward to it.” Jane bit into her toast. “You’ll feel like my companion rather than my maid in no time, just you wait and see.”
They drank their tea in silence before Jane looked up to find Jeannie watching her with clear concern in her eyes.
Jane lowered her cup to its saucer. “What’s the matter?”
“I hope I’m not talking out of turn . . .”
“Say whatever it is that’s worrying you. I want you to be happy here.”
Jeannie exhaled and her words came in a rush. “I was worried about you after your little stumble when the squire left yesterday.”
Jane’s cheeks warmed and she took another sip of her tea. “Well, there is no need for you to fret over that a moment longer. I am quite well now.” She cleared her throat. “Aren’t you going to have some toast?”
Jeannie shook her head. “I ate a while ago. I’ve been up since six.”
“I did wonder what time you came downstairs. You’ll soon get used to rising later. I’ll make sure of it. Why don’t you take your tea to your room and get ready? Once I’ve finished my breakfast, I’ll clear everything away. The sooner we get outside, the better.”
“Thank you.” Jeannie stood. “Then I’ll come and help you get dressed.”
“You’ll do no such thing. We start as we mean to go on, which means I will dress myself as I often did at Marksville. You are my companion now, my friend, and until either of us marries, long may we stay that way.”
Jeannie sniggered. “Imagine me married.” Her eyes lit with happiness. “How would you think a soldier would suit me? Or maybe an inventor with ideas that will change the country?”
Jane laughed. “Either would be lucky to have you. Now, go on, off you go.”
Still smiling, Jane hurriedly finished her breakfast and tidied the kitchen before returning to her bedroom. She dressed as quickly as a lone woman could, without her maid’s dexterity to aid her, before finishing her chosen attire with a straw hat, bound with a green silk ribbon. Happy with her reflection, she took her drawstring purse from the dresser and made her way downstairs.
Jeannie was waiting by the door, a shopping basket over her arm.
Jane held her arms out either side of her. “See? Perfectly able.”
Jeannie laughed. “Indeed you are.”
Linking her arm through Jeannie’s, Jane led the way out the door and closed it behind them. Plans to go to the market had fully taken hold, and now the excitement of the sounds and sights she would experience hastened Jane’s steps as she and Jeannie walked down the steeply sloping streets into the hubbub of the town’s center.
What better way to learn the true ways of the city than to spend time with the people who lived here permanently, rather than mere visitors for the Season’s attractions?
She and Jeannie nodded good morning to the people they passed, and when they reached the boutique shops on Milson Street, Jane purposefully drew her gaze away from the tempting textiles and fancy ornaments for sale. The opportunity to redecorate the house had to come second to her and Jeannie being fed.
They bought some apples and pears, a fresh loaf of bread and a pot of homemade jam, some tea leaves, eggs, and flour. As Jane perused an array of cut-off cloth for new cushion covers, there was a delicate tap on her shoulder. She turned and delight rushed through her. “Goodness, Laura! It’s so lovely to see you.”
Laura grinned. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“I’m shopping. You remember Jeannie, don’t you?”
“Of course. How are you, my lovely?”
Jeannie smiled. “I’m good. How are you?”
Laura dropped her basket at her feet. “All the better for seeing the two of you. Come here and give me a cuddle.”
Jane dropped her basket and embraced one of Monica’s dearest friends. “It’s so lovely to see you.”
At the tuts and huffs and shoving shoulders around them, Laura picked up her basket and Jane’s and tossed a scowl at a buxom woman beside them. “Here. Let’s move away from this lot before we get shoved to the ground.”
Laughing at Laura’s no-nonsense ways of dealing with everything and everyone, Jane and Jeannie followed her away from the crowd to a quieter spot at the side of the busy square.
“So . . .” Laura placed their baskets on the short wall beside them. “What on earth are you doing here? I wouldn’t expect to see you here this time of year. Is Monica with you?”
“No. It’s just me and Jeannie.” Jane grinned, hearing every ounce of pride in her words.
Laura raised her eyebrows. “Just the two of you? Are you mad?”
“What do you mean? We’re as entitled as the next person to live here as we see fit, are we not?”
“I’m not talking about Jeannie so much as you.” She sent an apologetic smile toward Jeannie. “I don’t mean that unkindly, you understand. It’s just that you are a bit more aware of the ways of the world than our Miss Jane here.”
Jane feigned indignation. “I’m standing right here, you know.”
“I know you are and as bold as brass with it too.” Laura frowned. “You don’t know these streets or what people are capable of. I’ve lived here most of my life. I’ve fought and paid for what I have from one week to the next. You can’t compare that to what you know.”
“And look at you now. You have made a wonderful life for yourself, and so did Monica when she was here. Oh Laura, please don’t look at me that way. If you doubt me, then how on earth will I ever convince anybody else I know what I’m doing?”
“And do you?”
“Of course. Jeannie and I will look after one another, won’t we?”
Jeannie nodded. “Of course we will. In Jane’s defense, she might even know Bath better than me, considering I spent the majority of my time in the village.”
Laura lifted an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to make me worry less for the pair of you?”
Jane cursed the nerves in her stomach as her shaky confidence wavered once more. “I’ve left Marksville. I want to try my hand at an independent life. Surely you, of all people, won’t judge me on that?”
“Left Marksville? But why?”
“It was time.” Jane stared past Laura’s shoulder, avoiding her astute and canny gaze. “There’s nothing for me in Biddestone anymore.”
“How can you say that? I thought you loved the village and Marksville. It was what you lived for.”
Heat pinched Jane’s cheeks as she met Laura’s gaze. “What I lived for was a dream of falling in love and having a family. The village isn’t where I want to be. Not anymore. There is so much opportunity for more in the city.”
Laura frowned. “A place has nothing to do with falling in love. Do you think you’re more likely to fall in love and grow a family here? If it wasn’t for Adam’s work at the theater, I would much rather raise our babes in the fresh air than in the soot and silt of Bath.”
Jane stared as the truth of Laura’s words brought the unexpected sting of tears. Biddestone was beautiful. It was colorful and safe, warm and welcoming, so how could she ever admit to anyone part of her reasoning for leaving lay in Matthew? Wasn’t she running from him? Running from a man who was now here, in her space once more?
She swallowed. “Well, whether or not that’s true, I’m here and intend to make the most of it.”
“By doing what?” Laura looked around at the increasingly crowded and noisy market. “Shopping and what have you?”
“Of course not.” Jane lifted her basket from the wall. “I intend to find some way to work.”
“Work?”
“Yes, work.”
“Doing what?”
Jane lifted her chin. “Doing what I’ve been trained to do all my life. I am going to find a way to help others. By others, I don’t mean people like Mama and Monica, not even the villagers in Biddestone. I feel deep in my heart a calling to help children.”
“Children? Like waifs and strays? The hungry mites down by the river?” Concern clouded Laura’s pretty violet eyes. “The city isn’t a playground, Jane. You’ll achieve nothing by ending up dead. Where are you staying?”
Laura’s words drew over the surface of Jane’s skin like a sharp blade, raising the hairs at her nape. “What do you mean, dead? I have taken Papa’s house in the Circus, a perfectly respectable address and a safe one. There is no need for histrionics.”
“I’ve lost one friend. I will not stand by and risk losing another.”
The passion in Laura’s words and the sudden gleam of tears in her eyes quashed Jane’s defensiveness. “I will be perfectly fine.” She took her friend’s hand as Matthew came into her mind. “You need not worry. Squire Cleaves is in town and I’m meeting him this afternoon with another friend who will be introducing me to more people. Before long, I will have lots of acquaintances and will have no need to be alone for any amount of time.”
“Matthew Cleaves is here too?” Laura swiped her fingers under her eyes and studied Jane intently. “Well, as much as that pleases me, it will please me more if you are under mine and Adam’s protection too. You are a middle class woman, living in the center of Bath. You have much more to fear than the slander of your reputation.”
“Matthew implied the exact same thing yesterday evening. I’m glad to be here, Laura. I won’t be swayed in my decision.”
“Fine.” She picked up her basket and took Jane’s elbow. “Then at least come back to the house and visit awhile with Adam and me. He’ll be over the moon to see you both.”
Jane gently eased her arm from Laura’s grasp. “How about we drop by to see you tomorrow? I want to get these groceries unpacked and then change before my tea this afternoon.” She smiled. “Please, Laura, don’t worry. I am sure to have a lovely afternoon and be able to tell you and Adam all about it tomorrow.”
Laura briefly closed her eyes and exhaled. “Fine. But I’ll expect you at the house around twelve. I’ll put a bit of lunch together. Adam is busy writing at the moment, so he’s home more than he’s not.”
Jane smiled. “That’s sounds perfect.”
With Laura at one side of her and Jeannie the other, they left the market and walked along the flagstone streets until she and Jeannie kissed Laura good-bye under the shadow of the abbey. When she was a distance away from Laura, Jane turned. Her friend had stopped, too, and was intently watching her. Laura raised her hand and Jane forced a wide smile . . . but it did little to quiet the concerns circling in her mind as she and Jeannie walked home toward the Circus.