Dear Jordan: How do I start a conversation with someone who has a disability? I don’t want to seem rude!
A: I really think it’s important to say hello. Do not ask the person what is “wrong” with them. Just introduce yourself. Let that person know you were interested in knowing them and wanted to say hi. You will quickly find out if this person is interested in talking or not. Most of the time, if I meet someone who is curious and respectful, I’ll tell them about my little arm.
Dear Jordan: If someone looks different, it’s really hard not to stare. Should I look away?
A: I really, really don’t like staring. But I also really don’t like people who avoid me because they seem scared about my difference. Instead of looking away, look that person in the eye and say hello. Then it’s okay to keep moving. It’s not cool to stop and watch that person. Treat them like a regular person because they are a regular person. Accept that that person looks different and move on. Not everyone looks like you. That’s the real world.
Dear Jordan: What can I do to help people with disabilities if I don’t have one?
A: Don’t feel sorry for people with disabilities. If you hear someone making fun of a person or feeling sad about a person’s way of life because she is disabled, speak up. Let them know a disability is not sad. It might be hard. That person might need a lot of help to live. But all people deserve to be treated with kindness. All people deserve to be treated like you would like to be treated: with respect. People do not “suffer from” a disability. They live with a disability. A person who uses a wheelchair is not “wheelchair-bound.” A wheelchair is freedom. They are a wheelchair user. Shift how you think about disability, and let your friends and family know when you hear conversations that go against your new knowledge.
Dear Jordan: What are other ways I can support the disability community?
A: If you are making decisions, don’t forget to include people with disabilities. That might be hard if you don’t know someone with a disability. Find the groups in your town that support disability. Ask those organizations if there are health support groups or clubs where people with disabilities hang out and work together. Search Twitter and see if there are people with disabilities in your area sharing input online. Social media helps connect people with disabilities who might have a hard time leaving the house. It also helps people with similar differences find one another so they can learn and share together.