Space Jokes
Astronauts
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Where would an astronaut park his space ship?
A parking meteor!
In what did the astronaut serve drinks?
Sunglasses!
What did the astronaut cook for lunch?
An unidentified frying object!
Why don’t astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they’ve just had a big launch!
What does an astronaut do when he gets angry?
He blasts off!
What do you call a loony spaceman?
An astronut.
What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
The space bar!
How do spacemen pass the time on long trips?
They play astro-noughts and crosses!
What do astronauts put on their toast?
Space Jam!
Aliens
What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
Why don’t aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
What did the alien say when he was out of room?
I’m all spaced out!
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien!
What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter!
What do you call an overweight ET?
An extra cholesterol!
What did the alien say to the gas pump?
Don’t you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I’m talking to you!
What kind of fur do you get from an Alien?
As fur away as possible!
Where do aliens drink beer?
At the Mars Bar!
What do aliens on the metric system say?
Take me to your liter!
Stupid Jokes
What’s a light-year?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories!
What did the star say to the black hole?
You suck!
How does a robot shave?
With a laser blade!
Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet?
To boldly go where no man has been before!
What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere!
Why is an astronaut like a American Football player?
They both want touchdown!
What do you call an alien starship that drips water?
A crying saucer!
Do robots have brothers?
No, just transistors!
Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head one afternoon?
So he could see the stars during the day as well!
The Solar System
Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
When it’s full!
How do you know that the sun is clean?
It always shines!
How does the solar system hold up its trousers?
With an asteroid belt!
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
How do we know Saturn was married more than once?
Because he has a lot of rings!
What kind of music do planets sing?
Neptunes!
What did Mars say to Saturn?
Give me a ring sometime!
Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full!
Why are the Earth and the Moon good friends?
Because they’ve been going around together for years!
Star Wars - Part 1
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got for Christmas?
He felt his presents!
What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
Obi-Juan Kenobi!
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?
So it doesn’t hang so low!
Why did Darth Vader cross the road?
To get to the dark side!
What do you get if you mix a fruit with a bounty hunter?
Mango Fett!
What do you call a robot who always takes the longest route?
R2-detour!
Why do doctors make the best Jedi?
Because a Jedi must have patience!
How did Wicket cross the road?
Ewoked!
What do you call a transparent robot?
See-through P O!
How is duck tape like the Force?
It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together!
Animals in Space
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To visit the milky way.
How did it get there?
It flew through udder space!
What are the slowest creatures in the galaxy?
Snail-iens!
What does a Klingon frog use for camouflage?
A croaking device!
Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon!
What kind of saddle do you put on a horse in space?
A saddle-lite!
Which creepy-crawly can never go into space?
An earthworm!
What do you call a chicken from outer space?
An egg-straterrestrial!
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
He was looking for Pluto!
How did the lamb go into outer space?
On a rocket sheep!
Star Wars - Part 2
When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?
In the Sith Grade!
How many Sith Lords does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they prefer it on the dark side!
What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
The outside!
Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
Darth Waiter!
What do Jedi use to view PDF files?
Adobe Wan Kenobi
Why was Yoda good at gardening?
Because he had green fingers!
Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money?
Because he’s always a little short.
What’s the difference between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
One’s an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial!
What is R2-D2 short for?
Because he has small legs!
What do Gungans put Jam in?
Jar Jars!
General Jokes
What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
How did the rocket lose its job?
It was fired!
What happens to astronauts who misbehave?
They’re grounded!
Which are the most dangerous things in space?
Shooting stars!
What did the boy rocket say to the girl rocket?
Let’s go out to launch!
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
How does one astronaut tell another that he is sorry?
He Apollo-gises.
Why don’t astronauts relate well to other people?
They are not always down-to-earth!
What should an astronaut do when he gets dirty?
Take a meteor shower!
What do you call a magician in space?
A flying sorcerer!
The Worst Jokes
Why do aliens make crop circles?
Because they are corny.
How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb?
All of them!
Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
The one with the biggest head
What is the centre of gravity?
The letter v!
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
21 - ET left in a UFO
Which is more useful, the Sun or the Moon?
The Moon because the Sun only shines during the day when it’s light anyway
Where do dumb aliens go?
Area 52
What do astronauts wear to keep warm?
Apollo-neck sweaters!
How do astronauts eat their ice cream?
In floats
Why is the moon bald?
It has no ‘air.
The Best Jokes
How do we know life down under came from outer space?
Because of the Mars-upials and the Austr-aliens!
What’s round, purple and orbits the sun?
The Planet of the Grapes!
What did Spock find in Kirk’s toilet?
The Captain’s Log!
Why didn’t the dog star laugh at this joke?
It was too Sirius.
How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
How many ears did captain Kirk have?
Three - a left ear, a right ear and a final front-ear!
On what kind of plates do they serve food in space?
Flying saucers!
How do you get a baby astronaut to go to sleep?
Rocket!
How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
Where does Dr Who buy his cooked meat?
At a dalek-atessen!