What Do You Call Jokes
General Jokes - Part 1
What do you call a woman standing in a high wind?
Gail
What do you call a man who can’t stand?
Neil
What do you call a man who always lies on the floor?
Matt
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
a fsh
What do you call a man correcting school homework?
Mark
What do you call a man drilling holes in pieces of wood?
Boring
What do you call a man at the side of a house?
Ali
What do you call a Hippy’s wife?
Mississippi
What do you call a man buried in a bog?
Pete
What do you call a woman on a Scottish Hillside?
Heather
Animals - Part 1
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
What do you call a man who has scratches from his cat all over his face?
Claude
What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head?
Shelley
What do you call a country gentleman with a rabbit on his head?
Warren
What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
What do you call a cow that’s just had a baby?
Decalfinated
What do you call an exploding ape?
A baboom
What do you call a snake who is employed by the government?
A civil serpent
What do you call a man who sits under a cow all day?
Pat
What do you call a camel without a hump?
Humphrey
Things on a Man’s Head
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Doug
What do you call a man without a spade on his head?
Douglas
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack
What do you call a man with a toilet on his head?
Lou
What do you call a man with a map on his head?
Miles
What do you call a man with a car number plate on his head?
Reg
What do you call a man with a stamp on his head?
Frank
What do you call a man with a boat on his head?
Bob
What do you call a man with a legal document on his head?
Will
What do you call an American with a rabbit on his head?
Hutch
General Jokes - Part 2
What do you call a woman who plans to take you to court?
Sue
What do you call a man who climbs through your letterbox?
Bill
What do you call a man who climbs through a student’s letterbox?
Grant
What do you call a man doing exercises?
Jim
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop
What do you call a man holding a spear?
Lance
What do you call a man holding loads of spears?
Lancelot
What do you call a man with a wig on his head?
Aaron
What do you call a mushroom who is always smiling?
A fungi
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
Animals - Part 2
What do you call a woman with a cat on her head?
Kitty
What do you call a blind moose?
No idea
What do you call a blind moose with no legs?
Still no idea
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a crazy blackbird?
A raven lunatic
What do you call bears without ears?
B
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up every morning?
An alarm cluck
What do you call a vet with a bad throat?
A hoarse doctor
What do you call a rabbit who raps?
a hip hopper
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud
Things on a Woman’s Head
What do you call a woman with slate on her head?
Ruth
What do you call a woman with two toilets on her head?
Lulu
What do you call a woman with a sprig on Holly on her head?
Carol
What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head?
Anita
What do you call a woman with a tennis racket on her head?
Annette
What do you call a woman with a pint of ale on her head?
Beatrix
What do you call a woman with a pint of ale on her head and a handful of clay?
Beatrix Potter
What do you call a woman with a pack of cards on her head?
Trixie
What do you call a woman with a twig on her head?
Hazel
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily
What are You Wearing?
What do you call a man in a suit made from candy wrappers?
Russell
What do you call a man in a kilt?
Scott
What do you call a man with a coat on his head?
Mac
What do you call a man with two coats on his head?
Max
What do you call a man with two coats on his head in a cemetery?
Max Bygraves
What do you call a man with a large coat on his head?
Big Mac
What do you call a woman with one trouser-leg missing?
Jean
What do you call a man wearing a very tight suit?
Justin
What do you call a man wearing a wooden hat?
Edward
What do you call a man wearing three wooden hats?
Edward Woodward
The Worst Jokes
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball together?
Juan ‘n’ Juan
What do you call a man who is short-sighted?
Piers
What do you call a woman who is levitating?
Rose
What do you call a man in a cathedral window?
Archie
What do you call a man on a roof?
Tyler
What do you call a woman who prays before eating?
Grace
What do you call a woman with her head in a book?
Paige
What do you call a woman with her head in the clouds?
Skye
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A slipper
What do you call someone who is scared of Santa?
A Claus-trophobic
General Jokes - Part 3
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a man who isn’t religious?
Godfrey
What do you call a man packed tightly into a hole?
Phil
What do you call a woman sitting on a loaf of bread?
Marge
What do you call a woman with one leg either side of a river?
Bridget
What do you call a man driving a truck?
Laurie
What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humour?
A laughing stock
The Best Jokes
What do you call two men in the window?
Kurt ‘n’ Rod
What do you call a woman with only one leg?
Eileen
What do you call a woman with a sunlamp on her head?
Tanya
What do you call a woman with a laptop on her head?
Adele
What do you call a Frenchman wearing beach shoes?
Phillipe Phillope
What do you call a grammatically incorrect lion?
An lion
What do you call a man with a purple mark on his head?
Bruce
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller
What do you call a Mexican whose Ford was stolen?
Carlos