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I enter the cell and head to Matthew who’s lying on the bed with his hands crossed behind the head. I have to swallow my desire when I look at his muscles underneath the uniform.
«Are you resting? I need some help to fix the office. Mary was looking for a paper and made a mess on the desk. It seems that a tornado has gone over it.»
He doesn’t move, as if he didn’t hear me. He continues to stay in the same position gazing into space.
«Khyla, leave him alone once and for all. You can ask to me. I’m good as he is, maybe even better» says Gary winking at me.
Got under his skin, Matthew slowly turn his head toward his comrade and look at him with one of those cold gaze that have so much effect on me.
«I’ll do it. By now I know where to put my hands. »
Why this phrase is so impressive to me? Maybe because I know that he isn’t talking about the paper on the desk.
He gets out of the cell and heads self-confident to the office. As soon as we enter, I lock the door and slap on his face the fake documents.
«That’s it! Was this the reason why you gave me the book? I thought it was a pledge of love...»
«Good, I knew you were a smart girl. Let’s have a look» he says pinching the documents from my hands and gliding over the argument I was interested in. «Actually Bart is really professional. »
I feel the anger rising inside me. How can he take my help for granted? How could I get to this point? I can’t help but express my dissatisfaction.
«Listen, Matthew. I know that it could sound strange to you, but my life doesn’t necessary turns around yours. »
He tries to hold my hand, but I huffy move it back. So he tries to bewitch me with his soft voice.
«I know you’re angry with me, but just try to understand. I was afraid that, knowing before my intention, you wouldn’t have accepted to help me. »
«Now it’s you showing me your perspicacity. In fact you got the point. I went to Compton to try to figure out what you had in mind, but I don’t like the things Bart told me. I went on too far. Now I’m going to give up.
He takes me by the shoulders and shakes me.
«You can’t leave me now. I need you.»
Then he kisses me forcely, leaving me totally breathless. At first I go along with him, under the pression of his lips against mine, then I decid to react. I push him away and say: «You don’t need me; you just need someone to get you out of here. You already told me. “I don’t belong to you” you said. Now tell me: why should I help you? »
«Because you are the only one I trust. »
«Stop with these bullshit. I’m going to risk too much, helping you...»
«I thought about everything. You’ll get me out of my handcuffs and I’ll point this at the driver, when the time will come.»
He takes a gun out of his pocket.
«A gun? Where does it come from? » I ask frightened.
«Stay calm. It isn’t real; it’s just a good reproduction. A comrade lent it to me. Thanks to this, I’ll force him to stop the armored van. And I’ll take you away as a hostage. As soon as I’ll be safe, you can go away. No one will have anything to complain about you. They’ll think that you’re the poor victim of a madman. »
It’s a great plan, yet I don’t think is a good idea. I tell him, hoping he understands and leave me in peace.
«Listen; do you want me to tell you the truth? I don’t want to be the accomplice of a criminal. »
«You wouldn’t. I’m not a criminal. »
«Then why are you here? » I ask while the doubt is imposing on me again. As the first time I saw him, I think that Matthew is completely different from the rest of the detainees in here. Yet I can’t forget why he’s in prison.
He pauses, clenching his fists. He’s so beautiful with the muscles in tension and the fiery look, but this isn’t the right time to be enchanted by his appearance.
«Stop making me a fool. Everybody knows that you fucked your sister! » I exclaim in despair and disgusted. I finally got the courage to admit the disgust that was buzzing in my head.
«Tracy is not my sister. She’s my stepsister» he shouts at me.
To this revelation I am speechless for a while.
«If it’s not because of the incest, why are you here? »
«Because she was fifteen and I was twenty one, that’s why. If we weren’t in California, where the age of consent is set at eighteen, I would be happy and free. Instead I’ve been punished because of an act of love. Do you think it’s right, that because of a stupid law, I have to stay rotting in here? I told you, Khyla. I’m dying inside. I need to get out, to see the daylight. I need my life back and you are the only hope.»
He’s saying this misty-eyed and I’m not able to reason anymore. God, I’ve always known that he wasn’t a criminal as the others. My sixth sense was right....I don’t want to think anymore about what he told me together with his confession. I pushed it in a corner of my brain because I don’t want to hear it. I just want to show him my love... So it happens. I embrace and kiss him rubbing on his panting chest, then, when I feel him pressing against me, I tell him to enter inside me. He undresses and enters in me silently, living me only his whispered moan. It isn’t easy to control ourselves, as if what we are feeling was something without any importance. But we have to enjoy in silence. To be discovered would mean to be revealed to the public mockery and neither of us could withstand the shaming rack that would result. Yet all this is no more enough. I don’t want to go on like this, I can’t. Every time a stay with him, a piece of my heart is taken away. I have to find a solution soon. Maybe I should help him in his mad plan. If he could evade, his gratitude could turn into something different...something deeper. I could eradicate from his mind the image of Tracy and become the only one.
Now that I have the certainty of his innocence, I feel less stupid indulging in my feelings for him. So, after being united in a strong intercourse, I whisper to his ear: «All right, I’ll help you, but first I want to know everything about your past life. There are so many things that aren’t clear to me...»
He turns and says: «I can understand, but I’ve already told you too much. I swear that as soon as we’re out of here, I’ll answer to all your questions. Untill then, you must trust me. »
We embrace silently for some moments, until his absence could be noticed by my colleagues. Then I accompany him to his cell. He, before I’m out of his sight, gives me a wonderful smile. So, with that gem in my heart, I go back to work. By now it’s too late to think it over. Even though I’ll be destroyed, Matthew is going to be free thanks to my help.
