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KHYLA
Naked under the covers, Matthew and I are intended to breathe each other after spending the all night making love. We are so much lost one in another that don’t realize how much time passed by. I should get up to resume the fire now nearly extinguished, but in this moment I don’t fear cold. I don’t want to lose a second of what we are living together. Enveloped by Matthew’s strong arms, I’m feeling as if nothing could hurt me. This happens because, when I’m near him, it is as if his only presence was enough to undo any need, any pain.
He doesn’t speak, but takes aside a haircut from my forehead and looks at me with a tenderness which I didn’t even think he could express. After a few seconds of intense communion looking in each other eyes, he kisses me lightly on the lips and then whispers: «You look so sweet and defenseless in this moment, Khyla.»
I give him an inquiring look, curious to understand the meaning of his statement.
«Yes, there are moments like this in which you look fragile and in need of care, instead you are as strong as steel.»
«I don’t think so» I respond. If I really was so strong as he says, I would never have allowed the love I feel for him, to win upon my reason.
«You are, I can say it for sure. I realized it since the first time I saw you, that you are thick-skinned. That’s why I chose you for my plan.»
«Just for this?» I ask disappointed. I brought a lump to my throat. In spite of all the events experienced together, I’m just a perfect accomplice, to him. I get the momentum to get out of bed, but he blocks me before I can slide out of the blankets.
«What are you doing? Are you escaping? Don’t go away, Khyla. Don’t use your self-confidence to leave me here alone. Use it to trust me, to give me a dream.»
«Don’t you think you’ve made enough use of me?» I respond agitated, trying to get rid of his grip.
«It was not my intention. I just wanted to explain that I chose you because I knew that you were the right person.»
Wow! It would be the perfect declaration, if he was referring to the feelings he has toward me. Instead he is only prizing my ability to deal with obstacles during our crazy escape.
He clings to me, kisses my face enthusiastically, meanwhile using his imploring tone of voice: «Please, stay a little bit longer here with me. Excuse me if I offended you.»
I should leave him alone to blame himself for hurting me, but I can’t. His sweet way of touching me and the caressing voice manage to seduce my anger very soon.
«Ok, I’ll stay some more in bed with you. Other than strong! I’m as flabby as a cooked pear. But it won’t be always like that. Next time when you’ll make me angry, you won’t find me so condescending. Do remember that if you pull too much the rope breaks.»
«You’re right. From now on I’ll try to stay on track» he answers with laughing eyes.
«Look, I know that you’re mocking at me. You’re just a bad boy. You’d deserve a punishment. This time, you save yourself just because of the wounded leg, otherwise I could find the way to revenge.»
He laughs and whispers to my ear: «You’re not frightening me, on the contrary. If you menace me this way again, I could decide to do something bad, just to receive your punishment.»
To these words I start laughing. This way I can conceal my true feelings. But it’s not ephemeral joy. Every time we share these sincere moments of mutual participation, I’m a step away from pure happiness.
