Sebastian lived in a cookie-cutter condo complex, very much like the one I lived in, with rows of unused front porches and empty patches of grass behind each unit. The labyrinth of interconnected streets allowed us to run three miles without actually straying more than a half mile from his front door. One steamy evening in late July, Sebastian and I raced back to his door in hopes of outrunning the leaden clouds in the western sky.
We didn’t make it.
We lurched into Sebastian’s place and stood dripping in the tiled foyer. “I didn’t know we were getting a hurricane today,” Sebastian wheezed. He released Mitzi from her leash. She gave a quick shake then plopped down in the center of the living room.
Barkis yanked the leash out of my hand and spun around in circles trying to catch the flapping leash handle. I couldn’t get a firm grip on his slippery dog flesh to unclasp his leash. “We don’t get many hurricanes in July and they usually come from the east anyway.” I grabbed the leash to get Barkis to stop spinning. It was making me dizzy.
“Hyperbole, sweetie. Hyperbole.” Sebastian hopped over to the couch on his running leg and threw himself down. “Water, must have water.”
Barkis ran into the kitchen, back into the living room, and rolled over at my feet for a belly rub. I couldn’t resist his slobbery smile. I slipped out of my sodden shoes and squatted down beside him to rub his belly.
Sebastian hauled himself up off the couch and hobbled into the kitchen. He ran far better than he walked on his running leg. “I can see whom you really love,” he teased. “I’m dying of thirst over here while the dog gets a belly rub?” He returned a moment later with two tall glasses of iced tea.
I gratefully accepted my glass and joined Sebastian on the couch. Every available inch of Sebastian’s walls was covered with books. I couldn’t tell what color the walls were behind the cinder block and board shelving. “How long did it take you to build those book shelves?”
“Year and years.” Sebastian slung his arm loosely over my shoulder. “The first set of cinder blocks traveled with me from my place in graduate school. I add a shelf or two every year or so.”
“How do you keep them organized if you just keep tacking on shelves?”
He pulled me closer to him and I leaned my head against his shoulder as I continued to look at the books.
“How do you ever find anything? I’d have built the shelves all at once.” A post-run torpor made my muscles feel heavy and loose. I let my eyelids droop. “I want a library in my house.”
Sebastian settled into the couch and laid his head against the soft cushion. “You still thinking of moving closer to work?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Why don’t you buy one of the houses your buddy Tom is building? Those sounded cool. Then you could put bookshelves in every room. You could even get one of those antique card catalogs to keep track of everything,” Sebastian murmured.
I imagined what it would be like to have every wall lined with books. I could keep books in the bathroom in a steam proof case. My growing pile of cookbooks could live in a glass front cabinet to keep food and grease from getting on their pages. The living room could have floor to ceiling bookcases with a brass railing along the top for a sliding ladder. I was imagining a glass-topped coffee table that could display large format illustrations when I realized Sebastian was snoring. I snuggled into his shoulder and drifted off to the sound of his heart beating. When I’d imagined us sleeping together at some point in the future, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
***
Once the seed had been planted in my brain, I wanted to build my dream house as soon as possible. I woke up in the middle of the night with ideas. I wanted a skylight in the bathroom that let in fresh air, lots of white tile, and an oversized laundry room off the garage with a walk-in shower where I could easily bathe Barkis.
I made an appointment to talk to the illustrious Candace to get the process started, but when I arrived at Babcock Construction, Tom met me in the reception area. “Lara! I saw your name on the appointment book. Are you really serious about building?”
“Yes, it’s time for me to move out of my place. You’ve told me so much about your new Rivers Edge project, I thought I’d check it out.” I looked around the reception area. “I’m supposed to meet with Candace at 4:00?”
“I’ll handle this one myself,” Tom replied. Ever his mother’s son, he was not asking but telling me what would happen. “After all, you’re practically family now.” He put a long arm around my shoulder and led me down a wide corridor. “If you don’t mind, we can talk in Mom’s office. Candy’s on the phone in mine.”
He opened a set of double doors at the end of the hall that opened into a vast office. The room was a showcase of Jane’s accomplishments from the wall of awards to the collection of pictures of Tom through the years. The sleek blond desk and console were piled with files and tubes of blueprints. The room had a stale smell about it. When Tom and I sat down on the low cream leather sofa, I noticed two dead flies under the glass coffee table.
“These aren’t very practical,” he said when I showed him the list of things I wanted in my house.
“I’m not interested in practical. I’m not worried about resale value. I want to build a house for me.”
“Do you really want a library with floor to ceiling book shelves? A rolling ladder?”
“You need a ladder to get to the top shelves,” I replied. “Would it really be that expensive to have a fenced in backyard and a low maintenance lawn?”
“No, not really. A heated two car garage, very expensive.” Tom pulled out several stock home plans and showed me how they could be modified for my needs. By the end of the hour, we had come up with a plan for a two-bedroom bungalow that fit both my needs and his vision for the neighborhood.
As I gathered up my copies of the preliminary sketches, Tom put his hand on my arm. “You know, Lara, I’m really glad you came into Mom’s life. I’m sorry if I was a jerk to you. I resented that Mom was talking to you about her feelings instead of to me.”
“She doesn’t really say that much about her feelings to me.”
“Well, she talks about you all the time at home. I’m a little jealous.”
“That’s funny. She talks about you to me all the time—at least when she’s not needling me about my social life and giving me career advice.”
Tom digested this for a moment and chuckled to himself as he gathered up his notes. “So she treats you like the daughter she never had? Does she give you crap about your clothes?”
“All the time.”
“She’s so full of shit. She wasn’t always so sleek and sophisticated. I have pictures of her as a flower child to prove it.” He opened the door for me. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re her friend. I hope we can stay in touch, you know, after.”
“Me too, Tom. We could both use a friend these days.”
***
Jane’s house was less than a mile away from the Babcock Construction offices. I drove up and parked in front of the garage. A unfamiliar woman was struggling to lift a box from the back of the Ellery Home Healthcare van. I jumped out and asked, “What’s going on? Where’s Nancy?”
The nurse gave up her effort and turned to me. “Nancy needed a break so I came to check on your mother today. Is she expecting you?”
I didn’t correct her mistake. I pulled the box marked “Medical Supplies” from the van and carried it toward the house. “Why aren’t you inside watching her? Is she sleeping?”
“She’s up, although still in her pajamas. She won’t get dressed.” The nurse opened the door for me. “You can put that on the dining table.”
“Put something down first. I don’t want to scratch the table.”
The visiting nurse rolled her eyes and moved a placemat over to the end of the table. “I guess that’s a good idea. She bites our heads off if we as much as touch anything in this house. She’s one tough old bird.”
I took the woman by the arm and led her back to the heavily carved front door. “Have you done just about everything you needed to do today? Good, we wouldn’t want to keep you from your other sick and dying patients then.” I shoved the nurse out the door and locked it. I watched her pull her cell phone out and gesture wildly as she spoke to someone on the other end of the call. I had probably made things even more difficult between Jane and the visiting nurse service, but it felt good to kick the woman out.
I tossed my soft leather tote on the foyer table and walked through the house. Jane was on the brick patio wrapped in a light shawl. “Lara! What a wonderful surprise,” Jane said with a wide smile as I opened the French doors. “Come. Sit. Did that awful woman finally leave?”
“She’s gone,” I said with a guilty smile. “I may have been a bit rude to her just now.”
“Good. She was even worse than Nancy. She kept pestering me to get dressed and go for a walk.”
“She left a box in the dining room. What’s in it?”
“Isn’t it lovely out today? I don’t think I have ever seen the roses as beautiful as this year.” Pale yellow roses dotted the low brick walls around the patio.
“Very pretty. I’m surprised you have yellow roses. Everything else is red.” I brushed some dead leaves off the teak chaise lounge next to Jane and sat down.
“They were a mistake. I asked for Mister Lincolns. These are Julia Childs. That landscaper lost my account. If they can’t get my yard right, how could I trust them to do my client’s new plantings?”
“Are you warm enough? I could go find you a blanket.”
“Lara, it’s eighty degrees out. I’m not cold. We’ll go in shortly and you can make me some of that tea your friend sent over. It was sweet of her to think of me.”
“Mrs. Lee is a one woman eastern medicine advocacy board,” I said with a smile. “Her daughter-in-law assures me her concoctions won’t hurt you, and they usually taste pretty good.”
“I told Sanjay that I was drinking her tea. He said that if it made my chest feel looser or made it easier to sleep, he was all for it. He’s a good man.” A small smile tickled Jane’s lips. “Did I tell you he dropped by the other day?”
I took off my blazer and turned my face to the sun. “Your doctor made a house call? Were you having trouble breathing?”
“No more than usual. His daughter was playing tennis at the park down at the bottom of the hill, so he dropped by to see how I was doing.” Jane picked up my blazer and ran her fingers over the linen. “Poor guy. It’s hard on him. So many of his patients don’t make it. I think he came here to take another run at convincing me to do that new drug trial, but I told him—no more treatments.”
“But Jane.”
“No. No more. I’ve made my peace with it. I’m not afraid.” My heart twisted in my chest. “Sanjay tells me he can make me comfortable.”
I looked out at the view from the patio. Red day lilies had replaced the tulips Jane and Tom planted around the pond. “I met with Tom this afternoon about building a house in River’s Edge.”
“How were things at the office?”
I recalled the dead flies under the coffee table. “I think your office misses you.”
“They’ll be fine. Tom has it under control.” Jane adjusted the shawl around her shoulders. “Did he tell you that he and that Candace are thinking of getting married?
“Really? They haven’t been dating very long.”
“I think he’s worried about being alone. I don’t think he’ll end up going through with it.” Jane shifted her feet to the ground. “Did you bring a copy of the plans?”
“I’ve got some preliminary sketches in my bag. I love the way they’ve designed the subdivision. I’ve decided to take one of the large lots that back up to the woods. It should be very safe to walk or run on those paths, and I’m psyched about having solar cells on the roof to heat my hot water.”
“Tom has worked very hard on that project.” Jane no longer sounded jealous of his success. “The company’s in good hands.” Jane sighed deeply. She sounded tired.
“How about some of that tea?” I asked. “Can I heat up some soup for you?”
“You and Tom, you’re always trying to get me to eat something.” Jane pulled herself up from the chaise and laboriously walked into the house. I could see that even walking a few steps had become difficult for Jane. I took her elbow.
“Come on, let me show you those sketches.”