Cait didn’t need Black Cat to tell her that Iain was coming. She could feel it in the way her blood rushed through her. That and she’d been expecting him ever since Rory had told her that Iain was meeting with her grandfathers.
She was standing outside her cottage when he came galloping around the bend, his face its usual mask. He slid off his mount as soon as it came to a stop and marched toward her.
“Did you neglect to tell me something?” he asked so calmly that it was almost frightening.
“Nay.”
He raised his brows. “Nay?”
“Nay.”
“You don’t think it was important that I know you are the granddaughter of Graham and MacGregor?”
“Nay.”
He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, obviously struggling for composure. In any other circumstance, it might have been humorous, but she knew he was truly angry.
“The Grahams and the MacGregors are nothing to me.”
“Nothing?” he sputtered. “You are the only heir to both clans. You could be leader to two very important clans.”
“Nay. Let Rory rule the Grahams, and I could care less who rules the MacGregors. They weren’t there for me when I needed them, and I see no reason to lead them.”
“And you still think I didn’t need to know?”
She lifted her chin. “There was only one person who needed to know, and that was John. When he discovered that both my grandfathers disowned me, he wanted to back out of the marriage for my sake, but I wouldn’t let him. I chose being a Campbell over being a Graham or a MacGregor.”
Iain’s lips twitched. “I’m certain both grandfathers were furious.”
She grinned back. “Furious does no’ come close to what they felt.”
“John was a brave man to suffer the wrath of those two.” Iain shook his head. “I just came from a meeting with them and I’m not certain I left in one piece.”
“Rory told me. Was the outcome what ye hoped for?”
“MacGregor admitted to stealing my cattle and burning my land, and he agreed to stop. Graham made him repay me in winter feed. MacGregor wasn’t happy, but I feel it’s fair compensation for the field I lost.”
“I’m not at all surprised that he was the one stealing the cattle, but I’m surprised and disappointed that he burned yer land.”
“He said he didn’t mean for it to burn out of control. I believe him.”
“Ye’re more forgiving than I would have been.”
“When was the last time you saw him, Cait?”
“The night he told me I was no longer welcome in his home.”
“He’s still angry, but I think he has regrets.”
She raised a disbelieving brow. “Did he tell you that?”
“Not in so many words.”
She shrugged. “It’s too late.”
“Don’t be like them, Cait. Don’t wake up one day with regrets.”
She was aware that she was being as stubborn as her grandfathers, but they’d hurt her too much.
“I’ve not eaten all day,” he said. “I rode straight here from my meeting.”
She tilted her head and grinned. “Do ye think this is a pub, Iain Campbell?”
He grinned back. “I’m hoping for the good graces of the owner of this lovely cottage.”
“Well, I canno’ disappoint ye then, can I? Come in and I will feed that growling belly of yers.”
Black Cat glowered at Iain before bolting under the settee.
“Do you have…visitors?” Iain whispered.
“Nay. Not since the last batch.” She fixed him a plate of smoked haddock, fresh bread, and cheese and poured him a mug of ale, then sat across from him to watch him eat.
“How is that going?” he asked, waving his hand toward the far corner as he chewed.
“Sutherland seems overwhelmed and tired. He’d hoped that the flow would have lessened to a trickle by now, but there seems to be more than ever.”
“Damn English,” Iain said between bites.
“It’s strange to hear ye say that,” she said. “As someone everyone believes is an English sympathizer.”
He chewed and swallowed, and she was surprised to see that his plate was almost empty. “My beliefs are complicated and not as clear as most.”
She ate a piece of cheese from his plate, waiting for him to continue. He tilted his chair back and cradled his mug of ale between his hands.
“I think English rule would benefit Scotland, but I think England is going about it all wrong.”
“That thought alone could earn ye powerful enemies,” she said, thinking of her MacGregor grandfather.
“It already has.”
“How can ye even think English rule will benefit Scotland?”
“The English empire is far-reaching and very powerful. Imagine what that could do for Scotland. We’d have access to education that was previously closed to us. Finance, job opportunities, maybe even a better way of life. It could all be ours because we would have the backing of England.”
“But what about Scotland? Do we disappear and become another England?”
“That’s where compromise must come into play. I’d like to see Scotland take advantage of all that England has to offer without losing its identity. Right now England wants to dominate us because we dared to fight back. I’m hoping that in time things will settle down and tempers will cool on both sides, but the Scottish are a fierce, stubborn people.”
Cait laughed. “Ye only have to look at my two grandfathers to know that.”
Iain grinned. “Now imagine a whole country made of people like them. Or half a country. The Highlands are against the English far more than the Lowlands. The people of the Lowlands understand the advantages of allying with England. The Highlanders need to bend a bit.”
Cait could not imagine the Scottish Highlanders bending—especially to the English. “I think ye’re fighting a losing battle.”
“I know it would take an act of God for some of the chiefs to see my side, but I truly believe it’s the best way. English rule is inevitable. If we behave in a civil way, maybe England will agree to some concessions. Unfortunately, some of the chiefs refuse to act civilly.”
“Maybe because they don’t know how. All they know is fighting. Feuds are common, and as ye know, they can last for generations.”
“That wasn’t my feud,” he said. “That was MacGregor being stubborn and refusing to let the past stay in the past.”
“So this is really just a feud that’s taking place between two countries instead of two clans.”
“Yes!” He plopped back down on the front two legs of the chair and appeared pleased that she understood. “That’s exactly right. But the consequences are far more dire.”
She nabbed another piece of cheese and ate it. “How so?”
“I’ve heard some disturbing things.”
His grave expression put her on edge. “Such as?”
He shook his head. “I’m just afraid that if Scotland doesn’t come to her senses, then our whole way of life will change.”
Cait looked down at the empty plate and suppressed a shiver of foreboding. She thought of her conversation with Halloway about the clan system dissolving. Surely both men were being overly pessimistic. England and Scotland had been at odds for years. Battles broke out, things settled down until the next battle. It had been that way forever.
Iain leaned forward and kissed her. Startled, Cait drew away, and he settled back in his seat. “I’ve been wanting to do that since we sat down.”
“Have ye?” Her lips tingled.
“I’ve missed you, Cait. I don’t think I had the opportunity to tell you how much I enjoyed our afternoon together.”
She looked down at the cracks in the wooden table. She’d made love to three men in her life. It wasn’t like she was a young virgin who had no idea what to do. There was no reason to be embarrassed, yet she was.
“Cait?”
Iain was watching her with an intensity that made her squirm from a need that came upon her so suddenly that she was almost dizzy with it. She could practically read the memories in those dark eyes of his, and it was making her body heat up.
“Did you enjoy yourself the other day?”
“Oh, yes,” she breathed, causing him to laugh.
“You undo me, Cait Campbell.”
For once he wasn’t hiding his emotions. Naked desire was written all over his face.
“I’ve missed you,” he said. “And not just for that.”
“Iain…” Though she didn’t know what she was about to say, she wanted to stop his words. She’d had the same thoughts, but they frightened her. She didn’t want a relationship like that with him.
He leaned forward to put his hand over hers. Her fingers twitched but she didn’t pull away.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“That ye frighten me.”
“My intention was never to frighten you.”
“I’m not frightened that ye’ll do me bodily harm. Just that ye’ll do my heart harm.”
He contemplated her for a long moment. “Are you saying that your feelings for me are so strong that they frighten you? Are you afraid I’ll turn your life upside down and change everything that makes you comfortable?”
“Please, Iain. We can’t go there.”
“Why?”
“Because this is my home. This is where I’m comfortable.”
He contemplated her. He was always thinking, always planning, always one step ahead of everyone, and that put her on edge.
“What are ye thinking?” she asked warily.
“That I’m glad I make you uneasy.”
“That’s no’ a very nice thing to want to do to someone.”
“You’re hiding out here in your little cottage on the edge of nowhere.”
“We’ve been through this before. I am no’ hiding.”
“You’ve been hurt by everyone who ever loved you. Your mother died while giving birth to you. Your father couldn’t live without her, so he killed himself. Your grandfathers turned you away. Your husband and child died.”
She stood quickly, her heart hammering so hard that it was making her sick. “Enough!”
“No.”
“I want ye to leave now.”
“No.”
“What do ye mean, no?”
“You’re not forcing me out again, and you’re not hiding anymore.”
“Ye keep saying that. Just because I like it here does no’ mean I’m hiding. I have a steady stream of people needing my healing and shelter. Some weeks not a day goes by that I’m alone. So ye don’t know what ye speak of, Iain Campbell, and I’ll thank ye to keep yer gob shut.” She drew in a deep breath to calm her racing heart. She so badly wanted to run away, but she knew that was the panic beating at her insides.
“I will admit that you do a lot of good out here with your healing and your…nocturnal activities. You’re strategically placed for many clans. I’ve never had a problem sharing my healer with anyone.”
“Your healer?” Her mouth opened and closed like a damn fish. “Ye don’t own me. Ye don’t share me.”
“You’re a Campbell, are you not?”
“Nay. Aye.” Oh, he was infuriating. “But ye don’t own me.”
“Are you or are you not a Campbell?”
“I am. But that doesn’t mean anything.”
He leaned forward. “It means everything. Everything. You are a Campbell. You belong with the Campbells, and everyone accepts you as a Campbell.”
“I see what ye’re doing, and it’s no’ going to work.” He was telling her that she was accepted and there were people who would love her just because she was a member of the clan.
“What am I doing?”
“Ye don’t understand that some people just want to live their life alone. Ye stick yer nose in everything. Ye even stick yer nose in Scotland and England’s affairs. Like ye’re some…some…great king who has the answers for everyone. Well, ye’re not a great king. Ye’re just a busybody.”
She crossed her arms to punctuate her point, but his words had cut deep and she wondered if he was right. Did she hide out here? Of course not. She sometimes ventured closer to the big house. She spoke to the people she purchased meat and cheese from. She enjoyed talking to the merchants she dealt with, and she conversed at length with her patients. And what about Sutherland? She talked to Sutherland all the time.
Then she remembered Ina on the night of the fire and how difficult and awkward it had been to hold a conversation with the woman who once was her best friend. Was she such a recluse that she’d forgotten how to converse?
Certainly not.
She simply had nothing in common with Ina, who still had a husband and several children, while Cait had—
“I had an affair with Cormac,” she spat out.