Chapter Six

 

"This is amazing, John."

The familiar voice echoed tinnily over the intercom as John lay quietly on the bed of the MRI machine.

"Really?"

He didn't mean that to sound so casual, but he was having one helluva hard time focusing on this whole testing business this morning. He was tired, buzzed from a night of fabulous sex and would rather take a nap and dream of Valli than have his brain probed.

Of course, at this point he'd rather have a lot of things done to him other than have his brain probed, but these were good people with his best interests at heart, so he tried to infuse some interest into his tone. "What's happening, Doc?"

"All kinds of things. Neural activity. Spreading through places we haven't seen it before."

Yep, that was good. And Dr. Felix sounded like he was dancing around the control booth. "Okay. So why can't I remember anything yet?"

"Give it time."

The response was automatic and John could imagine the man peering intently into his monitor, looking at all the different places inside John's head. It was kind of spooky when he got right down to it, so he dismissed it and went back to what he could remember--Valli.

Her scent seemed to linger on his lips and her taste on his tongue. The brightness of her smile--the waggle of that glorious white ass--she was an incredibly amazing woman and their night together had been one astounding sensation after another.

Was sex always like that? John pondered the question. When he got his memories back, would she fade into perspective against his other lovers? How many other lovers were there? Was he promiscuous? He didn't feel like he was, but how did one feel about that stuff?

It was a conundrum he couldn't solve, so he simply lay there and relished the warmly erotic images of Valli.

"Okay. That'll do it."

The table moved gratingly out of the MRI machine and John stretched, then swung his legs over the side of it to the floor. "Gimme the scoop, Doc."

"It's fascinating, John." The man actually rubbed his hands in glee. "Your neural pathways are showing up at last. There's connections firing, synapses doing what they're supposed to do--I'm really hopeful that before too long we'll have a breakthrough." He beamed enthusiastically.

"That's cool." John thought about it. "So good things are happening inside my head. I'm happy you're happy. But I'd be happier with a memory or two."

Dr. Felix nodded. "I understand. But you must realize that there's not just one simple pathway from point A in your brain to point B. It's a myriad of pathways, millions of neurons, a complex and intricate web of connections between everything around Point A to everything around Point B. And a lot of it is connected via Point C." He moved his hands around, trying to demonstrate for John's benefit. "Everything I'm seeing indicates an improvement. You're far from back to normal brain activity yet, but it's coming. I can feel it."

John lifted an eyebrow. "It's my brain. Shouldn't I be the one feeling it?"

Laughing, Dr. Felix shook his head. "Patience, John. Patience."

"Right."

"Look, I've put these results into your file. I know Dr. Lin will want to know about it. Perhaps with her, you'll be able to progress--physically the prognosis is excellent today. She'll have something to work with now..."

John couldn't bring himself to rain on Dr. Felix's parade, so he simply nodded. "Okay. I'm seeing her soon."

"Good. Good. Think positive thoughts."

"Yes. Of course."

John walked away doing his best to think positive thoughts. The only ones that he could really call positive were the ones concerning last night. He was very pleased that there was now a good chance he'd get his memory back.

But it might well be a double-edged sword.

For the first time, he was slightly afraid of what might be lurking in the hidden recesses of his brain. And if those secrets might impact what he had found with Valli. It was--disquieting, to say the least.

Right now, at this moment, she was the light in his life and the song in his heart. Would his past dim that light and silence that song?

John didn't know. And he didn't like not knowing even more today than ever. Before last night, he had nothing to lose. Now he did.

And he wasn't sure if he could stand losing her.

 

----

 

 

Valli couldn't help wondering what John was doing as she moved through the day, fussing over her music. Now that the initial composition phase had passed, along with its intense involvement--leaving the polishing phase in its place--Valli's mind had more time to wander to thoughts of him. She felt sure he was probably thinking of her too, at least now and again.

She had no idea what sort of therapies he was receiving, or how much of his focus they demanded. If it was just a matter of him lying there in an MRI, then he must have had a few moments to think about her, mustn't he?

What would he be thinking?

Valli shook the mood away. She had no clue what it was like to not remember anything. She couldn't envision how it must be to have sex with that kind of a void in one's head. Even being a virgin and having sex for the first time--well, one had all that accumulated information, right or wrong, to use as a reference.

John sure as hell hadn't needed a reference manual when it came to making love to Valli.

Slumping back in the couch and leaving the papers where they were, Valli closed her eyes and indulged in a few moments of pure sybaritic pleasure. She'd been touched in a way that was new to her.

She'd been caressed, stroked, worshipped with hands and lips and tongue. She'd had an experience that a lot of women probably only dream about. She'd been the entire focus of one man's passionate attentions--no distractions, no competition, nothing but the two of them.

It had been a moment out of time for Valli, a unique and incredible night that had taught her much about herself and her body's capability for sensuality and sexuality. And all at the hands of a man who didn't know who he was.

Well, she had a pretty good idea. He was caring--he wouldn't have touched her the way he did otherwise. Like she was precious, maybe. Special. He was all male, through and through, loving her mouth on him, responding with enthusiasm and fire to everything she did to him. He didn't try and control her or dominate her. He'd made her feel an equal, a partner in their passion, as vital to his needs as he was to hers.

Tears stung behind her closed eyelids. She had to be careful, she warned herself. It would be all too easy to fall seriously for this man.

And that was something she was afraid to let happen.

If--when--he got his memories back, well who knew what would be revealed? A girlfriend? Or worse, a wife? A commitment someplace a gazillion miles away? And then what? Bittersweet memories of a stolen night with that singer he'd met?

She shook her head at herself. No, better to keep it simple between them. There was passion and there was desire. For now, that would have to be enough.

Valli let her mind drift, focusing on nothing at all for a while, relaxing into the sofa cushions...

"Valli? Hey, Valli..."

A hand was gently shaking her shoulder and she woke to a darkening room. "Good grief."

Carol was standing next to her. "You looked like you were having a good nap. I almost hated to wake you, but you need to eat something, honey." She gestured to the tray on the table. "Got to keep getting your strength up, you know."

Valli ran a hand through her hair. "Weird. I don't usually sleep during the day. I guess I was tired after--" She bit back the rest of that statement in a hurry.

Carol tried not to smile. "Yes. Well. That's good, I guess."

Valli risked a glance at her, then laughed. "Okay. You know about last night. And thanks for the wine. It was great." She blinked. "I think."

"It obviously got the job done." Carol chuckled. "Anyway, come eat. I reckon you'll be getting plenty of rest tonight."

"Oh?" Valli stood and wandered to the table, sniffing the food appreciatively.

"Yeah. Great excitement with John."

"What's going on?" Valli's head snapped up.

"Some kind of a breakthrough, I guess. Dr. Felix is going around happier than a clam and John's been in with Dr. Lin all afternoon. They just ordered dinner, so it looks like they'll be making a night of it."

Valli's heart thudded. "He got his memories back?"

Carol shrugged helplessly. "Not a clue. Nobody's saying anything at the moment, but something's up. You can sense it in the air."

"Oh God." Legs weak, Valli flopped down onto the carpet, grabbed a carrot stick and munched on it. "When do you think they'll be done?"

Carol reached over and patted Valli's shoulder. "Don't wait up, sweetie. Once Dr. Lin gets her teeth into something, she's one who refuses to give up until she's got what she wants." She straightened. "Look, if I hear anything at all, I'll come by and let you know, okay? If I don't show, then you'll know they're still at it."

Valli gulped. "Thanks, Carol. You're a peach. I don't want to get you into trouble, but it's John. He's..." She paused, searching for words. "He's special. To me." She glanced up. "You know?"

Carol nodded. "I know." She walked to the door. "Try not to worry about it. There's nothing you can do at this point. Just relax." She pointed at the tray. "And eat. You missed a proper lunch."

"Yes, Mom." Valli wrinkled her nose at Carol and they shared a laugh as Carol left the room.

Idly, Valli munched her way through the meal, although she'd be in dire straits if anyone quizzed her on what she'd eaten. Her thoughts were all for John--his memories, his state of mind. Was he excited? Scared? Happy, sad, upset, euphoric? Ecstatic? Was he on the phone right this minute to his aunt in Minnesota? Did he have an aunt? Had he ever been to Minnesota?

"Sheesh." Valli snorted at herself. This was no way to behave, mooning about like a teenage girl waiting for the phone to ring, glancing at the clock every five minutes or so. She should do something useful with this time.

There were books to read, maybe some work on her songs. She could stop by the gym and do the workout she'd missed this morning. She could hit the hot tub for a soak or take a swim before the air got too cool.

Or she could check her email, something she'd let slide for too long.

It was her private address, of course, nothing traceable to her public persona. And there was little in it right now. Her friends knew she was recuperating, Charlie had her contact number, so after deleting the amazing amount of junk mail that tended to accumulate, Valli idly surfed around the websites devoted to her professional life.

And stopped when John's face smiled back at her from the most popular pages.

God, he looked good. Relaxed and smiling at her, she realized she'd caught a look in his eyes that would melt more than a few panties out there. It was sexy, satisfied and held more than a dash of total male wickedness. He looked hot.

Well, of course he did. He was.

She clicked on to one of the thousands of sites dedicated to celebrity news, this one focusing on the music industry. She stopped short when she saw John. Again. On the front page too. But this time, there wasn't a number underneath, there was a headline.

"Valli Solo's new love?" She read the words aloud. "Recuperating from the flu and exhaustion, singer Valli Solo has been out of the limelight recently. Rumors are that she's working on a new album while regaining her health. But we have to wonder, after seeing this photo on her website, whether the exhaustion was caused by her tour or something else..."

She shook her head and read on. "Valli has always maintained a low profile when it comes to the men in her life. She says little about them and few photos of her dates ever appear. But we always assumed she knew their names. Who's this mystery man? And what is his connection to Valli Solo? Is he the inspiration for her latest songs? We can't wait to find out...C'mon out of hiding, Valli. And bring your latest delicious hunk with you!"

Delicious hunk? Valli snickered. John would get a hoot out of that one. Since she had no printer and couldn't make him a hard copy, she bookmarked the page and logged out. It was inevitable that the crazy people would try and turn her request for information about John into something enticingly sexy. It was how they sold advertising space, after all.

She probably should have thought ahead to this possibility when the idea of putting his photo on her website occurred to her. But hell, if it brought someone forward who knew him? Then it was worth all the fuss. And Charlie always told her that the worst kind of publicity was no publicity at all.

Perhaps when she got back into the swing of things, she could do one of those Public Service announcements, encouraging people to keep an eye on the "Missing" bulletins. To be aware of lost kids or something. Anything that would help people.

Valli took her music seriously. She took her fans seriously. And giving back was part and parcel of who she was. She'd done some anti-alcohol and anti-drug messages. Also some encouraging mentors.

Only Charlie and her accountant knew there was a fund growing steadily that would go toward helping underprivileged kids get money for college supplies. Grants were out there, but how did they manage once they got in to college? They had to live and eat...Valli hoped to be able to fill that gap at some point. But it was still too soon to go public with it.

And now she had a delicious hunk, did she?

Hmm. That wasn't far off the truth. John qualified as "delicious" in her book.

Thoughts of John, never far away, made Valli look at the clock. It was late now, proving Carol right in her assumption that John would be pulling an all-nighter with Dr. Lin.

Muttering a little prayer that he was okay and that his memories were returning, Valli got ready for bed. She'd be alone in it tonight. Alone but for those haunting images of John rearing up over her. John's mouth on her body, his hands caressing her between her thighs, blinding moments of ecstasy...

Yeah, she was mooning over him.

Sighing, Valli slid into her cold bed and thumped the pillow. There wasn't a damn thing to be gained by chewing over each and every second they'd spent together.

She promptly spent the next hour tossing and turning and doing just that. Reliving a night that had altered everything and shifted Valli Solo's universe. Sleep finally claimed her, only to be filled with dreams of the man, strangely erotic dreams that left her half awake and fully aroused.

It was a long, restless night for Valli, who finally staggered blearily into the shower early the next morning. She scolded herself as she dressed, beating herself up for acting like a lovestruck teenager.

Resolutely, she sat by the French doors with her morning coffee and let the sunshine warm her bones. She'd have to see John today. She wanted to find out what was going on with him. How he was--if he had his memory back.

After that, well--she didn't know. One thing at a time was her philosophy and she was sticking to it.

Two nurses walked briskly along the path just beyond her little patio. She didn't recognize their voices, but could hear them quiet clearly.

"And amazingly enough, it worked."

"Get out."

"Really. I'm not kidding. He was told to have sex to stimulate some cortical connections and damn if it didn't pay off."

"Sex improves brain functions? How come nobody ever told me I could fuck myself smart?"

"Don't know. It's new to me too. Dr. Felix is thrilled, even though he can't take credit for doing anything. Apparently some hot time in the sack was the only cure necessary."

"Damn. Does that come with a prescription?"

Their laughter faded as they walked on, leaving Valli cold in the warmth of the California sunshine. She stared at her hand, realizing it was shaking. Automatically she stood, walked to the table and put down her coffee cup before she dropped it.

Her brain whirled, desperately trying to process what she'd just heart.

Told to have sex?

John had been told to fuck her? She was a prescription? A therapy? Was that all it was? All it had been? An effort to jumpstart some brain cells?

She shook her head almost violently. No. She couldn't buy that. She wouldn't buy that. Nobody could be that cold, that clinical. Or put that much emotion into the act.

Although perhaps someone with no memories could.

It went round and round in her mind, spinning from one viewpoint to another, driving Valli to pace and twist her fingers together without even being aware of her physical agitation.

No matter how she tried to dismiss it, a little niggling doubt always remained. Finally she straightened, took a deep breath and determined to find out for herself. When in doubt, get the information from the source. It was a belief she'd held on to during her career and it had served her well.

So--she had to see John. Now. Before the pain that lurked as a dark shadow around her heart grew to unmanageable proportions.

She strode to the door and opened it to look directly into Carol's eyes.

"Hey, Valli. You're up. Good. How are you today?"

"I want to see John. It's important."

"Honey, come sit down for a minute." Carol's gaze slid away from Valli's.

"No. No sitting down. I need to see him." She swallowed. "It's really important, Carol. I don't ask this lightly."

"I know." Carol took her by the arm and led her to the couch. "Sit down. I'm here about John."

Valli sat, her legs weak, her pulse thudding loudly in her ears. "What is it? What's happened?"

Carol perched on the arm of the sofa. "There was a breakthrough last night. With Dr. Lin. They were working on it when two men arrived. I didn't see them, but apparently they were quite official looking. Dark suits and stuff. They went in to see John and Dr. Lin." She paused. "John left with them last night, Valli. He's gone."

There was a roaring in Valli's ears and she clutched Carol's hand tightly. "Did you say he's gone?"

Carol nodded. "I'm sorry, Valli. Yes, he's gone. And nobody's got any records of who those two men were or where they all went. Even John's files have vanished. It's like he was never here." She frowned. "We're private. We keep our records secure. But I guess that wasn't quite enough for whoever they were."

"Like he was never here." Valli echoed Carol's words. She was blinded, stunned, rocked to her core.

Woodenly, she disengaged her hand from Carol's. "Thanks for telling me, Carol. I appreciate it."

Carol stood and looked at her uncertainly. "Are you all right?"

Dredging up a smile, Valli nodded. "Sure. In fact, I'm thinking it's time for me to head out too. I need to get back to work. All this lazing around in the sunshine--it's not good for a girl to get too relaxed, you know?"

"If you think you're ready..."

Valli waved a hand. "Oh yeah. I'm ready. Can't wait to make music."

"Well, it's up to you. We can't keep you here, much as we'd like to." Carol hugged Valli, who remained stiff in her embrace. "Let him go, dear. Make your music. Move on, okay?"

"Sure, Carol." Valli eased away. "And thanks for everything."

She watched Carol glance uncertainly over her shoulder and smile. She heard the door shut behind her. She stood in the middle of an empty room with a roiling cauldron of emotions seeping through her, leaving her brittle and close to shattering into a million tiny pieces.

Valli walked to her cell phone, picked it up and dialed Charlie.

"Charlie. Come get me. It's time to move on."

After his brief attempt at conversation was terminated by an unresponsive Valli, she closed the phone and sat down on the couch.

Then buried her face in the cushions--and wept.