Charlie had not touched or spoken ten words to her husband since leaving the Duncans. Sean tried to bring her out, but she refused to talk to him.
By Friday night Sean was at the end of his tether. He knew Duncan was waiting for his answer, and even though he wanted to please his wife, this was something he had to do. If only she would talk to him.
Sean pulled the double doors in the front of the livery shut and went to his wife, who was making an expectant mare comfortable for the night.
“Charlotte, can we please talk?” Sean had started the conversation just that way on many occasions, and as before, Charlie ignored him. But Sean had had enough. When Charlie moved away from him he reached for her, but Charlie had second-guessed him and begun to run. A second later she found herself tackled in a stall full of sweet-smelling hay.
She struggled under her husband’s weight, but he held her easily. In fact, he simply captured her hands within his own, buried his face in the side of her neck, and waited for her to stop struggling.
It took a little time, but Sean began to feel the tenseness leave her body. The hands he held began to hold him back and Charlie angled her head so that she could kiss her husband’s forehead.
“Please don’t go,” she finally whispered.
“I have to.”
“Then let me go with you.”
“That’s out of the question.”
Sean heard her sigh. “Sean, I’m afraid you won’t come back alive.”
“I know you are,” Sean said simply.
Charlie fell silent again. “You’re not afraid of death, are you?”
“No. I’ve settled my eternity with God.”
Charlie began to struggle this time so suddenly that Sean let go of her. He watched in surprise as she sprang up and faced him, her hands doubled into fists at her sides.
“I wish someone would tell me what that means!” She was a picture of frustration, and Sean could only gawk as she turned and stormed from the livery.
All this time he had been expecting her to show interest in the things of the Lord, waiting for her to ask questions, when she hadn’t even understood what she had been hearing.
Sean would have liked to have taken a few days to pray over this new revelation, but he didn’t have time. Charlie was right; he might not come back alive. He had to be certain that Charlie understood before he left. Maybe she wouldn’t make a decision, but he had to map it out for her. He would start by apologizing for not explaining in the first place.
“Instead of working on your spelling words tonight, Charlotte, I’d rather we talked.”
“About Hartley.” Charlie’s voice was flat.
“No, about something more important than Hartley.”
Charlie looked over at Sean from her end of the sofa, only to find him watching her. She couldn’t take her eyes off him as he began to share.
“First of all I want to tell you how sorry I am that I haven’t explained my faith to you, and how sorry I am that I took for granted you would understand. I’d like to explain now, if you’ll let me.”
Sean waited for Charlie’s nod and then began.
“When I was four I memorized my first two verses from Scripture—John 3:16 and 17: ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.’ I could say the words both frontward and backward but I didn’t understand that they applied to me personally until I was six.
“When I was six I began to notice for the first time that my sisters and I looked different from the Hawaiian children with whom we were growing up. I remember asking my mother about it, and she told me it was because we were from a different background. I, of course, wanted to know where all the other people like me were. When she explained, I then wanted to know why we even lived in Hawaii in the first place. When she told me that we were there to tell people about the love of Jesus Christ so they could believe in Him, I told her I’d never prayed and told God I believed in his Son.
“To my surprise she told me she had known that all along, but she never worried because she was certain that as soon as I understood, I would believe, and then I would make that step. She was right. We knelt right there on the sand, and I told God I was a sinner who believed He sent His Son to save me, and Charlotte, that’s what I was trying to do with you.
“I was certain that as soon as you heard the words from me or Pastor Miller, you would make a choice for Christ. I lost sight of the fact that I grew up hearing words like ‘saved’ and ‘eternal life,’ forgetting that not everyone understands.” Charlie was taking in every word, so Sean continued.
“I need to tell you why I believe. First of all, belief is a choice. One of the first acts of faith is believing that the Bible is God’s Holy Word, and that the words inside can be trusted and need to be obeyed.
“The Bible tells us that our life on earth is not forever; everyone’s physical body dies, but there is life after death. It also says that all men sin and sin separates us from God, but Charlotte, honey, I honestly didn’t know how to tell you any of this.
“I’ve been so afraid that you would think I was saying I’m better than you are, so I held back. I didn’t want you to think my love was conditional. Am I making any sense?”
Charlie could only nod, and Sean moved on.
“The Bible teaches that this life on earth is temporary, and following this life is eternity. I know you’re not certain that God is there, but I believe with all my heart that He is. And when the time comes for you to die you can either meet God as your Savior, as I will, or you can meet Him as your judge. If you meet Him as your Savior, then you will spend eternity in heaven. If not, then you will spend eternity in hell, separated from God. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior. That’s what I meant when I said that my eternity is settled.
“Should I die on Sunday, I know without a doubt that I’ll go to be with God. That’s why I’m not afraid. I’m not wishing that I’ll die, but I’m not afraid either. You can make that choice also, so you don’t have to be afraid, Charlie, for yourself or for me.”
It was the first time he had called her by her nickname, and it was said so tenderly that it made Charlie tremble.
“Please hold me, Sean,” she whispered.
Sean was more than happy to comply. He knew he had given her a lot to think about, and she obviously needed time to take it in. All he could do for the moment was pray that he would be there when she needed him most.