CHAPTER
FOURTEEN

Noah had tried really, really hard the previous evening. And yet, on every single one of the three doors he’d finally plucked up the courage to knock on, he’d had a negative response, namely:

“No.”

“Piss off.”

“Pete, bring her down, he’s here! She seems to have got something stuck up her anus— Oh, sorry, you’re not the vet, are you?”

But it was a new dawn, a new day, and he was feeling … mildly confident. He had a plan. Selling the shake yourself was one revenue stream. But the more lucrative one was recruiting others to sell for you. It was simple psychology – people didn’t buy products, they bought people. Part of the reason Noah was even involved with this was that, deep down, a little part of him still looked up to Josh. The looks, the cool, confident persona – it was appealing. Noah wasn’t buying protein shake, he was buying Josh. And now, Noah needed to find someone who would buy Noah. Noah needed to find someone who would be equally impressed with him. Someone who would look up to him; see him as a mentor. The Year Eights were a bunch of gobby shits, already too big for their boots. But the Year Sevens were a different matter. Barely four months out of primary school, these nervous little kids would surely be easy pickings for Noah. As a Year Eleven, they would naturally hold him in high esteem – maybe even be a little bit scared of Noah, just like he was of Josh.

And Noah had his sights firmly on one kid in particular. Jack Hooper. The kid had just been elected as Year Seven rep to the school council, ergo he must be both ambitious and have the respect of his peers. These were exactly the qualities Noah needed in one of his sellers.

“Good afternoon, Jack!” Noah gave a confident, wide smile as he approached the bench where Jack was lounging, baby-faced and barely four-and-a-half feet tall, but legs apart and chewing gum like a really much older boy, like a Year Ten, maybe. He was surrounded by what appeared to be a group of Year Seven henchmen – but that was clearly ridiculous because they were just Year Sevens.

A very tall girl swaggered up to Noah. “Who’s this joker?”

“I wish to speak to Jack.” Noah swallowed. “It’s school council business.”

Jack looked up (finally!) and gave Noah a lazy glance up and down. “It’s Noah, yeah?”

“Yes, it’s me,” Noah said.

“Cool,” Jack sniffed. “Guys, I need some space,” he said to his goons.

Noah waited patiently as the gang of eight kids collected their bags and slunk off to the other corner of the playground. “So!” Noah began. “This is nice. I thought it might be—”

“Why are you here?” Jack interrupted.

“Right, OK, yes. So … may I sit?”

Jack nodded his consent and Noah perched down next to him, got his phone out and passed it to Jack. “You seen this stuff?”

Jack glanced at the picture on the screen. “Protein powder? Yeah, I’ve seen it. What about it?”

“It’s a real growing market, Jack. Everyone wants to get their hands on it. Everyone wants to look good, right?!” Noah laughed, loud and hard, for way too long.

Jack gave him a withering look. “It can fuck up your kidneys, that stuff.”

“Wha— Can it?” Noah said.

Jack nodded. “If you take too much.” He chewed his Wrigley’s Extra for a bit. “Anyway, what about it?”

Noah leaned into the boy. “This stuff is selling like … lemonade on a drrrrry, hot day.”

Jack screwed his face up. “Right?”

“I’m helping to sell this stuff and, let me tell you, I’m making good money.”

“How much?”

Noah nodded. “Three hundred a week, not gonna lie,” he lied.

Jack handed Noah the phone back. “It looks like low-quality shit.”

“No! No, Jack, it’s high-quality shit. I mean, not even shit. Nectar. It’s the protein powder of the gods. And this is a brilliant multilevel network marketing opportunity.”

“You mean it’s a pyramid scheme.”

Noah’s leg started bouncing up and down. “No. No, no, no. It’s just a simple network of sales reps, all working for the common good. No pyramid in sight. Look, do you want in? There’s money to be made. Good money. Think of all the Lego you could buy.”

Jack snorted. “Lego? Fucking Lego?”

Noah sighed. For a Year Seven he was certainly very confident with swear words and alarmingly clued up about the world. Kids grew up fast these days. “Or whatever. You can buy … sweets, then!”

Jack laughed.

“Football cards?”

Jack guffawed with what appeared to be a vast amount of contempt.

“Listen, you can buy hard drugs and pay sex workers for all I care, do you want in?”

Jack shook his head. “Not really, Noah. Like I said, it looks like low-grade powder, with an unknown brand. It’ll be a tough sell.”

“You can get thirty quid a tub for it.”

“And how much would I have to buy it for?”

Noah stifled a smile. He had him hooked. Now for the price! Josh sold it to Noah for a tenner a tub. If Noah sold it on for twenty, he could make a tidy ten-pound profit per sale. “Twenty.”

“Make it six and we have a deal.”

“Six fifty!” Noah blurted out, immediately realizing he should have come back with nineteen.

“Done!” Jack grabbed Noah’s hand and shook it. “Nice doing business with you.”

“No, wait, I made a fatal error because—”

Jack brushed Noah away. “You need to go, mate, I’ve got a date with my girlfriend.”

Noah stared at him for a moment. How could this kid, who was twelve tops, have an actual, living girlfriend? Why was everyone so much more advanced than Noah was? “Look, of course, but when I said six fifty, what I meant was—”

“She’s in Year Eight, just to warn you.”

“Oh God,” Noah said.

“I’ll come find you when I’ve got my leads confirmed,” Jack said.

“Uh-huh, lovely.” Noah nodded.

“And you’d better have a reliable supply, because I’m gonna shift a metric fuck-tonne of this shit!”

“Cool, cool, everything’s cool, it’s just, I really need—”

Jack tossed him a two-pound coin. “Do us a favour and grab a can of KA from the canteen, will ya?”

Noah missed the coin, scrambling around on the ground to retrieve it. “Um, I’m kind of busy, though.”

Jack held his hand out. “Get one for yourself, obviously.”

Noah nodded. “Oh, well, that’s kind – thank you. Thanks. I’ll…”

“Be back soon. I’m thirsty.”

“I’ll … sure. Right now, then. Great. So…” Noah smiled at Jack, but he was already busy texting on his phone. “OK, back in a minute, then.”

Noah scuttled off in the direction of the vending machines in the main hall. “Hellfire and damnation,” he muttered to himself. How had he allowed this to happen? Why was Jack so intimidating? Should he tell a teacher?

“Oh, hi there, No-ah!” Jess Jackson cooed, as she turned around from the vending machine, a Cadbury Flake in hand, as Noah hurried up.

“Jess.” He squeezed past her and inserted his coin into the slot.

“So. Harry and Pierre,” Jess said.

Noah froze at the machine and took a breath. Whatever bullshit she was about to spout, he didn’t want to hear it.

“Mmmmmm,” she purred. Noah glanced to the side, catching sight of her caressing the Flake with her parted glossy lips. “I love Flakes.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “Oh? Are you still here, Jessica?” He gave her a tight smile and pressed the buttons for his can.

“That’s cool, Noah. You’re clearly fine with the whole cinema thing, so my work here is done.”

THUD. The can hit the bottom of the vending drawer. Noah grabbed it and darted after Jess as she strolled away, gently stroking her baby bump.

“Wait, Jess! What do you mean the ‘cinema thing’? How do you … how did you know about the cinema?”

Jess took another languid bite of Flake, brushing some stray flecks of chocolate from her lips with her little finger. “I was at the cinema last night. I saw Harry and Pierre.”

Noah swallowed. “Yes, they went to the cinema. I couldn’t go.”

“Exactly. That’s why you didn’t see.”

“See what?”

“You didn’t see Pierre all snuggled into Harry, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. You didn’t see how cosy it looked, Noah. Maybe it means nothing. In fact, I’m sure it’s totally innocent. I just thought I should say something. Josh says we gotta look after the employees, so, I guess that’s what I’m doing. It’s just, you have to admit, you do have this habit of somehow repelling people, don’t you?” She smiled at him, a sad sort of smile. “I hope I’m wrong, Noah. I really hope I’m wrong. But, let’s face it, you know I’m usually right.”