CHAPTER
THIRTY-SIX
It was quite incredible, really. Noah stretched his legs out in front of him as he sat on the wooden bench overlooking the boating lake in Regent’s Park. Bambi Sugapops was sitting next to him, in her full gear, and no one so much as batted an eyelid. Just a teenage boy and a drag queen, enjoying looking at the geese and swans, on this surprisingly mild January afternoon.
This really was a wonderful city. And to find such a tranquil haven, in the middle of all the madness, was rather blissful. London had it all. Even the sun was shining, glinting off the boating lake, as a young couple splashed by in a pedalo. Maybe, when Harry and Pierre returned from fetching lunch, Noah would take Haz out on a pedalo. It had a romantic feel to it, and now that the diamonds were safely retrieved, ensuring Gran would get better treatment, and now there was no sign of the sinister government agents tracking him, romance was very much on Noah’s mind.
But what if Noah suffered a repeat of the tent incident? What if things were all lovely and romantic, and the moment for love had arrived, and Noah couldn’t manage it?
On the other hand, Noah had been very distracted last night, and perhaps had a sip or two too much of Pierre’s wine. Not only that, the others had all been listening in, able to hear every single word he and Harry exchanged – hardly a recipe for successful intimate relations. Surely it was just a blip? Surely it would be fine?
All those distractions had pretty much vanished now.
And in the privacy of a hotel room…
Noah turned to Bambi, who was finishing retouching her nails. “Um, this hotel situation…” he began.
“Oh, hun,” Bambi smiled. “I got such a fabuloso deal on the website. We’re upgraded to executive rooms and breakfast is thrown in free.”
“Oh, that’s … fabuloso indeed!” Noah agreed.
“On-site spa too, if you fancy a steam or massage.”
“Huh. Maybe,” Noah said. “But in terms of the sleeping accommodation, how will that work?”
“I’ve put all you kids in one room – there’s two twin beds, a fold-out sofa thing and a put-me-up – you can fight it out amongst yourselves.” Bambi handed Noah the little bottle of nail varnish. “Do that back up for me, babe.”
Noah tried not to show his disappointment – it was kind enough of Bambi to pay out for the hotel anyway – but it did feel like this would be a huge missed opportunity. He needed to find a way for Pierre and Eva not to be sharing a room with them. Because if something was to happen, it would be amazing if it happened in an executive room. No desperate fumbles on top of all the coats in someone’s mum’s bedroom for them! Instead, tea and coffee-making facilities, complimentary hand soaps, a sign you could hang on the door saying “Do not disturb”, and probably a free packet of shortbread. An opulent setting that most teens planning on losing their virginity could surely only dream of!
Noah looked up and saw Harry and Pierre approaching along the path, bags of lunch in hand. “Is that lunch?” Noah said. “How lovely! Do sit down and let us eat this fine London food! Mmm!”
Harry chuckled. “Someone’s in a good mood!”
“Yep!” Noah beamed. “And that someone is me, Haz! At last, something has gone right!”
Harry grinned and perched down next to Noah, pulling some packs of sandwiches out of his bag and handing them to Bambi and Noah.
“Finally, decent coffee,” Pierre said, sipping an espresso as he sat on the end of the bench.
“Do you want your baguette?” Harry asked, holding it out for Pierre to take.
“Merci.” Pierre took a bite of it and grimaced. “Your English bread is so … interesting.” He tore a piece of bread off and threw it in front of him for a passing goose, then necked the rest of his espresso. “So, Noah, let us see these precious diamonds that we have come so far to receive!”
“Well, OK,” Noah said, pulling the little velvet bag out of his pocket with his free hand. “Be careful, though, Pierre.”
Noah watched like a hawk as Pierre opened the little bag and peered inside. “Small,” he said.
“But valuable,” Noah told him, keeping his eyes fixed on Pierre as he took another bite of his ham-and-cheese sandwich. The goose looked up at him and honked, clearly interested in whether Noah might offer some of his sandwich too. “Shoo, shoo, goosey,” Noah said, and then looked back at Pierre. “Don’t take them out of the bag!”
“I don’t,” Pierre said. “I only look.”
“Crisps,” Harry said, passing a bag of ready salted to Noah. “Crisps, Pierre?”
“Sure.”
The goose honked again. It appeared to want some crisps too.
Pierre put his baguette down on the bench so he could take the crisps.
And the next thing Noah knew, the goose, frenzied and fierce, charged towards them, apparently desperate for a bread fix. HOOOOOONK!
Pierre gasped and jumped as the violent goose flapped into him, baring its serrated teeth and smacking its wings into Pierre’s face like a cricket bat.
Wings!
Flapping!
SLAP!
HONK!
“ARRGH!”
THWACK!
HOOONK!
Pierre flailed, his right arm bashing against Harry’s left.
And somehow, he lost his grip on the bag of diamonds…
Which went flying into the air…
Noah watched in slow motion as the bag spun, turned upside down, and ten twinkling diamonds fell out….
They bounced on the ground…
Noah reached out…
But before he could get to them…
The goose had pecked up the lot.