They watched the parade, then started season one of Murder, She Wrote. Ben seemed to enjoy both, but as the afternoon wore on, he became distracted. He fidgeted, his eyes often straying away from the screen to the window and the pale sky beyond it.

“I can take you outside if you want,” Jason said at last.

“I don’t want you to freeze on my account.” Jason had never heard him sound so frustrated. “I hate that I have to depend on you for every little thing.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Not at the moment, maybe. But you will eventually.”

Jason didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted to deny it, but he understood on some level that the devotion he felt now might wear off after a few years of carrying the globe from room to room. But he was also sure they’d eventually find a way to get Ben out of the globe. Or they’d find other people who could see Ben. Or they’d just learn to better navigate the barriers in their way.

“Well, for right now, I’m perfectly happy to take you outside, as long as you don’t mind waiting for me to put on some shoes and a coat.”

It was warmer outside than he expected—still cool, but not freezing—and Jason turned to Ben, who was barely visible in the daylight. “Which way? You want to go back to the stream?”

Ben tilted his head, considering. “Which direction can we go the farthest?”

Jason thought back to the property maps he’d seen when he bought the house. He pointed toward the woods at the back porch. “That way. Why?”

“I’ve been wondering about my limits. I was able to stay with you in that big store. I wish I’d tried going through that automatic door when somebody else walked through. I wonder if that would have worked. I doubt it, though. I think I would have been stuck inside with the globe like I am with houses. But what about your car? I wonder, if you rolled down the window, would I be able to get out?”

“Can you normally get out of open windows?”

“No. But I keep thinking a car might be different.”

“We’ll have to try.” But the question brought up other possibilities. “I wonder how it would work in a different house. Mine’s pretty old-fashioned, all the rooms separate. But a lot of modern homes have really open floor plans. It can be hard to say exactly where the kitchen ends and the dining room or living room begin. I wonder if you’d have more movement in a space like that?” What would Sydney think if he called her up and told her he wanted to shop for a new house again already? “Is that what this walk is about? Seeing how far you can go?”

Ben nodded hesitantly. “Until recently, the only time I’ve ever been outside was when the soldier took the globe away. But if I can walk around outside without you having the globe right next to me . . .” He shrugged uncomfortably. “Don’t get me wrong. I love being with you. But it’d give me a bit of independence I haven’t had before, you know?”

Jason nodded. “I understand completely.” He held up the globe. “I should leave this here then?”

Ben nodded. Jason placed the globe on the back patio and they started walking. Of course, leaving the music box behind meant he could only hear Ben for the first couple of minutes. After that, they walked in silence, the weak autumn sunlight dancing through the trees. They spotted squirrels and birds and once, a fox, who watched them with wide eyes as they passed. Could she see Ben, Jason wondered. He wished he knew.

Finally, they reached the fence line at the edge of his property. Jason regretted not taking Ben to the east where his property abutted the National Forest. Instead, they were faced with private property to the south. They stared for a moment at the strings of barbed wire, then at each other.

Ben pointed past the fence. I want to keep going.

“I can’t go with you.”

I know.

“You’ll be okay?”

Ben laughed silently. Jason couldn’t quite read his lips, but the mirth on his face said it all. What do you think could happen?

Still, Jason was hesitant to let him go. What if Ben managed to keep on walking? “You’ll come back, right?”

Ben’s laughter turned to an expression of surprise. Of course.

That made him feel better. “Do you want me to wait here, or meet you back at the house?”

Ben waved toward the house.

“Okay. You’ll be able to find it, right? You won’t get lost?”

Ben gave him that same mocking smile. He spoke slowly so Jason could read his lips. I can always find the globe.

“Okay.” Jason nodded, unable to explain his hesitance to be parted from Ben. It defied all logic, so he forced a smile. “Don’t take any candy from strangers and be back before dark, all right?”

Ben cocked his head in confusion.

“Never mind. Just . . .” Just what? Be careful? Don’t disappear? Don’t decide you like the neighbors better? Don’t find some new magical snow globe to occupy, because I’d miss you more than I can say? He’d feel like a fool saying any of those things. “Have fun,” he finished lamely.

Ben nodded and said something that might have been See you later, and then he turned away. Jason watched in silence as he stepped easily through the barbed wire fence. He watched as Ben hiked effortlessly up the hill, his spectral form slowly disappearing into the trees.

And finally, Jason knew what he’d meant to say.

“Be home soon.”

Jason left the snow globe on the back porch, although it went against every instinct in his body. He wanted to keep Ben close. But taking the globe inside now would probably break Ben’s connection to his spectral form as it roved over the hillside, so Jason went past it into the warmth of the house. It was only another ten minutes before Ben appeared again—not walking down the hill, but suddenly popping into existence next to the globe—but he quickly waved Jason to stay inside.

I’m going to try again.

And off he went.

Jason made himself a cup of coffee and some dinner, eventually pulling one of his dining room chairs into the kitchen so he could watch out the back door. Ben came back twice, but both times he turned and started off again, walking different directions each trip, his lips moving silently.

He was counting his steps.

The next time he appeared, Jason poked his head out the door. It was still early in the evening, but being so late in the year, darkness had fallen. The temperature had dropped a good ten degrees, and without the light, Jason cold barely make out the trees at the edge of his property. “Are you ready to come in?”

Ben held up a finger. One more time.

He’d just disappeared into the darkness when Jason’s phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts. There were only a handful of people who might be calling him, Natalie and Dylan being on the top of the list. For the first time ever, he was glad to see his agent’s name rather than Dylan’s.

“Hey, Jason,” she said when he answered, and he could tell by her tone he wasn’t going to enjoy this conversation. “I’m sorry to call on Thanksgiving. Are you busy?”

“Not at all.”

“Have you been online yet today?”

His heart sank. “No. Why?”

“Well, there’s a weird story circulating. Something about you going to a movie theater and then wandering through a Best Buy?”

Jason closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. “Okay.”

“It started out with one girl tweeting, and then another person jumped in, and then somebody posted a photo of you in Best Buy. And then StarWatch got ahold of it and bought the picture—”

“What does it matter if I was in Best Buy?”

“They say you were acting crazy. Talking to yourself and threatening people?”

“What?” The first thing he understood. But the second? “Who says I threatened them?”

“Well, that’s part of what StarWatch is saying on their webpage. They attribute it to ‘witnesses who asked not to be identified.’”

“In other words, they made it up.”

“Probably. The original tweeters have openly said they saw no hostility, but you know how these things go. The good news is, I think it’s already peaked and is on its way back out. I mean, we also have a professional baseball player who got arrested yesterday for domestic violence, and another Hollywood couple who eloped to Vegas three days ago and are already filing for divorce. And there was a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the AMAs that makes Janet Jackson’s original Super Bowl booby-shot look like child’s play, so you’re actually only generating a tiny amount of buzz right now. It isn’t even worth worrying about, in my opinion, but I wanted you to hear it from me first.”

“I appreciate that.” Although it was partially a lie. If she hadn’t called, he never would have known about it at all, and he was beginning to think that ignorance really was bliss when it came to the media. “Anything else?”

“Have you read the script yet?”

“Not yet.”

“You’re going to, right?”

“Eventually.”

“Good, because the word is that most of the other actors are waiting to hear your decision before they’ll commit.”

Jason blinked, absorbing that. “Really?”

“Well, one of them is your friend Dylan, so that’s no real surprise. But also Kayleigh Brooks. Do you remember her?”

“Of course.” Especially after watching the movie so recently and answering Ben’s questions about whether or not he found her attractive.

“She’s holding out too. Says she’ll only do it if you’re on board. But without you, Kayleigh and Dylan both intend to pass. And without the three of you, the entire project is doomed. The producers are starting to panic.”

It surprised him. Sure, he and Kayleigh had gotten along. They’d worked well together. But he would never have expected her to base her decision on him. “I’ll read it soon, I promise.”

“Okay.” She hesitated, and he knew she was fumbling for something else to say, although he couldn’t figure out why she suddenly seemed so awkward. “Are you having a good Thanksgiving?” she asked at last. “Not spending it alone, I hope?”

She knew he’d never be with his parents. This was her way of checking in. “No, I’m not alone.” Although with Ben gone, it sure felt that way. “I’m spending it with a friend.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You take care, all right?”

“I will.” He clicked off and sat, staring blankly out the window, lost in thought.

He wanted to take the part. It made no sense—only a few weeks ago, he’d sworn he was through with Hollywood forever. And yet now he found himself wondering about how it would feel to make Summer Camp Nightmare 4.

First, he’d be with Dylan, but that thought didn’t fill him with joy the way it once had. There was Kayleigh, who he hadn’t thought about since the first movie had wrapped, but he remembered her fondly. There was the new director. A few quick calls around would be enough to determine what kind of set the man ran. Jason worried he’d regret it later like he always did, and yet acting was something he knew. Besides, he’d need to work eventually, one way or another. Wasn’t acting as good a way to make a living as any?

Sometimes he thought so. Sometimes he thought it was hell.

Movement outside the window caught his eye, and he looked up to see Ben had returned. After being outside in the cold for so long, Ben’s cheeks and nose should have been rosy, but he was pale as always. He waved, indicating he was finished wandering the property, and Jason rose and joined him on the patio. “Well,” he asked after winding the snow globe, “what’d you find out?”

“Two thousand paces,” Ben said. “That’s how far I got, every single time.”

“Just like in the globe?”

“I guess now I know the length of my tether.” He leaned back against the air, two inches in front of the patio railing. “I thought I’d be mad about it when the globe pulled me back, but two thousand paces isn’t bad, right? It’s far enough away that we can each have our privacy if we need it, but not so far that I feel like you’ve left me.”

Jason nodded, thinking how much he’d missed Ben while he’d been wandering through the woods counting his steps. He thought again about the conversation he’d had with Natalie. He’d been on the verge of deciding to take the part but now, seeing Ben’s smiling face, he wavered. “I don’t know how you maintain such a good attitude about all of this.”

Ben laughed. “Oh, it hasn’t always been positive. You caught me in a good decade.”

Jason wanted to laugh too, but found he couldn’t. He was busy thinking about Kayleigh and Natalie. And Summer Camp Nightmare 4.

And Dylan.

“Sometimes I feel like I have a tether too, only it’s less about distance and more about time.”

Ben wrinkled his forehead in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“With Hollywood. With my career. Like I can’t go too long without committing to something. Even when I know I shouldn’t, I still hear this voice inside me telling me it has to be done.”

“And is that voice automatically wrong? Or is it your assumption that you shouldn’t do it that’s wrong?”

Jason shrugged it off, not wanting to explore the analogy any further. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

Ben nodded and tilted his head back to gaze up at the stars, as if soaking them in.

“We can stay out for a while if you want.”

Ben glanced over at him. Aren’t you freezing? The music box had run out, but Jason was able to lip-read the question.

“A little. But I can fix that.”

He went inside and added a couple of layers—a sweatshirt and his coat and gloves—then grabbed an extra comforter out of the closet to wrap around himself. When he emerged again onto the back patio, he found Ben lying flat on the wooden surface. In the near darkness, he seemed more solid than ever, his skin pale and beautiful in the starlight. He’d only misjudged his placement by about half an inch. He seemed to float lazily just above the rough wooden boards. Jason grabbed the globe and wound it as he crossed over to Ben.

“Comfortable?” he asked.

“Sure,” Ben said. “You should come down here too. It’ll be easier on your neck.”

“But harder on my back.” Nonetheless, Jason obliged. He set the globe down and spread the blanket out, letting it fall through Ben’s form and settle underneath him, so it seemed like they were sharing it. He lay next to Ben and pulled the edge up over himself for warmth.

“Isn’t it amazing?” Ben asked. “This is one of the things I’ve loved about this house ever since I came here. The other places I’ve been the last few decades were all in town, and it’s so much harder to see the stars. But out here, they’re everywhere. It’s how I remember it being back in Tennessee. I’d go into the neighbor’s apple orchard and lay there staring up at the stars.”

Jason stared up into the sparkling void. “It’s a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“I think it’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I suppose.” But Jason was a city boy, through and through. He found the expanse of endless stars above him a bit disconcerting: one small, twinkling light for every aspiring star in Hollywood. It was a horrible reminder of how small and insignificant he really was. He chose to ignore the sky and turned toward Ben instead, rolling onto his side and propping his head up on one elbow. The motion took him nearer to Ben, bringing them almost face-to-face. It would have taken very little effort to roll forward a bit more. If Ben were solid, they would have been touching. He could easily have shifted his weight and lain on top of Ben. He might have stared down into his trusting eyes. The thought made Jason’s heart ache.

“Tell me about the orchard.”

“It was on the property adjacent to ours. My dad hoped to buy that land eventually—to expand his farm—but he never had the money, and I was glad. I would have been sad to see all those apple trees torn down only to make room for more cotton.”

“You like apples?”

“I do.” Ben closed his eyes in remembrance. “I did, at least. Sometimes we’d buy some of the windfall from him, and Cook would make applesauce. But what I liked most was just being there, in the middle of all those trees. My dad never thought to look for me there. Nobody did.” He opened his eyes again, smiling. “It’s funny. I used to want nothing more than to be left alone. And now, I feel like I’ve had enough solitude to last me an eternity.”

“I can understand that.” Both parts of it, truth be told.

“This is perfect though,” Ben went on, scooting a bit closer and lowering his eyelids in a way that would have seemed like flirtation on anybody else, but on him somehow came across as sweet and hesitant. “Being with you.”

Jason soaked that in as the music box ran down. It really was perfect, lying there together under the cover of night. Nothing stirred around them. Not a single sound penetrated their haven. Was it really so silent? Was the universe really holding its breath just for them? Or was it only that he no longer cared about anything but Ben? Ben seemed so real and solid beside him, his pale skin practically glowing, his full lips dark and pouting and begging to be tasted, his every glance and move and gesture an unknowing invitation, and for the first time, Jason hated their predicament.

“Man, this sucks,” he said quietly.

Ben cocked his head. Raised an eyebrow in query.

“I’d give anything to be able to kiss you right now.”

Ben’s eyes widened in surprise. Those lips that had so thoroughly captivated Jason formed the word, Really?

“Yes, really.” Now that he’d said it, he wanted it even more than before. “You have the most perfect lips I’ve ever seen. It’s driving me crazy.”

Ben’s image flickered. Jason wondered if it was from embarrassment, or discomfort, or something else entirely.

“You’d let me?” Jason asked. “If I could?”

Ben nodded, putting up a hand as if he could touch Jason’s cheek, and for a moment they lay there, staring into each other’s eyes. Jason felt sure they were both contemplating the magnitude of exactly what they were being denied. Ben’s eyes became sad, then thoughtful. Finally, he turned and pointed at the globe, and Jason dutifully wound it as far as it would go before setting it aside and returning to his position leaning over Ben’s spectral form.

“What else would you do, if you could?”

Jason felt a thrill at the sudden invitation he saw in Ben’s eyes, and at the shy seductiveness of his tone. “Anything you’d let me.”

“You’d kiss me on the mouth?”

“God, yes.”

Ben smiled, biting the lower lip that Jason longed to touch. “Anywhere else?”

“Your cheek. And then your ear. And then . . .”

“Yes?”

“I’d leave a few marks on that pretty neck of yours.”

Ben put his fingers against his neck, caressing the skin between his ear and his shoulder. He turned his head, exposing that expanse of flesh to Jason’s sight. “Here?”

“Yes.” It came out a breathless moan. “And while I was doing that, I’d undo your shirt.” He eyed the buttons running down Ben’s chest. “I’d move it aside and—”

“No.” Ben shook his head. “You don’t want to see me naked.”

“Really? It sure feels like I do.”

“I’m skinny and weak and pale. I’m runty. That’s what my dad always said.”

“I would never use that word to describe you.”

“Well, I don’t look like you.”

“Good. If you looked like me, it’d be damn weird for me to be this attracted to you.”

“I only meant—”

“I know what you meant.” Now that they were talking about it, he couldn’t help but imagine Ben naked, and the thought made his heart do strange, fluttery things. “You’re wrong. I very much want to see you naked. And telling me you’re skinny and pale isn’t changing that.” Quite the opposite, in fact. True, Ben wasn’t big or muscular, but Jason suspected his skin was soft as silk. He imagined kissing Ben’s flat stomach, and the ache in his groin increased at the thought. He had to reach down and shift his jeans over his growing erection. “Take off your jacket and shirt for me, and I’ll prove it. And then I’ll tell you all the other things I’d like to do to you.”

Ben’s lips turned down into a frown. “I can’t.”

“You can’t take off your clothes?”

“I can inside, but not out here.” He moved his hands oddly over his chest, rubbing his fingers together over his sternum before moving his hands an inch lower and doing it again. It took Jason a moment to realize he was working buttons, and yet the image of his dark waistcoat lay unmoving on his chest. “See? It’s like it’s only a picture of me, and I can’t change it.”

“That’s even more unfair than not being able to kiss you.”

Ben laughed, but he didn’t sound amused. He seemed forlorn, and he turned his face away, staring sadly across the cold, brown grass to the distant woods.

He thinks that’s the end of it, Jason realized. He can’t take off his clothes, so he thinks I’ve given up on him already.

“I’d undo your shirt,” Jason said, picking up his monologue from before, and Ben’s eyes returned to him, bright with hope. “I’d push it off of you while I kissed your chest. And then I’d move to your nipples. I’d spend a long time there, too. Has anybody ever done that for you?”

Ben’s lips moved. The music box had run out, but Jason understood him anyway. No.

“You’ll be surprised at how good it feels. And while I’m doing that, I’d undo your pants, because despite what you may think, I do want to see you naked. Desperately. So I’d take your pants off next, just so I could look at you.” Jason imagined Ben lying naked and vulnerable in front of him. He imagined his cock, thin and pale. “Are you circumcised?”

He thought he detected a blush at that question, but then Ben shook his head no.

“Oh man,” Jason breathed. “Good answer.”

Ben smiled, his eyes full of something Jason had never seen there before. He pointed at the globe, and Jason turned the key a couple of times. “Do you remember when you first saw me?” Ben asked.

“Yes.”

“And do you remember what that man was doing for you at the time?”

“A blowjob?”

“That’s what you call it?”

“Yes.”

Ben closed his eyes. His image flickered, but then glowed strong. When he opened his eyes again, they were dark and seductive. “Would you do that to me?”

“Gladly.”

Ben smiled shyly. “I bet it feels good.”

“That’s a bet you’d win.” Jason imagined moving down Ben’s pale stomach to his groin. He imagined the dark hair there, and Ben’s uncut erection. He imagined sliding back Ben’s foreskin and tasting the dampness underneath. “Jesus,” he moaned, reaching down to cup his aching groin in his hand. He either needed to touch himself or go take an ice-cold shower. “You’re going to leave me in a bit of a predicament here.”

“Then solve it,” Ben said, his voice low and throaty. “Here with me.”

Jason nearly laughed before the meaning of Ben’s words hit him. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Ben’s eyes were surprisingly bold. “I can pretend this hand on me is yours. And you can pretend the hand on you is mine.”

“You’re serious?”

“Absolutely.”

Could he really do this? Jason glanced around them, at his dark backyard and the distant trees, then back at Ben’s face. He was usually so full of joy, but now his eyes glowed with something else—something far more primal and far more arousing. His lips formed a perfect pout as he waited for Jason’s decision.

Jason considered, caressing his erection through his jeans as he did. A low, desperate sound escaped from his throat.

“Yes,” Ben urged as the music box wound down. “Like that.”

Jason hesitated. Was he seriously considering jacking off with Ben’s projection here, on the exposed space of his back patio?

Yes. Yes, he was.

It was too cold to take off his coat, but he removed his gloves and unbuttoned his pants, finally freeing himself from the constraint of his jeans. He stopped long enough to wind the music box again as far as it would go—he wanted to be able to hear Ben—and then returned to his position above Ben, only this time with his free hand wrapped around his cock.

“Tell me you’re really doing this too,” he said as he began to stroke.

Ben nodded, seemingly breathless, his eyes half-lidded. Jason studied the length of Ben’s body as he continued his own masturbation. Their upper halves were more or less separate, but with Jason leaning over him, Ben’s spectral form intercepted Jason’s body from about the waist down. He could see Ben’s arm moving, although he couldn’t see Ben’s cock. It disconcerted him, so he focused instead on Ben’s pleasure-flushed face.

Jason made his living pretending, and it was easy to fall back on that skill now. He and Ben really were together, skin to skin, both as solid and real as the deck beneath them. Ben stroked him, and he stroked Ben. He imagined devouring Ben’s gorgeous lips. He imagined kissing Ben’s neck, and Ben’s warm mouth brushing his ear. He built his dream world on the sound of Ben’s frantic moans and the sight of his lust-filled eyes. God, he was gorgeous. Young and blindingly innocent. So trapped, and yet completely unafraid. He met Jason’s gaze without embarrassment or apology—nothing but the obvious joy of sharing themselves in such an intimate way and the desperate urgency of knowing the end would come too soon.

“Jason,” Ben breathed, his voice strained, and Jason knew what that meant. He felt his own pleasure begin to peak in response.

“Not yet,” he pleaded, wanting to revel in that warm shared space forever. “Not yet, honey. Please hang on.”

“I . . . I don’t think I can.”

And the minute Ben lost it, Jason knew he would too. He sped up his strokes. He imagined driving Ben relentlessly toward his climax. He gazed into Ben’s eyes, saw the boy’s futile struggle to hold on, and suddenly felt guilty for his selfishness. “Don’t fight it,” he whispered. “Do what feels good, and I’ll be right here with you.”

Ben blinked, his image wavering. “Oh . . .” he said quietly.

And then he came.

Jason couldn’t see the details, but he didn’t need to. He knew by the way Ben’s body moved, the way his back and neck arched. He knew by the way Ben’s image flickered fitfully, and the expression on his gorgeous face. And Jason watched, letting his own orgasm come too, ejaculating onto the blanket as he reveled in the sight of Ben’s pleasure. The music box ran down before it was over, but it was easy to imagine Ben’s soft sighs as he finally went still. His image wavered and began to fade. His eyes drifted shut, as if he could barely hold them open. He gripped his chest with one pale hand.

Jason, his lips said soundlessly. I have to go.

“Is something wrong?”

No. I just need a minute.

“Did I upset you?”

Ben smiled, shaking his head, although Jason could barely see his face now. I’ll be back.

And that was it. He disappeared, leaving Jason alone on the patio, the sticky mess at his groin rapidly cooling in the evening breeze. He flopped onto his back, staring up at the cold distant stars as he absentmindedly used the comforter to wipe himself clean.

“Fuck my life,” he groaned to the sky. “Now I want to kiss him more than ever.”

He didn’t realize until he was back inside how cold he was. He left the globe in his bedroom and took a quick shower, hoping Ben would be back by the time he emerged, but he wasn’t. It wasn’t until two hours later, as he was lying in bed playing solitaire on his phone that Ben finally appeared, although his projection was far more transparent than usual.

Jason retrieved the globe from the bedside table and wound it, then turned back to Ben, keeping the globe in his hand.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I’m just really tired. All that walking wore me out, and then what we did afterward. I didn’t realize how hard that would be, trying to stay here while I . . . um . . . did that.” Ben ducked his head in embarrassment, and Jason found himself smiling.

“Can you stay now?”

“Not for long, I don’t think.” But he moved onto the bed as he said it. He stretched out on his side, his head propped up with one arm, although as usual, a good inch of him descended into the mattress.

It was wonderfully intimate, having Ben in his bed, even if he couldn’t really touch him. Even if he couldn’t pull him into his arms and fall asleep with Ben’s head on his chest, as he suddenly longed to do. Jason moved nearer, mirroring Ben’s position so they were face-to-face, a mere foot between them. “Then I’ll cherish the few minutes we have.”

Ben grinned. “I think you might actually mean that.”

“I wouldn’t tell a lie that cheesy.” Ben laughed, but he still seemed reluctant to meet Jason’s eyes. Jason was pretty sure he knew why. “Have you done that before?”

Ben shook his head. “Not since I’ve been in the globe. At least, you know . . . not with anybody other than myself.”

“And before the globe?”

He was sure Ben was blushing, but blushes were difficult to detect on Ben’s strong days. Now, with his image so faint, it was impossible to see the tinge of red that must be warming his cheeks. “That makes exactly my fourth time with another person.”

And the last time would have been before the Battle of Fort Sumter in 1861. Jason vowed to never complain about his dry spells again. No wonder Ben hadn’t lasted long, after waiting a hundred and fifty years for somebody else to touch him.

And that person had been Jason, in spirit, if not in the flesh. His heart swelled at the thought. “I’m really glad it was with me.”

Ben sucked his lower lip in thoughtfully, his expression suddenly somber. “I wish I could make it as good for you.”

“It was good for me.”

“No, but . . . it’s not the same. I know that. For me, it’s something I can’t have with anybody else. But for you, it’s—”

“Something I can’t have with anybody else.”

Ben blinked at him, and Jason used his moment of silence to wind the key.

“I only mean—” Ben started again.

“I know what you mean.” Jason reached out as if to touch Ben’s arm. Of course his hand drifted right through Ben to land on the plush comforter. “Would I rather be able to actually touch you? Hell, yes. But it doesn’t make what we did any less valid.” He shrugged. Considered. Found himself smiling as he remembered how good it had been. “In fact, I’ll happily show you how valid I think it was, whenever you want to try it again.”

Ben’s perfect lips slowly spread into a smile. “You’d really want to?”

“Are you kidding? Jesus, I’d suggest we do it right now if I thought you had the energy.”

Ben’s eyes drifted to the window as he pondered. “It was hard to stay with you while I, you know . . . finished. It was hard to keep my concentration in both places. But back when I was first in the globe, it was hard to project at all. The more I did it, the easier it became.”

“So you’re saying you need more practice?”

Ben laughed, although his image wavered as he did. “I guess that’s what I’m saying, yeah.”

“That’s fantastic. I’d like to offer my enthusiastic support in that endeavor.”

“That’s awfully generous of you.”

“I’m a generous guy.”

Ben’s laugh subsided, and he leaned closer, as if to kiss Jason. “I have to go. I’m barely hanging on here.”

“Come back when you’re strong enough.”

“I will.”

He dimmed. Flickered. Flared back into view suddenly, his eyes somehow brighter than the rest of him. “I’m glad, too, that it happened with you.”

He reached out as if to take Jason’s hand, but disappeared before he could.

Jason fell back onto the bed, feeling both elated and heartbroken. Feeling lost, yet found. Sure in a new and delightful way that nothing in his life would ever be the same. That he’d turned some dark corner only to stumble onto a bright new path.

A path full of mystery.

Full of laughter and light.

Full of . . .

Full of Ben.

Jason missed him already.