“This doesn’t seem weird to you?” Dagny asked, predictably skeptical, but that didn’t mean she was wrong. The four of us—Dagny, Pan, Elof, and myself—were crowded into my little hotel room, taking turns interpreting the note I’d been sent.
After I’d read the note, I’d done research online and written out my questions for Indu. Before I’d finished, I’d heard Dagny, Pan, and Elof talking in the hall on their way to their own rooms, and I’d called them into my room to help make sense of this.
“Of course it seems weird to me,” I said. I stood in front of the window, the thick drapes open to let in the bright early-twilight sun. “But every part of this seems weird.”
Pan was the one holding the note now, rereading the slip of paper over and over again before finally asking, “What if it’s a trap?”
“It might be.” Elof sat on the end of my bed, next to Dagny. His expression was almost eerily placid, while hers was scrunched up as she tried to solve a puzzle when she didn’t have nearly enough pieces.
“That’s not very comforting, Elof,” Pan said with a disapproving look.
“It’s not meant to be,” Elof replied with a shrug. “I don’t know this Indu Mattison. Ulla knows the most about him, and she doesn’t seem to trust him that much.” He paused long enough for me to scoff in agreement. “And the stories I’ve heard about the Älvolk don’t instill a lot of confidence in me either.”
“So, what should we do?” Dagny asked.
“I want to go,” I answered when Elof didn’t, then I corrected myself with more conviction. “I have to.”
Without hesitation, Pan said, “If you go, I’ll go. I won’t let you do this alone.”
“I can handle it,” I told him, even if I couldn’t be sure that was true.
“It doesn’t matter if you can or you can’t.” He looked at me, his dark eyes solemn. “I started this journey with you. I want to finish it with you.”
“And I want to see what the Älvolk are up to in the First City,” Elof said, and I lowered my eyes, breaking the intense look with Pan.
“So we’re all going,” Dagny decided, then stood up and took the note from Pan. “Whether it’s a trap or not.”
I was summoned back home on an urgent matter, and the travel is so long, I will not be back to Isarna to meet you as we planned.
If you can begin the journey yourself, there is a place we can meet on Lake Sodalen. It’s northwest of Kiruna, near the mountain station. The road ends, and you’ll have to travel by foot. Humans run a quiet, discreet restaurant on the lake, Norra av Nord. I will be there at 1700 h tomorrow. If you wish to go to Áibmoráigi and find out more about yourself and our destiny, meet me then.
I hope to see you. But if not, I want you to know that I am glad to have met you, and that I am happy to have a strong, beautiful daughter like you.
Yours,
Indu
“So we leave in the morning, very early if we hope to make it on time.” Elof stood up. “We should all get some rest. Tomorrow will be a very long day.”
Elof and Dagny left, Dagny already muttering to herself about figuring out the quickest way to go. Pan stayed behind, and when the door had shut behind them, he turned to me.
“You okay?”
I rolled my eyes and a bitter smile stung my lips. “You keep asking that.”
He took a step closer to me but seemed to change his mind. He looked past me, squinting in the sunlight, and chewed the inside of his cheek. “You don’t mind that I’m going tomorrow?”
“I don’t want you getting hurt,” I admitted.
He smiled crookedly. “I don’t want you getting hurt either.”
“So we’re even, then.”
“It seems that way.” Slowly, almost hesitantly, he walked over and leaned against the wall beside me. “I don’t trust him, Ulla.”
“Indu?” I asked, and he nodded.
“He might be your father, but you need to be safe around him,” he said emphatically. “There’s something really off about him.”
“I’m not letting my guard down,” I promised him.
“Good.” He smiled again, this time a soft, subtle one that barely played on his full lips. “I should let you go and get some sleep,” he said, but it sounded more like a question.
“It’s probably going to be a while before I fall asleep. You can stay if you want.”
“How were you planning to pass the time?”
“Anxious pacing, obsessive worrying, scrounging up what passes for room service out here.”
“That all sounds good,” he said with a laugh. He paused before he went on, a light smile still on his lips but his smoldering gaze had locked onto mine. “But may I make a suggestion?”
“Go for it.”
“How about…” He trailed off, his eyes flicking down to my mouth, and he leaned in closer to me, tentatively, giving me time to pull away if I wanted, but I didn’t pull away, and my breath had gone shallow.
I closed my eyes when I felt his lips brush against mine, gentle at first, but then more fervently, his tongue parting my lips. Heat rushed through me, coming from deep in my belly, where the butterflies swirled warmly.
Then he stopped, his eyes searching mine, and the way the sunlight hit him then—his eager bedroom eyes glimmering hopefully, and the nervous smile that twitched on his mouth—he was so handsome.
His breath was heavy and his voice husky when he asked, “Or is that not okay?”
“No, that’s…” I trailed off, overwhelmed by how badly I wanted to kiss him again. “I want to do more of that.”
So I kissed him, and I felt his restraint crumble. His hand was on my side, pressing into the soft flesh beneath my shirt, and he pushed me against the window. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him deeply.
I was so focused on him—on my fingers in his hair, his mouth on mine, and his hands roaming all over—that I didn’t notice my feet slipping on the floor, not until it was too late, but Pan caught me with ease.
I laughed—giggled nervously. “Maybe we should try the bed.”
“Beds are always better,” he agreed.
With an arm around my waist, he stepped backward, and then we tumbled back onto the bed. He knelt on it and pulled off his flannel shirt, so he was down to a white tank top that wonderfully showed off his firm biceps. I decided to do the same—pulling off my shirt so I was left in my pink bralette.
Then we were kissing again, and I wrapped my arms around him. His hand went to the thin fabric covering my breasts, and it was slipping off them when I heard the door creak open.
“Hey, so I talked it over with Elof, and—” Dagny was saying as she sauntered into my room, while Pan sat up and I scrambled to pull on my shirt. “Oh!” Her eyes widened, then she turned slightly to the side and used one of her hands to partially shield her eyes. “Is this happening now? For real?”
“No, it’s not—” Pan began, then he grimaced and shook his head.
“It wasn’t…” I’d gotten my shirt on, which did little to help the burning in my cheeks. “What are you doing in here?”
Dagny peeked around her hand, and we must’ve been dressed enough—Pan was slowly buttoning his flannel shirt up again—because she turned back to face us. “You left the door unlocked.”
“Well, you left the door unlocked, since you’re the one who left,” I countered. “So that’s on you, really. All of this is.”
“Was I interrupting?” She stepped back toward the door. “Do you want me to come back later?”
“Clearly, you were interrupting, but you’re here, so … Why are you here?”
“Just letting you know that we booked transport for the last leg of the trip,” she explained. “Elof wasn’t sure if he could handle all that hiking, so we got a couple guys to drive us out on their Polaris UTVs to Norra av Nord. That cuts the time in our trip by a lot, so we can leave a couple hours later. So, good news, you two have more time to—”
“Dagny…” I protested.
She waved me off. “Oh, please. It’s only weird if you make it weird. You’re grown up, you’re nice, have fun.”
“Thank you for your awkward blessing,” I told her, but I still didn’t feel comfortable meeting her eyes.
“I’ll leave you guys be.” She headed toward the door, and back over her shoulder she said, “If I need anything else, I’ll be sure to knock.”
“Thanks. That’s generally a really great policy!” I called after her.
“Don’t stay up too late,” she said and closed the door behind her.
I looked back at Pan with a sheepish smile. “So…”
“So.” He’d been standing beside the bed since Dagny burst in, but he climbed back on and leaned over me. He brushed back my hair from my face, letting his thumb trail across my cheek, and he kissed me gently. He stopped, but he caressed my face a moment longer before saying, “I should head back to my room.”
“Yeah? Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” I asked hopefully. “A bit longer.”
“I do. I really do.” He straightened up and let his hand fall to his side. “But the next few days are going to be long and stressful, and I don’t want us to rush into anything and then have it all blow up because we’re overwhelmed and far from home.”
I swallowed the uncomfortable lump in my throat. “Those are perfectly reasonable reasons.”
“I am taking a page from your playbook back in Fulaträsk.”
“That’s why your argument sounded so succinct and smart,” I teased.
“Yeah. That’s why.”
I pulled at a loose thread on the hem of my shirt, which suddenly seemed very important. “But this is just a … pause, right?”
“Oh, yeah, this is definitely just a pause until we get back,” he agreed immediately.
“Until we get back,” I echoed.
“Ulla,” he said, so I’d look back up at him again, and when I did, he kissed me—softer, sweeter than before. “I mean it. But I gotta go now.” He stood up. “Good night, Ulla.”
“’Night, Pan.”