You may be surprised to learn this, but what fell from the vent in Stick Cat’s apartment was not, in fact, an elephant’s trunk.
It was a rope. A long, thick, gray rope. It uncoiled and flopped and settled to the floor.
Edith asked, “Why would an elephant carry a rope with it?”
“Umm, I don’t—” Stick Cat began to say.
“It’s tough being right all the time,” Edith interrupted. She was, apparently, still convinced there was an elephant up there. “But I don’t understand why it would drag a rope with it.”
“Umm—”
“Maybe it likes to play jump rope,” Edith said quickly, coming up with her own theory before Stick Cat could even answer. “You know, to stay in shape.”
Stick Cat tried to think of a response. “Umm.”
Something happened just then that would disprove Edith’s elephant theory.
A pair of shoes emerged from the vent—and a pair of pants after that.
“It’s a person,” Stick Cat whispered.
“It’s probably the elephant trainer,” Edith whispered back.
Despite being so curious—and so alarmed—about what was occurring, Stick Cat had to turn to Edith to see if she was, indeed, serious.
She was.
Edith saw the doubt on Stick Cat’s face. As further explanation, she added, “The trainer probably uses the rope as a leash. You know, when the elephant isn’t playing jump rope, I mean.”
“Maybe so,” Stick Cat said slowly. “But I think it might just be a man with a rope. And, you know, no elephant at all.”
“So, you’re saying a rope, but no elephant?”
“I think so.”
“So, I’m half right,” Edith said. She seemed to take some comfort in this idea. “Right about the rope, but possibly wrong about the elephant.”
“Half right?” Stick Cat asked. “Uh, sure.”
“Well, half right is better than half wrong.”
Despite the danger of his home being invaded, Stick Cat had to smile. Only Edith, he figured, could think of her theory in this way. He said, “Yes. It is.”
When Stick Cat turned back, a full-grown man had emerged from the vent. He leaned back, allowed the rope to support his weight, and stepped slowly down the wall. It took less than fifteen seconds for him to reach the floor.
He looked quite normal to Stick Cat—except for two things. First, he wore a black mask that covered his eyes and the bridge of his nose. Second, a leather satchel hung from his belt.
The masked man turned his head slowly left and right, examining the room quickly.
The man reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a second bag. This one was much smaller and made of plastic. He crouched down into a squatting position and then said an astonishing thing. It was astonishing to Stick Cat anyway.
“Here, kitty, kitty,” he called. “Here, kitty. I know you’re in here. I heard you from the vent. I think there might even be two of you.”
Edith began to step out from behind the couch, but Stick Cat stopped her.
“No, Edith,” was all he said.
“Why not?”
“Are you serious? He snuck into my house!” answered Stick Cat.
“You have trust issues, Stick Cat,” Edith said.
Stick Cat was about to say something, but the man did something before he could speak. He opened the plastic bag—and a scent flowed from it into the room.
“I have treats for you,” the man called.
“He has treats, Stick Cat!” Edith said. “Can you smell that? It smells like fish. Let’s go get some!”
“No,” answered Stick Cat simply.
The man took something from the bag. He pinched it between his pointer finger and thumb and held it suspended in the air in front of him.
He looked in their direction now. “I heard you meowing. I always carry something special with me just in case I meet a cute little kitty,” he said, and pushed his hand in their direction. “It’s tuna!”
“He thinks I’m cute!” Edith exclaimed. “And he has tuna! I LOVE tuna! Come on, let’s go!”
“No, Edith.”
Edith was frustrated. She pushed her lips together and squinted her eyes. She sniffed the air a bit. The tuna aroma continued to waft her way.
“Maybe he’s supposed to be here, Stick Cat,” she said. “Have you ever thought of that?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Well, maybe he’s a special cat-loving visitor. Maybe he visits cats all over the world—and brings them treats. And today it’s our turn.”
“Seriously?” Stick Cat asked. “You really think that?”
“It’s possible,” Edith said immediately. “Let’s go get some tuna and find out.”
Stick Cat shook his head. “If he’s so special, then why did he sneak in here through the air-conditioning vent?”
Edith contemplated this for a moment. During that moment, the aroma of tuna filled the room even more. This seemed to encourage Edith to come up with a logical explanation.
“Maybe he’s like Santa Claus,” Edith said, and opened her eyes wide. “That explains it! Like Santa Claus comes through chimneys, this guy comes through air-conditioning vents!”
“I don’t think so.”
“And he has a costume—just like Santa,” Edith added. Now that she had come up with a theory, she believed in it wholeheartedly. “See the mask? That’s his costume. What do you say we get some tuna? Hunh? Hunh?”
“I think it’s more like a disguise than a costume.”
“Costume, disguise, whatever,” Edith said. She nudged her way past Stick Cat a bit. “Let’s discuss this over a tuna snack. What do you say?”
“You really think this man is Santa Claus?”
“Well, not Santa specifically,” Edith said. She seemed to be pleading her case. She really, really, really wanted some tuna—that was totally obvious. “He probably has a different name.”
“Like what?” Stick Cat asked.
“I don’t know,” Edith said. All of Stick Cat’s questions were bugging her. “Maybe it’s Todd.”
“Todd?”
“Sure, why not? Todd. Tuna Todd.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Stick Cat said. “You think ‘Todd’—”
“Tuna Todd,” Edith corrected.
“Right, yeah. Tuna Todd,” Stick Cat said, and continued. “You think Tuna Todd here is a hero of sorts. A guy who climbs through pipes all over the big city to pass out treats to cats?”
“A hero of some sort, that’s for sure,” Edith said, and nodded. “Sounds even more plausible when you add it all up, doesn’t it?”
“No.”
“Maybe a little tuna snack would help you get your mind around the idea.”
“No,” Stick Cat declared. “We stay put. Right here.”
The masked man stood up—but not before placing the little chunk of tuna on a corner of the vent grate lying on the carpet.
“Suit yourself, little kitties,” he said. “I can see you both back there. I’ll leave this here for now. I’m just going to have a quick look around.”
The masked man then opened the drawer of a table against the wall. Stick Cat knew exactly what was in there. It was one of his favorite playthings.
And Tuna Todd was going to take it.