The day the doctor deemed Matty healed enough to stop physical therapy entirely, he stood outside the clinic doors waiting and hoping that he’d chosen the right side of the building by which to loiter.
If Rob was going to take the subway to Brooklyn, he’d exit this side for sure. But what if Rob wasn’t going home straight away? What if he was meeting up with Anja and Ben somewhere? Or his boyfriend? Matty needed to talk to Rob before he had a chance to get the news from anyone else, and he needed to tell him how he felt.
Matty pushed up his sunglasses on his nose and noticed some paparazzi taking photos of him as he leaned against the clinic building. Good to know that a fresh retirement announcement was enough to make him fodder for the gossip columns. Head high and fabulous scarf around his neck, he breathed slowly, letting the energy of the city writhe around him as he pulled strength from it.
“Matty, what are you doing out here?”
Matty pushed off from the wall and breathlessly gazed at Rob for a moment before blurting out, “I don’t want to be friends.”
Rob’s lips quirked, but he said nothing. He looked amused, which infuriated Matty, whose heart was hammering so hard his hand was pressed to his chest to help hold it in. He hadn’t been this nervous since the Olympics. He thought he might puke.
Rob cleared his throat. “You want my bad romance?”
Matty punched him lightly in the chest. “Shut up.” Matty wanted to smile, but he couldn’t. He was shaking so hard he didn’t think he could fake his way out of it. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Come on, Matty, there’s no way you don’t like Gaga.”
Matty stared at him, the urge to smile vanished. “I’m being serious and you’re making a joke out of this?”
“I’m not making a joke out of whatever you’re trying to say, swee—Matty.” He shifted his bag on his shoulder and leaned against the building. “You don’t want to be friends with me. I can deal with that. Being around each other was probably a bad idea to begin with. But it was your idea, not mine.”
Matty narrowed his eyes. Rob was purposely misinterpreting him. He supposed it was a kind thing to do, rather than humiliate him with a reminder of his boyfriend, but Matty was putting it all out and Rob was going to have to acknowledge it. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
Rob shrugged and nodded. He leaned his head up and squinted into the sun as it slotted through the tall buildings. “Listen, Matty, you know that…” Rob trailed off and glanced across the street at the paparazzi. He frowned. “Do they follow you everywhere now?”
“Ha! No. I’m not that amazing. Though for some reason I get more press than Hank Babikov.”
Rob looked like he was going to say something else but thought better of it. Instead, he said, “I was headed home.”
He took a step, and Matty grabbed hold of his arm. “Please, Rob, don’t go. Talk to me. Say something. Anything at all. Just don’t walk away now.”
“Matty—”
His heart pounded. “Do you miss Montana?”
Rob was silent for a long time. He studied his shoes like they held the answer to whether or not he should reply. He shifted slightly and then met Matty’s eye, but he said nothing.
Matty’s throat went tight and he whispered, “I miss it. A lot. Tell me you do too.”
Rob hadn’t changed that much had he? He wasn’t citified yet. Matty could see his roots in his every step and hear them in every word. Montana would always hold a place in Rob’s heart.
Finally, Rob licked his lips. “Sure.”
“So many times I was about to give up and I’d remember something you said or something we did, and I found the strength to keep going.”
Rob put his hands in his pockets and gazed at Matty from under his lashes, a flush on the top of his cheekbones.
“Please. Say something, Rob.”
After a long moment, Rob said, “You can’t see the stars in the city at night. I used to look up in Montana, see the North Star, and I’d remember. Can’t see it much now. But I still remember.”
“Me too.”
Matty reached out, his hand coming close to Rob’s face, but Rob grabbed his fingers and gently lowered his hand.
“Don’t want to give the tabloids dirt for their gossip columns,” Rob whispered.
“Of course I do,” Matty said, but he felt too vulnerable, too hopeful and needy to sound half as pompous as he knew he should.
Rob sighed. “Are you coming to my place?”
“Your place?”
“So we can finally talk in private.”
Matty wanted to say yes. He was dying to know where Rob lived—if only so he could stalk the address when Rob rejected him for his buck-toothed, blond, ugly boyfriend. Speaking of…
“Will your boyfriend be there?”
“Oh, my boyfriend.” Rob waved his hand dismissively. “His name is Physical Therapy, and he’s not nearly so demanding as Figure Skating. He has a regular schedule that’s easy to plan around. Nine to five—what a way to make a living. Three weeks vacation, and a retirement plan. He’s pretty cool. I’m in love with him.”
Matty blinked. “You mean—I’ve been—oh my God. I hate you.”
Rob chuckled softly, but there was sadness under it. “I don’t think you hate me at all.”
“No…no, I don’t think I ever could.”
Rob glanced over toward the paparazzi again. “Are you coming to my place? Or do I need to pick you up and carry you there?”
Joy, raw and unexpected, leapt in Matty’s heart. “Carry me. Give the photographers something fantastic to print about me in their ridiculous paper.”
Rob laughed and swooped him up into his arms. Matty had only just caught a whiff of Rob’s familiar scent when Rob promptly set him down again. “Apparently, I need to work out more often.”
“I ate some pizza. And some cake,” Matty confessed. “There was an apple pie once. And steak. Several hamburgers. More than one bag of frozen french fries. Actual ice cream for dessert. Doughnuts.”
Rob grinned. “Good for you.”
“I blame the steroid injections and pills the doctors gave me for my hip. They made me so hungry.”
“That’s what they’re supposed to do, so you’ll eat and have fuel to heal.”
“Now I’m fatter than ever and—”
“Shh,” Rob said. “Your body is amazing.”
“Amazing isn’t good enough.”
Rob’s eyes flickered with recognition, and he bit his lip. He squinted up at the sun again. “We can talk more easily at my place,” Rob said. “Come on.” He tugged Matty toward the subway.
Rob’s apartment was on the ground floor of a Brooklyn townhouse. It had a single bedroom and a small bathroom, a combined kitchen and sitting area featuring a fold-out sofa for Ben. There was also a tiny patio with a small garden in the back.
The apartment was clean and well-appointed, though there were almost no items from the house in Montana, as far as Matty could tell. Everything was new except for a few knick-knacks of sentimental value, the photo of Matty and Ben, which hung on a wall underneath a photo of Ben and Anja, and Rob’s bed, which Matty saw as they passed through the bedroom on their way out to the patio.
“So,” Rob said, sitting down in a lawn chair. It was plastic and bucket-seated, like the kind Matty’s mom had kept around for backyard barbeques when he was a kid. He had a bottle of wine in one hand and two brightly colored plastic wine glasses in the other. “I know it’s not much. Not like the ranch. But it’s home.”
“It’s nice. Much bigger than my tiny apartment,” Matty said, perching on the more solid wooden chair that Rob indicated for him. “I never imagined you’d fit in here, but look at you. You really do.”
Rob handed him one of the plastic wine glasses filled halfway with a Pinot noir. “I’m pretty sure it’s not very New York to serve wine in these, but screw it. They work.” Rob studied his—a turquoise green. “They were a moving gift from Bill and Angus. I think Angus picked them out.”
“They’re still together?”
“Married.”
Matty gasped happily. “No way.”
“Well, not legally—not yet—Montana is behind the times on that front, but they stood up in front of everyone and said words, exchanged rings, and bought a new house together.”
“When I left, Bill wouldn’t even admit he loved him.”
“His vows were hilarious. He said, ‘By now, everyone here knows I like you some.’”
Matty laughed and took a very unladylike gulp of wine, overwhelmed with nervous excitement and happiness to be sitting and talking with Rob again.
“Then he said, ‘I guess I promise to keep on liking you until I die. Seems probable that I will anyway.’”
Matty could barely catch his breath, wiping at his eyes as he laughed.
Rob gazed fondly at his wine glass. “Man, I miss him. I need to call him. It’s been a month or so.” He met Matty’s gaze. “After you started coming to the clinic, I didn’t dare call him. I knew what he’d say and I didn’t want him to be right.”
Matty’s heart skipped a beat. “What would he have been right about?”
“That I shouldn’t let you keep coming to see me. That you’d get the wrong idea. Or he’d suggest that I should definitely give you the wrong idea, because it was actually the right idea. Or something like that.”
“Was it the right idea?”
“I don’t know.” Rob looked troubled.
Matty took another sip of wine and let it slide over his tongue. Suddenly he remembered something else Rob hadn’t brought from Montana. “I guess Lila didn’t make the trip?” Matty asked, a little tentatively, knowing the answer. She hadn’t been well when they were together. He was sure she was long gone now.
“She didn’t even make the next year. She was gone about three months after you left.”
Matty felt somehow responsible, as though if only he’d stayed then Lila would have stuck around. “I’m sorry.”
Rob snorted. “Control freak. She would have died anyway. And last time I checked, you are a very good figure skater, not the messiah.”
“I was the messiah once when I was sixteen for an Easter show in Russia. It was loosely based on Jesus Christ Superstar, and they made me skate around with a cross on my back. It was very weird, and it wasn’t a good look on me.”
“You can say that again. I remember when I first saw those online,” Rob laughed. “It’s kind of horrifying that those photos will always be in the public domain. Do you suffer nightmares from it? Dreams that you’re back in school for some reason and you look down to find yourself in front of the class in that awful costume?”
Matty laughed again. It wasn’t even that funny, but he was shot through with nerves and it broke the tension. After all, he knew things had changed, but he didn’t want this, this thing between them, to be one of them.
“I missed you,” Rob said, thoughtfully. “I missed hearing you laugh.”
Matty swallowed hard and took another steadying sip of the wine. He wasn’t sure he was ready for this part of the conversation. This was the part where anything could happen. It had been so good so far. Matty didn’t want whatever Rob had to say next to destroy the beautiful, buoyant hope that was growing in his heart.
“You know, it pretty much destroyed me when you left,” Rob said, his eyes focused on the garden. “I could barely get out of bed for a week after you were gone. I’d say it took me a couple of months to get it together even a little bit. Bing, Bill, Anja—even Ben—were pretty damn worried about me. Eventually I realized that, aside from Ben, I had nothing to lose after I lost you. When Bing asked about buying the ranch, I sold it to him and I started to build a new life.”
Rob smiled with a sad, sweet look in his eyes. “In that way, leaving me like you did was a good thing. It shook me up hard. Bing said it nearly killed me, but in the end, I got a better life than the one I had before. Phoenix from the flame, as some would say.”
Matty put his hand on Rob’s knee as if he could absorb the pain from Rob’s past and take away anything he’d ever suffered on Matty’s account.
“I’m happier now, though sometimes I miss the open spaces. Even the damn cattle. But all in all, this is a better life for me. And I wouldn’t miss Ben growing up for the world. So it’s all good.”
“I’m glad.” Matty’s voice was gruff, and he cleared his throat softly. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
Rob didn’t respond to that. Instead he said, “I dated around a little when I first got here. It was surprisingly easy to find men who wanted a dominant top.”
Matty took his hand away and clenched his teeth as a shot of jealousy struck him to the quick. As always, he couldn’t bear to think of Rob taking anyone but him to such raw, vulnerable places.
“Though there was no one that meant anything.”
“Me too,” Matty said. “I mean, there was no one that meant anything. There was pretty much no one at all, except Julien, but…he’s just a friend. It was a weird, fucked-up friendship thing. Julien was empathetic, and I had just found out about that guy you were dating in Montana—”
“You don’t have to confess anything to me, Matty. Frankly, I don’t want to think about it. But I’m confused—what guy that I was dating in Montana? I didn’t date anyone in Montana.”
“Blond, messed up teeth. He was in the photo Ben sent me. His first medal at some summer competition?”
Rob’s laughter was warm and deep, rumbling inside his body, and Matty wanted to press himself against Rob’s chest to feel it on his skin.
“Barry? You thought I was dating Barry? He’ll get a kick out of that.”
Matty waited for the punch line, for the reason the jealousy he’d endured was so funny, but Rob just shook his head, still laughing, and took a sip of his wine.
“What? He’s small, effeminate, and aside from his teeth, he is exactly your type.”
“What do you know about my type? I’ve dated all kinds of men. I’ll have you know that you’re the first and only guy I’ve dated who regularly wears make-up, and—” Rob motioned at Matty’s Chanel sweater “—women’s clothing. Not that I have a problem with it. It’s just that, in general, I date guys who aren’t Matty Marcus.”
“In general. But there are exceptions.”
“Once there was an exception, yes. Just once. Matty Marcuses are hard to come by.” Rob smiled fondly. “Anyway, Barry was one of Ben’s coaches, and he’s very much taken…by an incredibly beautiful woman, sweetheart.”
Matty’s stomach fluttered. He sat down his wine glass on the patio, and he leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his heart in his throat. “For fuck’s sake, when are you going to kiss me?”
Rob’s gaze moved from Matty’s eyes to his lips and lingered there. Then he stared down at his wine glass. When Rob cleared his throat, Matty’s stomach twisted. He tried so hard to keep his face from showing how he was feeling, knowing that he completely failed.
“I hadn’t planned on kissing you, actually.”
“But why not?”
Rob’s lips twisted, and for the first time he looked as if he was losing his composure. “Don’t you think I know exactly what’s going on with you right now? I watched the Olympics, Matty, and I saw the outcome of Worlds. As you might imagine, given what I sacrificed for it, I’ve been kind of invested in your career.” His voice lowered to a tight whisper. “I know exactly what’s going on with you.”
Matty didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to him before, but it suddenly hit him. Rob had seen him fail. There was a rush of adrenaline in his veins, a tight feeling of panic in his chest, and a hot splash of raw, awful humiliation.
Of course he had. Of course he’d watched—even if he hadn’t cared for Matty, he’d have watched with Ben, for Ben, and he saw it all. He’d seen Matty’s joy when he thought he’d flown and he’d witnessed his crushing devastation when the other skaters’ scores came in. For a moment, hateful rage flashed through Matty, and then it faded into the dull, ever-present ache in his chest, the one he hadn’t found a way to fully cope with yet.
Why would Rob want him? He was a pain in the ass, selfish, ego-maniacal, and he didn’t even have an Olympic medal to show for it.
Rob went on, “You’re hurt, you’re angry, and you’re injured. I don’t want to be your rebound relationship, Matty. I also really don’t want to be the person you use to punish yourself for what happened.”
“I don’t want that.” Matty’s voice was barely audible even to himself. He wasn’t sure Rob heard.
“I let you believe I had a boyfriend. I told myself that if I put that barrier between us, if I kept you at a distance, then I could pretend you were just a patient. Just an old friend. But that’s not the reality. I should never have let you stay on with me. I should have made you go back to your old clinic. But…I couldn’t. I wanted to be near you.”
“I’m so glad you didn’t. I want to be near you too. I’ve never stopped loving you, Rob. I’d never use you.” Rob’s eyebrows went up in a challenge and Matty sucked in a breath. “Please don’t tell me that’s how you see our time together in Montana?” He felt as though he would be crushed under a great weight if Rob said he did.
“No. Of course not. It’s just…last time…Matty, I can’t do that again. When you left—”
Matty fell to his knees and took Rob’s free hand in both of his own. “Me too. I swear. When I left, I didn’t handle it well. Valentina is the only reason I made it. She kept me focused. She’s the only reason I even got on the Olympic team at all.”
Rob put his wine down and took Matty’s chin in his hand. “Matty, Valentina didn’t get you to the Olympics. You did that.”
“And I failed.”
Rob released his chin. “You were amazing. Your performance was stunning. It was so beautiful that it broke my heart.”
“But amazing isn’t always enough.”
Rob swallowed hard and whispered, “Exactly.”
Matty gazed up at Rob, watching his eyes shift through emotions, seeing things there that he’d missed before—vulnerability, fear, and boundless affection. “Kiss me.”
Rob’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “Are you bossing me around?”
“Yeah.” Matty shifted up and put his mouth within striking distance. “Maybe it won’t be the same. Maybe we’ll kiss and—”
Rob’s mouth tasted of wine, and it was so right—so perfect and slick. Matty grasped Rob’s shirt and clung. He felt as though he were tumbling, falling through space and time, and it was everything he needed. Matty caught Rob’s noises, and fed them back to him, and the kiss went on and on, hands grappling. Rob lifted Matty from the ground onto his lap, and it was fucking perfect.
“Shh,” Rob said, pulling away, pressing his hand to Matty’s lips to prevent Matty from leaning in to begin the kiss again. “This needs to stop right now.”
“Why?” Matty panted.
“Because,” Rob said, pushing Matty from his lap and standing. “I don’t want it.”
Matty felt punched in the gut. The kiss had been so passionate. The rush had been so real. He’d felt so much between them in those moments. How could he have been wrong?
“You don’t want it,” Matty repeated back slowly. His legs quivered.
“No, I don’t.” Rob closed his eyes and wiped his hand over his mouth. “It’s too much.”
Matty sucked in a breath. He was too much. He was always over the top, always too flamboyant for judges—too gay for figure skating for God’s sake—and now he was too much for Rob?
“I’m sorry,” Rob said, pacing the length of the patio. “I shouldn’t have let you get close to me again. I shouldn’t have invited you here and I should’ve stopped you when I realized what you were doing.”
“And what am I doing?”
“Trying to start something with me again.”
“Obviously. But when did you know that, Rob? Have you been just toying with me?”
Rob rubbed a hand over his hair. “I knew when you came back after I told you to go. I should’ve refused you. I should have told them to reschedule you with someone else.”
“But you didn’t. Part of you must have wanted—”
“Yes, of course I wanted.” He looked at Matty with wild eyes, his hands shaking. Matty had never seen him lose control of his body that way. “I still want you, Matty.”
“But you just said you didn’t want me.”
Rob laughed bitterly, his face contorting with pain. “Don’t be a brat. Hell, you know I’m attracted to you. I have feelings for you. But I don’t want it.”
Matty rushed over and clung to Rob’s forearms. Rob didn’t push him away. “What does that mean? I don’t understand.”
“I can’t start any kind of relationship with you. Got it?”
“No! I really don’t.”
“The last time, Matty, I was a disaster. It was like you were a drug and when you left I was alone for a pretty harrowing detox. I said I was a mess earlier, but it was so much worse.”
“I’m sorry. I never wanted that.”
“I know you didn’t, but I can’t go through it again.”
“You wouldn’t have to! You’re here now and I’m here now. We can be together.”
“We can’t, Matty. You’re still committed to something else.”
“Are you saying I can’t have you and my career?”
“I’m saying you can’t have me and compete. Not because I don’t want you to win, or because I don’t believe in you, or because I’m too selfish to let you do what you love, but because I can’t watch you starve yourself, bruise yourself, and break yourself for a something that is never going to reward you for your pain, Matty. Do you have any idea how it hurts to watch you give your entire self to something that isn’t me, and then watch that thing kick you in the nuts? It doesn’t even hold you afterward and tell you that you did a good job. It just hurts you and then hurts you some more.”
“That’s how sports work. Unless you’re four, not everyone gets a trophy. And if that was how it worked, I wouldn’t want one. I want to be the best.”
“I know, and I want you to have what you want, I truly do, but I need someone whose dream lines up with reality.”
Denial flared in Matty. He wanted to bring up every skater who had medaled at an older age, and every skater who had somehow carried on a relationship, too, but he knew it was so much more than that. Those people weren’t Matty Marcus—they didn’t have his build, his past injuries, or his broken heart. And they certainly hadn’t sent out a retirement announcement to the press that afternoon.
Rob was talking on, looking up at the sky, and Matty studied the underside of his chin as the words rolled out of him in a kind of purge.
“I need to know that whoever I’m with is in it for the long haul, and that he’s not going to take off across the country or around the world chasing a coach, or some self-abusive dream. I always supported your choices, but you take it too far and break yourself in the process. I’m going to be honest. Skating isn’t good for you. You might love it, but it doesn’t love you. It hurts you, it breaks your body, your heart, and your soul, and it makes you miserable. I can’t watch that. I especially can’t watch you give it everything you have, and then—”
“Shh,” Matty said, stroking his hands up and down Rob’s trembling arms. “I know, I know.”
“I’m selfish. Fine. I’ll admit that. I’m listening to myself right now and all signs point to me being a controlling dickwad.”
“No.”
“I want to pretend I’m not, but I am. I can’t watch someone I care about do that to themselves. Not when I’m not in charge of the outcome and I can’t control if you’re rewarded or not.”
Matty had never heard Rob talk so much, and it was amazing and terrifying. He made soft noises, hoping to keep Rob going. He needed to hear all of it so he could know Rob’s darkest hesitations. That way he could fight them.
“I’m already scared for Ben. I see how hard he tries, but somehow it’s different for him than it is for you. He’s macho and the judges like him. I don’t understand it and it’s not fair, but it’s there all the same. I already know he’s going to have it easier than you, but I’m still scared for him. He loves it, but he doesn’t love it like you do. He’s competitive but he doesn’t break himself trying to win. I have hope for him, but it’s still so much pressure for a kid of his age.”
“I understand,” Matty soothed.
Rob jerked his head in a nod, and seemed to try to force himself back together. “Good. Then I think we need to just end this.”
“But it doesn’t have to be this way.”
“It does. I’m not a masochist, Matty. I don’t like to hurt. Last time, I wasn’t the only one in pain. Ben was hurt when you left too.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are, and so am I.” Rob closed his eyes. “I was as much to blame for it as you.”
“But now—”
“Matty, please, I can’t just do it again.”
“You won’t have to. I promise.”
Rob opened his eyes, and they glistened. “You won’t give up skating. Ben said you told his coach—”
“It was all bravado. You know how I am. Rob, I promise you now—right here and right now—I’m through.”
“Since when?”
“Since I realized I want more from my life than some medals as passing proof that I was once spectacularly good at something. I want to be spectacularly good at living my life. I want to be good for you.” Matty squeezed Rob’s hand. “I mean that in so many ways, Rob. I want to be good for you, and I want to be good because of you. I want to show you how good I can be. I want to make your life good because of me.”
“Stop. You won’t actually quit. You don’t mean this.”
“I mean every word.”
“You’re really done?”
“I really am. I’m kicking my boyfriend Figure Skating to the curb.”
Rob made a soft sound and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “So what now? I can’t just throw you on the bed and do the things I want to do with you.”
“Why the fuck not?” Matty demanded.
“Because I’m still in love with you and I’m scared. Christ, is that what you wanted to hear?”
Matty breathed out long and slow, a purr of a reply on his lips. “Oooh, oooh, yes, that is exactly what I wanted to hear. Exactly.”
The kiss was rough, almost angry, and Matty submitted to it, letting Rob lift and carry him inside.
By the bed, Rob put him down and tore at Matty’s sweater and tight-fitting jeans. “You better not be fucking with me, Matty.”
“I’m not. I’m absolutely not, and be careful! This sweater is really expen—oh, my God…fuck…”
Rob’s mouth was hot on his neck as he yanked him close. His hands grabbed at Matty’s back and ass, roughly moving up to cup the back of his head as they kissed and fought together to get Matty’s clothes off.
Naked, Matty fell to his knees, ripping off Rob’s shoes and then scrabbling at the fastenings of Rob’s jeans, pulling them down as Rob tossed his own sweater aside. He’d just grabbed hold of the waistband of Rob’s underwear when Rob gripped his hands. He stared down at Matty, his chest heaving and his cock pushing hard against his boxer-briefs. His eyes were raw, vulnerable, and desperate. Matty’s heart clenched. He’d never meant to hurt Rob so deeply and he needed to make him understand—he’d never hurt him like that again.
“I told Valentina I was quitting a few weeks ago, and the press release announcing my retirement went out today,” Matty whispered, licking his lips. “I swear, Rob, it’s over.”
Rob hauled him to his feet and backed him up to the bed. “You couldn’t have just told me that to begin with?”
“I didn’t know that’s what you needed to hear.”
Rob grunted, a noise between disapproval and relief, and pushed Matty back onto the soft mattress. Rob seemed to hold himself back as he stared at Matty, his eyes greedily taking in his body. “Show me,” he demanded. “I want to see you.”
Since he was completely naked, Matty wasn’t sure what else there was to see, but he planted his feet on the bed. He brought his hands down to cup his balls and grip his hard cock, the beat of his pulse rushing against his palm as he held it.
Rob’s nostrils flared and his breath quickened. “What else do you have?”
Matty licked his lips and rolled over onto his hands and knees, flexing his back to serve up his ass. With his forehead and shoulders down against the matress, he reached back with both hands to spread his ass cheeks and gently rub the pads of his fingers over his hole. He heard Rob hiss, and then the bed dipped.
Kneeling beside him, Rob grabbed Matty’s arms around the wrists and held them crossed at Matty’s back in one hand. Matty panted into the fresh-smelling duvet as Rob rubbed his free hand over Matty’s ass cheeks and dipped fingers into his crack, sliding against his asshole.
“You are such a brat. Making an appointment and coming to my office instead of calling me like a normal person,” Rob said.
Matty jerked as Rob’s hand swept down and slapped his ass hard. He grunted, rubbing his face against the duvet, as tears he’d managed to keep at bay while they talked welled in his eyes, and the sharp sting in the shape of Rob’s hand roared through him.
“Coming back after I told you not to.” Rob’s hand connected again, and Matty writhed and whimpered. It’d been so long, so damn long since he’d had this and he needed it so badly. He wanted it more than anything. He pressed back, lifting his ass for more.
“Making me miss you again and fuck, Matty, making me want you so bad.” And Rob slapped a palm roughly against his other ass cheek.
The pain burned through him, and Matty cried out.
“That’s it. Make some noise.” Rob spanked him in a rapid fire of three fast hits.
Matty struggled slightly against the grip on his wrists, but not hard enough to break free. He knew the upstairs neighbors had to be able to hear him, but he didn’t care—he just let his feelings out in cries and grunts that filled the room around him.
“Waiting for me today. Making me confess everything to you. Holding back the most important information until you’ve already got your way.”
Matty arched as Rob’s hand landed harder than before, and his thighs started to shake, his cock hard and leaking precum onto the soft duvet.
“Goddammit, Matty,” Rob whispered, and his hand fell again. “I love you and you make me crazy.”
Matty pulled his wrists free and flipped over, grabbing Rob around the neck and kissing him hard. Rob wrestled him down to the bed and Matty loved being under Rob’s heavy weight, legs around his lower back, as their cocks rutting against each other while they rocked. Rob’s mouth and hands were everywhere, and Matty couldn’t get enough of Rob’s skin. He licked and touched, smoothing his hands down Rob’s back and gripping his ass.
Rob kissed his way down Matty’s body, licking the lines of his muscles, the small scars from his hip surgery, and finally sucking Matty’s dick into his mouth.
“I’m going to come so fast,” Matty whispered, the hot suction around his dick and the burning from his freshly spanked ass combining with Rob’s touch and scent to put him right at the edge, his balls drawing tight and his toes curling as need raked through him.
Rob popped off his cock and sucked hard kisses into his thighs, making him gasp. Matty spread his legs to accommodate the sweet, wet tickle of Rob’s tongue against his asshole.
“Oh fuck,” Matty whimpered, covering his mouth with one hand, his body shaking and jerking spasmodically on the bed as Rob held his legs firmly up and out, eating Matty’s hole urgently.
“Come on. Open up for me.”
Matty shivered as Rob’s tongue forced its way past his sphincter and gripped Rob’s hair in a fist, holding him in place while he rode Rob’s stabbing tongue. He cried out when Rob pulled away and opened a side drawer beside the bed. Matty trembled and quaked, hot joy spreading through his chest and stomach as Rob drizzled lube onto his asshole.
He was here. He’d made it.
As Rob rolled on the condom and pushed Matty’s knees up, taking aim, Matty kept his eyes open, watching Rob’s face intently as he pushed against him. The look of urgency and awe in Rob’s eyes as his cock breached Matty’s hole was too much, and Matty struggled to take Rob’s thickness and his raw vulnerability at once.
“I love you,” Matty whispered.
Rob ducked down to capture Matty’s mouth in a brutal kiss as his cock forced Matty open, fucking him with strong, quick strokes.
“I love you too,” Rob muttered, his mouth barely leaving Matty’s as he spoke. Rob was unrelenting, plowing into him again and again, stroking over his prostate, and leaving him clinging to Rob’s hunching body with arms and legs.
Matty gasped for breath around Rob’s demanding kiss. “Show me,” he whispered in Rob’s ear. “Give me more. I want to see what else you have.”
Rob groaned and reared back, his hand coming up to Matty’s throat and pressing there lightly, holding Matty in place as he fucked him. Matty’s cock pulsed and thudded between them, precome sliding against their stomachs. Rob’s hand on his throat was dizzyingly good. “More,” Matty gasped.
“Three snaps.”
“Yes, my safeword,” Matty confirmed.
Rob collapsed against him, his hips rolling and digging, moving his cock hard into Matty’s body as he slid his hand up from Matty’s throat to cover his mouth and pinch off his nose. Matty convulsed, and his ass grabbed around Rob’s cock, making Rob curse and slam into him roughly.
“Come for me like this,” Rob whispered. “Come now.”
Matty tried to keep his gaze on Rob’s face, but his eyes rolled up and he shook as Rob fucked him, grinding into him. He brought up his hands to hold Rob’s in place, while his cock ached and throbbed between them.
He was so close, so close, and his lungs burned for air as he climbed like a rocket into a dark, starry night. As Rob gripped his face harder, reminding him who commanded his breath, his body, and his future, Matty came. His orgasm was an explosion—convulsing joy, love, and pleasure, cresting wonder, need, and hope—and he dug his heels into Rob’s still hunching back. He surrendered. He was safe. He was loved.
He was home.