“Hey, girl, where you goin?”
His teeth shimmered with gold. Stubble and dirt covered his sunken face. A man sitting with him whistled as his eyes looked up and down my frame.
Keep dreamin, boi.
I walked by them and the words “Twin Towers Correctional Facility” chiseled into a cement wall, towards the tall, narrow entrance of the towering, gray edifice. The hot metal of the door handle seared my palm as I tugged to pull it open. A cold gust of damp air pushed at my sun-kissed skin through the opening doorway. Inside, various vacant faces looked at me from seated positions on the floor scattered around the lobby wall. A sullen-faced woman in uniform sat at the long counter in front of me. She spoke to me in a robotic, dry tone.
“Can I help you, ma’am?”
“I’m here to post bail for Ronald Stroker.”
Her forehead wrinkled and mouth turned downward as she pushed a clipboard in front of me.
“Sign here, please, while I look that up.”
She stared at a computer screen. The sound of key clicks under her chubby fingers echoed off the walls.
“That’ll be $8,765.”
My chin dropped, causing my mouth to open.
Thank the goddess for that fat sign-on bonus Erica just gave me.
Her eyes rolled from the screen over to me.
“You were saying?”
“No, it’s just... Never mind. Make the check out to?”
“Los Angeles County Corrections.”
She picked up her phone receiver as I scribbled onto a check.
“Someone is here for Ronald Stroker.”
I handed her the check, which she took and used to wave me to the side of the counter as she stared at her computer screen.
Charming.
I turned and faced the lobby entrance. Sparse beams of light cut through the thin, tall windows and irritated the downcast eyes of those seated on the floor.
This is no place for Ron.
A little girl sat next to a sleeping adult woman. Her child-like eyes rose from the floor for a moment to look up at mine. I looked into the pools of sadness.
What brought you to this miserable place?
She reminded me of Amber. And myself. What would she become? I hoped someone kinder. Even compassionate. Less bent on destruction and revenge.
I should be here instead of Ron. There’s no justice.
A familiar voice cut through my thoughts.
“Jessica?”
My heart warmed as I turned to see Ron walking towards me.
His eyebrows raised, and his lips fell open.
“Jessica, what are you doing here? I mean, thank you, but...”
“You’re surprised to see me.”
“Yeah, that’s an understatement.”
I grinned as I looked at the bags beneath his eyes.
“You look like shit.”
He smirked as he signed for his belongings and took them from the plastic basin held out by the frowning front desk fairy. He spoke to her in his usual polite tone.
“Thanks.”
She ignored his manners and returned to whatever must be so interesting in the green text displayed on her flickering terminal. I turned to walk with him towards the exit. Through the seconds of silence that felt like years, I could almost hear wheels turning in his head.
“So, can I ask why you did this?”
I squinted into the sunlight that poured onto my face as I pushed through the doorway. As he emerged with me on the other side, I answered.
“I’ve done you enough harm, Ron. I’m overdue to do something good for you.”
He stopped just outside the door. I turned and found him grinning with head shaking.
“Umm, wow. Thank you, Jessica.”
“You’re welcome.”
We continued to walk in silence away from the overbearing facade of the prison. I couldn’t help but remember other walks alongside him. Our walk down the aisle at our wedding. Walks in our neighborhood. Walks down sandy shores on a Summer night at the beach. Walks through the local grocery.
And this walk. Maybe the last.
As we neared the sidewalk, I reached into my purse, pulled out the divorce papers, and handed them to him.
“I signed them. I’m sorry I didn’t give them to you sooner. I just wasn’t...”
My eyes fell to the ground, and I struggled to fight back a tear. His eyes stayed on me, waiting for me to finish the thought, but I couldn’t. Taking a deep breath, I cut to the chase.
“Anyway, Ron, I’m letting you go. You’re a good man. You deserve better than I’ve given you.”
I stepped close to him, avoiding eye contact, and put my arms around him. His body stiffened at first, but then melted, and he returned my embrace.
“I think better of you than I’ve shown you,” I said.
His arms softened and surrounded me.
“I know, Jessica.”
I stayed for a moment, feeling his ribs expand and contract with his breath.
I’ll never feel this again.
My lips kissed his cheek, and I stepped back from him.
“You’re free now, Ron. I hope you find a kinder partner next time.”
I turned away from him to hide the tears that formed in the corners of my eyes.
“Goodbye, Ron.”
I began walking away, steps quickening as the tears multiplied.
“Jessica, wait.”
My feet kept moving.
“Jessica!”
The sound of his steps following me tugged on my heart. Followed by his hand on my shoulder.
“Jessica, wait.”
He pulled me around and into himself. I unleashed my tears on his shoulder, and the sobs I held back spilled out of my heaving chest. His arms wrapped around me like a cocoon as he held me.
“I’m so sorry, Ron.”
He continued to hold me, steadying me from falling over my legs that turned to rubber.
“I know. I forgive you, Jessica.”
As my uncontrollable bawling slowed, I stepped back from Ron, reached into my purse for a tissue, and lifted it to my nose. Blowing the buildup of congestion into the feeble tissue sounded like an angry goose.
God, I hate that sound.
My tears clouded my swollen eyes.
“Now, I look like shit.”
We chuckled together.
“Jessica, it’s not goodbye.”
I furrowed my brow.
“Ron, you don’t have to say that.”
“I mean it. We’ll stay friends.”
Oh, god. Not the tears again.
I nodded, trying to keep them at bay.
“I’d like that.”
“And besides, I have something I need you to help me with.”
I tilted my head to the side to look at him, and a smile worked its way across my mouth.
“Sure, Ron. Anything. What do you need?”
“Well, here’s the thing...”
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