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Harper pinched her lips together. She tapped her foot. She folded her arms and chanted calming words in her head, but nothing was helping. Mason’s words had hurt. Like, really, really hurt. She knew he was upset. She knew he was worried, as many first time parents were. She also knew that this was her fault. And apparently Mason thinks so too.
On her way over here, she had been ready to give it all up in order to be with Mason and Layla, but now Harper was having doubts. Mostly because it looked like Mason wasn’t ready for her to give up everything to be with them.
“Mason?”
He barely glanced over his shoulder. His stance next to the bed portrayed every bit of his anxiety. His muscles were tight, his fist was at his mouth and he looked like he kept biting it as if to stop from saying something he shouldn’t say.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?”
Mason’s eyes finally met hers. “Not right now,” he said hastily. “I don’t want to leave her.”
Harper nodded and forced herself to remain in her seat. She could wait it out. The doctor was busy sewing up Layla’s forehead. It wouldn’t be too much longer. Once Layla was back in his arms, Harper was positive that Mason would be reasonable enough to talk with.
An hour later, Mason was receiving instructions on how to care for the child at home and how to watch for signs of a concussion. The doctor felt that she was fine, but it was best to be safe.
“Thank you,” Mason said over and over again. “I’ll do that. Yep. Everything. I’ve got it.”
Harper stayed back, not wanting to agitate him, but she was glad to see he was starting to relax now that Layla was done with her visit. It was a nearly forty-five-minute drive back to Seagull Cove. They could talk in the car.
“Are you ready to go home?” Harper asked once they’d reentered the waiting room. She smiled at Layla and pinched the little girl’s knee.
Layla grinned, but continued to gnaw on the sucker they had given her as a parting gift.
Mason shifted, pulling Layla out of Harper’s reach. “Actually, Crew is on his way. He’ll take us home.”
Harper stopped moving, stunned by his words. “I...” So it wasn’t something just said in the heat of the moment. “Mason...I know her accident was my fault, but mishaps with kids happen all the time. Can you really not forgive me for that?”
Mason’s face darkened. “None of this was your fault,” he said fiercely. Looking around, he moved them to a corner of the waiting room where others wouldn’t be able to hear their conversation. “This was all my fault. Plain and simple.” Closing his eyes, he dropped his chin to his chest. “If I hadn’t let myself get so distracted by you, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“No...Mason...” Harper reached out to touch his chest, but Mason stepped back again. She let her hand drop. On her way to the hospital, Harper had thought she knew what pain was. Layla being hurt was her fault and no adult who loved a child didn’t feel pain when the child did. It was a part of life. When Mason pulled Layla away the first time, it had hurt. When he said Crew was picking them up, it had hurt. All of them combined was starting to steal her breath.
But nothing could have prepared Harper for the direction this conversation was going and what it was doing to her already bruised and confused heart.
“What are you saying?” Harper asked. “Just spell it out.”
Mason took several breaths before he finally answered her. “I can’t do this, Harper. For years I held back because I was afraid to split my time, but a couple weeks ago I made the biggest mistake of my life by giving into my attraction to you.” He shook his head, looking away. “I should never have kissed you. I’ve always had such good self control, but you were there and helping me and...gah!”
Harper’s muscles tensed so hard she was afraid she was going to pull something. Each and every word coming from his mouth was like another stab wound. He wasn’t just upset about Layla getting hurt. Mason regretted everything. Every moment, every touch, every kiss...all the things that Harper had decided were worth fighting for. They meant nothing to him.
Mason pushed a hand through his hair. “Do you even understand?” he asked. “Layla was given to me. ME! I was asked to care for her and I’m facing a battle in court, trying to prove I’m a fit father, and yet what did I do? I turned my back over a stupid kiss.”
Harper actually stepped back at the venom in his words. She didn’t need to hear anymore. She understood. Straightening her shoulders, determined not to show how much he was breaking her, Harper stuck her chin in the air. “Thank you, Mason,” she said, proud that her voice wasn’t shaking. “I understand completely. Take care.”
Spinning on her heel, she marched out of the emergency room, not bothering to wipe the tears flowing freely down her face. Mason couldn’t see them anyway, so what did it matter if she allowed herself to cry?
She got back into her car and found her way back to the main road. The ocean was on her left and the road looming ahead of her. For once she didn’t see the beauty of the sand or the waving grasses. The waves crashing into shore or the families playing in the surf might as well not have been there.
Harper could barely see through her tears to stay on her side of the road. Wiping at her eyes, she took a deep breath. She needed to stay in control enough to drive, but she would also allow herself the tears.
The drive was all she was going to get. Once she got home, Harper would apologize to her mother. She had been right all along. A good, solid career was going to be all that mattered. Steady and dependable. Something that wouldn’t turn around and bite the hand that fed it.
She had tried. She’d tried to make a career of her painting and had failed. She’d tried to help Mason and had failed. She’d given Mason and Layla her heart and it had been returned in a bloody pulp.
Everything had failed.
And when everything fails, there’s only one thing to do. Harper was going to pick herself up, learn from her mistakes and move forward in a new direction. A completely new direction.
And she would never turn back.
*****
MASON COULDN’T WATCH Harper walk away. It hurt too much to know that it was over. Even the relief over knowing his actions wouldn’t lead to another incident like this wasn’t enough to overcome how much it had pained him to send Harper home.
She hadn’t even argued with him. If Mason had scolded Aimee that way, she’d have ripped him up one side and down the other until he backed off, but not Harper. She’d listened to his ranting with a stoic face, then had wished him well and left.
That almost hurt worse than if she’d cried and fought back.
“Dude.” Crew rushed through the doors. “What happened?” He grabbed Layla and held her up, examining the stitches.
“Can we just get in the car?” Mason asked. He needed to get out of here. Away from the smell of antiseptic and the blanket of despair hanging over the entire waiting room. He found himself fitting in a little too well with the emotion and he didn’t like it. All the people there were trying to have a physical wound repaired. Layla’s cut had been taken care of. It was Mason’s wound that still stung and a couple of stitches and a lollipop wasn’t going to help.
“Yeah, alright,” Crew said. He turned and walked them out to his rental. “Good thing I asked for a car seat when I picked this up,” he teased. After strapping Layla in, Crew slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. “You know, I’m surprised Harper didn’t come with you. I thought you were at her house.”
Mason turned his head to watch out the window. He didn’t want to talk about it.
“Mase,” Crew said in a low tone. “What did you do?”
Mason scowled and faced his brother. “What do you mean?”
“You turned away and refused to answer,” Crew responded, maneuvering the car while he spoke. “What did you do? Why wasn’t Harper here?”
“She was.”
Crew frowned and glanced sideways. “Where is she now?”
Mason shrugged. “Probably halfway home.”
“Why didn’t you ride home with her?”
“Look, can we talk about something else?” Mason asked.
“Suuure,” Crew said, sarcasm dripping from his tone. “Would it be better to talk about how this isn’t going to go over well with Mr. Thomas? How if Mom’s lawyer got a hint of what went on today they’ll rake you over the coals in court?”
Mason cursed. “No. I don’t want to talk about that either.”
“There’re children in the car,” he said with a grin. “Better clean up that potty mouth.”
“Crew, if you make another joke, I swear I’ll punch something.”
“You’re paying for the repairs,” he said easily, not the least bit concerned about his brother’s temper. They drove in silence for a couple of minutes. “What happened?”
Mason sighed and closed his eyes. The window felt cool against his forehead, but it still did nothing to help the empty hole in his chest. “I sent her away.”
“Who? Harper?”
“Of course, Harper. Who else would I mean?”
“Mason, you’re not making sense. You told me just yesterday that you were falling in love with this woman. You go visit her today, ask her to uphold your case in court and end up in the emergency room. Lover girl, I might add, is nowhere to be found, yet you say she was here and you sent her away.” Crew glared at his brother. “Tell me how anything is making sense right now?”
Mason knew from years of experience that if he didn’t share it all, Crew would never let up. So the next twenty minutes were spent with him telling the story and twisting until his neck hurt so that he could check on Layla in the back seat.
The fact that she had fallen asleep with the sucker stuck in her hair was a testament to how tired the little tyke was. Mason, however, cringed at the idea of washing the candy out. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do that.
Harper would know.
He shook his head, rattling the thought out of his brain.
“Let me get this straight,” Crew said. His voice was low and full of steel. “You sent away the woman you love because one distracted kiss led to a child getting stitches? You’re a special brand of stupid, aren’t you?”
“Watch it,” Mason warned.
Crew shook his head. “Mason, little kids get stitches. All. The. Time. While the timing isn’t ideal because of the court case, it’s also something that you’ll probably do several more times over the years.” He barked out a laugh. “Do you really think that being a single parent means that she’ll never get hurt? Do you never plan to go to the bathroom or take a shower? What about fixing dinner? How’s that going to work? Or what if Layla stays up when she’s supposed to be napping and climbs out of the crib?” Crew gasped dramatically. “Heaven forbid our niece actually explore her room or run around outside.”
“You weren’t there,” Mason growled. “You didn’t see all the blood, or the way she couldn’t breathe at first because the wind had been knocked out of her. You weren’t the one knowing it was all your fault she was hurt because you couldn’t control your urges.”
Crew held up a hand. “I get it, Sasquatch. And you’re right. I wasn’t there. But having Harper there didn’t make it worse. Two parents are always better than one. Always. I could parade a dozen studies in front of you that show that exact thing, but I don’t really think this is about keeping Layla safe.”
Mason stiffened. “What do you mean?”
Crew breathed in slowly, then released it. “You might be as big as the Jolly Green Giant, but inside you’re a scared little boy.”
“You think I’m scared of Harper?” Nothing could be further from the truth. Harper was an angel on Earth. There was nothing frightening about her except how easily she pulled his attention away from what was important.
“No. I think you’re afraid of losing control.”
“I did lose control,” Mason practically shouted. “Did you not hear the story? Losing control is exactly what led to our being at the emergency room.”
“No. An accident led to you being in the emergency room. Aimee was right when she said you’re like Mom. You don’t like life to shift or change, but you aren’t as rude about it as Mom is.”
Mason turned away. He didn’t need to hear this. Brother or not, Crew had no idea what he was saying.
“You don’t have to believe me,” Crew continued. “But if you look back, you know I’m right. You’re terrified of losing what little control you have left in your life. Layla forced you to change, in a good way, I might add. I’ll bet before she showed up, you had every minute of your day planned down to when you would scroll social media.”
Mason huffed. So what if that was right?
“Having a child in your home shook you up a bit, but with Harper’s help, you adjusted and got a schedule back to help you keep your sanity.” Crew rested his elbow on the window and put his head on his fist while he drove one-handed. “But you can’t control Harper. And you can’t control Layla. And as time went on, it wasn’t the fact that your attention was split, but the fact that the deeper you got, the less you were able to control anything at all.”
“I think we need to stop talking about this.”
Crew nodded. “Fine. I won’t bring it up again, but I just want you to know that I think you’re making the worst mistake of your life.” He paused. “And I pity you for it.”