Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.
It’s the transition that’s troublesome.
—Isaac Asimov
Helpful Hint: Aspies have trouble going from one activity to another or from one environment to another. You’ll need to work with your Aspie to help him make the type of quick transitions required in the real world.
Principle: Aspie brains have an inertia problem—the circuitry does not allow their brains to quickly move from one scenario to another. As a result, Aspies tend to stay focused on one thing. They can’t switch to a new thought process or a new activity, or register a new location or a new topic, without first taking time to prepare for the change. It’s as if their brains need a mini-reboot. Add to this the fact that for many they are starting from scratch each day as they relearn the maze. Each little step can be tough for the Aspie.
Let’s study this principle through a couple of examples. Going to and from class—gym class in particular—is transitional overload for many Aspies. It’s the type of minor transition that neurotypicals take for granted, but because it involves many steps, it can intimidate Aspies. They have to leave their previous class, go to the locker room, change into their gym attire, go outside for the physical education activity, then come back inside, go to the locker room to change back into their school clothes, and get to the next class on time. ESE teachers who specialize in Asperger’s syndrome understand how hard all these transitions are; that’s why many Aspies are exempted from gym class and must get their exercise elsewhere.
Also, changing topics in the middle of a conversation, or even going from talking about one person to another, constitute the types of transitions that the Aspie brain has trouble processing. Patience is required.
Imagine you’re an Aspie. Your dad is telling you how well you did at the family get-together last weekend. You’re following what he’s saying until he shifts gears and asks what you think about a new SUV he’s considering buying. Now you’re confused. Your brain is still engaged in processing the discussion of the family function and can’t register this car that came out of nowhere. Wait, now your dad has started peppering you with questions about your schoolwork. Aargh! Why are conversations so difficult?
ACTION PLAN: Whoa! Slow down! For your Aspie, conversations with others, even you, are difficult enough. If you start jumping from topic to topic, your Aspie’s anxiety level will rise pretty quickly. Say, “New topic,” then pause before you switch subjects. This gives the Aspie time to recalibrate. When you ask Aspies a question, be patient. Give them time to form their thoughts and put them into words. Let them finish what they’re saying before you ask them a follow-up question. Patience is a handy tool to have in your kit of Aspertools. Ample use of it will help improve the Aspie’s ability to process transitions in conversations as well as in life.
Of course, preparation is important, particularly for life’s major transitions. We need to prepare Aspies for the big transitions that come into everyone’s life, whether they’re positive ones, like moving, getting promoted to the next grade or entering college, or changing jobs; or negative ones, such as various types of failures, an illness, or the death of a loved one.
Steady routines of positive activities in familiar surroundings are warm, fuzzy, security blankets for Aspies.
