Mulberry, Nila, and Frank greet me and Blue as we pull into the garage of Peter’s rental. James spots the cherry red Porsche and lets out a cry of absolute delight. He was asleep when we left, but now…now we are going to have to let him sit in that Porsche for possibly the rest of our lives.
Mulberry opens the back door and greets his son. Frank is standing next to him, his tail thwapping against Mulberry’s legs. James pumps his arms and lets out squeals of excitement. “It’s for the Porsche,” I explain to Mulberry.
He laughs. “And for a second I thought I was a favorite.”
“He may love that car even more than my boobs right now,” I say with a laugh as I get out of the van. Blue hops out after me and Nila greets us both in her quiet calm way. “Hey, good girl,” I say, giving her head a pat.
Her nose taps my thigh as I circle around to where Mulberry is freeing James from his car seat. The little boy leans his entire body toward the Porsche. “Peter left the keys,” Mulberry says, holding a squirming James as he pivots to open the sports car’s driver-side door. James dives into the seat and grabs the steering wheel, his eyes huge with delight. “How did it go?” Mulberry asks.
“Robert is having surgery tomorrow—they think they can save his life.” I pause and Mulberry watches me. “I’m starting to believe he wasn’t faking it.”
“I think you may be right.” Something moves behind his eyes. As if he’s trying to make a decision. “Peter left,” he says.
“Oh.” It feels like a punch to the gut and I hate it.
“He…” Mulberry stops speaking, rolling his lips.
I roll my eyes. “Peter’s a hell of a liar—I guess I have a type.” My laugh is bitter and Mulberry frowns.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “You didn’t deserve that.” I shrug, not sure how to respond; it’s not as if people get what they deserve in life, that’s not how this human experience goes--much as we want it to. “Why is that?” I ask, vocalizing my half-finished thought.
“Because you’re loyal and honest and amazing.”
I laugh. “I didn’t mean why do I deserve better, I meant why don’t people get what they deserve? Why do we have this thirst for fairness and yet the world is so unfair?”
“I don’t know,” Mulberry says, stepping closer and snaking his arm around my waist. “I don’t know why life is the way it is.”
His touch soothes me and I lean into his chest, feeling how alive he is, how much we belong to each other on such a deep level. Even if he too has lied to me for my own good. That’s always why they lie, to protect me from myself. Or so they all think.
Why didn’t Peter tell me that he wasn’t in contact with Robert the entire time, why didn’t he just tell me the whole truth instead of leaving me with this blurry vision of what happened between them…between us? Maybe he did…I mean he did try, I guess. And who knows what was in the letter I threw away before finishing.
I sigh and lean more heavily against Mulberry. His hold on me tightens and his lips brush my forehead. “Peter said he had to take care of some things. He left a lot of cash and weapons. And several routes to Costa Rica, including new identities to get us across the border.”
Anger flares in my chest and I feel my cheeks heat. Mulberry cocks his head at me. “Are you mad?”
“Yes, I’m mad,” I admit. Mulberry doesn’t answer and I step out of his embrace, my anger making me jittery. Dammit, I can’t ask Peter about what I learned from Brock. But fine. I shake my head. That’s actually totally fine. I hope I never see his lying ass again. Fucker. Even if he did hide me, even if he wasn’t in contact with Robert the whole time, he should have told me the moment Robert reached out. Fuck him.
I take in a steadying breath and look over at James. He’s standing on the fine leather of the Porsche’s driver’s seat, his hands on the wheel, eyes focused on some imagined road in front of him, making vroom sounds.
“What’s going on in your head?” Mulberry asks, still stationed by the car door to make sure James doesn’t tip out.
“I need a shower,” I say. “And to think.” I meet his gaze. “And I think I need to call Consuela Sanchez.”
“She’s not on our side, Sydney, she’s a part of the machine. The machine that wants to lock us up. That has Dan locked up—or at least on a tight leash somewhere.”
“I think I could make a deal—I’d testify against Robert for immunity and Dan’s freedom.”
Mulberry’s brows raise. “That seems like a discussion to have with the council, don’t you think?”
“Of course,” I say, my brain throwing up images of the Joyful Justice council—Lenox, Anita, Mulberry, Merl….Dan and me. “But I think using the system to bring down Robert Maxim would be powerful. And I could help free Dan.”
“We have our own plans to free Dan, I told you that.”
“I hope they are as good as Peter’s were for you,” I say, regretting the words the moment they leave my mouth. “Sorry,” I add quickly. “That was a dumb thing to say.”
Mulberry cocks his head. “Why? He executed an incredible mission. He may not be trustworthy, but I’m free because of him.”
“I was there,” I grumble. Mulberry doesn’t answer, which is probably a smart move. “I’m going to make lunch for James; he ate some snacks but needs a real meal.”
“Peter said there are ripe avocados on the counter and he made some pasta that’s in the fridge.”
Annoyance tightens my shoulders. “You seem like a Peter fan,” I say. “And you know that’s not even his name. He won’t tell me his actual name.”
“I’m not a fan,” Mulberry says, his voice a deep rumble. I look up to meet his gaze. His hazel eyes are watching me like I’m a science experiment. “I understand you were in love with him—and I can see why.”
“I’m not in love with him,” I say, my tone defensive.
“You were.”
I don’t argue the point, just get madder. Blue’s nose swipes my hip. “I’m going in,” I say. “I’ll come back and grab him when it’s ready.”
Mulberry nods and I leave him with James, Frank, and Nila in the garage while Blue and I head into the kitchen.
Peter left a lunch for James in kid dishes in the fridge, all organized and ready to go. I want to hate him for it, which is irrational. But I want to anyway. I wish I could hate Robert Maxim too.
But I can’t.
Shit.