Eloise. Against his will she dominated his thoughts on the drive home. As Sean cleaned and unhitched the horse trailer, images of the day with her overwhelmed him. Memories of her racing away from him on Licorice’s back, the ring of her unguarded laughter, her look of shock when he’d tried to kiss her. He cringed and gave the garden hose a tug. He could still feel the imprint of her hand on his chest, blocking him from moving in to cover her lips with his.
He’d messed things up royally. He gave the nozzle a final blast, chasing the last of the soap bubbles from the tire rims. The trailer was clean inside and out and his work was done, but he didn’t want to head down to the house. He knew it would probably be empty. He hadn’t stopped by to see for sure on his way up the hill, but over breakfast this morning he’d overheard his cousins making plans to hit the street fair. Mrs. G. would have gone home. He didn’t want to be alone battling thoughts of Eloise.
He coiled up the hose, working fast, trying to forget their awkward conversation in the inn’s stable. When she’d walked away from him, it had felt final. He sighed, frustrated with himself. He hadn’t even seen that attempted kiss coming.
A plaintive moo caught his attention. He glanced up. A white-faced Hereford leaned over the fence begging for attention. A half dozen other cows ambled over too, probably hoping for treats. He dug some out of the bag in the back of his truck and crossed the lane to greet them.
“Howdy, Buttercup.” He rubbed her poll. She lowered her head to go after the treats. Being with animals made everything better. He chuckled as he held the goodies out of her reach. “You only get one, cutie. You have to share.”
Buttercup’s friends mooed in agreement and pushed against the fence too, eager for pats and treats of their own. Jasmine’s long pink tongue stretched out. Lily, not to be outdone, caught hold of his T-shirt with her teeth and tugged.
“Girls, girls.” He began handing out the treats since he was outnumbered. “There’s enough to go around.”
“You’re popular with the ladies.” Addy tromped into sight in the field, flanked by yearling cows who danced and hopped and skipped around her. “I can’t believe you’re not in town. Scotty can keep an eye on our expectant mare tonight so you don’t have to stay. You should be having fun.”
“I’ve already had all the fun I can handle.” He held out the last of the treats to the cows, who devoured them cheerfully. He rubbed Buttercup’s nose and Jasmine’s poll. “Besides, the company is better here. Isn’t that right, ladies?”
Buttercup mooed at him, as if in perfect agreement.
Addison laughed at the yearlings tumbling and playing around her and swiped a lock of straight strawberry-blond hair out of her blue eyes. “I’ve done nothing but work all day. Not that I mind but I’m dying to shop. I’ve got money to burn, or I will once I get a hold of Dad.”
Addison reminded him again of his younger sister and he fought off a pang of homesickness. He missed his family. He was close to them. Maybe it was time for a call home. He put that on his mental to-do list. “The yearlings look good. They’ve been keeping you busy.”
“Always. I’ve got the babies in the barn fed, so I’m heading down to the house.” She patted a few eager heads. “Daisy, you be good while I’m gone. You too, Violet. Rose, don’t even think about trying to get out of this fence. Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
“I’ll think about it.” The evening was perfect, but the thought of spending it in an empty, echoing house made his stomach tighten. If he wanted to be a lone wolf, he would have to get used to it.
“C’mon. You really need to come.” Addy climbed through the fence and bobbed to a stop beside him. “It won’t be just us girls. We’re all meeting up in front of the cotton-candy booth. Justin, Tucker and Ford will be there. You can hang with the guys.”
“Good, because I don’t think I could take hanging out with the likes of you.” He gave her ponytail end a tug, just like he did when they were kids and was rewarded with her big, infectious grin.
“Fab! I’d better hurry. I promised I wouldn’t be late.” She took off at a dash down the lane. “Give me ten minutes, and I’ll meet you at the truck.”
“It’ll be fifteen,” he joked, as the cattle called out, saying goodbye in their cow-like way. His cell rang and drew their attention. Bovine ears pricked and eyes brightened in excitement as he fished it out of his pocket. Tongues reached, trying to grab the contraption from him and he chuckled. Cows were great.
He rubbed Lily’s nose, stepped just out of reach of Buttercup’s tongue. He expected to see his mom’s number, but when he squinted at the display he couldn’t believe his eyes. Meryl’s name stared up at him. It was really her. She was calling. His palms went damp.
Three months ago, he used to pray for this. When his phone rang, it had been her name he had most wanted to see. Times had changed and he couldn’t move his thumb to hit the button to answer the phone.
Something tugged at his hat brim. Teeth clamped on the neckline of his shirt. Yearling noses poked between the rails to sink their teeth into the legs of his jeans and tugged. The cows and their bright eyes were as affectionate as could be and a great comfort as he stared at the screen.
How could Meryl call after the way she’d left things? And why? It was like a sudden icy downpour had pummeled from the sky, drowning out the warmth and sunlight. He shivered in the eighty-degree temperature.
He hit Ignore and jammed the phone into his pocket safely out of sight but not out of mind.
“How did you like Craig?” Gran stepped onto the shaded old-fashioned porch with two glasses of icy lemonade in hand. The wooden screen door slapped shut behind her as she set the glasses on a pretty cloth-covered table. “Was he the one?”
“He was the last one.” Eloise gave her car door a shove and trudged up the walk. Her weak leg seemed to drag more as she climbed the steps, but maybe it was her spirit that was lagging. She’d endured an hour and a half of Craig’s flat monotone, his endless fascination with some video game he couldn’t stop talking about and the fact that he looked just past her right shoulder whenever he spoke to her. Predictably he’d been quietly distasteful when he’d spotted her limp. Getting through that dinner had not been easy.
“No more, Gran. Take pity on me.” She collapsed onto the closest cushion and leaned her cane against the side of the wicker chair. “Promise me you won’t put me through another minute of this.”
“I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” Gran eased onto the neighboring chair. “Why is this so hard for you, sweet pea?”
“I would rather not talk about it. I’m here to weed.” She had stopped quickly at home to change into an old T-shirt and shorts. She sipped the ice-cold lemonade and let the tangy sweetness sluice over her tongue. “I’m going to take this with me, though. Delicious.”
“Don’t you go anywhere, young lady. I already did the weeding.” Gran’s chin lifted with a touch of defiance. “I’m not too old yet to weed my tomatoes. Now, answer my question.”
“I’d rather go back and have dinner all over again with Craig.”
“Was it really that bad?”
“Gran, you are torturing me. The CIA could use this as a method for extracting information. It was agonizing.” She may as well tell the truth. “Please stop fixing me up.”
“What’s so bad about meeting a nice young man?” Gran’s face scrunched up, bewildered. “I know Craig had nice manners. I asked his grandmother to make sure.”
“Yes, but you could have asked if he had a personality.”
“Oh, my.” Gran put her hand to her mouth and chuckled. “I had no idea he was lacking. I’ll do better next time.”
“Next time I’m going to bring you with me so you can see what I’m up against. There are no good men left.” That was her argument and she was sticking to it.
“He is out there, mark my words.” Her grandmother appeared certain, unfailing in her belief. “I’ve been praying.”
“Fine, but can we change the subject?”
“The right man will love you the way you are, for all that you are.” Gran took a dainty sip of lemonade.
I don’t notice your limp. When I look, I see you. Sean’s words rolled into her mind and so did the memory of the kiss they’d almost shared. She swallowed hard and set down her glass before she spilled it. She’d been terrified of his rejection. That was the reason she’d stopped him before his lips claimed hers.
What would his kiss have been like? She blocked her mind from envisioning that little scenario. Imagining the tender brush of his lips to hers would only make it harder to forget. She wanted to slap her forehead because she’d visualized exactly what she’d been trying to avoid—Sean’s kiss.
“How did your date go with that nice Granger boy?” Gran asked as casually as if she’d asked about nothing more personal than the weather.
Eloise inhaled, sucking lemonade into the wrong pipe. She coughed and sputtered, gasping for air. Her face turned red. Her eyes watered. She could see the tip of her nose shining like a beet.
“It was not a date,” she wheezed. A few chugs of lemonade got everything going the right way, but it didn’t begin to soothe the turmoil roiling up within her. “Sean and I were taking two of the inn’s new horses for a ride.”
“I didn’t see any horses.”
“Trust me, it was work-related, not personal.” Although it might have been. She gulped another swallow of lemonade, hoping Gran hadn’t happened to witness their almost-kiss.
Maybe she had. Nothing went unnoticed in a small town. Gran looked merry over the rim of her glass. “You’re a heartbreaker, Eloise. Just like me in my day. Oh, I had them lining up for me, too.”
“I’m not sure I should be hearing this.” She blushed harder.
“Your grandfather wasn’t just the best of the bunch, he was simply the best. I knew it the moment I saw him. He was new to town, the owner of this ranch right here. I remember it as if it were yesterday. He moseyed into the diner and my heart stopped beating. Time stood still and I felt wonderful down to the soul. As if I had taken my first breath and my life was about to start anew.”
“I know the story, Gran.” Everyone in the family had heard it a hundred times, but it was sweet enough to savor again. “He looked at you, lifted his hat and told you he’d just met the lady he was going to marry.”
“He did and I was charmed.” Gran looked happy and sad in the same moment. Although Gramps was gone, her love for him had not dimmed. “I caught that Granger boy looking at you and I saw the same look in his eyes.”
“Wishful thinking.” Her heart felt ready to crack apart, which made no sense at all. Sean was not falling for her.
She grabbed her cane, gathering her dignity. Sean had admitted he hadn’t even meant to kiss her, and that was no surprise. She was painfully aware of the tap of her cane and her limping gait as she rose to fetch the pitcher from the kitchen. The breeze from the open windows scented the room with the fragrance of blooming flowers and warm summer air and made her rebellious mind boomerang right back to Sean, wondering what he was doing.
She hated to admit it, but she wasn’t as unaffected by him as she wanted to be.
The muted light of evening hazed the town with a Norman Rockwell glow. Sean jumped into the back of the truck, since they’d picked up Cheyenne and Autumn in town. The last thing he wanted to do was to be stuck in the cab with three women bent on talking weddings. Not that he objected to matrimony, but a bachelor was required to avoid the topic. It was the manly thing to do.
“Are you sure you’re okay back there?” Cheyenne peeked out the back window.
“I’m used to being hauled around like a bale of hay,” he assured her. “It’s how my family always treats me.”
“Sure they do.” Cheyenne laughed at him, shook her head as if to say there was no understanding the male species and told Addy to hit the gas.
The truck rolled forward away from the curb leaving the hubbub of the street fair behind. Some vendors had closed up for the day, others were doing a stellar business. In a few minutes’ time, they hit the outskirts and the vehicle gained speed on the country road.
Since he had a moment to himself, he yanked his phone from his pocket. With the breeze whipping his face and hair, he studied the screen. One voice mail, it said. If he pushed the button, then he would hear her voice. He still smarted somewhat fiercely at the thought.
He drummed his thumb on his knee, debating. What did she want? If he deleted it without listening, he would never know. She might have apologized. Maybe listening to something like that would give him closure. Or, he thought with a leap of his pulse, she might want to get back together.
What do I do, Lord? He had moved on without Meryl and he was finally happy. Why mess that up?
Eloise. She was the one he wanted to talk with about this. She would understand. Was it wrong to want to see her? He frowned, belting out a frustrated sigh, angry with himself. After that debacle with the failed kiss, he didn’t think he had the right to count on her friendship. He moved his thumb to the number pad of his phone, wishing he could call her.
He couldn’t.
The truck swept around a long, lazy country corner heading directly into the sun. The shade from the cab fell over him, and his screen glowed brightly like a sign. He would face his problems on his own. He hit the voice-mail call button and waited, palms damp and respiration sketchy. Meryl’s ingenuous alto lilted from the speaker.
“Sean. I know it’s been a while and you probably don’t want to talk to me. That’s fine, I understand. I really do.” Her voice hitched, as if she were in pain. “Please call me anyway. I need you to know how I feel. I made a mistake. A big mistake. Have you ever made one that you feel so bad about you are afraid nothing you can do will ever make it right? Well, that would be me. I’m praying there’s a way to make things right, Sean. God is guiding me back to you.”
A big mistake? He hit Delete. That tore him up. Things hadn’t worked out with the dentist, huh? He was sorry for that, but he felt stirred up. The old wound became fresh.
This was why love was a bad idea. It should be avoided at all costs.
The back window slid open and Autumn smiled out at him. She shone with deep, contented happiness, the kind that polished her from the inside out. True love had done that. He was glad it had worked out for her. Concern creased her brow as she studied him. “Hey, are you all right?”
“I’m okay.” He shrugged, hoping to dislodge the pain. It didn’t work, but he wasn’t ready to talk about it.
“I just heard the scoop about you and Eloise.” She brushed her auburn curls behind her ear as the wind caught them. “I think it’s great, by the way. We’ve all known Eloise forever.”
“That’s the way things go in a small town. People leap to the wrong conclusions awful fast.” He loved this way of life, but he could use a little more privacy, at least where his heart was concerned. He’d taken two blows all in one day, first Eloise’s rejection and now Meryl’s apology, and it was about all he could take. “I’m just helping her with the inn’s horses.”
“It’s so sad about those poor things.” Autumn grew serious. “Is there something I can do?”
“You’ll have to ask Cady. They’re in relatively good condition, considering. No major illnesses, no injuries, and they are being well cared for now.”
“Still, I feel like I should do something. Maybe I’ll swing by the inn and see them.”
“Sure.” Inspiration hit. Maybe he should ask her to take over his offer to help Eloise instead. If Autumn stepped in, he could retreat into the background and keep his distance. It would be safer to bow out. It was a good idea, except for the matter of the quickly approaching wedding. As busy as Autumn was, he figured she would shuffle around her responsibilities.
He couldn’t ask her. He couldn’t say the words.