The sound of voices filled the breezeway as Sean knelt to check Wildflower’s cinch. The mare watched him curiously, her ears twitching as she listened to the rise and fall of familiar voices a few feet away. He resisted the urge to pick out one soft alto among all the others just like he was doing his level best not to let his gaze drift over the horse’s gold rump to where the women congregated in front of Sunny’s stall, cooing over the newborn foal.
Lone wolves did not moon after pretty gals. They stayed remote, defenses up, in control of their common sense.
Satisfied the cinch was tight enough, he patted the mare’s neck.
“Looks like we’re ready to go,” he told the mare. “You don’t mind taking Eloise home, do you?”
Wildflower, the good girl that she was, whickered low in her throat, an affable agreement. He walked behind her, placing a hand on her flank and did the same to his gelding, Bandit, who arched his neck and stomped his foot, eager to go. He’d spent the day in his corral, and he was a horse that liked to stay busy and on the move. Sean knew just how he felt.
“Don’t worry, we’ll head out in a minute, buddy, I—” He looked up, spotted Eloise, and forgot whatever else he’d been meaning to say.
She blew him away. Slim and willowy, she leaned against the gate, transfixed by the foal, wonder on her face. She was golden goodness as she glided her fingertips across Star’s forehead—Julianna and Jenny had agreed on the name for the new filly.
“Hi, little one.” It was her musical words that stopped him in his tracks, her delight that stole the air from his lungs. Happy, she glowed as bright as the sun’s rays slanting through the open door, a rare and arresting beauty. The newborn foal’s eyes drifted shut at her tender touch.
“She likes you, Eloise,” Cheyenne said, and Addy chimed in something too but he didn’t register what.
It was nearly impossible to hear a thing over the rush of his pulse thudding in his ears like a death knell.
“I don’t know how you Grangers get any work done.” Eloise stopped stroking and the foal’s eyes opened.
“It’s tough,” Cheyenne agreed. “There’s nothing but foals in the fields with their dams and calves in the pastures with their mamas. Most days all you want to do is play with the little ones.”
“She is amazing, wobbling on those long, awkward legs. Adorable.”
“I don’t know how many foals have been born on his ranch, and I am in awe every time,” Cheyenne agreed. “They are so innocent and sweet and knock-kneed. Just too cute.”
Cute, sure. He was in awe, totally. But it wasn’t the foal that captivated him. Not even close. Eloise’s gentle laughter radiated joy as the filly clamped onto the hem of her pink T-shirt with her velvety muzzle. With care, Eloise gently freed her shirt from the little darling’s clutches.
Something nudged his hand, dragging him out of his reverie. It was Sunny, who gave him a look that plainly said she was waiting.
“Sorry, girl.” He tugged a chunk of carrot out of his pocket. She grasped it with her big horsy teeth and her whiskers tickled his palm. As she crunched contentedly, his attention drifted back to Eloise. “Are you ready to head home?”
“I’m not sure I can tear myself away.” Elation rolled through her words.
“I can’t compete. I’m definitely second fiddle to a filly like Star.” He approached the throng of women, knowing full well what his cousins thought about his friendship with Eloise, but he didn’t let other people’s suspicions bother him. “We can stay here as long as you want, but I’ve got the horses saddled and ready.”
“I don’t want to make them stand too long. It’s a beautiful evening.” Eloise swept a lock of silken hair behind her ear and pushed away from the bars. “I wouldn’t want to be tied up in the stable, not on an evening like this. Goodbye, little baby.”
The foal’s ears swiveled, taking in the sounds. Her chocolate fudge eyes were wide and curious as she watched the human walk away from her. Her mother, at her side, gave a low whicker of reassurance. His cousins called out their goodbyes and Eloise returned them. Could he listen? No, not with Eloise at his side.
“I saddled Cheyenne’s saddle horse, Wildflower, for you.” He slowed his gait to match her uneven one.
“Hey, girl.” She held out her free hand for the mare to scent. “We know each other from way back, don’t we?”
In answer, Wildflower lowered her head for a scratch, which Eloise obliged. His spirit brightened simply from watching her.
“I thought that might be the case.” He knelt and laced his fingers together. “Need a boost?”
“No, but since you are already down there …” Trouble twinkled along with dark green flecks in her irises as she turned her attention to him. “You may as well make yourself useful.”
“Useful.” The full focus of her gaze walloped him, leaving him breathless. It was all he could do to stay steady as she planted her foot in the palms of his hands. “Glad to know I’m good for something around here.”
“Oh, I’m sure you must have some value in addition to being useful.”
“If I do, that’s news to me.” He lifted effortlessly, boosting her into the saddle. “If I have so much value, you might have to hang out with me more often.”
“I’m not sure I would go that far.” Leather creaked as she settled into place, towering like a princess on a throne.
“It seems to me if I have such merit you wouldn’t hesitate.” He snatched the cane she’d left behind and tucked it behind the saddle, then tightened the ties until it was secure.
“Oh, there’s the male ego. I knew it was there. Every man has it.”
“Please, don’t go confusing me with other guys. I’m not that bad, am I?” He untied Wildflower’s right rein from the wall hook and drew it up for Eloise to take.
“I said you had some merits. That doesn’t erase your many, many flaws.” Dimples hooked the edges of her pretty mouth.
No one could make him laugh the way Eloise could. He untied Bandit and swung into the saddle. “Fine, I have a few flaws. More than a few flaws. See, I’m better than other men since I can admit it.”
“Yes, clearly superior.”
His big black gelding tossed his head, ready to roll. Sean pressed his heels and the horse responded, eager to get out in the summer evening.
Birds chirped and flitted from fence post to tree. Horses grazed. In the fields far up the hillside cattle lounged, looking like a mass of black dots against the stunning grassland. The clomp of hooves as he and Eloise rode together down the hill was about the most companionable thing he’d ever known.
Now this is friendship, he thought, watching the gentle breeze flutter through the ends of Eloise’s hair. He and she were two like souls out for a ride, enjoying the summer evening. He wasn’t noticing in the slightest that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He’d hardly even glanced at her soft rosebud mouth upturned in a smile. As for his crazy attempt to kiss her?
Forgotten. Wiped from his memory permanently.
“Let’s cut through the fields,” he suggested. It was shorter than following the roads to her house and more scenic.
“Just what I was thinking.” She tugged the brim of her Stetson lower against the sun. “It’s a perfect evening for riding.”
“That it is.” Perfect. That was the exact word he’d been searching for. Nothing could be finer than being on the back of his horse with her riding at his side. He breathed in the fragrance of the windswept meadows and felt her shadow fall across him as he sidled Bandit up to the gate to unlatch it.
“I was just wondering why Buttercup wasn’t dashing up to us.” Eloise rode past him into the field, stirring his heart like ripples in a pond.
Remember, you don’t feel a thing, he told himself and followed Eloise into the pasture. Feelings were what got a man into big trouble. Heartbreak trouble. He swung the gate closed behind him. The horse waited with a swish of his tail while Sean secured the latch and double-checked it.
“No wonder,” Eloise said as if from a thousand miles away. It was hard to hear anything over the crazy drumming in his ears. She sat straight in her saddle, gently gorgeous and quietly dazzling. “The girls are busy adoring Buttercup appropriately.”
“That cow is the most spoiled bovine in the state. Maybe in the entire country.”
“Perhaps the whole continent?”
It took all his effort to focus on the gathering at the far end of the field, since his eyesight seemed fixated on Eloise against his will. He tried to focus on the two little girls flanking tall, slender Cady, but everything was blurry. The trio were petting Buttercup and adding a crown of daisies to the top of her head. “There ought to be a law.”
“Yes, animal pampering ought to be regulated,” she quipped, although a layer of seriousness remained beneath.
He knew what she was thinking. He winced because he didn’t think he could ever get the sight of those half-starved horses out of his head. That had been an emotional day. Proof that emotions were best avoided, since they had led to his disastrous attempt to kiss her. From here on out, no emotions allowed. “Here’s my law. All animals should be pampered.”
“I would vote for it. That’s always been my rule.” She patted Wildflower’s neck and the mare nickered as if she were in total agreement, too.
“That’s why I love working with Uncle Frank.” He steeled his chest so no emotions could sneak in and cause all sorts of trouble. “I love ranching, I love working outdoors, I love cows. I could have hired on at a lot of other big operations in the state. There are always openings.”
“But you wanted to work with your uncle.”
“Yes. Not just because he’s my dad’s brother, but because of what he stands for.” He liked that Eloise understood that and understood him. He relaxed a little, rocking in the saddle slightly in time with Bandit’s gait. “He’s a top-notch rancher and he treats his animals right.”
“You want to learn from him.”
“I want to be like him.” He kept his attention on the ground ahead where a worn trail wove its way through the tall grass and nodding wildflowers. Amazing that Eloise could instantly see what his parents had not been able to get. “He has a gift with animals, and he’s good to them. He respects them. There’s never a harsh word used, never a whip, never an electric cattle prod. Every steer, cow and calf has a name and they aren’t solely a means to making a profit, but they are the point of the ranch. There is a reward in ranching the right way that no amount of money made can begin to compete with.”
“Sounds noble to me.”
“Glad you think so.” Her opinion mattered to him. He let silence settle between them, broken only by the occasional creak of a saddle and the rhythmic plod of horse hooves. Bandit’s mane rippled when he lifted his head to scent the wind. Wildflower danced closer to avoid a sudden flurry of a killdeer bursting out of the grasses and crying out, feigning an injured wing to lead them away from her nest.
“I think that’s the secret to a happy life.” She didn’t rein Wildflower away but let the mare walk alongside Bandit, so close Sean could reach out and catch her hand with his.
Not that he wanted to hold her hand. But he could.
“What’s the secret?” he asked.
“That happiness can’t be found necessarily in the big successes of life or the material benefits, but in the things that can’t be measured. In knowing you are doing things the right way. Living your life with honor. Living with your heart.” She caught her hat with one hand as she tipped her head back, breathing in the scent of the winds and letting the gold-layered sun rays paint her with sepia tones. “It’s also pretty nice riding horses on an amazing summer evening like this.”
“It is pretty amazing. The evening, I mean. The horse ride.” And her. She was awesome and so full of life that her emotions tugged him along with her, forcing him to feel. Not the easy things like the warmth of the sun on his face, but the hope that could be found when he peeled back the scars on his heart and looked beneath the surface.
“It’s what I’ve been struggling with,” she confessed. “I’ve had so many losses since the accident, not just having to give up skating.”
“It sounds to me like you had to give up everything.”
“Not everything, but it felt that way. One day my life was going great. The next what I’d worked for so hard for years was gone. My career, my life in Seattle, my relationship with Gerald.” Along with the chance to be married, to be a mom and raise kids of her own, but she couldn’t admit that aloud. Not to Sean. Not to anyone.
The pink glint of sunshine hitting her stowed cane was the reminder of why. Seated in a saddle, her disability didn’t show, but it would always be with her and always a part of her. She set her chin, determined to stay positive. “Somehow I have to live with those losses and not let them diminish my life. Whew, that’s a really heavy subject. I say we change topics.”
“If you want.” His expression had turned thoughtful. Nothing could be dreamier than his blue eyes. He could see right through her barriers to places she liked to keep hidden, which was the last thing she wanted.
Yes, a change of topic was definitely a good idea. An electronic chime chose that moment to fill the air, emanating from Sean’s back pocket. Wildflower pricked her ears, listening to the tune, and Eloise patted the mare’s neck in reassurance. She wasn’t noticing how attractive Sean was as he tugged his cell from his back pocket. A shock of dark hair tumbled into his eyes as he studied the screen. Her fingers itched to brush it back into place.
“A rancher’s work is never done,” she commented. “Is it your uncle? If you have to head back, I can find home on my own.”
“No, that’s not it.” He hit a button, silencing the phone, and jammed it into his pocket. He didn’t sound as breezy as he probably meant to. “Personal.”
“Personal? Oh, you so aren’t getting away with that.” She squinted against the sun as the trail wound due west where light glinted off the wide snake of the river. “Tell me.”
“It’s nothing.” A muscle jumped along his strong jaw line. He shrugged one wide, capable shoulder. “No big deal.”
“I know a big deal when I see one.” He wasn’t fooling her. She’d caught the flash of pain in his soulful blue eyes. The tension ratcheting through him was plain to see. She leaned toward him in the saddle, wanting to reach out and afraid to do so. “Avoiding someone?”
“My ex.” He concentrated overly hard on guiding Bandit through the grass.
That was it. No explanation. No elaboration. He turned to marbled stone before her eyes, shutting down, closing up. He was hurting.
Caring poured into her heart, caring she had no right to feel. She brushed a strand of windblown hair out of her eyes, debating what to do. Did she give him his privacy? Or did she express her concern the way any friend would?
“Can I ask why she is calling you?” She tilted toward him, amazed by the display of emotion warring beneath the surface of his set face. He wanted to appear unaffected but that was far from the truth. She read the wince of pain and the shadow of regret. “Didn’t she break up with you?”
“This is the second time she’s called.” Tendons corded in his neck, as if he were holding back pain.
He must have loved her very much. Of course he had, since he’d proposed to the woman. He wasn’t like Gerald, who had been able to move on so easily. Sean felt deeply and truly.
How could any woman not have wanted him? Meryl didn’t know how blessed she was to have had Sean’s love and devotion. Anger speared through her, and she had to look away, take a few deep breaths and focus on the serenity of the daisies dancing in the wild grasses. How could anyone have treated him that way?
“Seems things didn’t work out with the dentist, so she’s decided to apologize to me.” He tried to sound aloof.
He almost pulled it off. She would have believed him if she didn’t know him so well. She tried to sound aloof too, as if she wasn’t hurting and upset on his behalf. “Apologize? Or do you mean she wants you back?”
As he casually shrugged one brawny shoulder again, an attempt at being aloof, muscles rippled beneath his T-shirt and corded in his neck. Her pulse tripped over itself in the silence. Was he going to forgive the woman? Would he go back to her?
That thought doesn’t hurt at all, she told herself, ignoring the arrow of pain burrowing into her. She adjusted the reins and concentrated on getting the sun-warmed leather straps just right between her fingers.
“I don’t want her back.” Sean broke the silence, resolute. “I don’t want to be second-string. Not when it comes to being loved.”
Whew, that was a relief. Tension rolled out of her and she almost slumped in the saddle. “I’ve been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.”
“I have that shirt, too. I was a fool letting her dupe me like that. I didn’t even realize she was seeing someone else.” He tugged his Stetson a notch lower to shade his eyes against the sun, but it also hid the emotions he had to be fighting. “My mom and stepdad have one of the best marriages I’ve seen. I never really thought about it. All those years growing up and watching them, I just thought that was how relationships went. You got along, you were happy and you put the other person first.”
“That was my experience, too.” It felt as if they were in sync as they rode the gently sloping hillside together. Copses of cottonwood and groves of pine cast shade here and there and hid them from the houses popping up at the edge of town. “I just assumed any relationship I had would be the same as my parents’.”
“That’s what I did. I was probably naive, but I couldn’t see the little things that were wrong. When I did, I argued them away.” He guided his big black horse off the trail, turning onto the residential road. His long, wide shadow fell across her. He cleared his throat, but his emotions lingered in the deep notes of his baritone. “If I’d paid attention, maybe I could have ended things earlier and saved myself a lot of agony. I tried too hard to make it work.”
“Me, too.” It was really hard to think straight with Sean at her side. She had to resist the pull of his attractiveness. She had to hold down wishes that could not be brought into the light. “There were little things that were off, things I told myself not to be so picky about. Gerald always wanted things his way, he forgot the courteous little touches, he always picked the movie we watched. Now and then I worried I was an afterthought to him.”
“You told yourself he was busy or had a lot on his mind or that no one is perfect and that you weren’t being accepting enough?”
“Exactly.” That was it. “Gerald was good to me, not great, but good. I could explain everything away because of the stress of our constant training and competing. We were world champions. Maintaining our title was hard work and pressure. The excuses I made for him came very easily and I didn’t even realize it.”
“I understand. Once my eyes were opened, I felt stupid because I settled for so little. I couldn’t see her behavior for what it was. She didn’t want me to see it, but she was biding her time with me.” His voice steeled, rising powerfully above the knell of the horse hooves on the paved street. “When she thought she could do better, she did.”
“She could not do better, Sean. Not by a long shot.” For all his manly strength, he was as vulnerable at heart as she was. He had been devastated as thoroughly. Heartbreak played no favorites but hurt equally. “You loved her truly.”
“I thought so, but now I’m not so sure. If it were true love, then my feelings toward her would never fade. They did.” He shrugged, sitting taller in his saddle, his chest up, his shoulders straight, his dignity showing.
She admired him so, so much. She feared she liked him even more.
The leisurely dance of a country sunset was deepening with its last chorus. The underbellies of fluffy, marshmallow clouds blazed with bold purples, pinks and reds. Sunset cast jeweled tones into the light that enveloped them like a sign from above. Tall trees cast long shadows over the land and over the occasional house lining the road. Her driveway came into sight and she sighed with sadness. Their ride was at an end.
She hated drawing Wildflower to a stop. For a while, for the length of the ride, she had been able to forget about the cane tucked into the saddle straps. She dismounted, struggling to keep the smile on her face and to hold on to their moment of closeness. She gripped her cane tightly and handed over the reins to Sean. “Thanks for riding with me home.”
“I could have taken you in the truck.” He tied a loose knot in the end of the reins and looped them over his saddle horn. “But I thought this would be nicer.”
“It was.” Nice. That was one word for it. Illuminating was another. She tried with all her strength to keep from feeling a single thing as Sean tipped his hat to her.
“Good night, Eloise. I’ll see you.” He wheeled the horses around to retrace his trail home, sitting so strong and tall in the saddle he took her breath away. “My horse trailer is ready to roll any time you need it.”
“I’m still keeping Cheyenne as an option.”
“Funny.” He held up one hand, riding away into the shadows and the dying rays of light.
Do not fall, she warned herself. Do not even start to fall for the man. He was certain heartbreak waiting to happen.