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Rosie
Why, when this was never supposed to be real, do I feel like my heart has been ripped out? I practically run home. But I don't want Mum and Dad to see me back early. I'd have to explain, and I don't want to.
I get home just as Russ is pulling up in the drive.
He sees me and comes over. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you walking on your own at night?"
I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about it, Russ."
"Has someone . . . Has someone hurt you?"
"What? No. I just . . . Things didn't go well at the party."
“Where is Liam? Why hasn't he seen you home?" He looks around as though expecting Liam to pop out from somewhere.
I snort. "Ha! He's busy."
"Do I need to sort him out, Rosie?"
"What? No! No, it's okay. I just want to go to my room without Mum and Dad seeing me. I don't want them to know I'm upset. Dad will be worried, and Mum will just be, well . . . Mum."
He nods. "I get it. Don't worry. I'll tell them I picked you up and that you're chilling in your room."
I sigh. "Thanks, big bro."
I look at my phone and hand it to him. "Here. Just in case I'm tempted to phone or text someone. Give it back to me in the morning."
He frowns at me but takes it anyway. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'll be fine, Russ. Just normal, teenage girl stuff for a change. Nothing like last time. Okay?"
He looks relieved. "Okay, sis. You get up there."
I head to my room and take off my outfit, take my make up off, and look back at plain old Rosie in the reflection. Who did I think I was, running around, going to parties? Hot tub parties for crying out loud! I need just to hide back in the shadows where I belong. I lie back, put my music on, and listen to depressing tunes for a while. I'll make myself snap out of it soon, but right now, I just want to wallow in self-pity.
I must fall asleep like that. When I recheck the time, it’s morning. I can hear everyone moving around downstairs. I sigh. I suppose I had better get on with my day. Sky. That's what I need, a good walk with Sky. I look at the time: 9:30. I'll have some breakfast then take her out on a big, long walk.
I get up just as I hear a knock on the door. "Come in."
It's Russ. "Hey. Morning . . . There's someone here to see you."
My heart sinks and soars at the same time. It's got to be him. I wonder if he's tried to phone me.
Before I can say anything, Riley pops her head around the door. "Hey, hun. Can I come in?"
She must see the confusion on my face. "Your brother messaged me from your phone, said you were upset about something? Thought you might need a friend."
Oh, God. Is she the sweetest thing or what? But how do I tell her? How do I tell her that I'm upset that the guy I liked kissed someone else when I thought he was into me? How do I tell her that when she wants him, too? This is just the worst situation. Russ, bless him, thought he was doing the right thing.
I look at him. "Thanks, Russ. That's nice of you."
He shrugs. "No problem."
Riley glances at him and smiles. He looks at her for a little too long. "Thanks for the lift."
"No problem." He smiles and leaves.
She comes in and sits on the bed with me.
"Lift? Russ brought you here?" I ask her.
"Yeah. He's so nice, Rosie. He messaged me to tell me you needed me and then offered to come and pick me up to bring me here."
Oh, he did, did he?
"He's the nicest guy," she adds.
“Yeah. A knight in shining armour that one," I say sarcastically. Nothing to do with the fact that my best friend is gorgeous. He needs to be careful with that. She's not even 16; he is 18, nearly 19. What's he playing at? I can't think about that right now. I've got enough problems to deal with.
"Thanks for coming over."
"Hey. No problem. Why didn't you ring me last night?"
I shake my head. "I-I couldn't."
"What happened at the party?"
I sigh and fill her in on the party, the kiss.
She looks at me blankly. "Had you agreed to stage a break-up or anything?"
I shake my head. "No. Not as far as I'm aware."
She shrugs. "He's out of order for that. He should have told you, but I don't get it. Why are you so upset about the kiss? I mean, he has an on-off thing with Chelsea all the time, and it’s not like you guys are really together." She looks confused.
I don't blame her. I'd be confused in her shoes. "Oh, Riley. I can't explain."
She stares at me for a moment. Then, I see realisation dawn in her eyes. "You like him."
Don't cry; don't cry.
I nod. "I tried not to. I tried just to keep it fake, but he's-he's just so nice, you know?"
"Yeah, Rosie. I do know. I like him, remember?" Her voice sounds hard. I've never heard it like that before. She's always so happy and kind. An uneasy feeling starts to build inside me.
"I'm sorry. I know you like him. I just couldn't help it."
"I thought you were my friend. I thought you were nice, but you've been kissing him and hanging out with him all this time, telling me it was an arrangement. And, you liked him all along?"
Oh, this is so bad; it sounds so wrong.
"I thought I could keep my feelings under control, not let them take over me."
"You knew how much I liked him, how much I hoped he'd notice me one day or whatever. And yeah, I know I'm living in a dream world, but a girl can hope. Then, she tells her friend all about it. She doesn't expect the friend to go after the guy she likes."
"I didn't mean to hurt you, Riley. It doesn't matter now anyway, does it? He's made how he feels perfectly clear. It has just been fake to him all along. I am an idiot."
"Yeah, you are," She barks. "In more ways than one."
"Please don't be mad at me."
"Sorry, Rosie, but it isn't all about you. No wonder girls were so mean to you at your other school if you treated them like this."
I gasp. "You-you can't mean that."
"It makes me wonder what exactly you did to them for them to be so mean to you. You obviously don't know what it means to be a friend, do you?" She stands up to leave.
"Please don't leave. Let's sort it out," I plead.
"There's nothing to sort out. What's been done can't be undone. I hope he's worth throwing a friend away for." She storms out.
I hear the front door close and then hear Russ's car. He must be taking her back home.
I burst into tears. This is all wrong; everything is going wrong. I just wanted to fit in at my new school, and I was doing fine. But then, Liam happened. I had a lovely friend in Riley, and I've just blown it. I've messed everything up.
After a while, I get up and go downstairs. Just as I'm heading towards the kitchen to face everyone, Russ opens the front door.
"How was she?" I ask.
"She was upset . . . What happened?"
I sigh. "I've just messed up big time, that's what. She's, like, the nicest person. She welcomed me into her group of friends and has been so nice, and now I've hurt her."
"Please tell me this isn't about Liam..."
"Do you want me to lie?"
"Oh, Rosie. What has he done?"
"Doesn't matter. It’s what I've done that's important. I fell for him when I knew I shouldn't. I couldn't help it, and now Riley hates me. I've been so selfish. I should have just turned Liam down right from the beginning."
He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "Give her a few days. She's pretty upset, but I'm sure, in a few days, she will have calmed down enough to hear you out."
I won't hold my breath, but he's only trying to help. "Thanks, Russ, and thanks for bringing her over. I know you were only trying to help."
"Yeah . . . Messed up on that one, didn't I?" He walks over and hugs me. "I know how strong you are, Rosie; sort it out. Do what needs to be done. You can handle anything after last year."
I hug him back and try not to cry again, grateful that someone has faith in me.
I get breakfast, make conversation with Mum, and get out of the kitchen as fast as I can. I grab my phone and head upstairs to get ready to take Sky out. I check my phone. I have so many messages.
Harper: Are you okay, hun?
Harper: Liam just came downstairs looking for you. I told him what you'd seen. Arse.
There are messages between Russ and Riley which just make me feel bad.
Then Liam: It's not what you think.
I need to speak to you.
Can I see you?
Answer me, please. Let me explain.
There are three missed calls from him. I'm glad I didn't have my phone. I might have caved and spoken to him.
I message him back:
Leave me alone. I take it from last night that our fake thing is over. See you at the bus stop Monday.
My phone rings straight away; it's him. I reject the call and then turn my phone off. I need to clear my head. I take Sky for the longest walk, trying to think things through, trying to think what my next move will be. I come to the conclusion that I need to not give up on Riley. I'm not going to lose a good friend over this; she needs to see that I'm not selfish. Alright, it might look like I've been super selfish, but I can prove her wrong. I also need to speak to Liam, clear the air before school because the last thing I need is him talking to me on the bus on Monday when everyone can hear.
I need to cut all ties with Liam. He won't be bothered anyway. He has Chelsea to keep him busy.
I decide to call around at his house, see if he's in, and just hope to goodness his mum isn't there.
