14

DOCTOR’S ORDERS

“Now, Ellis, there’s no need to worry,” Dr. Carmichael said in soothing tones.

“No need to worry?” Ellis tried to steady her hands, gripping the edges of her skirt as she struggled to stay still in the chair. “I’m having these thoughts, these nightmares, these dreams, and then I discover them to be made solid and real in my waking life as well? Why should I not worry, Doctor?”

“Because there is a simple explanation for all of these, my dear Ellis.” Dr. Carmichael sat across from her, leaning forward earnestly and patiently. They sat together in the sunroom on the south side of Hobson’s Inn, the shutters drawn against the storm outside and the door securely closed. Mrs. Hobson had allowed the doctor use of space as an examination room for his patients until such time as he could find more suitable accommodations in town, although Ellis wondered anew why the doctor had had a falling-out with Merrick to the extent that he had felt it necessary to leave the Norembega. “Our minds and our memories are far more fragile than most of us would like to believe. A little thing can upset them so radically and you have far more cause than most.”

“What cause, Doctor?” Ellis demanded.

“Now, Ellis.” Carmichael pulled back, settling against the back of his chair. “You know you must not push so hard to recover your memories—”

“No, Doctor,” Ellis insisted. “Tell me what has happened to me. Tell me why I cannot remember my life before except in nightmares that suddenly threaten me when I’m awake. Tell me why I dream of roses at night only to cut my feet on their thorns during the day.”

“You know that such things cannot be real,” the doctor said carefully.

“Would you care to examine the cuts?” Ellis replied.

“In due time,” the doctor sighed. “I do not doubt that they are there, my dear girl … only how they might have gotten there. Tell me, do you feel safe here?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Ellis could not stop blinking, as though there were dust in her eyes that refused to dislodge.

“I mean here in this room.” The doctor let his head fall back to rest against the back of his chair. He gazed at the ceiling, pressing his fingertips together as he spoke. “It’s a pleasant place. There are plants in the corners that are tended to by Mrs. Hobson each day. The lamplight is warm and peaceful. It is only the two of us here in the room and Jenny is just beyond those closed doors in the parlor. The rain is falling against the windows, but we’re warm and dry in here. So, my question is do you feel safe here in this room?”

Ellis’s breathing relaxed into a steady and relaxed rhythm as the doctor spoke. “I suppose I do … as safe as anywhere.”

Dr. Carmichael smiled sadly. “Then perhaps I may ask you a few questions that may help us both. This dream you had last night … do you remember it?”

“Entirely too vividly.” Ellis shook visibly.

“You feel certain that you were awake?”

“Yes, I am certain of it.”

“I have heard that some dreams can be that way,” Dr. Carmichael said as much to himself as to her.

What a strange way of putting it, she thought.

“And in this dream, what were you wearing?”

“My dress.”

“Anything else?”

Ellis knitted her brow. “What … I don’t understand what—”

“Were you wearing anything more than your dress?” the doctor asked, still staring up at the ceiling.

“No shoes or stockings, if that’s what you mean.” Ellis flushed as she answered. “Really, Doctor, I don’t see what this has to do with my problem. Frankly, your examination technique is most peculiar and—”

“Your case is most peculiar, Ellis.” Carmichael’s head snapped forward, his bright eyes fixing on the woman as though to pin her to the back of her chair. “But I think there is a technique that can help you and I believe the time has come to attempt it. It’s been used with great effect by those who have studied it under Dr. Bernheim at his school in Nancy—”

“Hypnosis?” Ellis asked.

“No doubt you’ve heard of it.” The doctor smiled, his voice calming and quiet. “Word of this technique has been making its way around my circles with great interest. I believe it would allow us to explore some of those dark corners of your mind, Ellis, shine some light on them and, I trust, help you to properly remember them as well. Do you trust me, too, Ellis? Do you trust Uncle Lucian?”

Ellis’s breathing slowed and she sighed deeply. The doctor was looking into her eyes so kindly. “Of course, Doctor.”

“Uncle,” he corrected.

Ellis smiled. “Yes, Uncle.”

Dr. Carmichael leaned forward slowly, taking up her left arm in his right hand as he gazed deeply into her eyes. “Relax, Ellis. You are safe here. Just keep watching me.”

He reached up, his hand resting gently on the nape of her neck.

His eyes are such an interesting green.

The world receded.

Her breathing slowed.

 

 

Ellis’s eyes were closed as she sat in the chair.

Dr. Carmichael’s mask of the kindly physician fell as he straightened up to stand before the entranced woman. His green eyes had gone cold as he gazed down at her, considering for a moment what he should do next. It was not a question of what he wanted—it had never been about what he wanted—so much as whether he dared to want something for himself at all. He was tired of being here, tired of failing, tired of being forgotten and abandoned. He had come to Gamin full of purpose, but somehow it had gone all wrong and now his patron had abandoned him here.

He had to find a way back into his patron’s favor.

Sitting before him was the key to all his problems and he did not know how much time he had to learn what he needed to know.

“Ellis,” he said at last after he had made up his mind. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” she answered with a distant quality in her voice.

“Ellis, I need you to go back in your mind. I need you to remember a time long ago.”

“There was a ship,” Ellis said, her voice choking as pain crossed her features. “Everyone was running toward the harbor. The children were laughing as they ran down the streets—”

“No, Ellis, before that, long before that,” Dr. Carmichael said, impatience seeping into his voice. “Long ago, when you were in Gamin from the first time.”

“I can’t go back,” Ellis sighed. “We can never go back. That’s what he said. We can only go forward.”

“No, no, Ellis,” Carmichael urged. “Remember. You were here in Gamin before.”

“I wasn’t happy.” Ellis frowned, her eyes still closed. “I didn’t know how to be happy. I didn’t know sadness … or pain. None of us knew how—”

“Yes, that’s right,” Carmichael urged. “Where were you when you learned pain, Ellis? Where were you before you learned pain?”

“There … I was being chased through a field in the moonlight. There was a creature there in the darkness, a terrible man of shadow, night and talons. There were briars in the dream and a little church that offered me no sanctuary from the monstrous void that followed. And there was a … a gate—”

“A gate! Yes!” The doctor leaned forward, resting his hands on her arms, his face within inches of hers. “Tell me about the gate.”

“It was bright.” Ellis breathed in deeply. “We weren’t supposed to play on it.”

“Where is the gate, Ellis?” Carmichael insisted, his mouth dry as he spoke the words. “Can you see it?”

“I … don’t know,” she breathed, shaking her head, agitated. “It’s hard to see.”

“You were there,” the doctor seethed. “Tell me what you see!”

“It’s so bright and terrible.”

“What’s around you?” the doctor raged, the locks of his white hair falling down across his reddening face as his frustration mounted. “Don’t look at the gate! Tell me what else you see around you!”

“It’s too pretty and awful.” Ellis pouted beneath her closed eyelids. “Someone moved on the other side. He was so familiar. I couldn’t see who he was, so I went closer.”

“Go back,” the doctor demanded. “Go back further!”

“We can’t go back.”

“Earlier still, before the gate!”

“We can only go forward. He called me through the gate and said we could only go forward.”

“Damnation!” Carmichael stood upright, his fists clenched so tightly that they drained what little color remained from under his papery, pale skin. His breath was ragged as he looked down at his patient.

“Forward it is, then, Ellis,” the doctor commanded, his voice hoarse. “Come forward for now, but we’ll try again, you and I, to go back. I’ll dissect your soul if I must to get my answer. If I have to stake you to a table and take you apart vein by vein, drop by drop and sinew by sinew, I’ll have my answer. I’d cut the eyes out of your skull if I could through them see where you have been, my dear. Come forward through the gate and back again … back to the train that brought you to me and Summersend and…”

Dr. Carmichael paused.

“Back to last night,” he said, lowering himself into his chair opposite Ellis, who sat still in her trance. He sneered as he settled into the chair. If he could not get what he wanted from her perhaps he could at least have some amusement. “Back to waking from your slumber. Tell me what happened.”

Ellis opened her mouth to speak.

“Better still,” the doctor commanded. “Show me.…”

 

 

Ellis tugged at her skirt, which was well above her knees. “I’m sorry, Dr. Carmichael; my mind seems to have wandered.”

“It’s quite all right, my dear,” he said with a pleasant smile. “How do you feel?”

“Why, I feel remarkably better,” Ellis admitted with a smile. “Although a bit confused. Is the examination over?”

“Yes, my dear, we are quite finished,” Carmichael said as he stood at the sideboard washing his hands in the basin and reaching for the small towel next to it. “The confusion you’re feeling is normal for this sort of treatment and I think I can give you a partial diagnosis at this point. Would you like to have Jenny join us for our little talk?”

“Oh yes.” Ellis smiled pleasantly. “I’d like that very much.”

Dr. Carmichael stepped to the pocket doors, unlatched them and slid one of them back partially into the wall recess. “Jenny, would you care to join us now?”

Jenny slipped through the door past Dr. Carmichael. She rubbed her twisted right hand in front of her with her left, a sure sign that she was worried. “Is it bad news, Uncle Lucian? I’ve been so worried.”

“Not at all,” the doctor said, pulling a chair from the corner of the room and setting it down next to Ellis. He motioned for Jenny to sit in it. “In fact, I should say we have made excellent progress.”

“Oh, Uncle.” Jenny beamed. “That is a relief!”

“Yes, indeed.” Dr. Carmichael settled easily into his own chair facing the two young women. “Our dear Ellis is suffering from a condition induced by a traumatic event. These so-called ‘physical manifestations’ are merely tricks of the brain trying to compensate for recollections and memories which her mind is not yet prepared to face.”

“But the rose thorns—”

The doctor smiled gently and held up his hand as he spoke. “Those thorns and the rose were most likely placed there by you, Ellis, and quite possibly that same night as your dream. That you cannot remember them is not surprising; your mind has simply put away that memory. These mysterious appearances and so-called supernatural occurrences are tricks of your own mind. These are phantom memories, created by your mind in the false belief that they are protecting you from the truth.”

“But I’m not making these up, Doctor!”

“You believe that you are not making these up,” Carmichael affirmed. “And in the view of your mind these events are unexplained. What you need to keep in mind is that these things are not real, Ellis; they are only manifestations of your mind trying to heal after witnessing something you’re not yet ready to face. Now that we understand the problem, however, we can deal with it. You do feel better now, don’t you, Ellis?”

Ellis took in a long, deep breath before she answered. “Yes, Uncle, I feel ever so much better.”

Jenny looked at Ellis in concern. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Yes, Jenny, there is,” the doctor said in his most kindly voice. “Help Ellis keep her mind off of her troubles. Some recreational hobbies would be most helpful. It will keep her occupied and allow her mind to heal itself in its own good time.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” Ellis said as she stood up. “You’ve been most kind.”

“Not at all,” Dr. Carmichael replied as he stood as well to bid the young women farewell. “In the meantime, I am always available for additional hypnosis sessions anytime you feel the need.”