Notes

1. What is the difference between the words empathic and empathetic? Right now, they’re undergoing a definitional shift, and it is becoming normal in scientific research to use the word empathic instead of empathetic. However, the two words are interchangeable, as the words sympathy and empathy tend to be. I prefer the word empathic because it relates more specifically to empaths, whereas the word empathetic tends to refer to the process of using empathy.

2. I explore our centuries-long distrust and fear of emotions in my book The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You. I track this dysfunction throughout human cultures; in philosophy; in religions and spiritual traditions; in the scientific and industrial revolutions; and into compulsory schooling, modern medicine, psychotherapy, and psychiatry. Our deep troubles with emotions are everywhere you look, but luckily, many multidisciplinary theorists are doing wonderful work to bring emotions out of the shadows once again. This book is a part of my continuing contribution to that work.

3. Altruism is one concept that is making the study of empathy very contentious, because it is currently being looked at through a contested avenue of Darwinist thought that assumes self-interest at every level, from the selfish genes of Richard Dawkins’ (and others) ideology to the self-centered, winner-take-all frame that some political thinkers assert as the natural truth of human behavior. In these ideologies, empathy and altruism are often viewed with deep suspicion, and this suspicion has actually impeded empathy research for many decades. Accordingly, some of the most interesting research on empathy has been done not on humans, but on the great apes, by primatologist Frans de Waal. If you read empathy research done on humans, you’ll empathically sense a thread of defensiveness about the altruistic nature of empathy, because when they research empathy, many scientists have to confront the faction of Darwinists who think that empathy and altruism can only exist in relation to what the central actor is getting out of it. For a startling take on the subject, which proposes an empathy-requiring theory of group selection and evolution instead of individual selection, read Edward O. Wilson’s The Social Conquest of Earth (Liveright Publishing, 2012). The story of evolution, empathy, and altruism is still being written.

4. For instance, in the work of German researcher Doris Bischof-Köhler and American researcher Allison Gopnik, among others

5. McLaren, Karla. “Are Men Less Able to Feel Emotions?” March 24, 2010. http://karlamclaren.com/are-men-less-able-to-feel-emotions/.

6. You’ll run smack into this valencing if you observe children’s toys and clothing: girls get pink, lacy, movement-inhibiting clothes that openly suggest that their work in life is to become pretty and alluring. Beyond the age of two, it’s hard to find building toys, math toys, or intellect-developing toys aimed at girls; it’s all princesses, ponies, makeup, jewelry, and playing house. If girls want to run and play hard or learn to fight with a sword, they’re going to have to shop in the boys’ section, and their wishes will probably be challenged as unfeminine. Boys, on the other hand, get blue, rugged, activity-enhancing clothes that tell them their work is to be active and tough. From early infancy onward, boys are encouraged to use their bodies, build things, and learn to fight with as many different weapons as possible. If boys want to create art, or care for animals and babies, or learn to cook, they’re going to have to shop in the girls’ section, and their wishes might be challenged as unacceptably feminine, or flat-out refused.

7. British psychopathologist Simon Baron-Cohen claims that autistics are unempathic due to a malfunction in their mirror neurons. However, in 2007, Swiss neuroscientists Henry and Kamilla Markram and colleague proposed the “intense world theory” of autism, in which the central focus was on autistic hypersensitivity, rather than on a lack of awareness or insensitivity. Then, in 2010, Israeli neuroscientist Ilan Dinstein and colleagues studied mirror neuron responses in autistic adults and found them to be normal. Dinstein proposed that autism might not have anything to do with mirror neurons, but might instead involve “noisy brain networks” that scramble incoming sensory data, making the deciphering of social input more difficult (but not due to any lack of empathic capacity). Added to this is the writing of autistic youth and adults themselves, which clearly chronicles their intense emotional and social sensitivities. For some excellent first-person accounts of autism and empathy, see AutismandEmpathy.com, a site created by autistic advocate Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg.

These more inclusive inquiries are helping us understand that hypersensitivity and sensory integration issues make social cues harder to read and organize for many autistic people, which is why it can appear that some autistic people lack empathy. They don’t; in fact, hyperawareness of others (and of multiple sensory aspects of their surroundings) can cause such overwhelm that many autistic people will shut down in order to self-regulate. This can appear unempathic, but it’s usually a function of hypersensitivity and, often, hyperempathy.

8. When I use the word autistic as a descriptor, rather than saying “person with autism,” I am following the lead of the autistic advocates who are framing their struggle as one of civil rights and fundamental identity (rather than disease). However, if you and I were talking together, and you preferred another way of describing your own autism, then I would certainly defer to your wishes. For a good community discussion of this choice of terminology, see www.journeyswithautism.com/2012/04/25/theproblem-with-person-first-language/ and www.thinkingautismguide.com/2011/11/person-first-language-why-it-matters.html.

9. “Ableism is a form of discrimination or prejudice against individuals with physical, mental, or developmental disabilities that is characterized by the belief that these individuals need to be fixed or cannot function as full members of society (Castañeda & Peters, 2000). As a result of these assumptions, individuals with disabilities are commonly viewed as being abnormal rather than as members of a distinct minority community (Olkin & Pledger, 2003; Reid & Knight, 2006). Because disability status has been viewed as a defect rather than a dimension of difference, disability has not been widely recognized as a multicultural concern by the general public as well as by counselor educators and practitioners.” Smith, Laura, Pamela F. Foley, and Michael P. Chaney, “Addressing Classism, Ableism, and Heterosexism in Counselor Education,” Journal of Counseling & Development 86 (2010): 303–309. From http://disabledfeminists.com/2010/11/19/what-is-ableism-five-things-about-ableism-you-should-know/, accessed August 10, 2012.

10. Criminal behavior is socially defined, and identified criminals are even more socially defined by their lack of access to money, influence, and social capital, not to mention their racial characteristics, which determine in large part whether they will be arrested and charged or enter into the criminal justice system at all. I have strong empathic reservations about the whole category of psychopathy, since definitions change based on the source, while researchers and clinicians disagree about antisocial personality disorder, narcissism, and borderline traits. To my eye, the entire subject is rife with problematic interpretations of antisocial behaviors that might also be applicable to, for instance, outsiders, disabled people, minorities, artists, monks, geniuses, and visionaries.

11. For a grounded and humane discussion of psychopathic personalities and treatment options, Dr. Nancy McWilliams’s Psychoanalytic Diagnosis: Understanding Personality Structure in the Clinical Process (Guilford Press, 2011) is a wonderful resource. In it, McWilliams notes that two powerful underlying motivations for people with psychopathic tendencies are (1) not to appear weak and (2) not to feel any envy (see my empathic description of envy). In terms of impediments to the development of empathy in children, there’s a tragic early condition that can arise when babies aren’t attended to skillfully or empathically. In some children, poor or unskilled early nurturing (and, of course, abuse) can interfere with secure attachment and create a condition called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). RAD children don’t develop a sense of trust or reliance on their caretakers and often learn to manipulate them just to get their basic needs met. For a RAD child, love, closeness, and empathy may feel alien, untrustworthy, or even dangerous. One hypothesis is that RAD children who don’t receive early intervention might grow up to be distrustful and manipulative and might develop an almost pathological unwillingness to appear weak, needy, or envious. One hypothesis is that psychopathic people might have been children who learned how to survive without love, caring attention, or empathy.

12. American psychologist Robert Titchener coined the word empathy in 1909 (source: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/empathy/).

13. Vischer, Robert, et al. (reprint and translation from the original German). “On the Optical Sense of Form: A Contribution to Aesthetics.” Empathy, Form, and Space: Problems in German Aesthetics, 1873–1893 (Texts and Documents Series), pp. 89–123. Santa Monica, CA: Getty Center for the History of Art, 1993.

14. See my two-part essay “Empaths on the Autism Spectrum.” October 2011. http://karlamclaren.com/empaths-on-the-autism-spectrum-part-1/.

15. “Empathic accuracy is the measure of one’s skill in empathic inference [your ability to read the emotions, thoughts, and intentions of others].” From Ickes, W. (ed) (1997). Empathic Accuracy. New York, NY: Guildford Press, 1992 (p. 2).

16. The term display rules is from P. Ekman and W. V. Friesen. “The Repertoire of Nonverbal Behavior: Categories, Origins, Usage, and Coding.” Semiotica 1 (1969): 49–98.

17. Seubert, J. and C. Reganbogen. “I Know How You Feel: Good Social Skills Depend on Picking Up Other People’s Moods—A Feat the Brain Performs by Combining Numerous Sensory Cues.” Scientific American Mind, March/April 2012.

18. It also may have much to do with language acquisition, as research on deaf and blind children in Australia in 2004 suggested that emotion-recognition and emotion-understanding abilities were impaired in both populations, but that deaf and hearing-impaired children raised without a natural language (sign language) had the most trouble with both tasks, whereas children raised in a signing-rich environment had an easier time with them. For blind and visually impaired children, the ability to hear vocal tone and rhythm supported both emotional awareness tasks (and both abilities tended to be higher in visually impaired children than in hearing-impaired children); however, being unable to visually receive information about changes in gestures, positioning, and facial expressions impeded both emotion tasks. In general, these emotional impediments lessened over time (and with specific emotion-recognition and emotion-understanding training) in both populations. From Dyck, M. J., C. Farrugia, I. M. Shochet, and M. Holmes-Brown. “Emotion Recognition/Understanding Ability in Hearing or Vision-Impaired Children: Do Sounds, Sights, or Words Make the Difference?” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 45, no. 4 (2044): 789–800.

19. Bischof-Köhler, D. “Empathy and Self-Recognition in Phylogenetic and Ontogenetic Perspective.” Emotion Review 4, no. 1 (January 2012): 40–48.

20. Being a fiercely stubborn and scathing social critic helps cut through this endless emotional subterfuge, though I have no idea how I would know this, since my own childhood was one of delicate good manners and rainbow fairy tales—snort.

21. I have deep concerns about the way this distinction is being used to sort people into greater or lesser levels of humanity. For instance, in his book Zero Degrees of Empathy (Allen Lane, 2011), British psychopathologist Simon Baron-Cohen categorizes autistics as being affectively empathic yet cognitively impaired in empathy, and he places psychopaths on the opposite end of this continuum (where psychopaths allegedly have no capacity to empathize affectively but can do so cognitively). This theorizing is very alarming in its willingness both to brand people as psychopaths (which is a rare condition and not completely understood) and to continually exclude autistics from the realm of normal humanity. As a disability rights advocate and friend of many autistic youth and adults, I can’t state strongly enough how dangerous this theory is to the lives of autistic people, who are often wildly empathic rather than less so—both cognitively and affectively. As an empath, it is very easy to see that autistics are absolutely empaths (and often hyperempaths), though their sensory-processing differences can make their ability to decipher social cues problematic.

My problem with the categories of affective and cognitive empathy is certainly based on social justice (in that they are used to classify people as less than human), but it is also based on empathic awareness of the actual processes of empathy. In my experience, affective and cognitive empathy are not separate or separable states; rather, I see cognitive empathy as a function of affective empathy, in that you can’t effectively perform the process that some people identify as cognitive empathy unless you already have the capacity to feel what’s going on. In my view, the capacity to separate oneself from the direct feeling and to stand away from the direct experience (and to view it from a kind of emotional eagle’s-eye view) is a function of Emotion Regulation and Perspective Taking added to a preexisting capacity for Emotion Contagion. Simply put: if you can “cognitively” appreciate the emotional perspective of another, I propose that you already have the “affective” capacity to recognize, share, and understand emotions.

22. I’ve worked one-on-one with men in maximum-security prisons, including murderers and lifers—I actually looked for psychopathy—yet I didn’t find a lack of empathy there. I understand how vital it is to isolate cruel and brutal people from the rest of humanity, and to place them decidedly in a specific category of evil or irretrievable brokenness, but empathically speaking, I am not able to do so in ways that are intellectually and empathically grounded. I’m still studying this, as I have done since toddlerhood, when I endured years of extended physical contact with a person whose clear intention was to dehumanize, control, and harm me. I have strong empathic reservations about identifying seemingly unempathic people as nonhuman—especially since, through the everyday act of “othering” people, you and I can easily make ourselves scathingly unempathic about the plight of people we’ve identified as our enemies (or, hello, as psychopaths).

23. de Waal, F. The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society. New York: Harmony, 2009.

24. “Studies examining children’s concern for others had previously focused on babies’ sensitivities to people in distress. At the University of California, Berkeley, researcher Alison Gopnik wanted to find out when children discover that other people feel differently than they do—a prerequisite for empathy. . . . This ability to acknowledge other people’s feelings—even when they differ from your own—is essential to understanding when (and how) people want to be comforted. ‘To become truly empathic,’ Gopnik says, ‘you have to say not just “I feel your pain,” but “I feel your pain, and I know it’s not my own. I should be helping you, not myself.”’” From Whyte, J. E. “The Emergence of Empathy in Babies,” https://family.go.com/parenting/pkg-toddler/article-825641-the-emergence-of-empathy-in-babies-t/.

25. The episode, which was called “The Empath,” focused on a young mute woman who could physically pull the pain and disease out of others and into her own body. Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy were abducted and put through a series of tortures by alien scientists who wanted to see if the empath, Gem, would sacrifice her own health for the life of another. In the later series Star Trek: The Next Generation, a female officer named Deanna Troi was the ship’s counselor from an empathic and telepathic race called Betazoids. Like Spock before her, Troi was half-human, and much of her story revolved around trying to fit into both cultures—with the fully empathic and telepathic Betazoids, who didn’t require spoken language, and with the unempathic and nontelepathic humans, who regularly used language to avoid, hide, or lie about their emotions.

26. This section about Howard Gardner’s work first appeared on pages 39–41 in my book The Language of Emotions. There is some controversy about Gardner’s work because his categories of intelligence are not quantifiable, and many researchers feel that these categories can therefore only be looked upon as a kind of philosophical musing about how we define intelligence. That’s certainly the way I’m using Gardner’s work, but I’m also revisiting it here because it’s still the only approach to intelligence that includes emotional and social intelligences as valid and equal parts of cognition.

27. This reminds me of something I overheard in 2002 at a table full of yoga instructors at the famous Kripalu yoga retreat. I perked up immediately, because they were talking about how doing a very common pose absolutely correctly (the “downward dog” pose) could cause shoulder injuries in women. I was flabbergasted, because I had always heard yoga touted as a magical curative for every possible physical problem. As it turns out, yoga (and meditation) is just like everything else; you need to make sure that the process fits you and that you’re not being forced to fit into the process. If you get injured or you’re uncomfortable, but people blame you because you’re not doing it right, this is almost always a warning: you may be in the presence of true believers but not in the presence of a truly appropriate (for you) practice or technique.

28. Damasio, A. Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. New York: Picador, 1994 (pp. 192–194).

29. Damasio, A. Looking for Spinoza: Joy, Sorrow, and the Feeling Brain. New York: Harcourt, 2003 (pp. 152–155).

30. Damasio, A. The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness. New York: Harvest, 1999 (pp. 61–67).

31. McLaren, Karla. “Emotions: Action-Requiring Neurological Programs.” April 16, 2011. http://karlamclaren.com/emotions-action-requiring-neurological-programs/.

32. The full quiz (which focuses on anger, fear, sadness, shame, jealousy, envy, contentment, and anxiety) is in my interactive online course, “Emotional Flow: Becoming Fluent in the Language of Emotions” (Sounds True, 2012).

33. From my book The Language of Emotions:

The Difference between Guilt and Shame: In my early teens, I read a popular self-help book that branded guilt and shame as “useless” emotions. The book presented the idea that we’re all perfect, and therefore shouldn’t ever be guilt-ridden or ashamed of anything we do. That idea seemed very strange to me, so I went to the dictionary and looked up “guiltless” and “shameless” and found that neither state was anything to celebrate. To be guiltless means to be free of mark or experience, as if you’re a blank slate. It’s not a sign of intelligence or growth, because guiltlessness exists only in people who have not yet lived. To be shameless means to be senseless, uncouth, and impudent. It’s a very marked state of being out of control, out of touch, and exceedingly self-absorbed; therefore, shamelessness lives only in people who don’t have any relational skills. Both states—guiltlessness and shamelessness—helped me understand the intrinsic value of guilt and shame.

Fascinatingly, in a dictionary definition, guilt isn’t even an emotional state at all—it’s simply the knowledge and acknowledgement of wrongdoing. Guilt is a state of circumstance: you’re either guilty or not guilty in relation to the legal or moral code you value. You cannot feel guilty, because guilt is a concrete state—not an emotional one! Your feelings are almost irrelevant; if you did something wrong, you’re guilty, and it doesn’t matter if you’re happy, angry, fearful, or depressed about it. When you don’t do something wrong, you’re not guilty. Feelings don’t enter into the equation at all. The only way you could possibly ever feel guilty is if you don’t quite remember committing an offense (“I feel like I might be guilty, but I’m not sure.”). No, what you feel is shame. Guilt is a factual state, while shame is an emotion.

Shame is the natural emotional consequence of guilt and wrongdoing. When your healthy shame is welcomed into your psyche, its powerful heat and intensity will restore your boundaries when you’ve broken them yourself. However, most of us don’t welcome shame into our lives; we obscure it by saying “I feel guilty” instead of “I feel ashamed,” which speaks volumes about our current inability to identify and acknowledge our guilt, channel our appropriate shame, and make amends. This is the real shame, because when we don’t welcome and honor our free-flowing and appropriate shame, we cannot moderate our own behavior. We’ll continually do things we know are wrong—and we won’t have the strength to stop ourselves. In our never-ending shamelessness, we’ll offend and offend and offend without pause—we’ll always be guilty—because nothing will wake us to our effect on the world.

If we continue to use the incorrect statement “I feel guilty,” we’ll be unable to right our wrongs, amend our behaviors, or discover where our shame originated—which means we’ll be unable to experience true happiness or contentment (both of which arise when we skillfully navigate through any difficult emotion). If we don’t come out and correctly state “I’m ashamed of myself,” we’ll never improve. I’ll say it again before we go deeper: Guilt is a factual state, not an emotional one. You’re either guilty or not guilty. If you’re not guilty, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. However, if you are guilty, and you want to know what to do about the fact of your guilt, then you’ve got to embrace the information shame brings to you. (pp. 198–200)

34. However, there are seventeen emotional categories in The Language of Emotions. I’m omitting the suicidal urge from this list due to the amount of time it would take to explain it responsibly. I’ve included the suicidal urge and depression in the “Emotional Vocabulary List” in the Appendix, so that you’ll be able to identify suicidal ideation in others and know how to provide (or steer people to) support.

35. Because our English emotional vocabulary isn’t extensive, you’ll see that I had to combine many emotions in my vocabulary list. Anger and hatred are in the Anger category; fear, anxiety, and panic are in the Fear category; and so on. It’s hard to find enough English words to describe distinct gradations of many specific emotions!

36. McLaren, K. “How Much Emotion Is Too Much? (Revisited!)” May 25, 2011. http://karlamclaren.com/how-much-emotion-is-too-much-revisted/.

37. McLaren, K. “Is It a Feeling or Is It an Emotion? Revisited!” March 2, 2012. http://karlamclaren.com/is-it-a-feeling-or-is-it-an-emotion-revisited/.

38. Winerman, L. “Talking the Pain Away: Brain Research Indicates Putting Problems into Words Eases Emotional Distress.” Monitor on Psychology 37, no. 9 (2006).

39. This is a play off of Antonio Damasio’s designation of the “emotionally competent stimulus,” which he talks about in his book Self Comes to Mind: Constructing the Conscious Brain (Pantheon, 2010). I really appreciate Damasio’s concept of emotional stimuli, but the word competent didn’t encompass the lived experience of the emotive process for me.

40. McLaren, Karla. “Building Your Raft: The Five Empathic Skills.” The Language of Emotions. Boulder: Sounds True, 2010 (125–158).

41. McLaren, Karla. “Befriending Anxiety in 2011. Huzzah!” January 3, 2011. http://karlamclaren.com/befriending-anxiety-in-2011-huzzah/.

42. For instance, Ohio State neuroscientist Randy Nelson and colleagues found that relatively dim light sources during sleep (equivalent to a TV left on in a darkened bedroom) reduced cognitive speed, reduced activity in the hippocampus, and induced depressive behaviors in hamsters. One suggestion is that the light tricks the body into thinking that it is still daytime and that the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin doesn’t activate fully. Therefore, sleep is not as deep or restorative. From Fonken, L. K., E. Kitsmiller, L. Smale, and R. J. Nelson. “Dim Nighttime Light Impairs Cognition and Provokes Depressivelike Responses in a Diurnal Rodent.” Journal of Biological Rhythms 27 (2012): 319–327.

43. Orthorexia, or extreme healthy eating, was first defined by Steven Bratman, MD, in 1996 at http://www.orthorexia.com/about/.

44. See Dr. Levine’s books, audio learning sets, and online courses under the Trauma Healing heading in the Further Resources section.

45. My response about thresholds first appeared in an online newsletter in 2010 and was then included in the text portion of my online course Emotional Flow (Sounds True, 2012).

46. Weir, Kirsten. “Fickle Friends: How to Deal with Frenemies.” Scientific American Mind (June 16, 2011).

47. Wenner Moyer, Melinda. “Eye Contact Quells Online Hostility: Mean Comments Arise from a Lack of Eye Contact More Than from Anonymity.” Scientific American Mind (September 16, 2012).

48. Conscious Complaining with a Partner was created for a Kripalu workshop and first appeared on my website under the title “New Empathic Skills!” November 1, 2010. http://karlamclaren.com/new-empathic-skills/.

49. McLaren, Karla. “Stress Is a Weasel Word, and Maybe That’s Good!” May 15, 2012. http://karlamclaren.com/stress-is-a-weasel-word-and-maybe-thats-good/.

50. See Bal, P. M., and M. Veltkamp. “How Does Fiction Reading Influence Empathy? An Experimental Investigation on the Role of Emotional Transportation.” PLoS ONE 8, no. 1 (2013); Gabriel. S., and A. F. Young. “Becoming a Vampire without Being Bitten: The Narrative Collective-Assimilation Hypothesis.” Psychological Science 22, no. 8 (2012).

51. Green, J. A., P. G. Whitney, and M. Potegal. “Screaming, Yelling, Whining, and Crying: Categorical and Intensity Differences in Vocal Expressions of Anger and Sadness in Children’s Tantrums.” Emotion 11, no. 5 (2011): 1124–1133.

52. Kitten vs. a Scary Thing, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MqHN-4okZ4.

53. Radvansky, G. A., S. A. Krawietz, and A. K. Tamplin. “Walking through Doorways Causes Forgetting: Further Explorations.” The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology 64, no. 8 (2011): 1632–1645.

54. An early version of this piece on emotion work first appeared on my site as “An Introduction to Emotion Work.” March 6, 2010. http://karlamclaren.com/ an-introduction-to-emotion-work/.

55. Some people see the concept of meritocracy as problematic due to our strong privilege structures of race and class, which create and reinforce inequalities, such that a meritocracy might actually just be a collection of elite, white, educated, upper-class males who gained their skills in an unjustly segregated, class-based, and unequal society. See Chris Hayes’s Twilight of the Elites: America after Meritocracy (Crown, 2012) for an examination of this problem. When I refer to a meritocracy, I’m talking about an idealized version, in which the people who truly perform the job best get the job and then have real autonomy.

56. Milliken, F. J., E. W. Morrison, and P. F. Hewlin. “An Exploratory Study of Employee Silence: Issues that Employees Don’t Communicate Upward and Why.” Journal Of Management Studies 40, no. 6 (2003): 1453–1476.

57. My work on gossip began in a post called “A Holiday Gift for Your Emotions.” December 17, 2010. http://karlamclaren.com/a-holiday-gift-for-your-emotions/.

58. Waters, Tony. Bureaucratizing the Good Samaritan: The Limitations of Humanitarian Relief Operations. Boulder, CO: Westview Press, 2001.

59. Ariely, Dan. The Upside of Irrationality. New York: Harper, 2010, 237–241.

60. My three-party empathy model is a nod to Fritz Breithaupt’s discussion of three-person empathy; however, my terminology refers to complex group-level behaviors. See Breithaupt, Fritz. “A Three-Person Model of Empathy.” Emotion Review 4 (2012): 84.

61. McLaren, Karla. “How Do We Detoxify Our Natural Tendency to Create Us-versus-Them Conflicts?” (Facebook post). August 14, 2012. https://www.facebook.com/notes/karla-mclaren/how-do-we-detoxify-our-natural-tendency-to-create-us-versus-them-conflicts/10151111406133390.

62. De Dreu, C. K. W., S. Shalvi, L. L. Greer, G. A. Van Kleef, and M. J. J. Handgraaf. “Oxytocin Motivates Non-Cooperation in Intergroup Conflict to Protect Vulnerable In-Group Members.” PLoS ONE 7, no. 11 (2012); Rockliff, H., A. Karl, K. McEwan, J. Gilbert, M. Matos, and P. Gilbert. “Effects of Intranasal Oxytocin on ‘Compassion Focused Imagery.’” Emotion 11, no. 6 (2011).

63. Lalich., J., and K. McLaren. “Inside and Outcast: Multifaceted Stigma and Redemption in the Lives of Gay and Lesbian Jehovah’s Witnesses.” Journal of Homosexuality 57, no. 10 (2010).