CHAPTER FORTY

The carnage in Cwmmaen’s courtyard was even more horrifying in the light of day. No one had slept much the night before, but all the men appeared as soon as the first strains of sunlight poured over the horizon. From the looks on their faces, they immediately wished they hadn’t. Conor tied a strip of cloth over his mouth and nose, but it was little defense against the stench. And nothing could shield his eyes from the sight of decay, rotting corpses that should have been interred months ago.

“You don’t have to stay,” Talfryn said as they surveyed the scene. “This is not your responsibility. You have already done more than we could have asked.”

“Unless I plan on walking to Aberffynnon, I suppose I should help.” Conor shot Talfryn a crooked grin. “I still need a way to get there.”

“In that case, we should get to work. Ial went to the village to find more workers, and Master Glyn is taking a message to my brother, but it will be days before the men from Gwingardd arrive.”

Conor nodded and steeled himself for the task. Talfryn retrieved a handcart and several lengths of cloth, which they used to lift the bodies and transport them outside the fortress walls, where they would be buried. They’d already made half a dozen trips when Ial returned with an adolescent boy in tow. “My lord, look who I found in the village.”

“Emrys!” Talfryn exclaimed. “Where have you been?”

“I’m sorry, my lord. I know I shouldn’t have run, but they didn’t notice me.”

Talfryn took the boy by the arms. “No one is blaming you, Emrys. We just need to know what happened.”

The boy raised tear-filled eyes. “The Northmen attacked, my lord, after you and Lady Hyledd left Cwmmaen. We thought it was a cart from Lord Neryn, but they were hiding inside . . . and then they opened the gates . . .” His voice choked on tears.

Talfryn straightened and met Ial’s and Conor’s eyes in turn. “The cart with which I was captured. They used it to gain entry to the fortress.”

Conor’s chest seized. So this was his fault. Talfryn’s ploy to get himself captured in order to rescue him had directly led to the deaths of almost the entire household. He stepped away, struggling against the agony of guilt. Had he just obeyed Comdiu in the first place, none of this would have happened. Aine wouldn’t be lost, Talfryn’s guardsmen and servants would still be alive, and he wouldn’t have broken his vows to his wife.

“Conor, you can’t take responsibility for this,” Talfryn said. “I obeyed Comdiu. He spared me, my wife, Ial. If it weren’t for you, we would still be languishing beneath the sidhe’s glamour.”

It was a mark of Talfryn’s nobility that he voiced the sentiment —even more that he actually seemed to believe it. But it didn’t mitigate Conor’s responsibility in the situation. Once more, he had blood on his hands.

Even so, if the sidhe had gone to that much trouble to ensure that Conor remain in Gwydden under the influence of her glamour, he had no doubt about where he was meant to be.

That strange sensation in the back of his mind returned, this time less of a battering ram and more of a gentle tug.

Aye. I understand. I’m coming.

Conor worked quietly until the villagers arrived. Once the slain men were carried out and given a quiet burial, the villagers set to scrubbing the stones with water and lye, washing away the putrid evidence of a battle no one could remember. Conor retreated to the bathhouse and scrubbed himself raw.

One of Talfryn’s remaining servants brought Conor a change of clothes, just as fine as —if more practical than —the court attire he’d initially been given. He made his way back to the hall where Lady Hyledd was supervising the cleanup.

“My lord Conor.” She dipped her head in a gesture uncomfortably close to a bow. “Or should I call you Brother Conor?”

So Talfryn had told her. It hardly mattered now anyway. “Neither, my lady. I’m just Conor.”

“Somehow I doubt that.” The searching look she gave him pierced him through. “What will you do now?”

“Return to Seare. It’s clear to me that’s where I belong.”

“And what of Lady Aine?”

“I must entrust her to Comdiu.”

Hyledd settled onto the bench and patted the spot beside her. “Talfryn told me about everything you’ve been through in Seare. You’ve done everything in your power to ensure her safety. How can you give up now?”

Her words struck deep. She was trying to be helpful, but she couldn’t know how conflicted Conor already felt on the subject. “Please, my lady, know this is not an easy decision.”

“I’m sure it is not. You must do what you feel is right. You can take a horse and go to Aberffynnon or you can ride north to Forrais. Either way, my husband has promised you an escort.”

“Thank you, my lady. I will give that careful consideration.”

He rose and moved quickly back to his chamber, his heart heavy. Aine had been in danger more times than he could count, more often than not because of him. He should be relieved that he would be allowed to return to Seare and finish the task he’d been given, but he felt nothing but grief at the prospect of giving up on her.

Yet Seare still tugged at him, like the moon on the tides of the ocean.

Is this what You ask of me? To give up the one person I truly love? To sacrifice her for the good of my people? Are You so cruel?

He half-expected a lightning bolt to strike him for his impertinence, perhaps even wished for it, but his accusations were met with silence.

Conor avoided supper in the hall that night, instead staring up at the moon from the newly cleaned courtyard. Two months. Two months since he had married Aine, two months of not knowing if she lived or died. Now he thought she probably lived, but she might no longer be his. Even if the scene Briallu showed him was false, how long would she wait for him? How long would she resist the pressure of her clan to marry?

This choice might mean losing her forever.

But she would be alive. And there are others who need your help. Other wives, husbands, children, whose pain is as great as your own. Would you leave them to suffer when it is in your power to change things? You must do your duty.

The thought was far too rational and unselfish to have come from him, even if it sounded like his own conscience. Comdiu had a funny way of making Himself known.

I will not.

He didn’t sleep that night, tossing and turning in the drafty chamber. Had he not accused Comdiu of cruelty before, the first time he thought Aine was dead? Had Comdiu not had a greater purpose for him then?

I will not, he thought stubbornly, turning to face the stone wall.

But that tug grew steadily stronger the harder he resisted. What if this was the reason Comdiu had separated them? What if this was another test? He knew he was meant to reinstate the wards, help combat the evil that spread across Seare. Had Comdiu allowed all this —the shipwreck, the sidhe, the separation from Aine —just to get his attention?

His resistance fell from him. He should have learned long ago it was impossible to defy Comdiu’s plans. With a heavy sigh, he turned his heart toward heaven.

You have my attention, Comdiu. Command me.

Prince Neryn’s men arrived four days later, a full company of men with extra horses. Talfryn found Conor in his chambers, packing a change of clothing in a small knapsack and donning his weapons.

“I take it you’re leaving?”

“Aye. I’m going back to Seare.”

“What may I do for you, friend?”

“Transport to Aberffynnon and passage on a ship bound for Seare, if you’re willing.”

“Of course. We’d best leave now. You may need to spend the night in Aberffynnon anyway.”

Conor thrust out his hand. “Thank you. Your assistance is much appreciated.”

Talfryn grasped Conor’s arm and shook his head. “No. I owe you a debt greater than passage on a ship could ever repay. Know that you have a friend in Gwydden, my lord. If there is anything I can ever do for you, you need only ask.”

Conor bowed his head, overwhelmed by Talfryn’s words. He could have simply thanked Conor for his service as a man. Instead, he had thanked him as a prince. It would be touching if his guilt over leaving Aine were not so sharp.

And if Conor didn’t think he might someday have to call in the favor.