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Caleb and Maggie were silent until they reached the creek on the other side of town. It was Maggie who broke the silence. “This is awkward.”
The corner of Caleb’s mouth quirked up. “Yep. We talked a lot in our letters, but now that we’re together in person, neither of us can think of anything to say.”
Maggie nodded and remained silent, looking around at the light dusting of snow on the trees, bushes, and ground.
After another minute of silence, Caleb asked, “How was the trip?”
“Uneventful. The conductor was nice and the people on the train pretty much just left us alone.”
“That’s good.” Caleb picked at a scab on the back of his hand and took a shaky breath. “Are you sure you even want to consider a marriage with me?”
Maggie shifted the lacy cream shawl on her shoulders. “What do you mean? I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. Is there some reason I shouldn’t?”
Caleb’s jaw tensed up and he hurriedly put his hands behind his back. “I...I just don’t know if it’ll work out. We’re so different. You’re a strong Christian. I’m not a Christian. That didn’t work so great with Mama and Da’s marriage and it’s wrong according to the Bible. Then there’s the fact I really don’t think I’d be a good da for Rachel...”
Maggie held up her hands. “Just a minute, Caleb. Those letters you sent to Rachel are a perfect example of how good a dad you can be to her. I didn’t know she was struggling with some of those things until she wrote to you. And when I asked her about them, she said she would’ve told me, but she was more comfortable talking to a man about it. Even though you aren’t her dad yet, even though you aren’t a Christian yet, she still looks up to you as a father figure. And from your replies, I definitely think you will make an excellent father. The advice and encouragement you gave her was just what she needed.
“It might be awkward at first, just like it is with us, but I think you will do a wonderful job.” Maggie reached out and hesitantly put a hand on his arm. “Caleb, I will admit that I, too, have reservations about even considering marriage to you. But each time those reservations come up, God reminds me He put us in this place for a reason. Even if it was just to get Rachel and me out of Wheeling, God knew what He was doing.”
Caleb’s breath came in short gasps of air as he tried to grasp what Maggie was telling him. A headache started to form behind his eyes and he took two quick steps away from Maggie. He looked around to make sure nobody was remotely close to them. Then he remembered he had led her to a secluded spot just outside of town so they could talk in private.
“What if I can’t become a Christian? What if God won’t accept me because of what I’ve done? What then?”
Maggie smiled. “I don’t think that will happen. Have you been reading the Bible?”
Caleb nodded.
“Good. Did you read the three books I suggested?”
Caleb nodded again.
“How different are you from Abraham, the doubter and liar, or Paul, the murderer? What is this unpardonable sin you keep hinting at?”
“For all practical purposes, I killed Jed, three men, and one woman.”
Maggie squinted and crossed her arms. “How do you figure? Wasn’t Jed an outlaw?”
“Yes, but there’s more to it than that.” Caleb looked around, spotted the stumps he was looking for, and took Maggie’s hand. “Come over here and I’ll tell you.”
Caleb led Maggie to the stumps and they each settled onto one. “I know I haven’t told you much about my da or about Jed. Part of that was because it was too hard to talk about them and I wanted you to get to know me, not get scared of them.
“As I told you, Mama died giving birth to Jed. Because of that, Da held, and still holds, a grudge against Jed for killing his beloved wife, although I’ve long suspected there was more to it than that. In any case, Da never showed love to Jed. Instead, Jed was blamed for everything that went wrong. He was beaten by Da for any little thing that happened. If Anna or I tried to stop a beating, we would be threatened with the same beating or that Jed would get an extra beating. I was a coward and never stood up for Jed.
“On his fourteenth birthday, when Jed was big enough to defend himself, he beat Da almost to death and left without saying anything to Anna or me. If I would’ve gone after Jed right away instead of going for the doctor, Jed might still be alive today. Anna wouldn’t be grieving for the brother she lost, Jed wouldn’t have joined the outlaws, and I wouldn’t be guilty of his death.”
Caleb looked into Maggie’s eyes. “Now do you see why God would never let me into heaven?”
“No, I don’t,” Maggie stated bluntly. “If you would have gone after Jed, your da would have died from his injuries. And wasn’t it the letter Jed wrote just before his hanging that brought Anna back to church and eventually to become a Christian?”
“Well, yes, I suppose so. But, although I wasn’t directly involved in the hanging, I basically killed another man, too.”
“Was there something you could have done to stop it?”
“No, but...”
Maggie leaned forward. “There are no ‘buts’ about it, Caleb. You did the best you could. Could you have made a difference? Maybe. Could God have worked things out differently? Yes. But look at all you’ve learned through these experiences. Look at all the good that’s happened because of your ‘failures.’ I think you are closer to God now than you ever could have been if you had done things the way you wish you could have done them.”
Caleb stared at the trees in the distance. “Did you and Miles talk about this?”
Maggie blinked. “No, why?”
“I kind of talked to Miles about it this week and he said almost the same thing.”
Maggie smiled. “Maybe God’s just trying to get it through that thick skull of yours that He really will accept you, despite your shortcomings.”
“Maybe. And now you’re sounding like Anna.” Caleb forced a smile to his face and Maggie laughed.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, Caleb.” She smiled at him before taking a closer look around them. “Is that the schoolhouse?” She pointed at a square, white building in the near distance.
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t look very big.”
“Doesn’t need to be. There aren’t all that many children around here who go to school.”
Maggie nodded. “Do you know if there are any girls Rachel’s age?”
Caleb squinted his eyes and frowned slightly. “Can’t say as I do. John would know.”
They sat in silence, listening to the sounds of nature around them.
As Maggie watched the creek trickle past them, Caleb took the opportunity to look at her and study her profile. Though thin, she was well built and attractive. He could see why she’d gotten so many proposals. But even if she hadn’t been so beautiful on the outside, he knew he would still have been attracted to her. She had an inner strength and beauty he envied, and he contrasted it with the outwardly beautiful women he’d known.
The picture of one young woman, standing alone in the middle of a battlefield, came to mind. As soon as it entered, he shoved it out and stood up.
Maggie looked up at him. “Is something wrong?”
Caleb kept his back to her and tried to keep his voice steady. “No. Why would you think that?”
“You seem rather tense and you’re not looking at me.”
Her skirts rustled as she stood up and a small patch of snow melted under her foot as she stepped toward him.
Caleb closed his eyes to try to regain his previous calm, but the outline of the other girl was all he could see.
“What is it?” Maggie whispered.
“Nothin’. Just a bad memory. I was thinkin’ about your inner strength and beauty and it brought back to mind another similar woman.”
“A young woman who rejected you?” Maggie asked.
“No, I’ve never courted anyone.”
Maggie took another step forward and looked into his face. After seeing the tortured look come back in his eyes, she decided not to pry. “Are you ready to head back?”
Caleb blinked his eyes rapidly and breathed in a long gulp of air. He turned toward Maggie. “Sure.”
It was a silent walk back, but this time it was a more comfortable silence. God, Maggie prayed as she watched Caleb from the corner of her eye, help Caleb realize Your love and acceptance. Help him open up about these memories that haunt him so. And give both of us wisdom. We need it desperately.
After Caleb, Maggie, and Rachel left and John and James were in bed, Anna sat in the armchair mending John’s socks and thinking about Maggie and Rachel.
“What did you think of Maggie?” Miles asked.
Anna looked up at him as he stood in the doorway. “She seems really sweet, though she looks exhausted.”
Miles nodded and sat down across from Anna. “I agree. I’m afraid of what would have happened had she stayed in Wheeling.”
Anna frowned. “Why can’t people take care of the widows and orphans like the Bible says?”
“Because they can’t be bothered to notice when someone is struggling, let alone do something about it.”
Anna sighed. “I suppose. Rachel seemed to get along well with John and James. Well, James, I should say. She still has to convince John she isn’t so bad for a girl.”
Miles chuckled. “I loved her challenge to him about fishing, rock skipping, and playing in the mud. I think it’ll be good for John to get bested by her.”
Anna smiled. “I definitely agree.”
They sat silently for a few minutes.
“Do you think Caleb will become a Christian anytime soon?” Miles asked.
Anna shrugged. “I have no idea. I’ve never been able to read his mind and he always thinks things through thoroughly before deciding on anything.”
Miles nodded. “I hope he does. From what I could tell, him and Maggie are a good match.”
“And I think Caleb is already in love with Maggie. I don’t know Maggie well enough to know if she is in love with him, but it can’t be that hard to fall in love with someone so gentle and kind as Caleb, can it?”
Miles laughed. “I wouldn’t know.”
Anna stifled a yawn and set the newly mended sock aside. “I think I’ll get to bed a little early. It’s been a tiring day.”
Miles stood up and held out his hand to Anna. “May I join you, Mrs. Jenkins?”
Anna took his hand and allowed him to pull her out of the chair and into his arms. “You might be able to persuade me, Mr. Jenkins.”
Caleb was glad there was little to do this time of year for the farm. With him being so distracted and how much time he had been taking to do simple things, he was surprised his da hadn’t protested more. And now he was about to present Maggie and Rachel to his da.
Caleb’s stride toward town was slow, but he still seemed to reach the boarding house porch in record time. Looking up, he saw two lovely ladies waiting for him. He bounded up the steps and held out a hand to each of them. “May I have the pleasure of escorting you to my farm?” He smiled when they both giggled. Both of the young ladies put a hand to his arms and the three of them set off at a brisk pace to the farm.
“The hills are beautiful here,” Maggie said.
Caleb looked at her. “Don’t you have hills in Ohio?”
“Sure, but these hills seem more hilly, and even though the grass is mostly covered in snow, I think they’ll be more green. Plus, we lived in town, and there weren’t many hills there.”
“And Wheeling was too big to really see the hills when you were in the city,” Rachel said.
“So you had to go into the country to see any hills?” Caleb asked.
Rachel nodded. “Yep, and we never really had time, or daylight, to do it either.”
“What do you think of the country, now that you are here?”
“I love it!” Rachel replied. “The air is so clear and fresh. Everything has so much color and the buildings aren’t full of grime and dust.” She let go of Caleb’s arm and spun around in front of them, her arms held wide. “It’s sooo beautiful here! I never want to leave!” She stopped spinning and faced Caleb and Maggie, her eyes twinkling. “When you two are married, I’ll be able to stay here, too, right?”
Maggie smiled. “We have to decide for sure that we’re going to get married first, Baby Girl.”
Caleb bit his cheeks to hold in the grin. “Your mother is right. And you would have to find a hometown boy to marry, too. I doubt you’ll be wanting to live with the two of us for the rest of our lives.”
Rachel cocked her head and started to walk backwards as the couple caught up to her. “I suppose. But that shouldn’t be too bad. As long as he’s a Christian and loves God more than he loves me.”
Caleb looked away and swallowed hard. They talked about Christianity so easily. It was as if it were second nature to them. How could they do that? Of course, Miles and his boys did the same thing. Even Anna did now.
He looked up again. “Here’s the path to the house,” he said. “I don’t know if Da will be in the house or not. If he’s not, do you mind meeting him in the barn?”
Rachel’s eyes went wide. “We could actually see what it looks like inside the barn?”
Caleb grinned. “You can see the barn even if Da isn’t in there. You’ve never seen the inside of a barn before?”
“No, but I’ve always wanted to.”
Maggie laughed. “She definitely takes after her mother with her love of all things country. She couldn’t care less about the latest fashions. On the other hand, she would want to know every detail about the new horse the mayor bought.”
Caleb shook his head in amusement as he stepped up onto the porch. He opened the door for Maggie and Rachel to step through. “Da, we’re here,” he called. Not a sound was heard except their own breathing and footsteps on the wood floor.
“Not too bad, considering two bachelors have been living here for two weeks all by themselves,” Maggie said, looking around the room.
Caleb blushed. “Anna comes by once in a while to check on us and do a little cleaning.”
“Ah, that would help,” Maggie said with a wink.
Caleb cleared his throat. “Da must be in the barn.”
“Is this the house we’ll be living in?” Rachel asked.
“No, I’m building one up the hill and a little past the fields. It’s not quite finished yet, though, so I won’t be showing it to you today.”
Rachel looked disappointed, but quickly recovered and said, “Okay, let’s get out to the barn and meet my soon-to-be grandpa.”
Rachel led the way outside and Caleb held Maggie back. “Does she really expect Da to be a grandpa to her?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know. All of her grandparents are dead so she might be. But, she also doesn’t really know what a grandfather is supposed to be like.”
“Good, because I doubt Da will be very receptive to her, especially with all her talk about God.”
Maggie nodded and Caleb picked up their pace so they would arrive at the barn just behind Rachel.
“Da?” Caleb called when he stepped into the dim light of the barn.
“Back here, Son,” Iain called.
“I brought Maggie and Rachel to meet you, Da. Could you please come out and meet them?”
Iain grumbled as he pushed himself up. “Coming.”
Caleb grimaced at the disheveled man who stood up in the farthest stall. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Da, I’d like you to meet Maggie and Rachel McDougall. Maggie, Rachel, this is my da.”
Rachel ran forward and wrapped her arms around Iain’s waist. “I couldn’t wait to meet you, Mr. Stuart! It was almost as hard to wait to meet you as it was to meet your son.”
Iain looked down at the young lass and saw the twinkle in her eyes, and behind them, a deep sadness. His voice was gruff and harsh when he spoke, “I ain’t much to meet. Don’t know why you’d want to meet me.”
He slipped her hands off of him and stepped forward to face Maggie. “So yer the gal daft enough to marry me son. Good luck to ye.”
Iain turned to his son. “I met ’em. If ye really want to be saddled with a daft woman and a lass I donna care. Don’t ken why ye wanted me to meet them afore the wedding.” He stumbled past the three stunned people and to the house.
Caleb, Maggie, and Rachel watched, their mouths open in astonishment.
“Well, you did warn us he was...different,” Maggie said.
Caleb looked from her to Rachel. “I guess I did. I didn’t think he’d be this bad, though.”
Rachel stared at the door leading to the kitchen, oblivious to what Caleb and Maggie were saying. God, soften Mr. Stuart’s heart and help him come to You, please. He’s a bitter old man who’s going to kill himself if he’s not careful. She looked over to Caleb and Maggie who had wandered to one of the stalls to look at a horse. Did they know Mr. Stuart had been drinking before they arrived? She decided it wasn’t her place to tell on him.
“So this is a horse,” Rachel said as she walked over to join the courting couple, a teasing tone in her voice.
“Yes, Ma’am,” Caleb drawled. “This here animal is a horse.” He patted the horse on the nose and the horse nuzzled his hand. “But this ain’t just any ol’ horse. This horse is special. She was raised and broken by my sister.”
“What’s her name?” Rachel asked as she held out her hand to the horse.
“Cheeky,” Caleb said with a straight face.
“Cheeky?” Maggie asked, disbelief in her voice.
Caleb shrugged. “Apparently she has a cheeky personality, so Anna named her Cheeky.”
Rachel’s laugh filled the barn with the sweet music of innocent joy.
Caleb gave Maggie and Rachel a tour of the farm, as much as he could with it being a little chilly. At least it hadn’t snowed much. He showed them the house he was building from a distance, not ready to show them the inside yet. Not until they were at least engaged.
By the time the tour was finished, it was lunch time and Caleb walked back with them to town. “Shall we eat together? Do you think Mrs. Howard would mind?”
“As long as you pay for your meal, she won’t mind,” Maggie answered.
“Then let’s get to the boarding house. I’m starved.” Caleb winked at Rachel and she grinned back at him.
“Didn’t you say something about not being a good father to Rachel?” Maggie asked.
“Did I say that?”
“Yes, you did.”
“And?”
“I was right, I think you will be a wonderful father to her.” Maggie looked away as she realized what she had just said.
“If we get married, that is,” Caleb corrected.
“Yes, of course.”
“You will,” Rachel said. “I just know it.”
Caleb harrumphed. “Why is it that ten year olds always seem to know more than their parents?”
Rachel cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
“John’s almost ten and he’s the one who told Anna and Miles they were supposed to marry each other.”
Rachel giggled. “Maybe it’s because we know what God says better than adults do because they have so much more to worry about. Childlike faith and all that.”
Caleb looked at her with an almost blank stare. “Maybe,” he said. They walked on in silence until reaching the boarding house “Here we are.” He let Rachel take the lead and held the door open for both of the ladies before stepping in.
