There are obviously a million possible reasons why you picked up this book, but we would hazard a guess that a big part of it is because, right now, you could do with some real strength. We’d like to point out that that alone – the fact you are on the hunt for things to help yourself in your current situation – indicates you are already stronger and more resilient than you think. Being able to seek support is an important part of building strength.
‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’ or so the saying goes. And this is possibly what this book is about in a nutshell. No one can escape the lemons, after all. There are not many things we can guarantee in life but the fact we will all, at some point, come across adversity is one of them. Adversity, trauma, pain, struggles – call it what you will – upheaval happens in our lives whether we like it or not and, chances are, it’s happening to you right now.
This could be subtle upheaval such as rows with loved ones and disappointments, or more serious trauma such as bereavement, getting divorced and illness. It doesn’t have to be an ‘event’ at all; you could just feel that you are in a rut. We are all thrown a curveball once in a while but it’s how we react and deal with those curveballs that makes us stronger. And crucially, how we grow from them. That’s what we believe real strength is at Psychologies magazine – not just surviving hard times, but thriving because, and in spite of them – and this is what this book aims to help you to do.
But just as the traumas we will all experience in our lives will differ hugely, so will our perceptions of those experiences. The same can be said of what we constitute as real strength all we can say, is that ‘real’ is the crucial word here; because it’s about what feels real and authentic to you, what makes you feel strong.
That’s probably the most important ethos here at Psychologies magazine: you are an individual and what helps and inspires you when you hit a rough patch won’t necessarily help the next person. That’s why we’d like you to see Real Strength as a toolkit for unlocking and building upon your inner resilience; your ability, not just to bounce back from adversity, but to use it as a platform to bounce even higher. And this is perfectly within your reach. It’s likely that it doesn’t feel like that right now, but trust us, it is.
In fact, we’re here not only to help you believe that, but to show you how it’s done. Using the latest research and advice from experts in fields of wellbeing and resilience, Real Strength aims to help you define your own brand of resilience and to develop the skills to tap into it. We sincerely believe that if you can do that, there is greater joy and contentment waiting for you around the corner and it’s very probable you will come to see this hardship you’re going through as the greatest gift you were ever given.
We’ve divided this book into three parts:
In Part 1, you’ll gain an overview of the interpretations – current and not so current – of real strength in our culture. We’ll invite you to look at all the different ways in which we, at Psychologies, define it, and encourage you to decide which parts of the list chime most with you in order to curate your own definition. Or at least to decide which facets of real strength you’d like to work on the most.
In Part 2, we’ll help you to understand what obstacles you might be coming up against that are stopping you from feeling and being stronger. We’ll look at whether certain people are naturally more resilient than others – what skills and qualities they have that you could learn and how to learn them. Also, there’s a section on ‘strength robbers’ – common pitfalls we fall into that chip away at our ability to be resilient.
In Part 3, we give you real techniques and actual therapies that professionals use that will help you to build strength and resilience in the most empowering and lasting way possible. We aim for these practical steps to be things you can take away with you for the rest of your life. We don’t want to keep you waiting until the final part for practical help though, so throughout the book you’ll find tips that you can try out in order to start feeling better and stronger right now.
Liggy Webb, Consultant in Behavioural Skills
Dr Michael Sinclair, Consultant Counselling Psychologist